Monthly Archives: December 2013

Playing catch up!

It seems that when I get overwhelmed, my blogging takes a hiatus. I think that’s because at times, blogging overwhelms me. I never proofread because I will end up highlight select all delete that shit.

So.. please excuse my lack of consistency and spelling errors.

Lets begin shall we. As one would guess, yes I am stressed. Overwhelmed is such a great word though.. fits me perfectly.. or this situation rather. Though I seem to use it quite frequently. Hmm.. Any who.. things have been good things have been bad, the only difference than before is I feel like I am keeping my head above water. That staying afloat, is not as hard as I was making it out to be.

I don’t care what life throws at me anymore.. Ill be scared when things stop and I have nothing to dodge anymore.. I mean… Just because you were given something, or dealt a shitty hand in life, doesn’t mean there’s only one solution.. that you have to continue on to a less successful path. You can make something out of nothing and I no longer want to coast through life. I want to make something happen. I want to start at the bottom through my trials and tribulations and just soar. I want to live. I am in the prime of my time. No rent, no bills (cell, insurance food ext but that’s it), no children, nothing should be stopping me. I have used my sister’s situation in as comparison and just because she’s about to finish school because financially she was helped, doesn’t mean I can’t. Just because NOTHING… I really am sick and tired of it.

I go off on tangents and I just don’t know when to quit.

Like this picture for example. One night I got upset, and instead of writing on the notepad app, I took to instagram. This was pretty recent and I just kept typing.

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Brighter side of things that just so happens to add to the stress, I am taking my NASM certification in 3 months. Stoked to have it on my resume, but nervous about the level of skill it will take to pass this test. I am just hoping with my 4 levels of experience that SOMETHING has caught on.. never mind.. just wish me luck lol..

Outside of constantly being busy with studying the next couple of months, I am training for a show. I don’t even know if I mentioned I was doing one last year (that I ended up NOT doing), but 2014 is going to be my next debut ;P I have a great team working with me and I cannot be happier. Working at this _ _ fitness has really opened my eyes up to the corporate world but even more so to some really incredible people. I am so blessed to finally have a group of people that know whats up. Life isnt about partying and bullshitting around.. Yes I would rather be at home in bed, but I at least want to be working on SOMETHING productive in my life. I don’t want all that bullshit. I want to focus and stay motivated in what I want to achieve in the next couple of months/year. I want to prove to MYSELF, no one else, myself that I can do this. I want to be lean. I want to be strong. I want to pass this NASM test so I feel like I do have some intelligence. I have so much that I want to knock off the list for 2014.

I am, however, making a promise to myself that if I am not where I want to be (or at least attempting it) that I will quit my job and go help people. I don’t care if it’s in chicago feeding the homeless, to moving to Africa to help children read. I think that sounds like a legit goal/promise.. Yeah, im gonna go with that.

So, that being said. I am currently 12 weeks out. I start my diet tomorrow which consists of a little carb cycling. I seem to pick up results pretty quickly with this. I will be taking progress pictures and as long as I get around to it, Ill post them weekly. I wont be doing any cardio for the first couple of weeks. No cardio as in, you wont be seeing my ass on a treadmill.. will you see me jumping around on a bench doing ski jumps or box jumps? You betchya!

Lets leave you with a few pictures. Some are just a few weeks of recap, and the my recent XMAS trip to Wisconsin. Enjoy! And don’t forget to check back in a week for simple fitness tips tricks and recipes. Man.. my blog is getting boring quick.

First snow storm with Marley.

First snow storm with Marley.

Ice skating in Chicago <3

Ice skating in Chicago ❤

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

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SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Yeah… my blogs like that.

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I cried. I puked. I conquered.

Literally.

I ended up training with H and J at around noon. I was coming back from the body shop, so the gym was on the way. I ended up trying to bail, but figured I needed to get my ass kicked. And kicked it sure got. We didn’t even do much (45 minutes with 3 people training), and I literally cried, and puked TWICE! We did some lunges to stretch before and after actually, but started with the leg press.

