Monthly Archives: May 2016

If it were easy, well.. you know. 

Everyone wants the easy way out, the magic pill, if you will. I can’t compete with an ignorant naive mind. I don’t possess enough patience. It’s a flaw, a weakness rather and something that is currently being worked on. 

The same patience I’m speaking of, is the patience these people.. your clients my clients people of the world, all need. 

The body I have, the strength I own, the knowledge I’ve acquired.. Was never made in a lab nor was it injected. It was never swallowed. Never squeezed and manipulated.. This was hardwork and consistency. This.. this took discipline.

Of course I wanted to wake up after a day of eating good, and like what I saw. Of course I’d rather take a pill then feel the lactic acid (which we can thank hydrogen not lactate for that) burning. Of course I’d rather wear some ridiculous waist trainer instead of walking up to cycle in the wee hours of the morning.

Truth is, this lifestyle isn’t easy and as far as I’ve seen, isn’t for everyone. 

I get that. I get that life isn’t easy which makes being active and healthy harder. I G E T  IT! Maybe me getting it, isn’t the problem. Maybe thinking there’s a problem, is the problem. 

A client and I got into it (not really but definitely some miscommunication) regarding meal plans and such. Apparently I said I would help her with one months and months ago but always fell thru. I wasn’t aware of this, as meal plans are very time consuming (and technically I’m not a dietician yet so, basically all I can give you is “guidelines”).  However, that is my job and hopefully as you all know, I am all about balance. Nutrition being one of the most important factors in all of this, none the less. What got to me is as I am going over the basics to this (I start my clients off small. As in, small goals nothing drastic to see how they adapt to change), she interrupts me and goes off on a tangent about how age this, and carbs that.. And I’m just sitting there like…. quiet.. until she talks about how she won’t give it 100%. How too much is going on that she’s spread too thin. 

Now.. How are you going to complain that I never helped you, make me feel like shit, when really you just didn’t want to be helped? I take this shit to heart and I am slowly realizing I can’t do that. Yes, I am trying to help clients help themselves but if they don’t want the help, it is out of my hands. I am already too hard on myself, I can’t take people’s lack of motivation as my own. I want to see these people succeed! I know how it feels to look in the mirror and not like what you see! I know what it feels like to put on clothes, not be able to fit in them, and hop back in bed and cry. I know tears. Tears fit nice, they just don’t look good. 

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To get better at writing, you have to write.

I’ve been wanting to write an update for awhile now, but with life I came up with just about every reason you could possible imagine as to why I didn’t have time.

School life work (the lack thereof), I mean, I feel like as if lately it’s been one thing after another. Now, y’all know I don’t mind the pressure and at some point, I have enjoyed the chaos, but when things are starting to take a true negative impact on your mood attitude or over all well being, that’s when something needs to be done. I always preach being proactive and not reactive but seldom take my own advice..

Until it’s too late, that is.

I don’t know what caused me to change my password so I could finally open up this app, but I don’t feel very positive or even in the mood to write. I have been super hard on myself when it comes to my writing. I want to write a book, and yet I can’t stay on top of a blog or proofread my writing without the fear of ‘select all delete’ action going on.. but here we are..

I feel like so much goes on in my life that I don’t see why I don’t write about it. Probably because unlike some people, who like to talk about their feelings, I don’t. Who likes to sit down and express emotions and rehash everything that would be much more pleasant being forgotten?
So bare with me while I take a stab at it..

I am one final away from completing my second full time semester here. I took some time off work, not intentional, but seems to have worked in my favor (well, in regards to school that is). I will be leaving the semester with straight A’s baby! So, not training 20+ people a day, has really helped me with staying on top of my school work. Two full time semesters to go and I can finally transfer, phew!

I came to the library after I sat down with one of my professors. I really wish I had recorded the conversation because it was just amazing to hear someone confident in me when even I can’t be. We obviously talked about my lack of confidence, but Rome sure wasn’t built in a day..

I will say that I am whole heartedly trying to be the best person I can be. I put a lot of energy into doing well this semester, being helpful and courteous.. That I truly proud of the woman I am growing up to be. I see the changes and the effort into discipline myself, and I cannot be happier.

Just a few hours ago, I took a test that I had previously failed twice. I tried taking a test of 700 pages in 72 hours. A week later, failed again. How? This was a test regarding information I am going to school for, and yet I was having the hardest time passing it. Well…

TODAY I PASSED!!! I went into confident as ever (though I will say the other two times I was just as confident and to be honest that’s crazy for me to even say with the amount of anxiety I get with taking tests), and passed by over 10%. I walked out of that building with a huge grin and couldn’t help but to continue to congratulate myself throughout the car ride home (This test was TOUGH, to say the least. But I now know what color different muscle fibers are and the degree of all angles of the body, if case any of y’all, or my clients, were interested).

I don’t know if it’s because I was never motivated or praised when I was younger, but I am learning to be my own biggest fan, and she’s a pretty dope chick to have around. 

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