Tag Archives: Chicago

Project Clean Up!

I finally decided to sit down and write. I don’t know what I am going to write, but I have a crap ton of photos, that will help in describing my life in the last couple of weeks.

Things have been hectic to say the least.. Studying for NASM, going through transitions at work and at home, and just trying to stay on the road I think is best. Its been hard, and I am not afraid or ashamed to say, that even though hesitant at first, I think its best if I talk to someone professionally. I have too many outside biased opinions that I feel cloud my mind at times. I want to sit down and explain myself and figure out if I really am crazy.. Okay a little dramatic, but I do feel it sometimes.

The one thing that is getting me by, is the group of friends I’ve previously mentioned. Having such a tight-knit group is something I can’t explain. I guess I have never experienced this kind of true friendship. Its awesome.. that’s just put it that way.. Not to forget that I have learned SO much.. more than I have in the last 4 years trying to get by on my own. 6 months with these people and I feel like a new and improved person. They make me feel good.. at all times.. I think that’s so important during the stressful times of contest prep, or just simply living the life of someone who works at a gym.. someone who takes it seriously (yes I have to put a disclaimer.. I see your sales guys eating McDonald’s over there)… such a shame.

Any who.. enough lovey dovey shit.. I have been eating like crap for the last week. Burgers.. upon burgers.. ice cream, frozen yogurt, McDonald’s.. You name it, I probably had it. This is a great way to start loading pictures, dont cha think ;P

@SMOKE bbq

@SMOKE bbq

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night... haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night… haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured...

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured…

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and prok fried rice. We. get. down.

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and pork fried rice. We. get. down.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

I suppose I should of started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change... BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure ;)

I suppose I should have started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change… BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips... sweet cream icecream... mmmmmmmm

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips… sweet cream icecream… mmmmmmmm

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this... icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this… icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger....... Cajun fries..... I was in heaven.

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger……. Cajun fries….. I was in heaven.

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

Beginning of the year 2014'

Beginning of the year 2014′

So, as you may know I am an avid believer in eating clean. However, I don’t know exactly what went on here. I didn’t calorie count or track anything (besides the pictures), but you can tell I wasn’t shy about those calories consumed. I enjoyed every last bite of every meal I ate in the last week. That I get, but what confuses me is that I didn’t change my work out regimenย  to adapt to the significantly higher calories in my diet, but I still maintained if not IMPROVED my physique. Yes I am not stage lean-to ANY extent, but I feel like I have actually never looked better. Maybe they really were magic cookies…

Haha inside joke.. I have started a cookie binge and it’s catching on like a virus! I swear they’re not magic! This is not a trend, do NOT follow! haha… I think my body was just going crazy and even it didn’t know what to do with itself..BUT today, I have started from scratch. Chicken and veggies for meeeeeeeee. Lets see what happens.. I mean,, if crap food and no added exercise made me look like this.. I can only imagined if I cleaned things up!

Back to some good read though. I deadlifted 225 no problem. No straps.. just chalk. About 4 months ago, I attempted this. I stood by the bar and couldn’t budge it. I strapped up, had a spot and maybe hit 3 reps. Just the other day, after about 6 reps of continuously adding weight, we threw on 225 just for shits and giggles. Chalked up and repped it out. Literally. It was nuts. So nuts, that I feel that I may have been spotted the whole time. She says all she did was bring my shoulders back but maybe that’s what it took to get it up?? So.. after were all recovered, I want to try it again.. no spot.. no bullshit. Until then… I spotted 225 ๐Ÿ˜‰

….and the best part of my last couple of weeks?

Just so happened to happen about 2 days ago. I was training a client that I have had ever since i made the switch to Waukegan. He was coming in 2 times a week in the morning with another trainer. That trainer changed his schedule and could no longer train him. I met with him, at which point he couldnt go up or down the stairs without holding on due to a bad motorcycle accident. As far as I was told, when he first started with the gym he was had a cane (previously in wheelchair for weeks). Weight loss had always been a goal, but we really needed to focus on reworking the muscles for basic human movements. starting from scratch, we needed to work on our foundation. Slowly but surely all the progress was really made on the scale. Eventually a couple of months in, he was super happy about going up and down the stairs no problem. He literally hustled! It was awesome. Another time he came in and asked to give me a hug. Later explained hunting was no longer painful, No longer took an ATV out, instead walks to where he sets up shop. But what was major BADASS (and I am so sorry I don’t have a video. You can check out Phitness Aesthetics on Facebook or my Instagram, Maristheshit), was when we took me to our little room and said he needed to show me something. I already knew I wanted to video tape it so you hear him saying I’m going to make fun of him! He first walks up and down on both legs over a few step ups. I’m super happy already but again you hear him say, but that isn’t even the best part. YOU SEE THE EXCITEMENT ON HIS FACE, as he attempts to BOX JUMP IT!!! AND HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A couple of times too!!!!!! It was so amazing. I showed it to my co worker who previously trained him and he said he had tears in his eyes, if not everyone who saw it. People were amazed and they didn’t even know it. Ugh! You have to see the video now.. I’ll try to upload it..