Started with 180 pounds, all the way to 360. After we got to 360, we started with it again but drop set -90 lbs each side (so a 45 from each side) till we ended with 180 again. THIS. KILLED. ME. I did stop a couple of times, but I finished. Afterwards, I had to lay down. It felt similar to the pain I felt when I cried at the Hack Squat a month or so ago, but this was entirely worse. I couldn’t keep any position of my legs from keeping them from literally stinging. I laid down and went from dripping sweat to getting the chills. It took me awhile to recover. So long (in my head) that I contemplated telling em I was thru.

Though, I continued. We did some plyo work and weighted hip thrusters. After this we did 4 (or 5.. I think 4), box jump to burpee. 20 of them. Yea…… insert trash can here. We lunged back to our desk and.. insert trash can here… Yea we were all done after that. So……. it was, to say the least, intense.

I miss these work outs. I have been getting it in with a couple different people (lol nvm) and it has been a huge help in regards to hitting different muscles and just always a good time when you aren’t training yourself. My work outs have been good, my eating has been like 75%. Gotta get that shit back up. Here until the holidays I was to be 90% clean, then beginning of Jan back to 100%. I have a lot of goals I am looking to achieve in 2014. I think this will be the year I get my head out of my ass.

We went to Sushi and got my favorite roll. Imo gima or Idk. lmao

We went to Sushi and got my favorite roll. Imo gima or Idk. lmao

Sorry, had too.

Sorry, had too.

A lot has gone on though, so I do apologize for not updating you on my pointless life’s events.. A real close friend (and someone who impacted me deeply) passed away this weekend. We had his wake last night and the funeral was today (Wednesday). RIP Mikey.

Other horrible life altering news has been heard in my immediate family. Don’t feel its appropriate to write here, so I obviously wont. But know that i am praying for you MD.

OH! I got rear ended the first legit snow storm of the year. Sunday or Monday was it? I don’t know, but long story short, she ran. I had to chase her but it’s not like it was hard going 25 miles per hour. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?? My fender is flying, I have a quarter size hole in my bumper and my tail pipe is bent and stained with her paint. L O L. Whatever.. it is what it is. So far, everything has gone super smoothly. *knock on wood*

I FIND YOUUUU!

I FIND YOUUUU!

Atleast Marleys happy theres snow..

At least Marley’s happy there’s snow..

So, as you can tell I have been super emotional lately. I am trying to still figure out my weaknesses and how to overcome them. I am still figuring out who I want to keep close, and who I should back away from.. I just feel that I’ll start getting overwhelmed sooner than later. That is a weakness because I fall victim to it, so I am wondering how I can prevent this knowing beforehand it’ll happen. I know I need to talk to someone.. someone unbiased but I don’t want my past (more so not having a father) to be blamed for this… Or validating my emotions. I don’t need validation I need help on how to tone them down a bit. Ugh! I need a lot. More clients, a degree, a new car.. sanity..

I’m kidding. I am grateful for even being able to feel hate love sadness pain. I want to embrace it. No one is safe.

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2 week progress and a crap ton of pictures.

Well would you look at that.. the longest I’ve gone without broadcasting my life for the world to see!

LOL. A lot has gone on I don’t even know where to begin.. Or because I forgot just how long I went without posting for… Hmm..

Lets start off with…. SOME BAD ASS PROGRESS, shall we??! 😛

Beginning and up until 11/27-

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2 week difference and a $30 spray tan.

2 week difference and a $30 spray tan.

This is a 2 week difference. All I have been doing is lifting heavy shit and following my meal plan to a T. Barely any cardio unless you count boxing for 45 minutes on saturday. I rarely do any now thinking I am going to lose my ass. Speaking of which!

Le ex (going to be current very soon) boyfriend said that my butt was getting smaller.. that’s like.. THEE worst thing to hear when you start dieting down.. It took me back to when I first competed and stairmastered my ass right off! That’s when I thought giving up my ass for abs was detrimental to my physique.

Wrong.

Anyways.. IT WENT UP .5″ YESSSSIRRREEEE BOB! Johnny said it was just because it’s lifted now.. chhheeyeah! I am actually supposed to take my measurements next week.. but I have been eating super bad lately. Ever since Thanksgiving.. FML. I need to cut it out. Its been the last 3 days. Nothing like HORRIBLE.. but like last night. He came over and we ate shit food at 2am after eating and working out like a boss. But I wanted it. I don’t know.. I don’t want to use the whole I have 3 months bullshit anymore because I’ve done that before and it blew up in my face, but 3 months and apparently I was dropping weight too quickly.

