A lot of things are happening and seems to me that the more effort I put in, the greater the outcome. How funny that its common sense, yet until I felt like I hit rock bottom, has it really opened my eyes..
My promotion at work was accepted and it will start July 1st, hopefully making a little more money than I currently am. Considering, I am busting my ass and still living paycheck to paycheck. I know it’s not forever, but damn does each day feel like it. It’s really hard sometimes and recently has been some of the hardest. Even contemplating getting a second job, or leaving training completely till I can keep my head above water. Obviously that isn’t what I want to do but sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in order for everything else to fall into place. The last thing I want to do is go spend a couple of months serving and waiting tables but it has crossed my mind more than once. We will see, praying that things work out for the best.
I do have a business proposition that came about a few days ago. Someone willing to invest in what I have to offer. The hard thing? I don’t know what I have to offer.
I get so overwhelmed with things that they end up sitting on the back burner. Out of sight, out of mind. This isn’t and hasn’t been the best approach, yet I can;t seem to calm the anxiety I get from over thinking just about every damn thing. All I know is that I need to seriously put time and effort into focusing on what I want to achieve than just hoping one day I get some lucky break. No one is going to do this for me. I need to get my head out of my ass and put these dreams into sight, into true opportunities. It is right in front of me and I need to hold on for dear life.
Other than the normal life rollercoaster, my work outs/progress have been really taking my mind off everything. Instead of worrying how much money I have left till next paycheck, I am thinking about how much weight I want to progress up too, how sore my muscles are, how good I feel. Stressing my body, not my mind. Have been having super awesome workouts thanks to H @ the gym. Still learning new techniques and the proper form when lifting heavy and using it to my full potential.
It’s amazing to see what the body can achieve by just believing that it can be done. Now I just need to have that mind-set when discussing my future and what it holds. I can do it. Plain and simple. Whatever task is in front of me, I want to concur it. I beat myself up all the time, whether it’s not being able to finish a full set or thinking I have no potential in well, anything. It gets me down no doubt, but I will overcome these obstacles I place on myself. I will achieve greatness one way or another.
Here is a progress picture from this morning. The dude and I went to BWW after a late night fishing session. I caught probably 5 little guys, see:
..but ended up getting attacked by mosquitos so my pansy ass wanted to wait in the car. He ended up not caring so we left and grabbed a bite to eat. Wasn’t a horrible night, I got upset over something stupid but chose not to talk about it because I need to realize I can handle this shit on my own. It’s like breaking a bad habit. I WILL get there and hopefully it will be another piece glued back towards our trust…
I got 2 whole wheat wraps with ranch on the side but also opted for 5 boneless wings in BBQ (they were .60!!!) lol.. I didn’t care either way, I haven’t had a cheat meal in the longest time so there’s my validation. Not to mention the next day I would have a KILLER leg work out, burning over 1200 calories. Yes, 1200!! Still barely doing any cardio. Maybe about an hour a week. Yes, I could do more but I don’t think I will just yet. I know I want to be super lean but I need to figure out my body first. It’s a science and it’s almost too easy that it becomes difficult at times. But its nice when you have other people supporting you and going through the same shit. Makes it feel..less bad.. and painful.. lol. No it doesn’t actually. My body is so sore I can only imagine what tomorrow is going to feel like.
Work out consisted of:
Squats- couple sets of 125 ( I believe.. isn’t the bar 35? 25? fuck. But 2 (45) plates) Leg Press– couple sets of 270
Leg Ext- the chica and I did about 60 for 12 reps. Little did we know that was too little, so we had to do another set or 2 of 120lbs LMAO!
w/ Body weight Lunges– 100 total
I finished with 3 sets of box squats of a little more than 125. I can’t remember though.
Didn’t have enough time, but needed to do a little more hamstring work but almost a good thing I didn’t because my legs (excuse me, ENTIRE BODY) was achey.. AKA GAME OVER!!!!!!! ughhh ;P
(I also had extra chicken in my car because there wasn’t enough protein in one of those to even be beneficial lol). I also had an additional 40g of carbs via another piece of pita bread and a couple oz of gatorade.
..Though, decided to do a spin class with a couple of my girl clients tomorrow morning. It is such a great work out if you push yourself. You have the potential to burn 800 to over 1000 calories. Not to mention, is a great way to increase your endurance. However, my legs my lanta. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to do it tomorrow 🙂
Still eating quite a bit. Again, hopefully I will put more time into writing my food log down but in a couple of weeks I will be calorie counting so it;ll make it easier to just copy and paste. And yes you heard that right, calorie counting. Now I RARELY do this and practically tell my clients not to (for multiple reasons).. I think it becomes tedious, repetitive at times but more so overwhelming. Other than that, I think if you are consistently working out and eating the right foods, that you shouldn’t worry about how many calories you’re consuming unless 1. you AREN’T eating enough (VERY common), 2. you AREN’T losing weight/inches (the scale should NOT be your idea of a measurement of progress!!!!) 3. competing. Other than that, say NO to diets and start living a healthy lifestyle. If you aren’t being active and don’t care what you eat, weight gain is almost inevitable.. Because in the end, it is about calories in vs calories out. But in no way do I want people to start weighing and measuring food and being meticulous about it because it almost does more harm than good. Yes I will have people disagreeing with me but you also haven’t suffered multiple eating disorders and I am telling you, once you start getting carried away it no longer becomes healthy.
Here is a WHOLE WHEAT Pita (with only 4 ingredients!!!!!!!!!!!) toasted, with an ALL NATURAL PEANUT BUTTER (only ingredients are Peanuts and salt I believe), mixed with Myofusions Chocolate protein powder. Tasted like nutella (no lie).
Any who.. I am going to relax and watch a movie. I’m going to keep stretching and possibly do a little core work (since I haven’t done anything in about a week smh..).. Other than that, tonight is a well deserved rest night ;P