Shit it really wont let me.

View this post on Instagram

Meet Doug. He was one of my first clients when I made the move to Waukegan (6months ago). He could barely walk up the stairs without holding on to something (due to a bad motorcycle accident), so you could tell how much of an improvement since then by his excitement in the first part of the video. Little did I know, that wasn't even the half of it. He BOX JUMPED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! I was speechless. When it comes to #fitness, people assume it's all about #weightloss. Now, if done properly (and with a well balanced #nutrition), weight loss should occur… But sometimes our focus should be more on learning (or relearning) basic human movements and correcting any imbalances that may have occurred (during injury or constant bad form ext). A huge thanks to @phitness_aesthetics and the wide range of knowledge this team possesses.

A post shared by Marissa ๐Ÿ’‹ (@maristheshit) on

See if that will work.. If Not.. just google maristheshit or find me on instagram. Any who.. I’m just going to leave on that note.. It was just too awesome not too!

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Highlights!

Highlights of my week (since I fell off the radar. Imagine that):

Thursday:

Leg Day and holy hell was it crazy.
300 squats. Yes, 3 0 0.
50 @ 45lbs
40 @ 65lbs
30 @ 85lbs
20 @ 105lbs
10 @ 125lbs
10 @125lbs
20 @ 105lbs.. ext you get the picture. All the way back up to 50 reps.

It took us a little over an hour to complete. I was exhausted.

-1

I have been tracking my food intake for the last couple days. I have been staying around 2000 calories but haven’t been paying attention to my carbs/protein as much. Starting this week (tomorrow), I will get more detailed about it.

2051 calories
244g carbs
191g protein
36g fat

With 1196 calories burned via exercise.

Friday:

Didn’t have too busy of a day. Most of my clients cancelled. I really didn’t do a full work out either. I attempted to do a little upper body but mentally was just not there. The calories burned (286) were from taking Marley to the park. I did some lunges and a sort little exercise. I didn’t count (or track via my heart rate monitor) the sad excuse for an upper body work out I did before I had my first client. So, nothing too interesting. Nor anything to “highlight”.

1814 calories
185g car
196g protein
42g fat

286 calories burned via exercise.

Saturday:

Woke up pretty early for my first client around 8am. I had one more before I did a spin class at 9am. This is basically my only form of cardio right now. So yes, not as lean as I would like but I am not going to do what I did last contest prep and over due cardio to try to speed up the process.

Here is a picture I took Saturday:

-2

Sitting at 150lbs still. Not losing any weight, but I am not really trying to. Again. have been eating around 2000 calories and only about an hour of cardio. It is very important that the next 15 weeks, that I stay positive and in the day. Last prep, I did tooย  much cardio and lost my ass in fear that my abs wouldn’t show. For anyone doing a competition (actually, for any one starting a new fitness regimen) DO NOT FIGHT THE PROCESS!! Of course we all want to be lean and some of us would like to look “shredded”. It WILL come. Just be patient. I have a lot of room to play around with via my food intake and adding more cardio. You have to understand the basics before you start starving yourself to lose the weight. What ends up happening is you mess up your metabolism and will gain the weight right back. It is a vicious cycle. Do some research, or hire someone to do it for you and take each day as it comes. I promise you that it will be worth it. Ended my work day around 1:30pm.

On my way to the boys house!

On my way to the boys house!