Thanksgiving night and the next morning. Got the boy eating right and working out and we even hit the gym the following day..

Thanksgiving night and the next morning. Got the boy eating right and working out and we even hit the gym the following day..

I don’t know. I’m going to do my body fat again and reassess my life … er mood then. Either way, I am going to stick to my meal plan until further notice and just get shredded. Fuck this fat food.

Hmmm… what else do I have to say..

Just been working and working out. Hopefully making Phitness Aesthetics into something awesome.. working on getting shredded… picking up more clients.. working on a relationship with fellow boyfriend.. Noticing the difference of when I give a shit vs when I don’t.. and I am much happier when I do….

Here are a few pictures because I don’t want to write anymore..

OH! and I saved a dog! Long story short I saw a lot of commotion on a busy highway type street and saw a dog in the median =. I slammed on my breaks and ran to the dog. Some lady was making her way to him so I figured it was hers but it wasn’t. She agreed to take it to the vet so I volunteered to get the dog to the car quarter of a mile up. He wouldn’t budge so I did what any normal gym rat would do and I deadlifted his ass and proceeded on my way.

HA!

Me weighing out almonds before we went shopping on Thanksgiving.

Me weighing out almonds before we went shopping on Thanksgiving.

The cake we made to take for dinner. Coffee Cake from scratch. Funny thing is, we were preparing to get all the ingredients at the store and literally saw a box mix of the same shit. Needless to say... we made it from scratch.. :)

The cake we made to take for dinner. Coffee Cake from scratch. Funny thing is, we were preparing to get all the ingredients at the store and literally saw a box mix of the same shit. Needless to say… we made it from scratch.. 🙂 lol..

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It wasn't bad. FULL of sugar but I burnt the bottom and it needed more cinnamon swirl in the middle..

It wasn’t bad. FULL of sugar but I burnt the bottom and it needed more cinnamon swirl in the middle..

Hooters. Need I say more?

Hooters. Need I say more?

Yes I go out in public with my hair like this.

Yes I go out in public with my hair like this.

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The boy and I on our way to dinner.

The boy and I on our way to dinner.

 

Just so happens portillos salads have 4oz of chicken. On the dot.

Just so happens portillos salads have 4oz of chicken. On the dot.

 

Yes I used a filter but I was just happy with how my chest and shoulders look. Oh! and a badass shirt that says, "Lift heavy shit"! Thanks to Cylia <3

Yes I used a filter but I was just happy with how my chest and shoulders look. Oh! and a badass shirt that says, “Lift heavy shit”! Thanks to Cylia ❤

Flowers I received at work. BEAUTIFUL!

Flowers I received at work. BEAUTIFUL!

Ugh! Funny story behind this as well....... I cant remember which night... oh wait  nevermind, after hooters we ran our fat asses to coldstone. They were closing in 15 minutes so I always feel bad. But I made it short and sweet. However, I went to grab Mikes smoothie which are a pain to make (I worked at DQ for 4 years) and always make a mess... welll.. I grabbed it to hard and the mositure of the drink it slipped and spilled everywhere... She was happy to make another one (I also tipped her $2 more dollars), but as soon as we left I heard and saw her screaming. Ugh. She should of waited till we got in our car because it looked horrible. I cleaned up most of it. Keep it together.

Ugh! Funny story behind this as well……. I can’t remember which night… oh wait never mind, after Hooters we ran our fat asses to cold stone. They were closing in 15 minutes so I always feel bad. But I made it short and sweet. However, I went to grab Mikes smoothie which are a pain to make (I worked at DQ for 4 years) and always make a mess… welll.. I grabbed it to hard and the moisture of the drink it slipped and spilled everywhere… She was happy to make another one (I also tipped her $2 more dollars), but as soon as we left I heard and saw her screaming. Ugh. She should have waited till we got in our car because it looked horrible. I cleaned up most of it. Keep it together.

The best for last, RIP Paul Walker.

The best for last, RIP Paul Walker.

 

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