Monthly Archives: February 2012

Day 24 whatthefuck

Everything just deleted and I couldn’t get it back

730 protein shake
930 lara bar
130 Chicken Breast
430 Turkey Fajitas Potatoes Broccoli
610 Chicken Breast
730 Justins Almond Butter
800 Chicken Breast
900 Leg work out
1000 Protein shake

going to bed.

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Day 23 idk wtf is going on.

 

I woke up at 6am. Wide awake because Marley wouldn’t stop licking me. but I was wide awake. So I got up. checked emails and shizznit. Then I did my daily get up.
730am finished my protein shake. this time i added the super blend food (hemp cacao and maca) and the pb2 ice and water) It was actually pretty good 🙂

oh and I snacked on the last 1/4 of the lemon bar. I also grabbed 2 cuties to snack on..  (they have seeds and they suck).

I’ve been snacking on fruit and  bc of the natural sugars, I don’t really crave anything.
1. don’t eat fruit past 11am  UNLESS u work out like i do at night, and this is because fruits do have alot of sugar, regardless if its natural or not. It still affects the body. So use up those carbs!
2. check on which fruits are the best to eat, bananas are great after a workout!**

952am Feeling good, super excited about doing Legs today. Focusing more on squats, lunges of course! Cant forget the calve raises either. :/ Snacking on some Black tea, and a cutie orange 🙂 Have to head to whole foods again lol I FINALLY GOT PAIIIIDDDDD!!!!! haha and have to get chicken again. Seriously can I please get a discount or something?

1pm I left to go to Whole Foods and I stopped at the salad bar and I got SUPER excited. I decided I wanted potatoes, carbs starches ohhhh yeah LEG DAY BABYYY! Then I had fajita chicken (had cheese, yes I’m well aware I need to relax with this cheese kick here)…. and a LIL corn.. here is to prove it. And then I also got 2 pieces of blackened chicken. I only need one, but they looked SOOOOo good today! I was gonna get a almond butter, but even though Ill be burning a shit ton of calories later, I knew that my portion was a little bigger then I’m use too, so it’ll even it out with the snacking.

Mood: FUCKING AWESOME! I could use a power nap, obviously not possible but I could def use one. That or a massage. O M G. I cannot wait to get my taxes finished so I can have $$$ agaain! lol. I am very very excited about training today. Like I said early I’m focusing on squats today, I think I might want to try to go 3 plates on the leg press 🙂 that and lunges, leg exts and calf raises.

I do feel like I am getting skinnier, I JUST took a progress pic today, and it was before I had to pee and I really had to pee lol. regardless I still have a while, but I can only imagine what Im going to look like. I AM S T O K E D!.
I do feel/see that I’m holding water on my thigh under my ass cheek (cellulite), but that should disappear in a couple weeks.. Nothing to get upset about. I also know I looked skinnier when I’m tan and right now I’m pale as FUCK.  :(:( I also feel sexier when Im tan.. :/

Anywho Im bikini shopping today. Just looking around. I found a suit I want for actual summer,and then im checking out ones for the show. Jennifer got back to me and said the white one would be for sale but not the coral which Im super upset about. So ill just have to find something similar.

I love the chain, this is the look I’m going for.  Not to mention gold looks awesome on tanned skin 🙂

For some reason Im digging this. I think it would really “pop”.. But I wouldnt do the strings on the sides, id do a black chain. I listed a picture of all the connectors I can choose from.  L-61c is nice

Obviously have to add a pink one in for good measure lol. I actually really like her connectors, that or I can do smaller diamonds.

See this and a silver chain? Sc-22 Down below \/ Love the zebra And the pink.

So I got home last night at around 530pm

I took Marley out and ate (kind of more then I should have but I was hungry.)

I had 2 LARA BARS (wtf) and some nut butter. Idk what the fuck is wrong with me and the worst part about it?? I went to lay down so I could wait for my mom to get here to watch Marley, we’ll I felt SUPER tired, not normal. Well guess what? I JUST WOKE UP NOW AND ITS 7am! I missed my fucking workout. and i don’t get to workout today because I have class. How fucking shitty. THAT or I go to Xsport the 24/7 gym OR I see what time LA fitness closes at. regardless I’m pissed. and now hungry again.

Sorry guys.

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Day 22 #healthygirlproblems

8am I have been broke all week because a small shopping spree, and me having to pay for school, so I have $21 till tomorrow morning.  I didn’t have food to take to work this morning (I got lazy so its my own fault), and just so happens my gas light turned on.. well since I didn’t want to ask my mom or take money out of my savings, I decided to put $5 in my gas tank and leave the rest for my blackened chicken breasts from Whole Foods. I guess I’ll figure out how to get home later 😉

#healthygirlproblems.

830am Myofusion Protein Shake LIKE USUAL.

9am Learn that 4 students were shot at an Ohio High School. Please pray for a safe recovery.

The reason I am so tired this morning is because I stayed up late having “deep” (lol) conversations with someone, and this topic was brought up. About how people are inhumane. How people could look so “normal” on the outside and be so morally corrupted inside. I was never always a good girl, but I couldn’t DREAM up some of this stuff that people do (killing animals, brutal murders, ext). It’s just so unbelievable that people could honestly do some of the things that go on in this world.
905am I prayed for the first time in awhile. It felt so good.
1015am I am hungry. Drinking tea and a diet coke. Will eat a lara bar in about 30 min or so.
1207pm Super hungry. Had a PB Chocolate Chip Lara bar. It was actually pretty good, but I got to be careful of the ones with the CC’s bc they have sugar in it (not sure if its natural). Gonna head to Whole Foods again for my chicken breast.
Is it weird that I am super excited to get off work everyday and work out? Lol
I was so spoiled before when I was a personal trainer. I got to work out whenever I had free time. I was literally at the gym from 6am to 8pm (sometimes 10pm depending where I was with training for the competition). But no joke, it wasn’t even like going to work. I LOVED my clients (for the most part haha) and enjoyed going to work everyday for the WHOLE day. One day though, one day I’ll be back. I had a little taste of what I want to do for the rest of my life, and now I’m just creating a path, something I can be excited about and PROUD OF. Something I can feel like I accomplished by myself (I’m still trying to see my strengths and what I’m “good at”). I do know that I will be in the fitness industry or something pertaining to it for the rest of my life. I don’t see myself not caring about my body, or helping others feel good about themselves. I know one day I am going to finally feel like I “used everything God gave me.”
Actually that’s a really good quote, I’m googling it:

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, “I used everything you gave me.”

SO powerful <3.