I got home around 2 and took a shower before I headed to the boyfriend’s house. Actually, I took a shower and slept for an hour before I headed to the boyfriend’s house. He had a big party to go to that I was actually quite anxious about going too. I am not a big drinker (actually when I do drink, I don’t get drunk. So Please don’t pass the bottle, pass a motherfucking cupcake. Way worth the calories than)! I actually don’t like the whole partying lifestyle and quite frankly, just not my thing. So, that being said it was hard to see him enjoying his liquor as much as he was. I am however, not his mother and although I spoke my mind, I felt like I had no right. I want him to have fun.. but I don’t trust a lot about that lifestyle. Acting way different drunk than sober. Getting loud and acting like his friends but after a few talks with a new client of mine, and his and I’s tispy talk, I am no longer going to worry (yes, WAY easier said then done) about our relationship. I feel like I have finally found a happy medium and will continue to stay positive and pray. I don’t know. But before I choke on my words, It wasn’t that bad. Granted it was supposed to be WAY bigger than it was, I didn’t have as bad of a time as I thought I would sober. Just sat there drinking my water ๐Ÿ™‚ and eating of course. Though, not everything I wanted. There was 3 different cakes, and dips and great freakin stuff! But I held my own and my lovely boyfriend fed me meat all night. I added in my calories (although I guessed) and it came out to be like 700 calories worth of meat. Def don’t think that’s legit but whatever ๐Ÿ™‚ Still met my goal.

Well.. only because by the time I took 3 bites of his oreo cake (WHICH BTW WAS AMAZING), it was passed midnight. So I added the 150 calories of cake to the next day.

1990 Calories
158g carbs
133g protein
89g fat

317 calories burned via spin class.

Sunday Funday:

We didn’t get home till around 4am after making a pit stop at a secret fishing spot (he caught 2 bass pretty quickly and randomly) and at his buddies house. We slept in till around 12:30 ( I know!! :/) haha and headed downtown Chicago for some sushi. Knowing this, I was a little sad because it is my favorite sushi place and I really wanted to stay on my 4 week no cheat challenge. But when we got there, the owner who is one of our good friends picked out a dish that wasn’t on the menu and ordered it for me. It was basically chicken and veggies with brown rice (sauce on the side, though I just used soy sauce). I was super happy! And to think I thought all I would have would be edamame. Blah! After that, we drove home. He felt bloated (per usual) and I felt fine. It’s a whole different story when you don’t eat till you’re full. It almost feels good. Not to forget, that by 6pm I still had my abs. Hell yes! All thanks to a little challenge I created for myself. Only 10 days though!! Just 10 days and I can enjoy a full on cheat meal! So glad its my birthday too. It will be a double whammie!! yes.. I just said whammie.

 

Dragonfly in Chicago!

Dragonfly in Chicago!

We laid in bed for a bit, while the food digested. Took the dog for a walk and I left shortly after. I have to be up at 5am tomorrow and well.. it never gets any easier. Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day, but I guess it is what it is. Hopefully have a nice little upper body work out!

1795 calories (although I MAY eat another meal. I’m not sure).
167g carbs
86g protein (fail)
57g fat

0 exercise. My lovely day off!

Time to snooze!

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Monday 36/83 (2/11)

I totally jinxed myself.

Saturday I went off my rocker. No, I jumped off that bitch.

Oh not following me? I “binged”. Not to the extent of which I have before but definitely consumed a shit load of calories thanks to none other than myself. All I did was sleep and eat chocolate and I would give it all back than have to endure the stomach pains all day sunday. After 2 hour increments of going to the bathroom, I woke up with a 4 month prego food baby looking stomach. I couldn’t even function right. I went to a couple of stores with my mom and had to leave early because the stomach pains just didn’t want to go away. So when I got home I chugged pepto and tried drinking some water. Nothing really helped except a heating pad for about 30 minutes.

I am so dumb. Literally a fucking idiot. Yes, I tell my clients not to worry and not to be upset after a binge or even a legit cheat meal but now I see how it’s so easily said then done. I feel worthless. I already have my doubts about this contest and I just threw it away for a day. Yes a day, so yes I sound like an idiot but I also feel like one. I have yet to do this the entire prep but it’s still no excuse. I have about 6.5 weeks left and here I go doing the destructive things I have done in the past. But it ends here. Maybe I just needed that, maybe it will work out for me in the end. I technically didn’t have a cheat meal last week so … a possible validation? Lol.. no.

That’s what you call an excuse ladies and gentleman!

But I am over it.

Planned my next couple of weeks which will be harder but I really want to start leaning out now. Hopefully my little abs want to make an appearance some time in the near future ๐Ÿ™‚

So, even after my baby food drama the boyfriend and I went to sushi. LOL. Hmmm… rice when already bloated? Whatever, it is what it is. We did finish off some fried ice cream because apparently I am just a born fat ass at heart. No lie. We ended up just getting a movie and relaxing the rest of the night (aka I passed out).

