Pointless late night post.

So it’s 10:42pm on Saturday night. I don’t remember (nor have I put much work into finding out) what time I fell asleep at…. but it sure as hell wasn’t just a catnap like I told him. Yes I will refer to him as him as if you know who he is. Just go along with it. Names have to be withheld. Too many creeps.
 
So yeah. I was going to get chipotle but I am so glad I passed out. I can only imagine how bloated I would of felt. Dude. I jiggle again. I am probably 3 solid months worth of training. LOL.. yes I just measured my weight loss by how quickly it can be lost. Ugh. This time a scale may be needed. That and I will need to start writing my shit down. When it all comes down to it yes weight loss is a science. Pretty much, calories in vs calories out. That is the EASIEST (quickest, simplest ext ext) way of explaining HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT. If you know and understand that.. like Albert Einstein once said..

aka

Burn more calories (via exercise/movement) then you consume (ingest = eat).
..& I think writing it all down and literally calculating all my macronutrients, will be fool proof. 😉
 
I have always been really weird with my work outs though. For the most part I am pretty much on with my reps and sets when I write them down in the work out part of the blog. However there are some times when I do do more one set or I may do 2 less the next set. But let it be known that I 85-90% always go to FAILURE. I try and push myself, and to continous go till my comfort zone. Yes this may not be correct in any way shape or form but I have been pushed to anxiety attacks over rep numbers, not being able to get a higher weight then last week, even looking in the mirror has sent me home. Even worse? I have cried at the incline leg press before.. lol. Fucked up.
 
Anyways I didn’t mean to get into that.. but I just remembered the common questions I have been recently asked.
Lets move on to the real reason I even wanted to randomly start blogging at 11 at night.
I hate myself right now. Yes hate is a strong word and I don’t feel like pressing the delete button or moving my mouse and rewriting the sentence (so yes I will just continue to write even more lol therefore taking up more time when I really could of just rewrote the sentence and now I can’t stop writing).. haha.. I am jiggling literally as the laptop rests upon my legs (think laying in bed, lap top on quads on a 45 degree angle) gosh Im retarded. okay but literally i am jiggling. and before when I was downstairs I realized how soft I am lol. FUCK.
 
Listen I have NOT been at the gym in about 2 weeks. Not to mention I have not given A FUCK what has gone in my mouth recently…………. lol
 
but really its sad. I am so uncomfortable these days and TODAY I got my period = (besides TMI) MAJOR BLOAT + MAJOR MENS. PAINS = 😦
 
Everything sucks. I haven’t started this month off right but I promise as you are reading this, whoever and ALL who you are, I  promise tomorrow will be different. I suppose not for anyone else but myself but I want to be held accountable. Him and I set a short term goal of 4 weeks (so until July 4) to do a few things differently for ourselves and I really want to hold true to that. I really think we can ALL do what we put our minds too..but I think sometimes people don’t always see the long term goal or reward and just give up for the “time being”.. but overall you will change things about you that you want to change when your ready. No one should be faulted for that. Its been 6 months since I quit smoking cigarettes and that was a personal choice. I should have even weeks ago but I secretly liked to smoke :/
Honeslty I don’t even feel that much different, or even the added benefits lol but I think I soley based my choice to quit that it simply wasn’t healthy. And deep down thats a huge personal goal of mine. I know a lot of things I still do aren’t, but I want to change that. So, be the change you wish to see in the world, right?
Easier said then done.
 
Maybe..:)
 
I’m excited for tomorrows blog btw.
 
Food prep and my first (of many) leg work outs back from my “fat staycation”. I am going to be so fucking sore this week its going to suck. And now after all that zombie bullshit I am a little weary on taking my salt bathes after work outs. Fuck that shit. UNREAL.
 
I cannot stay focused for the life of me.
Yeah.. I don’t know if this blog had a point or not.
So hopefully I already made one because I just got tired again…
 

..So goodnight ❤

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