1pm I went to whole foods, and got 2 blackened chicken breasts. Honestly every time I go into Whole foods I get excited.. More #healthygirlproblems? LOL. Btw I googled to see if I could make a website or something, but some girl already has it AND IS NOT GIVING IT ITS FULL POTENTIAL! I wonder if I could like…. buy it off her.. I think its a great freakin idea.  Not to mention my “facebook friends” have said they want a Bad Boy of the Day, as well as Bad Bitch of the Day// lol I thought that was kind of funny. I just don’t know how it would all work.. Ill think about it.

So anyways I left Whole Foods only $9.57 later. CHEAPEST TRIP TO WHOLE FOODS EVER!! and I ate one of my chicken breasts in the car. Is that weird? actually I really am weird.

230pm and I’m eating Justin’s Chocolate Almond Butter packet (180 cals), stomach is already growling.

Not sure what I want to do today in the gym. I just did legs on Saturday so I’m waiting till tomorrow to do those again. My arms , more specifically my tri’s, hurt like a bitch. Which is great, because my arms NEVER are sore the next day. I also think my arms are the weakest part of my body. I would LOVE nice defined arms. ❤ ❤

SO fucking sexy.

Btw forgot to take a progress pic. Don’t mind though, I’m really more worried about 9 weeks and later (9 weeks is usually where most people start dieting, depending on their off season).
5pm Ate 1/2 of the other chicken breast IN MY CAR, like the first one.. Seriously here I am banging my dub step with a huge chicken breast in my hand. Just IMAGINE IT!
630pm Ate the other 1/2 of the chicken breast, 1/2 of a lemon lara bar, a cutie (orange thing), and the last 2 PB&J squares.
8pm Finally got to the gym! Super excited about working out. I have no idea but I honestly feel like a whole new person. Ive stopped letting people get to me. Ive stayed positive when life takes its turns, and overall I just live life with out fear. And thats something that I could NOT say a few years ago, probably even a month ago.

I am F E A R L E S S !

So I hit the gym with probably one of the best attitudes that I have had in a LONG time. I first hit Assited pull ups (can’t wait to do these on my own, superfuckingexcited). I then went to a unilateral row (went pretty heavy here). Follwed by a super set consisting of a Wide grip row and a pullover. Then ended with some machine I actually have no idea what it is called (went heavy here too). I finished up with 5 minutes of planks and 20 minutes of the stair master. I feel fucking AWESOME!

930pm Came home and made a protein shake (myofusion banana and pb2 ice water) tastes great 🙂 Finishing up the blogs, updates, emails, and then gonna call this one an early one. Sorry today was kind of boring.. Not much going on. 😉

My lift big eat big sweatshirt ❤ 

And for some reason I look super skinny. Idk why..  
Def excited about this change though. It’s only gonna get better from here on out. Have faith, and everything else seems easy.

Goodnight ❤ 

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88 unexpected snacks under 100 calories.


This list is filled with sizable options enjoyable enough to devour guilt-free without any diet damage. And while most of these snacks pack a nutritious punch, a few are clearly set out to satisfy that sweet tooth (see #23!). But hey, at 100 calories or less, it’s worth the splurge.