Things are starting to get a little nerve-racking lately. By the end of the week things will have drastically changed (for the better, I hope) and change is hard to deal with at times. He (the bf) did mention how maybe all of this will make us work harder into moving in together and how he doesn’t feel any of this will change us. It is always nice to have a little reassurance..ย  so I am starting not to worry about us that much any more. I just can’t waste time on the unknown. I must have faith that we will be okay at the end of the day, because as much as I preach, everything will be okay in the end. Everything IS done for a reason, and anything meant to be will find a way. All I do know is that I love this man very much and frankly, that’s all that matters.

For now, I want to focus on myself. Get MY shit together and have everything else fall into place.

I have faith.

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Weekend Recap

Where do I even begin?

Blueberry Pancakes w/ Walden Farms Pancake syrup

Friday Night- Driving to RSD

My boo and his boo ๐Ÿ˜‰

Showing off my picture taking skills ๐Ÿ˜‰

Saturday Morning- Pre Work Out

Boat Fail

Picture fucking perfect ๐Ÿ™‚

Sunday Funday =D

 

Friday after work the boo and I went to RSD- dragstrip. Had a great time.. he raced his car with a new tranny and hit 13.0 (so proud of you boo).. He was super excited and it was ADORABLE.. I also ate a burger. It was great.
Saturday Morning rolled around and he left pretty early to do a job while I got my ass to the gym… we all know I am uncomfortable as fuck (or insecure I suppose) about being in a bikini in front of a shit ton of people.. Figured I would of been fine.. had a flat stomach when I woke up..abs were slightly visible.. blahblahblah got a leg workout in and drank my normal post workout protein shake but as the hours went by I got more and more uncomfortable. Go figure.
I told my boy the day before that if I don’t feel like going (aka I look like shit) that I still want him to go and enjoy himself. He knows how I am and how I get and I appreciate it to the fullest, but doesn’t mean that he needs to put his life on the back burner just because I don’t know how to just go with the flow… buttttt I ended up going and still had a great time. My boss came out with his boat and another co worker had a friend out there too. It was hot but not sunny music blaring and smiles all around. After 4ish hours went by I started getting a little too drunk for my liking.. I told my boy to go get his keys so I could get away from the music (head started to spin).. as I was walking up to the car he thought I was mad at him (miscommunication on my part) and we got into a littler argument about looking at girls? uhh.. I was silent during this whole thing so when he started throwing shit around I obviously got aggravated.. I don’t give a FUCK who he looks at.. as long as I am not cheated on for once in my life, I am all gravy.
So shit went south, I left to go back to the boat to get my shit, came back and waited a little bit (both a little tispy).. then headed to go get more burgers. lmao. I don’t know why but I have been craving burgers for the longest time. Ate outside and just talked.. pretty much about how in love we are with each other.. and its true. I can’t even say it enough..
ANYWAYYYYYYSSSSSSSS

We got home, he wanted to go out (sorry boo) but when I drink too much I cant be around people :/ I told him to go (not like i wanted him too because I don’t want to be in a house that’s not mine alone but whatever.. hate ruining peoples plans) but he didn’t. We got home, I laid in bed and that was it. Passed the fuck out.

Woke up at 930am lounged around for a bit then headed to TGIF with the boo because apparently I eat what I want. Ive been super stoked to go there for some odd reason. Orders nachos (not that great) but had this cheese dip that was flame.. maxed the fuck out.. Ordered teryaki skewers with sweet potato fries.. ate my bf’s regular fries though and took most of my lunch home.. After we were in a food coma we napped.. for hours. Woke back up again and I left shortly after. Pretty much did the same thing and was lazy the rest of the weekend.. again.. go figure.

Monday morning (today), over slept.. kept hitting snooze but was ever so comfortable. Ill start my early morning cardio sessions tomorrow. No joke. I have less than 3 weeks till my birthday with a few pounds to play with (id prefer to lose my fat into muscle then just lose it altogether).. I can do this. No eating shitty, no alcohol drinking, just clean good fun ๐Ÿ™‚ I have a super sexy dress I want to wear and Ill be damned if I don’t feel fabulous in it ๐Ÿ˜‰

 

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Some sort of growth, right?

“When I see these pictures I often find myself thinking, what else have they had to give up in order to attain that physique? What relationships have suffered? What other areas of their life have they not had the opportunity to cultivate? What would that person ever do if circumstances (such as age, illness, some personal tragedy) turned the tide and they couldnโ€™t maintain that image anymore? Would their identity be lost? Would others no longer be impressed by them?”

