Monthly Archives: October 2012

I don’t starve. Instead, I obsessively exercise. However, she explains the b.m in real talk.

Minnesota Trip!

Monday morning: love/hate relationship.

Okay, I can’t really say that I hate Mondays because I tend to binge less come the work week but other than that, Mondays can suck it. Especially because all I want to do is curl up back in my warm bed and pretend that I don’t have to be here till 5pm. Sit in traffic for a total of 90 minutes. Walk Marley till she calms downs all the while trying to stay awake (I am ALWAYS tired), till I get back in my car for an hr and 1/2 work out.

Yes, I know.. my bed shall wait.

Back to Monday, today, beginning of the work week and my 43298056 start to my operation getfit.

My motivation is here though, I feel it. Today I will be one step closer to inner happiness. This monday marks an end to an awesome weekend, but the start to something fabulous. The official start to me becoming happy and healthy 🙂

me @ work all gay like

Here are a few pictures of this weekend. The boyfriend and I took a road trip to MN to visit my sister at school. We left the house around 8pm, a straight shot up 94 which was nice. We hit a few construction zones and a detour but clocked in at the parking garage around 2:30am. As soon as we got into MN and called Hayley to say we were close we had a road block up an entire street. Over 30 squad cars lined the block. Come to find out that there was a bar shooting, good shit. My little sister lives in the ghetto. NBD.

The total trip

Leaving work

Gas Station Photo Op

Bar Shooting

We unpacked and got settled in and was welcomed by a drunk girl passed out on her couch. Oh college life haha. I immediately put my things down and headed to the bathroom. I pull my pants down about 1/2 way and hear a thump. That thump was my iphone falling into the toilet. Yeah, 3am tired as fuck and my iphone falls into the toilet the minute I get into her apartment. Unfuckingreal. I really had to go, so I called my sister into the bathroom asking if she had any rice. Luckily her roommates did so she threw my phone in the box. I pouted for a little while but was in bed no longer than an hour later.

We woke up around noon. My sister had already left so her roommate asked if we wanted her to show us where the shuttle was. We got ready and followed her to the shuttle which was extremely close. We put our things in our car and got the last 2 seats on the shuttle. About 5 minutes later we got dropped off by the stadium. Wasn’t expecting all the tailgaters and vendors out so it was exciting. We met up with my sister but went in by ourselves so we got food while we waited for her to be let in (student council thing).


Game was actually pretty damn good. I don’t know the final score because we left a little after the 4th quarter started, but MN scored at least 4 touch downs. It was cute seeing my sister all school spirited and shit 🙂 It was nice to see her in general really.

The 3 of us..

A screen shot of us

After the game we went to look for food. BBW had a 45 minute wait so we just walked to her apartment. It wasn’t that far but it was a little chilly outside. She showed us a little of her campus which was pretty nice. Though we did walk a few blocks only to see a shit ton of squad cars again, 2 of which had people in the back. lol.. again.. no big deal.

Got to her apartment, babe sipped on some homemade apple cider alcohol out of an empty salsa jar. Figured out a place to eat and was on our way. We decided to hit up Mall of America because babe has never been. We walked around, he won me a stuff animal I kicked his ass in Big Buck Hunter and then ate at Buffalo Wild Wings.

We dropped my sister off and drove 15 minutes to check into our hotel. We got there around 630pm and didn’t leave haha. My sister invited us to some costume party at the frat houses but I didn’t bring anything acceptable to wear and I obviously hate going out in public as it is. So, we ordered room service and passed out. We did however get up early enough to go to breakfast in the lobby, but then got lazy for a few more hours before checking out around 1230pm. We met back up with my sister, brought her lunch but only stayed for a hug and kiss goodbye.

