Well. I’m sure you are all aware that I haven’t written in days weeks.. possibly even months. I don’t even know at this point. things got super hectic, and kind of still are..
I’m going thru this whole thing at work and its slowly draining me. the amount of time and effort I am putting into this job, I should be well off ($$ wise).. but still just skating by paycheck to paycheck. I m seeing an average of 12, 22 being the highest amount, of people every day for training. 2 times a week I am up at 430am (was once, 3 x a week), back home for 2-3 hours then back in the gym from 12-930. This last week however, I have been training every day. So on top of training myself before everyone else (which I don’t know is a good thing because I am always exhausted), I am practically in the gym more than I am home. At one point it took a huge toll on me. I stopped working out and as a result ate like shit (or.. did I start eating like shit in which turned to an absent of those workouts?? hmmmm) and more importantly, felt like shit about myself (and in general, headaches. massive bell aches. Thank you acid reflux).
But just like a roller coaster with its lows, I have been slowly reaching one of those highs. Life has seemed to be turning for the better and I am obviously taking it for granted. I mean, I should right? Appreciate whats right in front of me? The “right now”?? Anyways.. Its sunday, I found a time to write. I actually have been wanting to write earlier but felt that I would feel pressured (like I always do actually). You know I never reread what I wrote? I only spell check it. I get so overwhelmed that I could write for hours, proofread, then select all delete that shit like nothing ever happen.
So, instead, I write and say it is what it is and post it. I don’t know. I feel like until I find a smooth transition into a nice blog (like I have imagined) Ill continue to write like there was no delete button…
I actually wrote down what I wanted to cover in this post.. weird. I have never done that before. I just wanted to make sure I mentioned a few things… What I have learned in the last couple weeks, where I want to see myself.. things like that.. The list kind of goes like this (which is actually written on a poster for the 2013 midwest ironman lol).
Do whatever makes you happy.
Well, I have been kind of talking about work, so we can cross that one off. Lets being with the 8 weeks. Now, 7 weeks but this was referring to the competition I planned on doing. I don’t think I will be doing it. but I am training like I am. I am taking weekly progress pictures and will post them at the end of the 8 weeks. I am playing around with my macros and added in 3 (30-45) minutes of cardio in this week and next. My calories are ranging from 1500-2000*. I have successfully worked out each week and am super proud about that. I really think I am going to give it my all. I did have a cheat meal today (literally a few minutes before I starting writing) and didnt think I was going to have one for the entire 8 weeks. However, I did just finish the 8 week no cheat and let me tell you that was so hard and I fell right back on my ass. I had a hard time picking myself up because it was mixed with feeling lonely, tired and burnt out from work.. Thats like a recipe for disaster. Any who, I am staying consistent with work outs and even my cheat meals are recorded and kept track of. Speaking of which, I really want to get into the whole macro things. I want to be able to have some solid information and something I can project to other people because not only are my clients asking about it, many people comment or message me with some sort of diet question. I want to be able to just find the post click and paste and be like BAM! problem solved. Yea.. lol. wouldn’t that be nice. But it would still be helpful if I gave the basics of what to do to start losing fat and looking/feeling better. Maybe I will do some research and really put some time and effort into it (dos yes. it may take a while lol). Anyways, I am keeping track day by day what I am doing so we can see what it takes (okay what it takes for me, my bf% food intake ext) to get to where I will be in 8 weeks. I am already leaning up and I couldn’t be more ecstatic. Heres the break down of this week:
Monday 16th- 497 Calories Burned. 1:41:08. (1511 Calories Consumed).
Tuesday 17th- (no heart rate) Did a Back Work Out 15 Min Cardio. (1569 CC*).
Wednesday 18th- 35 Min Plyo and Abs. (1760CC).
Thursday 19th- Stairmaster. (1550CC).
Friday 20th- Went to RLB. Did Legs (Got told I was losing weight**) (2000CC)
Saturday 21st- Forgot what I did. OH! Went with Marley to the kids playground and did a work out there. 255 Calories Burned. (1800CC).