  1. Mini PB&F: One fig Newton with 1 teaspoon peanut butter.
  2. Chocolate Banana: Half a frozen banana [this size] dipped in two squares of melted dark chocolate.
  3. Frozen grapes (any color): 1 cup (about 28 grapes), stuck in the freezer for 2+ hours.
  4. Honeyed Yogurt: ½ cup nonfat Greek yogurt with a dash of cinnamon and 1 teaspoon honey.
  5. Spiced Orange: One orange— about the size of a tennis ball— sprinkled with cinnamon.
  6. Grilled Pineapple: 2 ¼-inch thick pineapple rounds (about 1 cup), grilled (or sautéed) for two minutes or until golden.
  7. Berries n’ Cream: 1 cup blueberries with 2 tablespoons whipped topping.
  8. Stuffed Figs: Two small dried figs with 1 tablespoon reduced-fat ricotta stuffed inside. Sprinkle with cinnamon.
  9. Oats n’ Berries:  ⅓ cup rolled oats (cooked with water), topped with cinnamon and ¼ cup freshberries.
  10. Dark Chocolate: One block, or three squares.
  11. Nut-Stuffed Date: One Medjool Date filled with one teaspoon natural unsalted almond butter.
  12. Chocolate Milk: 6 ounces skim milk mixed with 2 teaspoons chocolate syrup.
  13. CinnamonApplesauce: 1 cup unsweetened applesauce (like Motts). Or, try this homemade version!
  14. Citrus-Berry Salad: 1 cup mixed berry salad (raspberries, strawberries, blueberries, and/or blackberries) tossed with one tablespoon fresh-squeezed orange juice.
  15. Maple-Pumpkin Yogurt: ½ cup non-fat regular yogurt (go Greek for extra protein!) with 2 tablespoons pumpkin puree and 1 teaspoon maple syrup… like this!
  16. Chocolate Pudding: One 4oz package. Try a fat/sugar free version or a homemade one!
  17. Chocolate Covered Strawberries: Five strawberries dipped in two squares melted dark chocolate.
  18. Tropical Juice Smoothie: ¼ cup pineapple juice, orange juice, and apple juice, blended with ice.
  19. Vanilla and Banana Smoothie: ½ cup sliced banana, ¼ cup nonfat vanilla yogurt, and a handful of ice blended until smooth.
  20. MYO Banana Chips: One sliced banana dipped in lemon juice and baked.
  21. Baked Apple: One tennis ball-sized apple, cored, filled with 1 teaspoon brown sugar and cinnamon, and baked until tender.
  22. Fruity Waffles: One 7-grain frozen waffle toasted and topped with ¼ cup fresh mixed berries.
  23. Skinny S’more: Two graham crackers with one roasted marshmallow and one small square dark chocolate.
  24. Cinnamon Graham Crackers & Peanut butter: Two graham cracker squares with 1 teaspoon peanut butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
  25. Cereal and Milk: ½ cup rice krispies with ½ cup skim milk.
  26. Milk n’ Cookies: Five animal crackers with ½ cup skim milk.
  27. Warm Spiced Cider: 6 ounces apple cider with sprinkles of cinnamon and nutmeg, warmed.
  28. Citrus Sherbet: ½ cup lime sherbet (about one standard-sized ice-cream scoop) with ½ sliced kiwi.
  29. Café Latte: 8 ounces steamed skim milk with 1 shot espresso.
  30. Jelly Beans: 25 of ‘em! Although we don’t recommend these.
  31. Marshmallow Pear: ½ pear diced and topped with 1 tablespoon marshmallow fluff.
  32. Protein Shake: One scoop protein powder with 8 ounces water (choose from tasty powder flavors like cookies n’ cream and chocolate peanut butter!).  
  33. M.Y.O. Popsicle: 8 ounces lemonade frozen in an ice pop mold, or use a small paper cup as a mold.
  34. Apple Chips: Munch on ¾ cup of kinds like these, or use this recipe!
  35. Carrots n’ Hummus: About 10 baby carrots with 2 tablespoons hummus.
  36. Pistachios: A couple handfuls— about 25 nuts (Crackin’ them open will take more time and avoid grabbing 25 more).
  37. Cheese n’ Crackers: Five Kashi 7-grain crackers with 1 stick reduced-fat string cheese.
  38. Dippy Egg: One over easy egg with ½ slice whole-wheat toast, sliced (to dip in yolk!).
  39. Cheesy Breaded Tomatoes: Two roasted plum tomatoes sliced and topped with 2 tablespoons breadcrumbs and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese.
  40. Curried Sweet Potato: One medium sweet potato (about 5 inches long) cooked for six minutes in the microwave and mashed with 1 teaspoon curry, and a sprinkle of salt and pepper.
  41. “Cheesy” Popcorn: 2 cups air-popped popcorn with 1 tablespoon nutritional yeast— it’ll taste like real cheese!
  42. Guacamole stuffed Egg Whites: Halve a hardboiled egg, remove yolk, and stuff the empty space with 2 tablespoons guacamole (avocado, lime, cilantro and salt).
  43. Grilled Spinach and Feta Polenta: 3 oz polenta (about the size of a deck of cards) cooked with 1 ½ cups water and topped with 1 teaspoon feta cheese and a handful spinach.
  44. Soy Edamame: ¼ cup boiled Edamame with 1 teaspoon soy sauce.
  45. Dijon Pretzels: Two pretzel rods with 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard.
  46. Crunchy Curried Tuna Salad: ½ cup canned tuna with 1 teaspoon curry powder, 1 tablespoon chopped red onion, and two ribs celery (chopped).
  47. Greek Tomatoes: One tomato (about the size of a tennis ball) chopped and mixed with 1 tablespoon feta and a squeeze of lemon juice.
  48. Shrimp Cocktail: Eight medium sized shrimp boiled and served with 2 tablespoons classic cocktail sauce.
  49. Smoked Beef Jerky: About 1 ounce— look for low sodium versions!
  50. Cheddar and Tomato Soup: ½ cup tomato soup with 1 tablespoon shredded low-fat cheddar cheese.
  51. Kale Chips: ½ cup raw kale— stems removed— baked with 1 teaspoon olive oil at 400° until crisp.
  52. Sweet Potato Fries: One light-bulb sized sweet potato sliced, tossed with 1 teaspoon olive oil, and baked at 400° for 10 minutes.
  53. Cucumber Sandwich: ½ English muffin with 2 tablespoons cottage cheese and three slices of cucumber.
  54. Turkey Roll-Ups: Four slices smoked turkey rolled up and dipped in 2 teaspoons honey mustard.
  55. Mixed Olives: About 8 olives.
  56. Antipasto Plate: One Pepperocini, a ½ inch cube of cheddar cheese, one slice pepperoni, and one olive.
  57. Pumpkin Seeds: 2 tablespoons pumpkin seeds, sprayed with oil (just a spritz!) and baked at for 400° for 15 minutes or until brown. Sprinkle with kosher salt.
  58. Choco-Soy Nuts: 3 tablespoons soy nuts with 1 teaspoon cocoa nibs.
  59. Wasabi Peas: About  ⅓ cup of these green treats.
  60. Balsamic Veggies: 3 cups raw peppers (any color!) dipped in 2 tablespoons balsamic reduction.
  61. Cheesy Roasted Asparagus: Four spears (spritzed with olive-oil spray) and topped with 2 tablespoons grated parmesan cheese, baked for 10 minutes at 400°.
  62. Cucumber salad: One large cucumber (sliced) with 2 tablespoons chopped red onion and 2 tablespoons apple-cider vinegar.
  63. Spinach and Feta Egg-White Scramble: Three egg whites scrambled and mixed with ½ cup rawspinach and 1 tbsp feta cheese. Cook in frying pan or zap in microwave until egg whites are no longer runny (about 1-2 minutes).
  64. Crunchy Kale Salad: 1 cup kale leaves chopped with 1 teaspoon honey and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar.
  65. Chick Pea Salad: ¼ chickpeas with 1 tablespoon sliced scallions, a squeeze of lemon juice, and ¼ cup diced tomatoes.
  66. Grilled Garlic Corn on the Cob: One small-sized ear brushed with 1 teaspoon sautéed minced garlic and 1 teaspoon olive oil, grilled until tender.
  67. Pretzels & Cream Cheese: 15 mini pretzel sticks with 2 tablespoons fat-free cream cheese.
  68. Bacon Brussels Salad: Seven brussel spouts thinly sliced and mixed with one piece lean bacon, chopped.
  69. Rosemary Potatoes:  ⅓ cup thinly sliced potato tossed with 1 teaspoons olive oil and a teaspoon of chopped rosemary.
  70. Spicy Black Beans: ¼ cup black beans with 1 tablespoon salsa and 1 tablespoon non-fat Greek yogurt.
  71. Caprese Salad: 1 ounce (hockey puck sized) of fresh mozzarella with ½ cup cherry tomatoes and 2 teaspoons of balsamic vinegar.
  72. Goldfish: About 40 fishies…try the cheddar kind!
  73. Chips n’ Salsa: 10 baked tortilla chips with ¼ cup salsa.
  74. Mini Ham Sandwich: Two slices honey-baked ham with 2 teaspoons honey mustard rolled in a lettuce leaf.
  75. Lox Bagel: ½ whole-wheat mini bagel with two thin slices of lox.
  76. Chocolate Trail Mix: Eight almonds, four chocolate chips, and 1 tablespoon raisins.
  77. Apples and Cheese: 1 non-fat mozzarella cheese stick with half of a baseball-sized apple (any variety), sliced.
  78. PB & Celery: 1 medium celery stalk with 1 tablespoon peanut butter.
  79. Cottage Cheese Melon Boat: 1 cup melon balls with ½ cup non-fat cottage cheese.
  80. Carrot and Raisin Salad: 1 cup shaved carrots with 2 tablespoons raisins and 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar.
  81. Tropical Cottage Cheese: ½ cup non-fat cottage cheese with ½ cup fresh mango and pineapple, chopped.
  82. Blue-Cheese Stuffed Apricots: Three dried apricots with 1 tablespoon crumbled blue cheese.
  83. Rice Cake and Almond Butter: One rice cake (try brown rice!) with 2 teaspoons almond butter.
  84. Sweet n’ Spicy Pecans: Five pecans roasted with 2 teaspoons maple syrup and 1 teaspoon cinnamon.
  85. Apples n’ Peanut Butter: ½ an apple, sliced and dipped in 1 teaspoon natural peanut butter.
  86. Chocolate Hazelnut Crackers: Four wheat thins dipped in 1 teaspoon Nutella (or other hazelnut spread).
  87. Strawberry Salad: 1 cup raw spinach with ½ cup sliced strawberries and 1 tablespoon balsamic.
  88. Cacao-Roasted Almonds: Pop in eight almonds like these!