Room Service at it’s finest 🙂

After what seemed like forever we found a Starbucks. He got his fix and we were on the way. I passed out because well that’s what I do best. We took a detour and stopped at his house in WI to pick up his dog Deuce. Went through the Wisconsin Dells which I enjoyed, passed out for a few more hours and got to his house around 9. I didn’t stay for long, transferred my belongings and was home around 10. Said hello to the madre, went upstairs with Marley and didn’t leave till I had to wake up around 7:45 this morning. 🙂

What another great weekend I had. I love spending time with good people and not worrying about my day to day struggles.

Monday Morning. An end and a beginning all in one.

Now it’s time to get started..

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Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.

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Late weekend post.

I could not of asked for a better weekend.

That’s all I should write. Words literally couldn’t describe the weekend I had. Or maybe I wouldn’t be able to describe it well enough lol. Regardless it was amazing.

The boyfriend picked me up around 8pm and we headed to Wisconsin. Trip wasn’t that bad and after a stop at Walmart we made it there around midnight or so. We unpacked the groceries and made a few cocktails. We ended up taking a few shots and spent the next few hours talking. Talking about life and choices to come. It was really nice.. too bad I had to end it with random tears down my face.


Groceries for us 2

We went outside for a smoke and star watched for a little bit. It was so peaceful, looking up and it being clear as day. The stars were shining so bright. A burn mark and shooting star later we went inside so he made me a pb and j (mine with wheat bread. obviously. so obvious he got his own white loaf at the store lol).. and passed out around 6am.

We woke up around noon. I cooked him and I some breakfast while he stayed in bed for a little while longer. After breakfast we packed up and got the boat set. Around 2 pm we were out in the water. We spent 4 or so hours fishing, drinking cocktails, enjoying life. It was a little cold but we were super prepared, and so I sat my happy ass down with another sweater. We stayed till it got dark, and loaded back up.

baby with my fishyyyyy

I beat him 13-8 🙂

After we got home, his dad came back with us to switch cars (we took a Camry there.. thanks enterprise) and needed a tow hitch so we borrowed his car. He fixed our grill and we all date dinner together. It was nice.. minus the whole language barrier but I just like being in good company. We marinated chicken breasts and steaks and had onion stuffed potatoes wrapped in bacon (my babe is the greatest) and a few polish sausages. We ate, cleaned up a bit both house and ourselves and headed to the casino. Went straight for the bar, grabbed a vodka tonic and sat down at the computerized roulette table (my favorite). We both put down $20. A few turns or so 5 guys sat down and filled the table completely. Now I actually liked being the only two people there, and liked it so much more when I realized these tools were rude as fuck. Regardless, they all threw down $200.. I sat next to a guy and all he was betting was $5 or $10.. so when he hit he hit big. Fuck.. I am so competitive and then you throw money on the table and it escalates lol. Baby lost all his and I left when I hit $40.. now that I think about it I guess I made up for his loss. Until we sat down at the penny slots and I literally got pissed after I lost $3. Dumbest machine ever. So I asked if we could play again before we left. Lol.. he just wanted to leave, I wanted to win some money. He agreed (like the best bf he is) and we put down $25 more. By that time the guy to my right was up 1,200. Yeah. $1,200. I saw his winnings at the bottom of the screen and nearly shit myself. I ended up losing all $25 but baby got $50 back. So we were all straight. We left immediately after and went to stop by boner again. Probably the classiest strip club I have ever been too (probably because I have only been to one. lol). We had a vodka tonic and enjoyed each others companies. It was just one of those nights lol..

bf making dindin

We headed back home around 2 or so realized we ran out of alcohol. I forget what we started drinking but I do remember my pb&j tasted great.

but then I think I passed out.. Probably because I love sleeping.

We wake up this time around 11am. Babe is a complete bed hog and his dog didn’t make it any better. lol so I did what I could and woke up to his dad knocking on the door. We got up and I made breakfast again. Scrambled eggs with sausage and a left over bacon wrapped potato. It was awesome.

We grab our shit and head to the lake. It was pretty nice out so I dealt with my north face. We cast for a few hours, again so peaceful. I caught more fish again, but only 2 keepers. I was happy with my fish though. I even touched one.


my keeper!

my sexy boy

A few sober hours later we packed up so we could get a start to our drive home. We packed up, cleaned up, made brownies and headed home.

