Tag Archives: believe

Some motivation please!

Motivational Monday eh? Seems about right. Had a shit show of a weekend again resulting in me getting arrested for the 2nd time in the last 3 months. I won’t go into detail about the way the Rosemont police department treated my boyfriend and I only because I have court Dec 13 and will explain from start to finish when I hear the verdict of our court case. My voice WILL be heard.

Any who I want to keep this post simple and to the point. I had a lovely lady text me needing motivation to get back in the gym. At which point I sent a sexy girl on stage just trying to make her laugh when she went further into detail. She explained that she gained a lot of weight and its hard to get back in the gym because its embarrassing. And its true, its such a horrible feeling to have to leave in the middle of a workout because I feel worthless unmotivated, like I’m getting no where. The thing is, is I was getting somewhere. It doesn’t take a day, wont even take a month but as long as you know that every day you are a day closer to feeling better about yourself, you need to hang on.

I have left mid leg press. Tears streaming down my face not giving a FUCK who saw and just walking out because I was so overwhelmed. Finishing 15 minutes of cardio and thinking I am wasting my time. Binging and not working out because of it. I’ve been through all of it and still to this day knowing what needs to be done in order for me to be happy, keeps me going. We all start somewhere, you just have to. It’s going to be hard, its going to suck you’re going to be tired and cranky most likely hungry, but in the end I rather be tired because of two a days at the gym then spending hours upon hours hating myself, hating the person I let myself become.

It sucks to have to write this. I tend to be the one that motivates others and its hard to help when I have been living in self doubt for awhile now. Its like listen to what I say because it will help, but I can’t seem to help myself right now. But I have been, for the last few days maybe even the last 2 weeks I have been putting a lot more effort into myself because it just got unbearable. The only thing I can say is that I hope everyone kicks their own ass and sticks with eating healthy and working out because once you let yourself slip into your old habits its hard to kick them. You get feelings that are beyond describable to where you just want to curl up in bed under the covers and sleep the day away. Ive had many days like this. Ive had days where my attitude changes in the blink of an eye because of my weight. I have skipped going out and enjoying life and friends and a good time all because my clothes didn’t fit right or I’m bloated from drinking a diet coke. My life hasn’t been easy. I’ve dealt with everything from anorexic bulimia and binge eating.I can pick myself apart better than anyone out there, living a life of self worthlessness but I know what I am capable of. and just because I am unhappy with myself right now doesn’t mean I am giving up. I’m ready to work hard.. I’m ready to give it my all. I want to be happy because I achieved something not wallow in my own self pity, but you know what that involves? The first step.

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I am staying strong for once.

I have been having anxiety lately.

From the shower, to today at work and I am praying that inside I’ll feel okay. Because in my heart, I know it will be.

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Update!

2 months. That’s all I need. 8 weeks and I will be “show time” ready.

I usually hate putting time frames on crap but this one is for shits and giggles and to see how far I can really push myself.

Right now I am eating..
Carbohydrates: Oatmeal, brown rice, whole wheat pastas and breads and fruits.
Protein: Anything my little heart desires.
Fats: Nuts, Avocado, and some more nuts.

Closer to “show time”, I will reduce my carbohydrate intake and take out fruits completely.
I am currently doing no less than 30 minutes of cardio a day (right now doing 2x a day but that’s because I got all happy for a couple days lol)..
Lifting 6x a week. I split my workouts into body parts. Shoulders, Arms, Chest, Quads, Glutes/Hams, and Back. I try to lift as heavy as I can, when I can.
I am introducing more plyometric work rather then resting.. I’ll be doing “active” resting:

The term “active rest” or “active recovery” applies to training schedules used by athletes.  In the recent past, athletes were encouraged to rest completely after a competition or on a day off.  But newer research shows that engaging in low-intensity exercise during “rest” is better for maintaining fitness levels.  Low-intensity exercise flushes out lactic acid and delivers healing oxygen to the muscles.  Any activity that keeps the target heart rate in the 60 – 65% range is low-intensity exercise.

It’s a great way of burning more calories throughout the work out. It consists of A LOT of jump squats and lunges, burpees and bosu ball and box jumps.