http://www.greatist.com

 

A bikini diet is not a “normal” “diet”, it is very hard to make the eating part a lifestyle because it is so strict. You keep your body fat at such a low % most people can’t handle it.

 

Yes I obviously didn’t write this but these are for people who need help TRANSFORMING their eating habits/ way of life. Yes you will BARELY see any of this (besides the fruit and vegetables), in my diet at all. A bikini comp diet is a little stressful and the closer I get to  my show the more things I have to take out (last 2 weeks NO carbs, no red meat, no pop ext), and last week no salt. Not to mention I gave up all processed foods, so I don’t eat anything that isn’t “whole”.

This is just to be helpful and for you to KNOW that you CAN eat, its just ALL IN MODERATION!!!!

 

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Day 21 If I have no love I am nothing

One of the most inspiring quotes/pictures I have ever came across ❤

 

I remember days where I thought life was too hard to handle. I pleaded with God to take my life. I have cried myself to sleep. I have been down dark dark roads. I have done things I shouldn’t have, and I have hurt people I shouldn’t of. But as I write this today, just know that I too thought I would NEVER see a brighter day. I sit here though, never BEEN HAPPIER. Yes my life is FAR from perfect, but when you are given the gift of life each day and you learn to love not only yourself and others but the big man upstairs, life changes. Not in a drastic way where people will stop and ask questions or envy you, but in your heart, in your mind and soul where it is needed most. You will wake up each day and say thank you Lord for another day to live through you. And I will live through him. He has shown me that I can get through anything. That I can be a strong individual with so much love and passion for people. I can finally say that I am truly happy 🙂
Have faith in God.
Know that he is with you and will help you get through life’s struggles. He does NOT give you anything you cannot handle.

Nor are you alone.
As lonely as the path your leading down may feel like, just breathe.
Know that you are here for a reason and you have a purpose.

Anything that you need help with, take a second and ask for HELP. It does not mean you are weak, it just means you need guidance, you need to feel like someone has your back. That if you fail, someone will be there for you.

When no one else is there, and you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. When you beg God to take your life. When you go down the wrong path. When you are suffering.
HE IS THERE. He WANTS to help you. Just put your faith in God.

He is OUR support.

 

8-930am I woke up for church. Made my Myofusion Protein Shake. Waited for my mother to get ready. and we kind of got in a little huff. I was just hot and aggravated. I couldn’t find my garage door opener, and we were on the verge of being late (MY MOTHER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME). And I HATE being late, for anything!

10am We got to church. I apologized for how I was acting. I hate acting like a spoiled bitch to my mom. I fucking love her more then anything and I do not understand how I have such a low tolerance when it comes to me getting angry. It’s honestly like if I’m too hot (temp wise) that for some reason I am SO annoyed with everything around me. It would almost be better if I just didn’t talk to anyone when I’m pissy. I def need to work on that.

 

So we get to church, this is my first time at this Harvest. I’ve been to Harvest before but this one is a lot smaller but it was cool. As we were singing of course I got all teary eyed. Then when the pastor was talking about a college boy who wrote in for a prayer I like lost it. I started crying and had to get up and get tissues. THEN we went into small groups for about 30 min at the end and the one lady was talking and she had tears in her eyes and as soon as I saw them I started crying again. I have no idea why. I honestly think its because I just want to com fort all these people.

Even here on wordpress I see people struggling and I just want to make everything better. I want to open my arms and my heart for them. It just makes me so sad. Idk. I also think its because I haven’t cried in a while (which I think is a good thing for me lol). I am a very emotional person. lol

 

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.  ~Mother Teresa

 

Ok.. so that was my little moving experience today. Oh how I’ve learned to appreciate the days 🙂
It’s about quarter to 1. I am going to finish cleaning and my laundry and then I will head to the gym.

Bi’s and Tri’s today. Ugh and a shit ton of core work.

Justina is suppose to come over but she hasn’t texted me and its 1pm already. My weekends usually consist of working out cooking and cleaning and I RARELY find time to hang out with people. I don’t mind it actually. I am trying to FIND and CREATE myself and the world is a dark place with many temptations. Besides I like have 2 days where I have NO schedule and no alarm clock set 🙂

3pm Went and did my arms workout. It consisted of hammer curls, BB curls, skull crushers, bench dips and assisted dips, and sort of a triceps push down. I also did 5 minutes of planks =D

430pm Had a green smoothie and just relaxed a bit. I put greens, mango, banana, fiber and ice. This one tasted a little funky and I think its because I put in a green mixture… Ol well.

605pm Bored as fuck, and being lazy. Justina wanted to come over but she wouldn’t get here till 7, I’m a horrible entertainer, and right now I’M BROKE AS F U C K. no joke. I have $20 till Tuesday AM. NOT COOL. Blame it on online shopping and buying organic food. FML. lol and the fact that I owe 2 GRAND FOR MY MAC BOOK! hahaha but I love it so its allll good ❤

I am going to finish up my blog, eat another meal at 7pm. OH I made parmesan crusted chicken last night and it was dank as shit. My mom loved it. Too bad I’m cutting cheese out of my diet so probably won’t eat that again…. MAYBE.. That and PB (except PB2). Not excited but theres too much shit in it. I’m gonna take it easy tonight. Just like I do every weekend haha.

 

 

Goodnight ❤

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Before and After Bikini Comp Pics <3

Before:

In the Process:

 

Day before the Show:

Day of the Show:

Day after:

Yes my room is messy and yes I look like shit without makeup haha ❤ But this is my true transformation. I believe I have more before pics but they are somewhere on that pink camera and I have NO idea where it is. I am thinking my sister stole it back again. (its mine, but she keeps taking it lol)..