Everything was perfect.

Driving home I reflected on a lot. this weekend has made me really enjoy my life. Right now, it is everything I could ask for. I am still going through a lot but having the right people in my life has made it so much better. I spent all weekend with the love of my life, doing things we love doing, in a peaceful happy place. Spending all that time with him, I have realized how truly in love I am with him. He completes me, nothing else I can say.

Alright I am stopping now because I swear I could write a novel of my feelings for him. Just ask him how many times he catches me starring.. lol…..


ha.. just a great weekend to remember while sitting here Wednesday morning 🙂

Already planned a back workout with Ashley tonight at 8. Going to do a few upper body exercises abs then finish with an hour of cardio. Cardio goes by so much easier/faster when you have someone with you. Going to focus today and tomorrow because this weekend will be a clusterfuck. The boyfriend and I are visiting my sister in MN at school. We have a football game and theme park already planned but I think the experience itself will be exciting. A mini road trip with the love of my life, and him meeting my sister for the first time 🙂 I have never done something like this before and couldn’t be happier that everything in my life at the moment is all falling into place.

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just a little update..

I have been waiting to write for the last couple days now.. Been a little busy at work with one employee banging his back up pretty bad. For the first day — seemed to be fine. I did as much as I could to make sure everything went smoothly but it wasn’t till the second day that —- was gone that shit started to head south. — ‘motherfucked’ for a while and the day slowly moved along. By lunch, everything seemed to cool off a bit. So with having to be alert 24/7 I haven’t been able to sit down and just write.

A little life update, kind of a big deal.. got reconnected with my old best friend about 2 weeks ago. Met up and have been working out together ever since. Things literally seemed to have picked up EXACTLY where they had left off. It’s pretty awesome. She is actually a huge reason that I am able to say that I FINALLY got my mojo back 🙂 Have been actively working out and eating good and super excited about it. I feel as if this all just needed to happen and everything did, all at the right time.

Even though I am not there yet, it makes it so much easier going through this journey with a support team.. with good people. That is what I have to be thankful for, the people in my life. My old but totally new best friend, my boyfriend, my mother, and now my sister. Life is slowly, but surely getting better.

I am getting better 🙂

Ashley and I at her Mothers surprise 50th bday party!

Making Dashing Dishes S. Potato Apple Fritters

Lunch yesterday..

Another lunch @ work!

A regular potato with bacon bits AND GREEK YOGURT!!

Banana Split protein shake this morning ❤

First picture is of Ashley and I last weekend. She planned her mothers 50th birthday party and it went extremely well.  Super proud of her 🙂

The next couple of pictures are of the recent foods I have been eating. I tried to make Dashing Dishes Sweet Potato Apple Fritters. They weren’t bad but I think I need to try a different apple. I used honey crisp which is my favorite to eat but was a little dense for this. The next picture is of a chicken breast and Brussels Sprouts the boyfriend bought me for lunch. I had kept the carbs out because I had eaten 6 mini Charleston chews the night before (ALL BECAUSE MY BABY DIDN’T TAKE THEM WITH HIM!! haha).. The pasta in the next picture is brown rice pasta. I also made meatballs to go along with it. Basically just ground beef onions cheese and a smokey mesquite seasoning. The picture after that is of two nights ago’s dinner with the boo. We grilled some chicken and skirt steak with some asparagus. We enjoyed regular potatoes and was definitely a treat. I haven’t had a potato outside from being a sweet one, so this was awesome. To make it even better I added bacon bits and guess what? Greek Yogurt. It was amazing. I even had the fam try it and they were even impressed. Last picture is of today’s protein shake. I call it a banana split because of the bananas strawberries and chocolate protein. I added some oatmeal and flax seed as well. It’s literally one of my favorite flavor shakes.