I have been trying to run more but I will save that for a later date. Just been getting really involved with the spin bike but will be spinning, using the stairmaster, and the treadmill (possibly the row machine but not for much.. I get fed up and annoyed and fuck that).
As with my carbohydrates, the closer I get to my goal date, the more cardio I will do. It could be twice a day for up to 60 minutes, depending on how I look throughout this process.
Life Update:

Yesterday (tuesday), made a casein pb and chocolate cake for my pre workout. I think I was possibly craving this.. because I usually don’t have casein that early in the day but no big deal. Headed to the gym around 7:15pm and got straight to doing pull ups. I did a couple sets of these, at least 5. Did bent over rows, back ext, and some basic rows. Finished off with a solid 30 minutes of spin. My legs are really started to hate me, and have been sore forever. I don’t give them that much rest though.. I love working them!

..went to jewel, after my workout. Ate a banana in the car before I walked in though (now I make sure that I have SOMETHING to eat post workout if I know I wont go home right away).. Just shopped around for a few snacks. Here is what the shopping cart looked like:

Pretty light actually. I am super excited about the portable applesauce’s. They only have 2 ingredients (apples and cinnamon) and that’s it. Have you ever noticed that majority of applesauce’s have High Fructose Corn Syrup in them? Literally 4/5 times it has processed bullshit in it. Be careful. Also pretty excited for the ranch dip.. I am going to throw it in some greek yogurt and hoping it comes out well.. this could be a life savor lol… the rest of the stuff is just basics. Eggs, bananas, Ezekiel bread (however I like the english muffins more lol).. and some powerade (I am trying to get rid of my diet coke habit).  I realized that I really do get hungry through out the day.. and if something bad happens or something pisses me off I turn to food (or when the shop smells so fucking good because the boys are eating out), I turn to food. LOL. I fucking love it. All of it (okay no, I’m picky as hell..but seriously the food I like, I LOVE)..

..so much that my boyfriend actually tells me that’s when I am the happiest. Isn’t that something.. He can literally see a difference in me from when i’m doing nothing to when I am eating. Seriously?

However I enjoy my food now, eating healthy makes me happy. I like precooking meals and taking pictures of my snacks for the day. I am a loser in my own little way and I think I found people that accept that. This isn’t just a fad or something I am stoked about for the moment. This is my life and I will work each and every day to better myself and to help people along the way. I have so much that I want to do that I think sitting back and watching it replay in my head has done its job.. its back to business.

Today, Wednesday, I enjoyed a “banana split” protein shake.
Just add chocolate protein powder, flaxseed and ice 🙂
I have with me some greek yogurt and grapes, some almonds and a few rice cakes to snack on. For lunch I have my chicken “fried” rice that I will continue to eat till its all gone lol.. then I will make some dope pasta (possibly tonight for tonights post workout). I should be held over for the entire work day 🙂 I have a few extra carbs in my diet today because I am going hard on my legs tonight (lmao.. I NEEEEED too).. They feel all better but still get super worked up in spin class. I think I might take a few extra minutes and lay in the sauna for a bit. relax and sweat a bit 😉

&& guess the boy is coming over later. I have this thing.. where now I HAVE to work out first, in order for us to hang out lol. We’ll see how this goes 🙂 I just like to spend time with him 🙂 gushyyyyyy bullshit.. but for real. I am going to knock out a FANTASTIC leg work out.. walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes or so then head into the suana and get my ass home.
Ugh.. so not looking forward to legs being sore again.. lol…but I wonder how much I can squat..

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Believe.

Believe in your heart that something wonderful is about to happen. Love your life. Believe in your own powers, and your own potential, and in your own innate goodness.Wake every morning with the awe of just being alive.
Discover each day the magnificent, awesome beauty in the world.
Explore and embrace life in yourself and in everyone you see each day.
Reach within to find your own specialness.Amaze yourself and rouse those around you to the potential of each new day.

Don’t be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect; this is the essence of your humanity. Let those who love you help you. Trust enough to be able to take.