So there you have it kids. IT IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!

Yes it takes hard work but why would you not want to give yourself 100% ?

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Day 20 The N Word?

 Mark Twain wrote that
“the difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter.”

So my hunger pains in the morning are So bad 😦 its almost like I can’t wake up fast enough to eat, they literally hurt so bad. So this morning when I go downstairs to make something my mom brings up this article she just read. In which a high school teacher (or a different level of education) called Whitney Houston a Nigger on his Facebook.  So while she is explaining on why she doesn’t think the punishment fit the crime (he was suspended), and that he shouldn’t of gotten reprimanded at all, I was biting my tongue.

I usually have the “i don’t give a fuck additude” practically all the time, but this time I was actually in favor of it. Why would a EDUCATION TEACHER use “nigger” to DESCRIBE Whitney Houston? Honestly?

You couldn’t of found a better word to use to describe someone? Unless you were trying to piss on her grave.

That is of course, he said “Whitney Houston was my nigga!” (which could be, I actually didn’t read it lol), then I could understand. But what kind of M O R O N uses a  RACIAL SLUR to describe someone who just died. Yeah.. I think this may just be a little case of racism. How else could you POSSIBLY justify that. Unless you are on drugs.

I wonder if he was on drugs and doesn’t remember logging onto Facebook and writing a status about Whitney…. hmmm..

ANYWHO

I obviously wrote my Facebook status about it (apparently I found a good reason to have 5000+ friends), and you got people saying its America and you can say what you want, then you get people trying to define it.

30 comments (the smoking and obesity one had over 75 haha).

“No one should be using that word.. Any word that insults or offends someone shouldn’t be used..”

“Say nigga and its all good !! The other one is offensive because of what it means …. Nigga is like saying what’s up homie or what’s up brah , I still don’t use it but see a lot of my friends say it Haha … And a lot of my friends are black so I feel weird using that word ”

“Its a very touchy subject becuz how the word started. Today its rarel used in the same term as it was in the old days, but to some it still holds the same weight. Me i lived in prejudice and ive dealt witb prejudice but it doesnt control my life. People give this word too much power.”

“Who said they can use the word freely? Who ever thinks they can use the word freely. Go to the south side find some thugged out ass nigga and say that word “freely” and see wtf happens lmao.”

“i agree. i say nigga all the time. if its such a horrible word than maybe it shoukdnt be in every fuxking rap song every 5 words”

^(This is what my mom was trying to get at. That since its being used without questioning morals/values/racism, that why should a teacher get suspended for saying it on his Facebook).  I can understand this point BUT he used it in a derogatory manner. In a way that was meant to hurt, or “bash” whitney. He didn’t just MISTAKENLY said it, like it just slipped. It was intentional and SHOULD be recognized. ESPECIALLY because he is suppose to be someone people look up to, who listen to, and grow from. It’s a bad example and he needs to know the severity of ignorance and what it will cost you.

The N-Word is no different. And because this word is only a word, black people have to stop getting offended at its use by white people. I personally am more offended when a white person tries to use it the way we do or in the spirit of camaraderie. And my uneasiness has more to do with the fact that it comes out so unnaturally and phony. That word has become a part of who we are and so it rolls off of our tongue naturally. White people will never be able to say the word in a way that doesn’t make every listener cringe. After all, there are millions of words, whether you want to insult or edify someone, at your disposal. It won’t hurt white people if they can’t use this one — will it?
(this is actually from rolling out.com but when I found the picture I read the article and I COULD N O T HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF!)

You don’t see me walking down the street saying what up cunt? Words (good or bad) should not be ignorantly used, (this could even stem as far as last weeks psych class and how this girl called W. Houston a “piece of shit” LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?! Did you personally know her? WHy would ANYONE ever judge someone on their way of life. You do NOT know peoples struggles and judging someone before you actually know someone is ruthless and so sad), because words HURT. Words do not just disappear from ones mind/thoughts.

words =powerful. VERY POWERFUL. Use them wisely. 

Sorry, I’ve been ranting a lot and I wish everything that comes out of my mouth is recorded because remembering all my KEY points is hard, especially when I have PB&J blondies cooking in the oven.

This turned out okay. Had I made them correctly they would definitely curb a sweet craving. I added PB2 instead of actual PB. And I didn’t use all the B. Sugar they wanted.

So it was sweet, not TOO sweet, but def not enough PB taste 😦
But no big deal, they are half gone. Awesome.

So real quick :

9am green smoothie (spinach banana mango flax fiber ice orange juice and L-Carnitine).
&& I ate some PB&J squares.

1pm “meatloaf” and some leftover cauliflower “potatoes” (only ate 1/2).

2pm Leg Work Out:

Deadlift:

2 sets of 10reps x 65lbs

1 set of 8 reps x 75lbs

1 set of 6 reps x 85lbs

Back Ext:

3 sets of 8 reps x 45lbs

Lunges:

2 sets of 25 reps x 40lbs

2 sets of 25 reps x BW

Leg Ext:

1 set of 12 reps x 65 lbs

1 set of 10 reps x 80 lbs

2 set of 9 reps x 95lbs

1 set of 8 reps x 110lbs

1 set of 6 reps x 125lbs

1 set of 4 reps x 140lbs

3pm Myofusion and Banana Protein Shake.

330pm Took Marley to Mike’s house , so she could meet Deuce. I have some really cool pictures of the two together. Deuce was like in LOVE with Marley and wouldn’t leave her alone. They played for a hour straight (played in the water with the ducks too lol) and now she is PASSED the fuck out on the couch.

6pm Ate the rest of the meat loaf and cauliflower.

So……. I’m debating whether to go out or not tonight. I would drive…. be the big DD, but I KNOW I will drink 😦 I succumb to peer pressure thats why I don’t ever go out. Granted it wouldn’t be that bad (but if I have to drive they can suck it), but I don’t want those extra calories. Since I more a shot girl then mixed drink or beer, so lets google how many calories are in a shot of vodka.

The last one has less calories right? 😉

70 Proof Vodka

On average, 70 proof vodka (35% alcohol) has 85 calories per shot (1.5 ounces).
This is approximately 55 calories per ounce.

80 Proof Vodka

On average, 80 proof vodka (40% alcohol) has 100 calories per shot (1.5 ounces).
This is approximately 65 calories per ounce.

 90 Proof Vodka

On average, 90 proof vodka (45% alcohol) has 115 calories per shot (1.5 ounces).
This is approximately 75 calories per ounce.

