I wish I could be more honest here. I’m truly afraid of my safety, so I have to filter everything. This isn’t like a journal a would keep at home, knowing its out of harms way.. It’s just going to take time before I can truly open up with the pain I am going through..
Until then, filter on..
I wrote the paper, actually edited it and turned it into my psychology teacher the last day of class. Meaning, class is over. Meaning, my psychology teacher is no longer my psychology teacher. Instead, she’s my therapist. My first meeting with her was yesterday, and it was literally like reading my entire paper to her. Everything I wrote in that paper is a complete description of the turmoil I have found myself in. So although it was the first meeting, and her already having an inside scoop, it was truly comforting. It felt like she’s been with me the entire time, and I have felt very alone during this journey.
I am finishing up a few other doctor apts regarding my health this week, literally an appointment every day. It’s exhausting, but feelin like shit sucks worse.
Thanks for all the love on the recent posts. It’s nice to read kind words when you’ve focused solely on the negative ones for so long..