Look with hope to horizon of today, for today is all we truly have.

Live this day well. Let a little sun out as well as in.

Create your own rainbows. Be open to all your possibilities; all possibilities and miracles.

Always believe in miracles.

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Day 61 the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

The Diet

For some reason my pictures do NOT want to load.

930am Protein Shake (Dymatize, Strawberries, Flax, Ice, Water).
1pm 1/4lb Roast beef w/ almonds
430pm Blackened Chicken Breast w/ Soy Sauce w/ Almonds.
6pm More Almonds.. omg fml.
1030pm 2 Salt Free Rice Cakes w/ Protein Almond Butter *

*New and its AWESOME!!!!! 14g protein 4g carbs 6g fiber and only 1g of sugar 🙂

The Work Out

3 Supersets of Lying Chest Press & Flyes…

30lbs (each arm) x 12 reps w/

15lbs (each arm) x 8-10

4 sets of cable presses (weight unknown)

10 Minutes of Bosu Ball Burpees, 30 sec ski jumps and 15-25 Jump Squats*

*GREAT for your ass/legs..

5 Minute Planks

45 Min Cardio

Day 61 in pictures..

  1. A cool picture I took in the car…lol pointless but I didn’t have a morning picture.
  2. My good ol Blackened Chicken Breast.
  3. Recipe for blueberry muffins.. have another recipe I am going to try this weekend. Will post recipe tonight 🙂
  4. I cheated on Whole Foods :/
  5. I got (mostly for the day of my competition) but dried mango, and banana. Olive oil. Almonds. Apple Vinegar. Not pictured: Artichoke. Asparagus. Dark Chocolate.
  6. My plyo workout equipment. Don’t think you need a whole lot to work out.. 🙂
  7. This is ME. Today.
  8. Look what came while I was working out?!??!?!!?!?!??!!?!?
  9. A NEW CHOCOLATE ALMOND BUTTER!!!!!! 14 G Protein 4g Carb 6g Fiber and only 1 G of sugar. Fuck. Yes. and only $18.99 LMFAO.. I know I know… whatever.. and its awesome and still has only like 5 ingredients.. I still have yet to try my muscle egg lol and I just paid $75 for them. Yep. I am nuts.
  10. Last picture is me throwing away pointless oatmeal mixes. I just keep throwing away food and buying better shit.. it cost me a lot more to feed the mother (lol) but I rather her eat how I do then have to deal with stupid bullshit around the house.. I don’t know.. we shall see.

5 weeks out. kinda getting scared shitless because I don’t even have my suit. Yes that means I haven’t even ordered it. So yes that means I will pay an extra $50 to have it shipped and made sooner.

Life of a procrastinator = just paying more $$$ in the end lol. I swear it happens every time.. like when I decide not to pay my speeding tickets on time….. ohhhhhhhh will I ever learn. ALRIGHT well listen up PLEASEEEEEEE to who ever is reading this I BEG OF YOU please comment with your opinion. I am going to measure and put the final touches into making my bikini. I am so up in the air with what color I want that I am stressing out to the max. Not really (because I could always be more stressed lol), but this isn’t a good feeling. The only thing keeping me from breaking down is, as much as I don’t care for my first suit, I still have it. So all else fails, I do have a back up. So tomorrows post will be dedicated to my bikini choices.

So ever since it hit me that my show is around the corner, I have been stepping it up a notch. I am going to start my morning cardio tomorrow.. oh joy, and hopefully just keep leaning out. My legs are still pretty big (still have my ass though, so that is WONDERFUL), just need to stay positive 🙂 Not to mention I have a few tests this week, 2 classes, a 12 page paper due, a 40+ hour job and a thought process that lasts a solid 30 seconds. To think I am still sane. Ha.

This weekend will be a little light on the blogging, again tomorrow will be dedicated to my bikini, and hopefully get to relax a little. Enjoy the holidays and WORK OUT! & EAT CLEAN and here is some motivation and an AWESOME recipe to try.. gosh I am so darn thoughtful…. 😉

Buttery Apple Streusel Oat Squares

Adapted from Ashley’s apple toppingStrawberry Oat Squares, and pumpkin apple streusel muffins.

