Got off work early, so what better to do than to write. I literally have 20420 notes saved in my phone, emails saved via the computer, of blogs or “passages” I have written, yet never published. I get in these so called moods of mine and then go back later and decided to 86* the whole thing (isn’t that what they save in restaurants? lol 86 the lettuce ext? lol..nvm).. I decided to nix the whole thing altogether. I don’t know what my problem is, but it is what it is.
The reason I even brought that up is because I write sometimes, and other times I think about writing and after yesterday I am surprised I am just now getting to it. Though it is only 12:04pm the day after, what happened yesterday has really opened my eyes to the bigger picture. I met with my teacher about this time yesterday. I didn’t even know where to begin so I just started babbling. Now mind you, this is the teacher who teaches the class I am head over heels in love with. To make things even better hes super easy to talk too, COACHES you through things all the while getting to…. yes, the bigger picture. He “teachers” or “professes” this class, but by coaching ,which in the end is what we are learning to do! He did it again with the meeting we had one on one. Had me coming up with ideas yet this motivation from being sorta praised, was an instant change in self efficacy (something we are learning in class. self efficacy is the measures of ones own ability to complete tasks and reach goals. which if you think about it will increase self esteem later down the road). Good things can come of change, Ill telling you. We all just have to step out of our comforts zones. What is really the worst that can happen? I am not going to list of e v e r y possible out, I mean you have 1,00 and 1 ways to die on T.V don’t you?
Anyways, my main concern of seeing him was to talk about the paper that is due in LESS THAN 4 WEEKS! holy shit. I get so nervous. I love to write.. or at least think that I have a semi interesting relationship with it, but I always stress out. Least I know now that I have a deadline. Having a deadline is a double edge sword. It could work in your favor in regards to motivation, but if not met or not reached could result in self esteem/efficacy plummeting and reaching and even lower level than when started with. So keep that in mind, and how that’s possible is to set “behavioral” goals. In my instant, I need to space all this information out (chapters being due, tests every week, and a paper due in 4 weeks), and not leave it till the end. I wish I could retake this class, with the same teacher and everything just so I know and understand the information. lol. I wonder if they’ll let me. I mean its just more practice. Instead of this 8 week class, Ill just take it again to make up for the class being rushed. lol.
Back to what I was trying to get at before I went off in yet another direction. As you can see, I like using my “coaching abilities” in every day life, including my own. LOL.
So we continued talking for about 45 minutes, from start to finish he got everything out of me that he needed to know. My work background, dedication, work ethic and ideas and it was almost pro founding for me. I know deep down I have my “fans” boyfriend, family (my supporters), but having an outside source, who has only met me 3 other times (during class), talk to me about BIG THINGS, it had me smiling out of control. I don’t smile that often (just because Idk don’t ask me why), but here I couldn’t help it. To be apart of something that could possibly change this industry, has my leg hairs growing.
I don’t even want to write anything more. I just want to leave it at that because that was the “ah-ha” moment. The HOLYSHIT moment, if you will..
For someone who is already that involved and successful at something that you are looking to become/achieve, say no one has the motivation or drive like I do may just be a masterful way of coaching someone to be ones best self, but let me tell you, it worked.
I left that meeting smiling ear to effing ear. I was so excited I called my mom a couple times, and texted my bf super happy that it went well. Talked to him about it on the phone a little later and I could tell that he was proud. Its nice to hear the words, but its better to feel the meaning behind them 🙂 I never had something that I was good at, or like really really good at. I WISH I was just a flat out genius, thatd be nice. But Id take being able to draw, or sing! yea I REALLY wish I could sing. Like my babe is SUPER amazing at cars and now has a business backing his reputation up and even adding to it. I am super proud of him (eventhoughidontshowitandimsorrybabeiloveyouyouknowiamijustwellyouknowwhy). Brainstorming this idea that I could hit the ground running with makes me feel, I guess you could say worthy. I am really having a hard time finding a word that I think describes it best. I feel like I have been given a chance. I don’t know. I will come back to this later.
Later that day work came and went and I was back to driving to the south lake campus for class. I didn’t do so well on this test. Sure as hell not like before where I got a 100 freaking %. But I mean it was the first test so maybe he wanted it to be easy so we don’t drop the class. 😦 fail. lol. No I am just kidding. It is because I didn’t study, that well at least. I have been leaving everything for later and that is not cool. I think that just because I have a 4 hour break that I am going to spend that 4 hours reading and note taking. Are you kidding me, have you read my posts? how ADD can one person be?
Now that was as exciting as my night got. I came home around 10pm and was in bed no later than midnight. I woke up a little late, but it didn’t matter my boss wasn’t even there yet. So as I am sitting there, a lady had a couple questions regarding the seat adjustment on the curl machine. After talking to her for a few minutes, I knew I needed to sit down with her. After we started talking, I had HER practically walking us back to my desk. from there we talked mainly about what she has been doing, hasn’t been doing and what her goals are. The conversation could of lasted a whole lot longer but because I wanted to show her a little around the machines, we had to hold off. I did however, schedule her after the weekend to come back for a work out and for yet another chance to talk. I want to take her and shake her and have her not remember anything she was previously told before. Lol. I really find this job to be helpful in a huge stepping stone to what I ultimately want to do. Although this is more business like and stressful in that sense, but its allowing me to help these people from the ground up.
I considered the passed few days to be good days :). Making progress everyday is key. No matter how big, or small any progress is better than no progress.
Really need to spice this blog up with some pictures or recipes of some amazing shit. I promise it wont be this boring forever!