I remember days where I thought life was too hard to handle. I pleaded with God to take my life. I have cried myself to sleep. I have been down dark dark roads. I have done things I shouldn’t have, and I have hurt people I shouldn’t of. But as I write this today, just know that I too thought I would NEVER see a brighter day. I sit here though, never BEEN HAPPIER. Yes my life is FAR from perfect, but when you are given the gift of life each day and you learn to love not only yourself and others but the big man upstairs, life changes. Not in a drastic way where people will stop and ask questions or envy you, but in your heart, in your mind and soul where it is needed most. You will wake up each day and say thank you Lord for another day to live through you. And I will live through him. He has shown me that I can get through anything. That I can be a strong individual with so much love and passion for people. I can finally say that I am truly happy :)
Have faith in God.
Know that he is with you and will help you get through life’s struggles. He does NOT give you anything you cannot handle.
Nor are you alone.
As lonely as the path your leading down may feel like, just breathe.
Know that you are here for a reason and you have a purpose.
Anything that you need help with, take a second and ask for HELP. It does not mean you are weak, it just means you need guidance, you need to feel like someone has your back. That if you fail, someone will be there for you.
When no one else is there, and you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. When you beg God to take your life. When you go down the wrong path. When you are suffering.
HE IS THERE. He WANTS to help you. Just put your faith in God.
He is OUR support.
8-930am I woke up for church. Made my Myofusion Protein Shake. Waited for my mother to get ready. and we kind of got in a little huff. I was just hot and aggravated. I couldn’t find my garage door opener, and we were on the verge of being late (MY MOTHER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME). And I HATE being late, for anything!
10am We got to church. I apologized for how I was acting. I hate acting like a spoiled bitch to my mom. I fucking love her more then anything and I do not understand how I have such a low tolerance when it comes to me getting angry. It’s honestly like if I’m too hot (temp wise) that for some reason I am SO annoyed with everything around me. It would almost be better if I just didn’t talk to anyone when I’m pissy. I def need to work on that.
So we get to church, this is my first time at this Harvest. I’ve been to Harvest before but this one is a lot smaller but it was cool. As we were singing of course I got all teary eyed. Then when the pastor was talking about a college boy who wrote in for a prayer I like lost it. I started crying and had to get up and get tissues. THEN we went into small groups for about 30 min at the end and the one lady was talking and she had tears in her eyes and as soon as I saw them I started crying again. I have no idea why. I honestly think its because I just want to com fort all these people.
Even here on wordpress I see people struggling and I just want to make everything better. I want to open my arms and my heart for them. It just makes me so sad. Idk. I also think its because I haven’t cried in a while (which I think is a good thing for me lol). I am a very emotional person. lol
I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
Ok.. so that was my little moving experience today. Oh how I’ve learned to appreciate the days :)
It’s about quarter to 1. I am going to finish cleaning and my laundry and then I will head to the gym.
Bi’s and Tri’s today. Ugh and a shit ton of core work.
Justina is suppose to come over but she hasn’t texted me and its 1pm already. My weekends usually consist of working out cooking and cleaning and I RARELY find time to hang out with people. I don’t mind it actually. I am trying to FIND and CREATE myself and the world is a dark place with many temptations. Besides I like have 2 days where I have NO schedule and no alarm clock set :)
3pm Went and did my arms workout. It consisted of hammer curls, BB curls, skull crushers, bench dips and assisted dips, and sort of a triceps push down. I also did 5 minutes of planks =D
430pm Had a green smoothie and just relaxed a bit. I put greens, mango, banana, fiber and ice. This one tasted a little funky and I think its because I put in a green mixture… Ol well.
605pm Bored as fuck, and being lazy. Justina wanted to come over but she wouldn’t get here till 7, I’m a horrible entertainer, and right now I’M BROKE AS F U C K. no joke. I have $20 till Tuesday AM. NOT COOL. Blame it on online shopping and buying organic food. FML. lol and the fact that I owe 2 GRAND FOR MY MAC BOOK! hahaha but I love it so its allll good <3
I am going to finish up my blog, eat another meal at 7pm. OH I made parmesan crusted chicken last night and it was dank as shit. My mom loved it. Too bad I’m cutting cheese out of my diet so probably won’t eat that again…. MAYBE.. That and PB (except PB2). Not excited but theres too much shit in it. I’m gonna take it easy tonight. Just like I do every weekend haha.