I find myself grinning from ear to ear inside, so no one knows. All they see is this poker face I display for the world to see.
That’s all they get. I’m special. I know I am. I am going places in life and although I’ve been treading water for some time now, I have yet to exhaust all my efforts.
My time will come. Until then, I am enjoying this road of self discovery. School is tough. Probably always will be considering I will continue attending full time and working full time.. But this won’t be forever. The projects I have due mainly involve life experiences, and in doing so, I am finding my life to be quite impressive. My mother was right, (okay Justine you were too), I don’t give myself enough credit. When I get stopped by random members at the gym and go into a little detail of my hectic life, their reactions alone make me aware of just how hard I am working.
Clients in the morning, school for a few hours, then back to another location to train 8 or so clients. Everyday I clock in to one or another location. I find the 12 minute tan, or a late start of 11 on Fridays, to be my down time. I’m usually tired, can squeeze in a cat nap here and there.. But don’t mind being incredibly busy because I feel if I had nothing to do, I’d do just that.. nothing. At one point I felt worthless because I wasn’t doing anything with my time .. And now that I have none to spare, it makes you appreciate the simplest things.. (Or make you quite irritable when people don’t respect it).
I thank God every day for finally opening my eyes.. my heart.. but more so my mind. The woman I am becoming is something to be proud of.