Ingredients:

For Oat Base:

  • 1.5 cups regular oats
  • 1 cup whole-grain Kamut flour (or whole wheat pastry flour or white/whole wheat)
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt
  • 1/2 cup Sucanat sugar (or brown sugar)
  • 1 chia egg (1 tbsp chia seeds+ 4 tbsp warm water, mixed well and set aside for 5 mins)
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp Earth Balance, melted
  • 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 2 tbsp almond milk

For Buttery Apple Mixture:

Ingredients:

  • 3 granny Smith Apples, peeled, thinly sliced, chopped (makes approx 3 cups, chopped)
  • 2 tbsp Earth balance or butter
  • 1 tbsp maple syrup or brown rice syrup
  • 1 tbsp Sucanat (or brown sugar)
  • 3/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp ginger
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  • Pinch sea salt

Apple Streusel Topping:

Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp Sucanat (or brown sugar)
  • 1 tbsp Earth Balance or butter
  • 2 tbsp flour
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Directions: Preheat oven to 350F. Line a square pan (I used a 9×9) with parchment paper and oil the sides of the pan and base. In a medium sized pot, add the apple mixture ingredients (chopped apples, Earth Balance, brown rice or maple syrup, spices). Heat over low, stirring frequently for about 10 minutes, until the apples soften and mixture thickens up.

In a small bowl, mix the chia or flax egg and set aside. In a large bowl, mix the oat base dry ingredients: oats, flour, Sucanat/brown sugar, baking soda, salt. In a small bowl, mix the melted earth balance, maple syrup, almond milk, vanilla, and chia egg. Stir well.

Add the wet mixture to the dry and mix well, using hands if necessary. Set aside 1/2 cup of the oat base mixture if desired. Pour the oat mixture onto the square pan and press down with fingers. Use a pastry roller to smooth out if desired. Pour on cooked apple mixture and smooth out. Make the apple streusel topping by mixing all ingredients together with a fork or fingers. Now sprinkle on the reserved 1/2 cup oat mixture and apple streusel topping and sprinkle over top.

Bake at 350F for approximately 30 minutes. Allow to fully cool for at least 30-40 minutes before gently removing from pan. You can firm them up in the fridge before slicing into squares or bars. The bars also freeze very well (I place them into a container in the freezer).

HOW GOOD DO THOSE LOOK??????????! and then we have her… who looks very good 😉

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Day 54 The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.

BOULDAH SHOULDAH

Wanted to hit it hard today because I was kind of running low on time (was getting to be 8pm, gym closes at 10pm).

Seated Shoulder Press x3

30lbs (each arm) x 12reps
15lbs x fail

Lateral Raise to Front Raise x3

15lbs x 12reps
15lbs x fail

Incline Flye x4

15lbs x 10reps
15lbs x fail

Seated Cable Chest Press

I actually don’t know the exact weight (8) x4
x 10reps

45 Min Cardio Elliptical 10+ level

25 Min Cardio Treadmill 7+level

Day 54 in pictures..

  1. Protein Shake in the morning =D
  2. A picture I had someone photo shop to prove a point.
  3. My chicken breast on the go.
  4. My date night friday.
  5. I was only going to do the last 5 minutes on the treadmill, then I realized LA closed in 15 min….so I overachieved like a boss.

Today was a pretty good day as in regards to eating. Period was pretty bad (cramps, bloating), but other than that every things all good in the hood. Some personal issues arising (good and bad), but like I said in my last blog, can’t say too much for now. Will expose later :):):):):):):)

** Btw sorry my blogs have been boring the last week or so. I have no idea how I want my blog to look, how I should post things…. so please bare with me.. I will do a FAQ soon, so if you have a questions, don’t hesitate to ask.

Have a great weekend press people!!

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Day 27 randomly ranting

***** Sorry for the random posts! WP is going crazy on me, and is publishing things I don’t want to be published yet. My apologies!!!! This blog isn’t done yet…………..

Guys, if you want big legs you have got to squat. Girls, if you wanta shelf like, bangin’ ass you have got to squat. For the first few years of your training you should squat, squat and squat some more. Everyone’s goal should be to squat double bodyweight, at least. And I’m talking about real, full squats, at least to parallel.

Can you tell its Leg day today?

Should be after I ate 6 cookies last night. wtf? then my mom came in my room and asked if I had taken them, and I said yes. She asked what I did with them I said throw them out. I lied. She knew. She then saw the box on the end of the bed. UGH. I asked her, Im like WHAT ARE U TRYING TO DO MOM>>!>>!?!?!?

She said I need to figure out why Im doing this. and QUITE frankly. its BECAUSE I FUCKING SMOKE POT. THAT and because I was bored and have my period. I don’t know what else to say. I Had a perfectly fine day… I ate good all day. So I dk exactly what was a trigger, but the more that I think about it and try to solve it the more that it feels like a problem to me.

and I don’t want it to be a problem anymore.

I want to get past it. So thats what I plan on fucking doing.

So I will accept the fact that I ate 6 cookies last night and I will move on today without a care in the world.
I will also NOT do extra cardio to make up for the extra calories.
Iwilllovemyselfevenwhenidontwanttoo.

(Besides I did go a whole month without a cheat meal, usually id get 4 a month, lol but enough with the validation).

939am heading down stairs to make a meal. don’t know what though. Gonna hit legs at about noon.

1047am Had the last of my myofusion protein powder with super blend and coconut milk (a wonderful item I got at WF last night). I got my chicken breasts, coconut and almond milk. Edamame. Flaxseed Chips (pizza flavor), Kale Chips (DIS FUCKING GUSTING), and these 8 fucking dollar cookies that AGAIN TASTED AWFUL. ol. well 😦

and then I sat and talked with my mom for a little bit regarding addiction.

You can be addicted to ANYTHING, and its a a scary fucking thought. Some of us don’t even know it. I am trying to regain my life back everyday, and be stronger. I want my relationship with God stronger. I want to FINALLY live my life for me.

Randomly Ranting.

Getting pumped for the gym. Not so much deadlifts, because they hurt so bad (now that I’m finally going heavier!!!).. haha but Ill manage.

L I F T B I G !

12pm Hit legs HARD. Started with deadlift 12 12 10 8 6/ 50lbs 60lbs 70lbs 90lbs + bar

Resting was 10 bw squats in place.

35lb dumbbells 100 lunges

Lying down ham curl maxed OUT AT 50lbs lmao.

Then went and did 5 minutes of planks.

I was SHAKING after. Not to mention some girl at the front desk (who is always super pissed at me because I forget my key tag E V E R Y time.) well I didn’t have it again today 😦 but she asked me if I wanted to go to Sound Bar tonight lol.. why is it that everyone wants to go downtown tonight? Literally had 5 people ask me too?????

Was suppose to go see Nikki at World of Wheels but I didn’t wanna rush anything today so whatever.

115pm Chicken breast 1/2c rice and some 2% cheese.

(my cheat on the weekends are I am allowed to use cheese, condiments, and eat “more” carbs. Some people eat more PB, some actually go out and have a huge calorie/fat meal. Which is OK! it throws off your metabolism and makes it work harder). I choose not to do this anymore, or this time around because I can’t control my cheat meals. My cheat meal turns into a cheat day, so I will RESOLVE the issue, and continue to eat WHOLE foods through out this contest prep.

2pm I just finished a salt bath/bubble bath. I usually don’t take baths bc you just see yourself lying there all fat and shit. So I just take showers mostly. But to be honest, I am not THAT bad. I am white as fuck (tan skin always makes u look better), but def in good shape for being 10 weeks out 🙂 2 and 1/2 months. I could change lives in that amount of time. No reason I can’t do it myself :):):):):):):):)

In 4 days it will be 2 months since I quit smoking. WHATTTTT UPPPPP!!!! (stoked as fuck).

haha in about an hour or 2 I am going to start cooking. For todays MENU haha

Jamie Easons Turkey Meatballs
Black bean brownies
A pumpkinPizookie and
sweet potatoe fries. 🙂 YUM.

630pm Just ate the yummiest food ever.. okay so remember how my cheat meals consist of good eating? Well I wanted corn.. IVE BEEN HAVING WEIRD CRAVINGS FOR CORN! and so I got these single packs. So I heated one up, got some broccoli and my blackened chicken from Whole Foods and some lite sour cream and it was fucking delish. Like. really really good.

OH and I did have a weird craving for cookie and cream ice-cream and then I passed by Culvers and the flavor of the day is cookie dough craving.. are you fucking serious?

The one before that? Oreo

and before that? Chocolate covered strawberry

I am just assuming that since these are all of my fave, that the flavor of the day will be campfire smores. Ill be so fucking pissed.

Anywho, I’m staying in today. LIKE USUAL.. lol ill start going out later, but for now I enjoy my family/fitness lifestyle right now. It makes me happy. In the summer I will be better with the whole going out thing.

In a week or two my second class starts. Hmmmm SO Mon and Wed I have class. SO those are my two days off, (besides when I need to do my cardio in the am on an empty stomach) so that means I can miss any day because of OH IM TOO TIRED BLAHBLAHBLAH.\

Actually now that I graphed that out I may not need to have another day off. I just wouldn’t do cardio and still get a 45 min leg work in.. but its still possible. It just all depends on how my legs and butt come in.

And about the whole baking thing.. I don’t know about that. it is only 7pm, but I don’t know if Im going to fill up for it.. Maybe just the black bean brownies (because I am craving something chocolate no thanks to my lady friend), and save the rest for tomorrow, show Justina how to eat healthy lol.

so that means I should clean my room before I go to bed.

Church Tomorrow.. so church taxes workout – chill. haha ❤

So all I do is surf fitness related articles websites blogs, everything.. well I was looking over for a picture to put above and stumbled on lift big eat big (the sweatshirt I’ve posted before), and found it quite interesting. although I haven’t done their workouts, i wouldn’t mind trying.

The only reason I never did cross fit or any other designed program was bc when something was supersetted, I would literally have to either run across the gym to do so, or it was impossible because of the people, Id just get frustrated (yes my excuse) but Id gonna spend some more time on this site. Im always telling eric (who told me about it years ago) that I wanna do cross fit ( I would love to do the cross fit games actually) but I never do. Ugh.. maybe thats a goal for me, like add it to my bucket list. lol.

25 Tell-Tale Signs That You Lift Big & Eat Big

This post is dedicated to all the members of the Lift Big Eat Big club.
1.Your waist may be the same size it was in high school, but you still wear 2 pant sizes bigger so your ass will fit.
2. People never ask when you will be finished with the squat rack because they don’t want to be on the receiving end of your cobra death glare.
3. Going back for seconds is not a privilege, it’s a duty.
4.Over 75% of your Facebook friends are either shirtless or have weights in their hands. The other 25% are just family members.
5. You know squat.
6. The meal is not over when you are full, the meal is over when you hate yourself.
7. A fridge full of milk and meat should last you until the end of the week.
8. Your eye twitches every time you see a set of half-squats.
9. You spend each night refreshing your gym’s homepage, waiting to see tomorrow’s workout.
10. You keep an extra stick of deodorant on hand in case of a surprise outbreak of the meat sweats.
How I look heading into the 6AM class.
11. If you had a nickel for every time you explain that firming and toning is BS, you could retire.
12.You can walk into large groups of people on the sidewalk and they will always get out of your way.
13. No, it’s not like Zumba or P90X.
14. After a day of heavy 5×5, walking down stairs is the hardest task imaginable.
15. You enjoy blacking out as runners tell you about how great their endorphin high was.
16. You don’t need to go to go to the doctor, because squats and fish oil can cure every ailment.
17. You spend more time at work reading training logs than actually working.
18. You are happy when your butt looks big in those jeans.
19. The recession doesn’t worry you nearly as much as when your new shirt is coming in the mail.
20. Being called “skinny” is offensive.
21. Have some pain? There is a MOBWOD for that.
22. Yes fat is good for you, and you make sure that everyone knows it.
23. Males shy away from the squat rack when you warm up with their max.
24. Every shirt you own has a gym logo or workout reference on it.
25. You base others self worth on their TOTAL score.

I’ve been called a meat head before, and I took it as a compliment until I realized it means idiot. L M F A O.
Funny part is< i don’t think he knew what it meant either, and maybe he did but he wasn’t the type too make fun of me.. but I suppose its true now. hahahahha ohhhhh man. . But this is dope. Im just glad that people are into lifting as much as I am. I really would love to go pro. I think that should be on my bucket list too. I don’t see why I wouldn’t lol. The more the do it, the more my name will get out there and Im sure I wouldn’t step on stage if I looked like shit. Regardless its a GREAT time. I always get so nervous, but this is truly something I thought Id never be able to do. :):)

Makes me happy, knowing that I achieved something I never thought I would. and here I go again right? lol I really want a sexy suit though. I still haven’t really decided. I don’t want jennifers white one because I will ruin it with the tan, and the coral one won’t be ready. (btw never said anything but she asked to follow me on instagram haha!), so now I will keep searching till I see one that catches my eye. It will DEF have chains on the sides though.. OK ok pointless blogging..

I am going to see if this posts tomorrow at midnight, 12:01 actually, because thats what it is set for. But apparently it already posted…. bc WP was being all weird, but well see if that works.

AND BECAUSE of the OLYMPIA, that I didn’t go too :(:( But here is a beautiful 40 year old PRO! She is beautiful.

Cheryl Brown

Goodnight ❤

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Day 14 Officially 12 weeks till NPC bikini comp!

“In seeking happiness for others, you find it for yourself”


1022am I have been up since 8am. My mom and I were suppose to go to church but she’s dead asleep. So I starting writing an L-Carnitine blog and haven’t eaten yet. I really want to make another smoothie but my mother is still passed out downstairs for some reason, and I don’t want to wake her.

I have to study today.. it’s not even funny. That and I need to do my laundry FROM START TO FINISH. lol && I really want to  make those sugar cookies. Today’s blog is going to be boring. I feel good. I have no cravings and I’m not tempted by anything so far. I did finish the corn last night, which I think is a weird fucking craving. Before I wouldn’t let myself touch corn because its the veggie that doesn’t really count as a veggie to people. Actually.. lets do some research on corn shall we…

Awesome. First thing I read.

Many people make the mistake of considering corn a vegetable. It’s an easy error to make, since corn is often sold in the produce section of the grocery store, often side by side with cabbage, broccoli, and cauliflower, as well as other healthy foods. But corn is actually a grain, not a vegetable.

Awesome. Second thing I read.

Adding Corn to Your Flat Belly Diet

So, can you eat corn as part of a flat belly diet? As with all things, you should do so in moderation. Try to find a source for non-GMO corn in your local community, by going to a farmers’ market or asking a food co-op for assistance. When you do eat corn, be sure to count it out as a vegetable, but as a grain for your meal. So you will want to be aware of this as you plan your meals. If you eat corn with rice, for example, you are actually eating two grains per meal, which could slow your weight loss.

LOL. Ol’ well…. I’ll eat it as a snack or a dessert.. haha IN M O D E R A T I O N!

1130am and I finally finished my protein green smoothie. and I didn’t realize it has mushrooms in it.. haha.. oh man.. I was reading off the ingredients and my mom was pretty impressed.

I made all the meals yesterday so I’m glad she’s eating. It actually isn’t hard to make any of these recipes I’ve been making. I’m gonna BE A GREAT WIFE! haha.. actually I don’t mind cooking just the cleaning part.  So as soon as I get up, I’m going to find the sugar cookie recipe (and possibly this oatmeal raisin for my mom), clean, eat then head to the gym.

Oatmeal-Raisin Breakfast Cookies

(gluten-free!)

Also one of My Sugar-Free Recipes.

  • 1/2 cup rolled oats
  • scant 1/2 cup applesauce or over-ripe banana (mashed)
  • 1/4 cup nut butter (I used salted pb)
  • 1/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 3 T raisins (or other dried fruit, or even chocolate chips)
  • pinch salt if desired (taste the dough to decide)
  • 1 packet stevia (or 1 tablespoon sugar. I actually omitted this altogether. If you have absolutely no sweet tooth, you can try it that way. And if you have a huge sweet tooth—or are used to “non-healthy-tasting” desserts—try adding 1/4 cup sugar. As I said above, don’t expect these to taste like your everyday oatmeal-raisin cookies. I’ll post a recipe for those soon!)

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Mash the banana with the nut butter, then add all other ingredients and mix until well-combined. Shape into cookies and bake for around 14 minutes. (Alternatively, you can try pulverizing the raisins and oats before combining them with the banana mixture, if you want more sweetness.)

Click for the cookie Calories and Nutrition Facts.

This recipe probably yields around 10-12 cookies, but I had to guess… because I ate a considerable amount of the raw dough!

Except before the gym, I have to stop at the store and pick up applesauce, dates, spinach, tofu, and ground beef. I think the tofu will be for the frosting for the sugar cookies.

Healthy Sugar Cookies!

  • 3/4 cup ww pastry flour (or white or a gf mix like Arrowhead Mills)
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt (just under level)
  • 1/4 tsp plus 1/8 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 cup white sugar (or sucanat, coconut sugar, or evaporated cane juice)
  • 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 and 1/2 tablespoons nondairy milk of choice
  • 1/4 cup vegan butter sub, such as Earth Balance (Some readers say you can use coconut oil, but I haven’t tried it.)

Combine dry ingredients and mix very, very well. In a separate bowl, melt the vegan butter, then stir in vanilla and milk. Pour dry into wet and mix again. Form balls or roll out (not too thin), then use a cookie cutter to make shapes. If you want soft cookies, you’ll need to get the dough very cold. (So roll the balls first, then fridge until cold.)  Cook in a 325F preheated oven for 9 minutes. They will look very underdone when you take them out, but that’s ok!! Just let them cool for 5 minutes before touching. (I know it’s hard!)

 Pretty excited about these two recipes. Not sure what I’m going to do about the sugar part because I want to put agave syrup not white sugar….:( Ill figure it out..

*This is how my cookies turned out:

Oatmeal Raisin

Sugar (closest in the picture)

They turned out alright. The oatmeal ones needed a little more sugar (my mom doesn’t think so), but the sugar ones came out better then the oatmeal ones. Hmm I bet I can make both of them better. Next recipe of hers I’m going to try is the Chickpea Blondie’s

 =D

CHEST DAY TODAY! (yes, I usually do with shoulders, but I forgot. SO it gets a day to itself 😉

Chest work out will focus on Lying down chest press/ incline chest press flyes push ups and probably seated press and flyes. BTW I hate doing chest. Just like arms. Hate em. ugh. BTW!

OFFICIALLY 12 WEEKS OUT!

Super excited. I have to email Jennifer about my suit, and get everything written down for my sanity. I at least need an affirmative answer about the suit no more then a month out. I have the shoes, everything else just takes time and preparation! !!!!

SO it’s about 800pm Just got home from shopping with the madre and I ended up baking the oatmeal raisin and the sugar cookies as soon as we got home. We left at around 230- 3pm I want to say. She took me in the chocolate shop………mhm.. then we went to the gap and I found some really cool jean.. i got 3 different sizes, hopefully that will track my progress a little bit.. and here is a cool picture I took…

$45 later.. yeah all on freaking candles. and here is the lovely chocolate store:

It wasn’t even temping. Of course I saw some AMAZING things and my mouth watered as I read the labeled chocolate, but I didn’t feel anxious or a trigger what so ever, which is great. I just remind myself, I DO NOT EAT SUGAR/ PROCESSED FOODS anymore. It helps by saying it when I see something I used to binge on.. Anywho after the mall, I had to go to the store to get a few extra things to make the cookies (applesauce, dates, nut butter ext). & to think I walked into a target to get what I wanted, and walked out with just that is simply amazing, because I love target. I’m finishing up the blog and then studying my little heart out. I haven’t studied in years 😉

Goodnight ❤

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