Oh boy.

Second Iphone stolen within 3 months. No insurance, like an idiot. Why? because with the insurance, my bill would exceed $150 a month.. Thought I wouldn’t have to deal with another jackass… I thought wrong.

It’s been almost a week without one. Not that it matters TOO much without having a phone.. but boy do I take it for granted. I can no longer nap because my dumbass has no alarm to wake me up. My clients cancel and I have no way of knowing. It’s the basic shit that I miss.. Not Facebook, Instagram or even Snapchat… I just want to be able to take a nap!

So, no photos of our Ice fishing trip to Wisconsin during Valentines day, no progress pictures, no duckface selfies… no nothing. Lost it all, again.

Smh.

On top of that, I am getting recertified as a personal trainer via NASM. They give you 180 days to complete and pass the test. My boss told me I needed it in 60 days. A week or two ago, it was no longer 60 days, but rather 27. If that doesn’t put stress on someone, I don’t know what will. It’s terrifying really. Not because I lack confidence which we all know.. but because I suck at taking tests and I really needed that time. I paid $800 for it and IF I don’t pass, it’s another $200 to try again. No, not being pessimistic, just laying it out there..

So.. I’m sure you can tell I am stressed out like a MF! Everything is taking a toll on me. My boss comes up to me and starts hounding me about the test and how I need it within the next week and a half.. I blew up at him. I have been such a basket case, that I feel like I can no longer control my emotions. I felt horrible. I still do. I apologize and got him a GC shortly after because I was so embarrassed about my actions…

Needless to say, Friday is my first therapist appointment. I need to talk to someone.. I need to get everything out and have someone say, ‘youre not crazy”.. I need someone to give me something to work with because I am slowly self destructing.

Work outs have been good, and I have been staying on track. Although with everything going on, I am having a hard time eating. I have to literally force myself to eat. Any other time before this, I would have loved not having an appetite.. Yeah.. that was the anorexic me.. the fit me shoves food down my throat so I don’t lose the precious muscle I have been slaving for..

Shits rough right now, but I’ll get through it by the grace of God.

 

 

 

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