100 Proof Vodka

On average, 100 proof vodka (50% alcohol) has 130 calories per shot (1.5 ounces).
This is approximately 85 calories per ounce.

Yeah.. no thank you.

  1. If I was able to, I’d rather have a cupcake.
  2. You can’t go to Chicago counting calories. AND RIGHT NOW I HAVE TO!

HMMMMM I don’t know. It’s about 7pm, I probably have another hour or so to decide. Mike kind  of wants to go, maybe just needs a DD lol so maybe Ill do it for him. jk. thats stupid.

Got to stay focussed.

Bikini comp details/ LIFESTYLE CHANGE!

So far, I haven’t craved anything really. The baking curbs any need for “sweets”.

What are my have snacks or desserts?

  • Lara Bars
  • Green Smoothies.
  • Sugar cookies (made with chickpeas)
  • Justin’s Almond Butter Packets
SO this is what I turn too when I am craving something sweet.  I do want to get raw cacao now, because all my recipes call for it.. and I’ll finally be able to have some chocolate!  As you know, I have my little guilty pleasure of diet sodas and SF Red Bull. Usually getting a drink helps me not want to snack which is good. Baking also helps when your hungry, because it takes time, but when the product comes out, thats the hardest lol.
Lately I’ve been having GREAT will power, and haven’t thought about bingeing (Greg did leave a twix on my desk and I was so fucking pissed). :/

However, I am tired lately, but it’s probably a combination of lack of carbs and working out regularly now. I did look in the mirror at a bad angle and it kind of warmed my blood a little bit. Ugh I am so fucking impatient. I think that bingeing for 4 weeks straight is going to just DISAPPEAR in 20 days.. LOL .. of course I don’t (irrational-this is not biggest loser) and I tell my clients this all the time. It is fun to watch your body transform though. Speaking of which, I have to start taking progress pics tomorrow. NOT happy. And I won’t show any of you readers then till probably the end of the contest prep. I will however post a before and afters blog tomorrow 🙂 It’s just a little motivation for myself. ❤

I am going to go make another protein shake and then I am going to head to bed. I think I need to start organizing this blog a little more. I feel myself getting overwhelmed. umph.

Goodnight ❤


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Day 19 Obesity: The New Smoking!

I need to start writing down my thoughts more often because either A. I’m hilarious or B. I actually have a valid point..

Which moves me onto reading my sticky note on my iphone… should I write it verbatim? lol..  k.

Do it matters how someone does ubealthy foods heat diesel but want to cure cancer

lol.

And that explains a conversation I had with a co worker. I was driving him somewhere and a commerical came on about sugary drinks. When they all ordered sugar and the dude was like wtf yo and theyre like I’m not gonna eat the sugar, I’m going to drink it.. lol. I personally love it and actually makes SENSE PEOPLE AND DON’T.. how should I say it? SUGARCOAT IT??

haha.. anywho.. he was “pissed” because that money should be going towards curing cancer (which I actually believe it has been cured, and I actually think the government is no bueno lol), but it didn’t get me thinking till later that night.

I always get stopped on my way home on route 83 and there is a Culvers (FLAVOR OF THE DAY OMG!), Papa Johns (JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE MY FAVE) and a Mcdonalds all on the same intersection. So while I was sitting in the precense of all these fast food places I asked myself a qeustion (I actually talk to myself alot), and it was along the lines of:

  • Why does it matter what kind of illness or disease a person dies from?
  • Why does cancer make heart diease, stoke, or diabetes any different?
  • Is it because people who die from obesity, MAKE themselves sick?

Obesity: ‘Like the new smoking’

Two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese and, according to a growing body of evidence, at greater risk of getting, and dying of, cancer. ‘Obesity is almost like the new smoking,’ says one expert.

The more I ask myself these questions, the more I think I’m asking myself how the world all began. It’s almost hopeless. The people who want change will seek it, the people who want free will and a stubborn attitude can eat their lives away.. literally.

Regardless, just because people are taxing sugary drinks doesn’t mean they are disappearing.. WHICH THEY SHOULD!!!!  we want to bitch about fat people yet provide the stuff that is causing the problem.  We are trying to save lives by curing cancer and healing the sick, when WHERE WE LIVE IS A REASON WHY SOME PEOPLE ARE SICK IN THE FIRST PLACE! We are providing the processed foods, the tobacco ext. We are KNOWINGLY ALLOWING people to get sick. There is PROOF these fast foods do damage, that these cigarettes take years off your life, but we ignore this why?  We live in a world where there is a Mcdonalds on every damn corner, where it’s faster to get a meal “made” then it is to go pee in the morning. I mean COME ON!

If you want to bitch about something make sure somewhere down the road you won’t walk into a huge contradiction.

:/ Honestly to each their own. From here on out, If you want to live unhealthy and ruin the only thing that is pure in this world go ahead. Be what you hate in this world. It’s the american thing to do.

** HOLY SHIT!**

It’s ( 1:09am), Still haven’t published this blog, but I’m glad I didn’t. I just posted a status about what I was talking about (obesity vs smoking) and it got so many people heated..People really got weird when I compared smoking to eating like shit.. The convo got to where they said how since smoking affects others around you that its worse then eating like shit.

I am going to paste some comments people posted:

LOL @ the people who look down on smokers, and eat like shit #doingthesameharmpeople!
and 73 comments later.. here are some certain clips..
“how is eating like shit killing, and or putting possible cancer in your lungs? Dieting or changing your eating habits can reverse eating like shit, once cancer shows up you’re kinda screwed.
I think the harm is on two different levels…..”
“didn’t read everything everyone else said.. but while I can see your logic behind this post.. food is a necessity to life. Smoking is not. While eating shit food isnt as good as eating “healthy” food.. it still can sustain life. Now i didnt do research on this.. but no food comes to mind that directly leads to cancer to the person consuming it.. nor the person sitting next to the person consuming it. so yeah.. this isnt comparing apples to apples here.

about an hour ago · Like · 
Like what the fuck.. I don’t understand how we got from comparing obesity and smoking, turned into smoking is so much worse because it effects more then just the user. IT DOESN’T MATTER! Just because it happens to kill others, doesn’t make it any less harmful to its user.

(1:42am) And now that I am STILL having a conversation regarding smoking and eating unhealthy, It is now a known fact that obesity will kill you faster then smoking will.. yeah. Unbelievable.

ARE WE GOING TO FINALLY UNDERSTAND NOW?

This isn’t a low carb diet, or a no food fad, this is a lifestyle that we selfishlessly LOST somewhere. We are addicted to the sugar, to the convienece, to a lazy lifestyle!

