A broken heart feels like the loss of a loved one.

So I think I should start off by saying how my “ex” is actually a genuinely sweet and caring guy. He would give the shirt on his back for just about anyone no questions asked. I can’t defend what he did because I do think it was wrong, but the last thing I want to do is take away how great of a human being he really is. With that being said I think its time to go a little more into detail about our relationship since its already out in the open..

I work at a high end body shop with him, where he is underpaid and taken advantage of. I have never seen such a hard worker EVER in my life. The amount of work ethic this man has in his body is incredible, and it hurts my heart to see him try so hard yet never get the recognition he deserves. This could put a lot of stress onto someone considering he loves what he does. Not to mention having to see me everyday.

Insert how we fell in love 🙂

I wasn’t looking for anything. I actually worked there for about 8 months prior to him starting so I had already been accustomed to how this shop works. He became the new guy, but again didn’t think anything of it. I still don’t even remember ever thinking he was cute or wanting to talk to him or any of that. I just went about my day 9-5 like every other day. Apparently he had just gotten out of a 5 year relationship two months prior, which I could of cared less about at the time. We eventually started being friendly, as in me saying “you better be nice to me or I’ll make your life a living hell”.. oh.. (sarcastically said with a smirk but isn’t that just sweet). 🙂 However, we started hanging out. Nothing sexually nothing out of the ordinary. Just two people hanging out.

Months later it turned into deep feelings for each other. Deep feelings. Feelings I haven’t felt in forever, and if I did once feel them they were nothing like the ones I was feeling with him. I felt free happy and alive. It was incredible.

We both have made mistakes. We both are far from perfect, but baby I truly believe we are perfect for each other. You get me, I get you. You make me smile, I make you blush :). The happiness you bring into my life is far beyond anything I could ever imagine. I understand the pain you are going thru and I understand the stress that is fulfilling your life, but please don’t push me away. I am here for you. I would give up the world for you to feel like you are okay.

I sit here and write, tears filling my eyes like they are accustomed too and it brings back the pain in my heart. You don’t forget love, you don’t give up on love. You keep going, you keep trying. I know I have said that I was done and that we needed to be over but what we are going through is NOTHING.. it’s all wasted effort. You fucked up.. I want to give you another chance.. I want to give US another chance. I truly believe in us, and I will continue to prove that each and every day.

..Remember yesterday how I told you this break up was actually pretty easy considering how I felt about you? That ride home I cried. It wouldn’t stop. I was crying because I have to pretend that I’m not madly in love with you. I got home did my business and my mom asked me about you. I told her the jest of it but nothing into detail, till she asked again… so I read her what you wrote to me. That long paragraph took me 3 attempts to read it. I felt like I was experiencing a death of someone and I was reading old text messages. It hurt that bad.

I want you to know at the end of this, I won’t give up on you unless giving up is the only option. You have a lot to figure out, but I didn’t think whether or not you were in love was one of them. I want you in my life. Your eyes and smile could light up anyone’s life, and when 11:11 strikes I’ll be wishing its my life you’re lighting up.

Do what you have to do, I can’t say anything more. I shouldn’t have too. I shouldn’t have to remind you how we were together or how great we are. I just want you to know that I am here for you and will be as long as it doesn’t pain me to do so. I love you Mike.

Advertisements
Tagged

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: