Figured I would take this time to reflect. One because I usually do on Sundays and two because things are either about to get a lot better or a lot worse. My boyfriend broke up with me today. Okay maybe he didn’t but long story short, we should have a long time ago. He wanted to talk about it, I simply want to wake away liking him as an amazing person that he is rather someone I despise. Who knows but after this post, I am going to bed. My head hurts and I honestly was going to go out and eat a “cheat meal” aka emotional binge and validating it like a boss. But I didn’t. And I am glad that I didn’t. I had an amazing leg work out, 30 minutes of incline walking, and 2 games of basketball in which I can hardly move. It may be a combination of a ridiculous work out and me taking out 2 guys during a game of basketball. Awkward. yet So badass. My battle wounds are getting better day by day. Lol.. kidding.. but seriously let me enjoy it because I could barely walk up and down the stairs yesterday..
Workouts have been on point and so was eating. I ended the four-week no cheat and felt like shit doing it. I don’t know. Thinking going lighter.. or at least find a way I feel less guilty about it. Anyways. Not unhappy at all. My body is definitely making progress and I am super stoked. I just need to stay consistent. It is literally key.
Yesterdays leg work out, which I was not excited to find out they were doing legs when I walked in. They were literally mid hack squat and me almost not making the work out, realized I would not have been unhappy if I did. Lol. But it was awesome. I felt (or didn’t feel lol) things I havent felt in a while. Justine had to literally extend a hand to help me off. It was crazy, exhilarating and hurt so damn bad. But good. ya know? ;p My legs were numb. H actually checked my legs out to make sure I didn’t tear anything. Crazy. Lol.. And to think that was JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE WORKOUT@!!!!!! Anyways we did some leg curls ext jefferson squats which are just annoying.. and finished with jumps squats I believe. It was insane. I chilled for a bit and went to chipotle. I ordered food and yet I was not hungry. I felt like I wanted to puke smelling everything. I ended up enjoying the water more than anything.. So I saved 1/2 of it and drank some Gatorade. I finished with clients, did 30 minutes of incline walking with Cylia and late at night played 2 games of basketball after Todd asked H but he declined. After first so did I but after they played a game he got me to play. It was nuts. My legs hurt so bad. We won. That is all.
I am slowing getting better. Going to lift back tomorrow which I am actually quite happy about. I want to post some progress ISH pictures. Mostly because in this picture I finally went under 150lbs! It was about damn time. Lol. Not that I care but it was a little small hooray type ordeal.
Wednesday: Clearly I haven’t found enough time to get to a wifi connection to post this. I have friday off so I will edit and post. I let this whole break up ruin my work out today. Then I ate some oreos. I realized that I take care of everyone before myself. I am 50% sure I want this break up. I validate binging and eating like shit on any bad situation. enjoy in the time, then hate myself not for eating it because I clearly loved it but hate that I am either behind now on how I want to look or I have more work to do. Knowing that I set myself back is the only reason I feel guilty about eating crap food. MMMMMMM I dont know. I feel sad.
#Americanhorrostory brb ;P
Thursday: Passed out after AHS. I love this show. Slept in, rescheduled the two clients I had. My body hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts. I’ve been crying lately. Speaking of crying.. I was on facebook.. yep reactivated it.. and it was a series of photos that this husband took of his wife while going thru cancer. It was so touching. So sad, but the very last picture was her tombstone that read “I loved it all”, and as I am sitting here hurting over a hard lesson of a break up and this women was battling cancer and still loved life. I instantly was wiping tears from my face and really needed to take some time to reflect on all of this.
I will not allow it to succumb me. You can either crumble or you can conquer and conquer I sure as fuck will.