  • But just for the record, just like some smokers will always smoke, some people will just always eat unhealthy. 😦

Why do we think we can just sweep things under neath the rug and pretend they don’t exist?

Oh lifes questions, haha ❤

Back to FRIDAY- Today has been so busy I have been all over the place… I actually think I am going to finish this blog tomorrow, because I cannot keep my eyes open and today was actually a pretty good day..

Ate at 6pm LOL in my car. here.. look.

Sorry that it’s upside down.

Told you I was super busy.. I also ate a Lara bar, this one was cashew cookie. I thought this one was gonna be good because I love cashews but um…… it tasted like a hotdog……weird? tell me about it……..

Decided not to go to the gym today.. I didn’t wanna stress out and I got home at 8pm and Im coming up with excuses now. I am doing legs tomorrow which I am SUPER excited about, then arms on sunday. Both with 30-35 min cardio each day.

So at 8pm I ate some “meatloaf” and cauliflower mashed potatoes:

Then I STARTED BLOGGING and bitching at dumb ass people on my Facebook, I am still not in bed.. I guess I can start my Day 20 blog too haha..

Goodnight ❤

Tomorrow’s post will be better, its SATURDAY!

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Day 18 Motivational Rant

Maintaining Motivation

 

I don’t even know where to begin. Do I talk about how hard it was before? or the steps I am going to take now and for the rest of my life?

I would say lets be realistic here but I am going to stay on a positive note on this one. I am learning to love myself for who I am, for who God made me to be, everyday. No it hasn’t been easy TO SAY THE LEAST, but after looking back to everything I have been through (and more to come, BRING IT ON!), I know that it has been worth it.

My dictionary defines motivation as: “1) the reason or reasons behind one’s actions or behavior. 2) enthusiasm.”

My motivation is seeing past pictures of myself, and knowing what I did to get there. I remember those days, the night before my show seeing how flat my stomach really was, how PROUD I was….

Factors that Damage Motivation:

1) Low Self-Confidence – If you don’t have realistic confidence in your abilities you won’t even start. Building a healthy and realistic self-image is necessary to take action. The best way to build your confidence is just to start. Confidence is often a natural side effect of making steps in your personal development.

2) Arrogance – This is the opposite of low self-confidence, and it too adversely effects motivation. Overconfidence can often result to some very painful failures when reality confronts your self-image. Arrogance often goes hand in hand with ignorance. If you start educating yourself, you will soon realize how much you need to learn, which can help reduce an inflated ego.

3) Past Failures – Failure can often damage motivation. The key to recover this motivation is to set yourself up for some successes. Remember to take steps to learn from your failures so they become a learning opportunity rather than a blow to your ego.

I don’t think I will EVER turn down the roads that brought me here today, ever again. I actually FULLY understand the reasons of my “failures” or my weaknesses and  I am finally in CONTROL, and I have never felt better.

I am staying positive.

I am staying true to MYSELF.

I am happy.

Besides getting down yesterday about a test (that I thought I for sure was going to ace), I overate (technically I didn’t but it was a lot of carbs) and though it was all clean food it shouldn’t matter, the fact that I did it NEEDS to be mentioned. I didn’t have cravings for shitty food, I just had craving for food. Maybe it had to do with the test and those results? Maybe I was bored?

Whatever the reasons may be, I need NOT to punish myself.

Am I normal? Am I the only one with these thoughts? Am I the only one that thinks about food ALL the time? Am I the only one that researches and googles fitness related articles ALL day?

Yes I know  I’m not, but if only people realized how much this has and does effect me. Fitness is my life.

A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE is now my life.

 

TALK ABOUT MOTIVATION!!!!!!!!!

Oh another rant eh?

830am Finished my protein shake (yes it is ALWAYS THE SAME MON-FRI LOL)

1030am and I’m fucking starving.
I am finishing up taking pictures for work and then I am going to head over to Chase.. Ugh got a late fee for my CC that I JUST got down to 22% interest lol.. SAME DAY PAY MY ASS!

then I will head to whole foods because I forgot my food again.. fucking idiot I am… maybe not an idiot but a straight up basket case.

1237pm Just got back from whole foods.. spent $15 exactly. 2 chicken breast, 2 Justin’s all natural almond butter, and a mix of edama carrots and asparagus. YUM!

 

then I left to marios (pizza joint) to get Ron and I a drink and this is the second time (once yesterday) that someone told me I had nice skin.. awe 🙂

5pm PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DRIVE! 😦 Snowflakes were HUGE today SUPER COOL! so I took the Charger home, sucky on gas but its great in the snow.

Got home around 6pm, got Marley out. Ate some “meatloaf, ” tuna and some broccoli OH AND some PB 😦 Probably shouldn’t of eaten the tuna (because my mom puts mayo) but it tasted GREAT. haha and now I write it in, shouldn’t of eaten the PB either lol.

Shoulders/Chest today

 

Started with Seated Shoulder Press (30lbs each arm)

3×8-10 reps

in-between front raises (20lb BB)

3×12 reps

The last 3 reps of each seated s. press got extremely hard and I had no spotter, so I did 3 reps (each arm) squat to shoulder press.

Moved onto Lying (chest) flyes (15lb each arm)

3×12 reps 

in between  lateral raises (10lbs each arm)

3x10reps

finished with cable machine shoulder press.. don’t know the weight they just have numbers, it was pretty heavy got about 8 reps 4 times.

I did 2 sets of planks :30 sec each time.

with 25 min STAIRMASTER.

And boy was I sweating. I felt my ass muscles burning and it felt great.

8:43pm Myofusion and PB2 (even though I shouldn’t of put the pb2 in there. I had enough fat today).

I am going to finish up editing this a bit, throw in some cool pictures :):) Nothing too exactly today.. Boss is getting nicer (I work at a body shop FULL OF DUDES THAT PMS MORE THEN EVERY FEMALE I KNOW COMBINED!).. but its a dope job and for the most part enjoy the people I work with.. sucks its as far as it is though :/ (about 45 min-60min on a bad day).. OTher then that I am pretty excited this week is almost over.. I love cuddling and knowing I have no schedule, no where to be, no clock to have to set, nothing. Ugh.. best feeling in the world. ❤

 

1115pm Just finished showering and made the chickpea snicker doodle blondies. and let me tell you the batter was AMAZING… they fell apart 😦 and I think I should of put raisins in the whole thing and not just half.. but overall they were great..

 

goodnight ❤

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Day 17 There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.