So basically I am trying to consume all WHOLE foods. I did eat a couple pieces of fiber toast a day or two ago but besides the list of ingredients, the macros weren’t bad at all. With the good diet, I have been doing cardio for at least 60 minutes 5 days a week. I just started lifting again after doing a week straight of cardio. It just helped me ween back into everything, as does having a cardio buddy which helps to stay sane on those machines for so long haha

Leaving for Wisconsin after work tonight.  Going to have to get creative with the working out (because you know.. fishing is so strenuous..haha and I suck at running)… but I WILL be on top of my consumption of food.  This is a HUGE deal for me because I know Ill be drinking. But I will also just enjoy the time I have with the boyfriend. Not beating myself up anymore then I already have.

Loving Living Laughing, that is all 🙂

… oh and cuddling the fuck out of my little girl.

Leaving with a recipe from Dashing Dish. It isn’t private so I am allowed to share this recipe.. a simple but oh so fricken healthy version of apple crisp. Don’t mind if I do.


2 Medium apples of choice, cut into small cubes, (peeled if desired)
5 pkts or 1/4 tsp Stevia or 2 tbs sweetener of choice
1 tbs Low sugar maple syrup, honey, or agave nectar
1/2 tsp Cinnamon
1/4 tsp Pumpkin pie or apple pie spice
Pinch Salt
1/2 cup Old fashioned oats (gluten free if sensitive)
1/4 cup Oat flour (oats ground in blender or food processor)
1/2 tsp Cinnamon
1/8 tsp Salt
1/4 cup Packed brown sugar or sucanat 1
2 tbs Cold butter (I used Light Smart Balance)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Spray two individual ramekins with cooking spray (or a small baking dish or pie pan).

In a medium bowl, mix together the apples with the syrup, stevia, and spices.

Meanwhile, in a small bowl stir together the topping ingredients until crumbly.


Place apples in baking dish(s) and sprinkle the crumble over apples. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until the topping is golden brown.  Serve warm with low fat whipped cream if desired!

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Everything in my life that feels like I’m fighting an upward battle, is completely preventable (and 100% my fault).

Yet I have done absolutely nothing to change this sudden outlook on life.

That’s what I wrote and emailed myself today at 9:47am.

I then held off a bit before I even logged onto my WordPress account, only because I have been quite the debbie downer and my posts really haven’t been uplifting or motivational.. though I can’t really apologize..this is what I am going through and as much as I’d like to pretend I’m someone I’m not, or living the life people only dream about, I can’t. That would get me no where and sure as fuck no closer to finding out who this little girl really is.

Anyways so I re RE thought about just posting those beginning 2 sentences, but as I logged into my blog, the first image I see is this one:

..and now I have nothing left to say.

CCK’s chocolate PB cake.

I know I suck at life but with getting sick and getting cited for public intoxication, I’ve been quite the busy bee. Will update later. I pinky promise.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Mug Cake


Adapted from this recipe.

    • 1 tablespoon plus 2 tsp cocoa powder (8g)
    • 3 tablespoons powdered peanut butter (PB2 or Betty Lou’s) (For substitutions, see “nutrition facts” link below) (18g)
    • scant 1/16 tsp salt
    • 1 tsp xylitol or sugar (omit if you like bitter chocolate cake) (4g)
    • 1/4 tsp baking powder
    • 1 stevia packet or 1 more tablespoon sugar
    • 2 tsp coconut or veg oil, or mashed banana or applesauce (I personally don’t like the fat-free option and recommend the oil, but I’m adding the option because I know many of you don’t mind the taste/texture of the lower-fat version.) (8g)
    • 3 tablespoons milk of choice (45g)
    • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

Combine dry ingredients and mix very, very well. Add liquid, stir, then transfer to a little dish, 1-cup ramekin, or even a coffee mug. If using the microwave: cook 1 minute 25 seconds (time may vary, depending on your microwave’s wattage). If you don’t want to eat it straight out of the dish, be sure to spray your dish first (and then wait for the cake to cool before trying to remove it). You can cook this in an oven if you prefer, but you’ll have to experiment to find the correct amount of time.


Chocolate Covered Katie.

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