Filters don’t just stop at pictures..

I wish I could be more honest here. I’m truly afraid of my safety, so I have to filter everything. This isn’t like a journal a would keep at home, knowing its out of harms way.. It’s just going to take time before I can truly open up with the pain I am going through..

Until then, filter on.. 

I wrote the paper, actually edited it and turned it into my psychology teacher the last day of class. Meaning, class is over. Meaning, my psychology teacher is no longer my psychology teacher. Instead, she’s my therapist. My first meeting with her was yesterday, and it was literally like reading my entire paper to her. Everything I wrote in that paper is a complete description of the turmoil I have found myself in. So although it was the first meeting, and her already having an inside scoop, it was truly comforting. It felt like she’s been with me the entire time, and I have felt very alone during this journey. 

I am finishing up a few other doctor apts regarding my health this week, literally an appointment every day. It’s exhausting, but feelin like shit sucks worse.

Thanks for all the love on the recent posts. It’s nice to read kind words when you’ve focused solely on the negative ones for so long.. 

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2 thoughts on “Filters don’t just stop at pictures..

  1. jlgentry says:

    You know my heart and thoughts are on your side. I have some friends who run a group – Stigma Fighters – where you might find some kindred spirits. They are strong women and men who are making it through some difficult mental health issues. I understate how amazing the people I’ve met there are. Just like you. http://www.stigmafighters.com

    Although I first heard the pain and the need in your post, I also saw that part of you that always makes me smile. I like to think of it as your survivor instinct. You always step up to your challenges. I’m proud of you for taking the steps you are taking. I know deep inside that you will find your way. You have that kind of strength.

    As always,

    Your friend,

    Jerry

    • Marissa says:

      Missed reading your comments. I hope all is well. I’ll be taking a look at that site.. Mental illness is no joke .. Just not understood either.. Pretty sure I’m going to start posting more solely for your kind words 🙂

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