— Beverly Sills


Hard work, dedication, and the ability to stay positive through ups and the downs.  No shortcuts.

If you can imagine it, do it. You will never regret it.

745am I’m running late, because I stayed up a bit later then I would of liked too.. I’m throwing on any clothes that I think would look reasonable and that actually match (I’ve walked out with 2 different boots before, luckily both were black). While I was getting ready I realized that I felt good. My sweater fitted a little looser, and my thighs look like they are thinning out. I mean.. I would hope I see results considering its been 2 weeks.

HOWEVER! This is important to people weight training. PLEASE.. PLEASE DO NOT use the scale for weight loss progress. You will feel defeated EVERY TIME (especially people with disorders and OCD). Just because you weigh more on the scale doesn’t mean exercising and eating right isn’t doing anything. Muscle weighs more then fat. I promise, just keep going.

830am Finished my protein shake in the morning on my way to work.. I work 45 min away from home, so I have a lot of time to think. I usually am such a basket case that I can never had a finished thought, but I’m trying to understand weight loss, and why so many people refuse to change.

Is it because we don’t like change? Or we don’t like change when it comes to ourselves? Is it because food is just so DAMN good? No motivation? No reason too? Don’t care? Too lazy? Not enough time?

Well.. everyone does everything because of something =D

Smokers smoke cigs because they are addicted to nicotine.  Alcoholics drink alcohol because they are addicted to it. Anorexics don’t eat because they are afraid of the image starring back at them.. Bulimics puke because they want there cake and ….well you know.  Men eat whatever they want because they assume metabolism means fatty foods don’t have the same effect as they do for everyone else.

  1. Heart disease, cancer, stroke, diabetes doesn’t care if you have a fast metabolism and don’t gain weight from that double cheeseburger extra fry from Mcdonalds, everyday.
  2. Eating like shit only hurts you.
  3. Healthy eating doesn’t have to suck.
  4. STOP BEING LAZY!

Not enough time? Why use that excuse? I don’t give a rats ass what you do all damn day, if you have 24 hours to breathe, you have 24 hours to get your life back. I can understand to an EXTENT but I am gone for 10 hours a day, go to class for 2 and 1/2 hours, and work out everyday AND make my food for each meal from SCRATCH ALL NATURAL FOODS. soo….. what the fuck?

It’s fine though, I’m not here to preach, I am just trying to understand this ridiculous thought process. I just know more then half of the people out there don’t like how they look naked, but a small majority of those people will actually do something about it.

It’s like if they don’t see results in 3 days they don’t think anythings working.. Well my friend, it took more then 3 days to put it on didn’t it?
Exactly.

Am I the only one that thinks this is common sense?

Maybe it’s not, but hey that’s why I’m here right? To teach people how to live healthy.

I’m sorry. I guess it just bugs me. If you are going to complain about the way you look, or treat people with disrespect because YOU AREN’T HAPPY with yourself, do everyone a favor and cut it out. You can be happy too. I mean who wouldn’t want to love themselves?

Am I being ignorant here? Honestly? I know people can love themselves at any weight and as long as YOU ARE happy and healthy I think you can be whatever size your little heart pleases to be, but if you constantly fight an upward battle with yourself PLEASE ask for help. You have to want to change in order to accept the help, but any step towards a better you is a step worth taking.

“When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others.”

I have these quote hanging in my room and its so beautiful I smiled when it fit perfectly here.. And its true. I honestly cringe to think about all the hate in this world and how people are living day to day in such depression. I have been to the lowest lows, and thought things would never get better. Obviously I was wrong. I’m here today with a huge smile and such passion for life now it makes me giddy just thinking about how things have changed AND HOW THINGS CAN CHANGE FOR YOU TOO! You just have to believe that, and it’s the honest to God’s truth. I hope from reading my blog I can make you believe in yourself. I can’t make you change, but I can help with the understanding that you can do what you set your heart to do ❤

ANNNNNDDDDDDD that’s that. LOL.

941am & I am already starving. Awesome. I had 1/4 of a coconut cream pie Lara Bar when I was walking in and now I’m drinking tea till 10am, when I have to take a retarded class to set shit up for work. Then I have to study Chapter 8 in between breaks today because I don’t actually think I know anything about chapter 8. Maybe I’ll get lucky on the multiple choice 😉

Because I am online ALL the time during work, I found a bad ass recipe for a RAW BROWNIE w/ 5 ingredients. Fucking AWESOME.

The Raw Brownie
Ingredients:
2 cups whole walnuts
2 ½ cups Medjool dates, pitted
1 cup raw cacao
1 cup raw unsalted almonds, roughly chopped
¼ tsp. sea salt

Directions:
1. Place walnuts in food processor and blend on high until the nuts are finely ground.
2. Add the cacao and salt. Pulse to combine.
3. Add the dates one at a time through the feed tube of the food processor while it is running. What you should end up with is a mix that appears rather like cake crumbs, but that when pressed, will easily stick together (if the mixture does not hold together well, add more dates).
4. In a large bowl (or the pan you plan on putting the brownies in), combine the walnut-cacao mix with the chopped almonds. Press into a lined cake pan or mold. Place in freezer or fridge until ready to serve (it is also easier to cut these when they are very cold). Store in an airtight container.

My New Roots

I can NOT wait to try this ❤

2pm I FINALLY ATE! I was on a conference call for 2 hours, trying to set these credit card terminals up. One would work the other wouldn’t.. I then had to do one 4 times over entering ZD&YQ7&YF% lol over and over, pressing enter.. fuck.. then I had to go pick up a car 30 min away.. then go to my bank to pull money out (dont know where the fuck my debit cards are again…..), then headed to whole foods. LOL. I am so bad :/

Blackened Chicken Breast and Zucchini AND half of a lara bar (:)

Holy shit still haven’t studied.

Did I mention I work next to a huge bread factory?

Do you know how good fresh bread smells?

F
M
L

It’s 9:22pm. I wasn’t even going to finish this blog tonight because I am so unhappy.

  1. I totally failed my test
  2. I exceeded my calorie intact

Fuck #1 I don’t even care. It was bogus but what the fuck with #2 really????

I ate myself retarded in peanut butter and had some tuna then later I went down to eat cranberries. I just didn’t want to stop.  WAIT OMG! AND I HAD SWEET POTATOES TOO! It wasn’t really anything it was more so I was bored, and maybe SLIGHTLY FUCKING PISSED. I’m not completely upset where I’d ruin everything I worked for but I am not happy with myself AND I came home early enough to work out and I didn’t.

So I am going to bed, otherwise I will just keep eating. 😦

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