Sunday 22nd- (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM)!!- Almost an hour @NS Did Upper body and ended with heavy glutes. 394 Calories Burned. (2500CC My “Cheat Meal” Day).***
** Yes, this is technically what I want but the reason I put this here, was because when I went to my notepad to reread what I did for the week, I saw this. I would say on Monday or Tuesday of this week, a member of my gym went up to my trainer and asked him if I was gaining weight. FIRST OF ALL, ITS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS! Like for real. Who does that… Unless.. never mind. lol. BUT, I was told this by him the second I was flabbergasted by this guy whom I have never seen at the gym before (and trust me, I know everyone lol), came up to me while I was with a client and introduced himself to me. THEN HE CAME BACK A SECOND TIME DURING HER SESSION!!! How rude. Shes a paying client. Anyways, I wasnt bragging but I NEEDED to tell CYlia and he was right by.. It was like, oh hey apparently you’re cute enough to be hit on, but some dude notices and thinks its an important enough question to be concerned if Im gaining weight. Unreal. But that’s the reason I even acknowledged it. Am I cute, fat, up and down? Lmao. I could care less. I am doing what I can to be the best that I can. If that “best” is not good enough, pretend I don’t exist. I need to learn this process of loving myself and being fit is one step closer. Being vain, egotistical, have your way but I need to love the body that I am in. With everyone else so concerned on how I look.. I can’t let being fit be a quick fix. I don’t want to starve like I have. I don’t want to spend the time I already don’t have on hours of cardio to look like a bag of bones. I want to be STRONG and being strong isn’t a walk in the park.
***This is what I DO. YOU CAN NOT DO WHAT I DO!!! I am 153ish pounds at 5’6-5’7 (lol). You need to hire someone who do some research and play around a bit. SO DO NOT COPY THIS!!!!!!! I do suggest not going under 1500 calories. That seems like a lot to most of my new clients (because they are used to being starved. Thank you Jenny Craig). But as long as you are staying active, you need that so your body doesnt hate you later.
If you are a nutritionist or some kind of guru and tell me I am doing something wrong, please save it. I have been doing this for years and am playing around with what feels good. I get there is a PERFECT SCIENCE.. but for me… I will do it for a bit then have a total relapse. I need to find a way in which fits me to a tee. Not something I set myself to crash and burn. I need to do what makes me happy.. To be honest, I want to try to be gluten free, that and I want to do a blood test in which it tells you what foods to stay away from ext… I think that would be super interesting (I already know I have acid reflux 😦 ) . In the mean time, I am playing with LOW (not NO carb) and high fats. So far, I havent really felt any differences in regards to bloating or water retention. I think I may pay a little more attention to that.
I think I knocked out a couple of those topics on that list. Other things I wanted to mention is the first one on the list, the quote :do whatever makes you happy” and it is something I will always say in the back of my mind when faced with a decision. Whatever I may be unsure about I will always ask myself if it makes me happy, WILL it make happy. I think that is so important, and es it may be easier said then done, but at the end of the day its your life. its your feel good moments memories and smiles.
..and in my case, I not only want to feel good I want to look good to feel good. I don’t know what it was that made me jump into this field but I honestly and truly don’t think I could see myself in anything other than fitness. I may be obsessed or have gone thru the unhealthy ways to get to the healthy ones, but I want to make a a difference and I think helping people help themselves is where I want to start.
Wow.. well didn’t expect that to come out so well… I think I need to just keep writing to ensure I keep this mood going.
A few other things, there are a few pictures of the foods I have been eating. Again. I have been tracking EVERYTHING I eat. Nothing has gone over 2000 calories, nothing under 1500. Boyfriend and I are doing good. I think once I started focusing on myself (working out ext) I stopped being so high-strung. I realize MY life is important. I feel like I go thru these moments all the time though. Like super into working out and loving myself then one day I just crash and burn. No this is not me being negative, just being realistic here..
Though, I think this is it. I feel really good about this one. I am going to do this for 8 weeks. THEN I will reevaluate the situation. I did the 8 week no cheat, what would make this any harder? I just need to work out and prep my meals. Thats it. I am already at the gym 58394 hours of the week, I have NO excuse not to get shit done.
&& trust me.. Im about to get shit done.
Other than that, I did want to (and have been wanting to) write about strength and being strong, but I think I am going to save that until the end or at least the 8 week pit stop of this road to ripped trip.. Yea.. I think Ill do that.