Day 26 only cheating myself.

My pants from gap, that didnt fit now fit. Ok they dont “fit”: but I’m wearing them . HAHA.. anyways been pretty busy. I ate 2 cookies last night. I was going to eat more but I feel asleep (THANK YOU GOD SO MUCH). It’s either bc of my period or the fact that I smoked pot. Yes I smoke pot and Yes I am thinking of quitting. Right now this is where I need full dedication/motivation and I don’t think I’m all there yet. I will be, this is a work in progress and I will take it one day at a time.

I should be upset. I’m not. I went almost 30 days without “cheating.” I am SO so proud of myself.

I didn’t even really put much thought into this title, until now. Realizing that I should of put it for (what really is tomorrows blog) but noticing I kind of fucked up today (yesterday LOL) too. The reason I am not emphasizing on my bad days is because the more that I sit there and ask myself why, the more that I feel like I have a problem. I am overcoming it even if I do have one. But I need to fucking learn how to forgive myself. I can’t take back the food I eat (NO ED!), I can only r e s o l v e the issue. Work it off, hate myself for it, or nothing. I would usually hate myself for it AND do nothing. That obvious’y didn’t work. I realize that when or what I do only cheats myself. No one else is going to care so I have to. I have to CARE about myself. If only you were taught these things at a younger age … :/

930am Protein shake

1030am Lara Bar

1230-1pm Whole foods?

2pm Haven’t eaten yet. Not having a good day.

Oh and officially broke the zipper off to these pants.

230pm 1/2 chicken breast

300pm other 1/2 of the chicken breast

Black Bean Brownies Recipe

Nutritional Info: 85 calories, 1g fat, 16g carbs, 4g protein (without optional sugar)

Servings: 9

Description:

Dense, fudge-y and ultra-healthy, these brownies are a great alternative to traditional brownies! It’s amazing how they taste like chocolate and fudge and not beans! Chef’s Notes: Rolled oats run through the food processor may substituted for the instant oats. Use optional sugar if your bananas are still green and not very ripe.

Ingredients:

  • 15 ounces black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 2 whole bananas
  • cup agave nectar
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1 tbsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ¼ cup raw sugar (optional)
  • ¼ cup instant oats

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease an 8×8″ pan and set aside. Combine all ingredients, except oats, in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth, scrapping sides as needed. Stir in the oats and pour batter into the pan. Bake approximately 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow to cool before slicing. Chef’s Note: if you find these brownies are too soft or too fudge-y, add another 1/4 cup oats or flour.

and I am making this as soon as I get home from Cardio – From ChocolateCoveredKatie (whom I love)..

Pumpkin Chocolate-Chip Pizookie

(gluten free!)

Obviously inspired by the Deep-Dish Cookie Pie.

  • 2 cans white beans or garbanzos (drained and rinsed) (500g total, once drained)
  • 1 cup quick oats
  • 1/4 cup pureed pumpkin (or butternut squash or sweet potato)
  • 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 and 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 3 T canola oil (or coconut oil)
  • 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar (You can try adding less sugar, if you’re used to healthy desserts; I chose to use this much because the people to whom I served it are used to “normal” desserts. Also, white sugar will work if you don’t have brown. Also: I know some readers have successfully made my original pie with agave.)
  • 1 cup chocolate chips

Blend everything (except the chips) very well in a food processor. (Blend until it’s super-smooth.) Mix in chips, and pour into a pan. (I used a 10-inch springform pan, but you can use a smaller pan if you want a really deep-dish pie.) Cook at 350F for 35 minutes. Let stand at least 10 minutes before removing from the pan.

If desired, you can top this pie with Vanilla Ice Milk.

&

Vanilla Ice Milk :

  • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • very scant 1/16 tsp salt (don’t omit)
  • sweetener (such as 1 stevia packet or 1T sugar)
  • 1 cup almond milk (I used unsweetened Silk. See below for substitution notes.)
  • optional: add-ins such as fruit, peanut butter, or extracts

Mix the ingredients together in 1 or 2 shallow plastic containers. Freeze. (You could also use an ice cube tray.) Once frozen, pop the blocks out of the container (I thaw for 30 seconds in the microwave first) and blend in your Vita-Mix. (If you don’t have a vita-mix, you’ll probably have to thaw longer, but you can still get a yummy ice milk.)

This ice cream—when made with almond milk—has a very light texture (perfect for summer). For a creamier texture that’s more like real ice cream, try using at least 1/4c canned coconut milk (or maybe even creamer?). You can, of course, also sub other non-dairy milks for the almond. But if you do this, play around with the amount of vanilla extract, sweetener, and add-ins. (For example, an already-sweetened milk will probably need less added sweetener.) To make it look like real ice cream, see the “ice cream trick” link at the very bottom of this post.

Nutritional Info:

  • Calories: 40
  • Fat grams: 3
  • Sugar grams: 0

Probably gonna make all this tomorrow.

I passed out last night after I went to Whole Foods and jewel last night. Spent $100. :( lol. then came home and literally didn’t really do anything. Just passed out. So I’m writing this today lol.

But for my blogging experience,

Goodnight <3

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6 thoughts on “Day 26 only cheating myself.

  1. mooselicker says:

    You can make brownies out of black beans??? Science has jumped the shark.

  2. I think this is among the most significant information for me. And i am glad reading your article. But want to remark on some general things, The site style is wonderful, the articles is really excellent : D. Good job, cheers

  3. Better’n Peanut Butter + cocoa powder and a dash of powdered sugar= non-dessert dessert

  4. orangecrush says:

    Awesome blog! Glad to find other like-minded people in the blogosphere!

  5. Hmm it seems like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I wrote and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything. Do you have any helpful hints for beginner blog writers? I’d definitely appreciate it.

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