I recently saw this on someones blog, and holy cow.
I haven’t thought about my life without fitness or a healthy lifestyle till I came across that paragraph and wow was I lost for words.
My life has consisted of years of self abuse. Eating disorder after eating disorder. Diet pill after diet pill. Work out after work out.
This is all I know. I know weight loss. I know self hate. I know unhealthy. I know healthy.
Now.. I don’t know a life without constantly thinking about working out, hating myself, and food as much as I’ve lived this one. lol. Whatever I am doing.. surfing the net, posting fitness tips, pinching extra fat on my things, looking in the mirror, smelling a bomb ass slice of pizza, salivating over pinterest.. literally.. not a day.. not an hour.. not even a min goes by without me thinking about “fitness”.. So what would happen? What would change if I no longer could do the things I do on a day-to-day basis? What if I couldn’t work out?
The only thing I can pinpoint that I know 100% to be true.. is as long as I didn’t put on weight (or get what I feel s my uncomfortable zone) then I would try to make the best out of the situation.. but if the weight starting creeping and I wasn’t able to be active I think would ruin me. The idea of me being fat… FEELING fat hurts my heart. No joke.
Actually writing this out makes me sound selfish. Fuck. Seriously.. lets move on..
SO reading this on Friday guess what I did?
I had one of the best weekends of my life.
It didn’t start off so well but it definitely made me realize that I wouldn’t be lost without my fitness lifestyle.. that’s not something I focus on. It is literally my outward appearance. I NEED to look good (or at least THINK I look good lol). I like seeing collar bones and broad shoulders. I love having an ass but a flat stomach. I want my legs more defined… bigger even. Before I wouldn’t IMAGINE being “thicker” (I fucking hate that word). But in reality this is comfort. Healthy IS happy.
So, since I really don’t want to make this super long I won’t go much into detail (I ramble anyways so feel free to speed read).. I got home friday night knowing I wasn’t going to work out. I wanted to rest so that’s exactly what I planned on doing. I had saved these pre made smores the entire week and really wanted it right then and there. So what did I do? I had it.. Do you see a pattern in my decision-making? lol. So I was talking to my mom and she interrupted and said, should you be eating that?ย 
Fuck. I literally snapped. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time she’s made a comment like this, however it’s usually when I really shouldn’t be eating it (during contest prep). So I suppose I could understand.. but what the f u c k ? It kind of hurt. I ended up trying to explain how I felt and she got weird and didn’t understand so I walked out and called her a fucking asshole.ย 
ย 
1. Yes I was wrong for calling my mother an asshole.
2. This exact question, from her and an ex boyfriend, has started binges. Consider it a “trigger”.
ย 
We pretty much didn’t talk all night. I think she texted me something but my phone ended up dying. I passed out trying to charge my computer so it could charge my phone.

Saturday Morning..

.. I woke up feeling pretty good. I made breakfast, and cleaned up a bit. I had plans to go to Ribfest with a few friends but it was still pretty early (damn you internal clock). So I ended up putting a blanket outside and trying to tan. About 15 minutes in he calls me and I plan to leave within the hour. Everything pretty much goes as planned. I get to his house and we take the convertible down towards the city. tragic wasn’t that bad but I was stoked to be in the sun tanning with the top down lol, so I could care less. We see a carnival on the side of the highway and I made a comment about exes saying they’d win me a bear but I end up winning it myself. So what did he do? Took a detour parked the car and we didn’t leave the carnival till he won me a bear. Oh and eat a funnel cake too. So we hoped back in the car, got to the fest and pretty much gained weight. We ate fried oreos, ribs, more ribs and more bbq lol. After we walked around a bit, he got a few calls to go to the race track in Joliet. We dipped and ended up staying at the track for at least 5 hours. We drank margaritas and I ate someones french fries.. and popcorn. lol. Blahblahblah we end up driving home but ended up stopping at a friend’s house to drink. And drink I did.ย 
ย 
Woke up in a bed on..

Sunday AM..

.. Up early as hell no hangover. Success. 11am his friend calls him to go with him and his gf to breakfast. We drive about 20 minutes to a breakfast place named Ellies (no pictures because phone was dead). I think it would have been a lot better had I known what the ingredients were like. They were fresh but wasn’t expecting it. Like for example I ordered a skillet with green pepper… however they were the huge peppers and not cut down (they were literally the size of a mini twix lol)… but then I took no joke less than 10 bites and I was full. I was just dehydrated like a mother fucker. So I just chugged diet coke and water (bad idea btw). We leave and get dropped off not knowing what are plans were next. I sit in the backyard and put suntan lotion on. He gets a call and we roll over to his friend’s house. Sun tanning and drinking for hours. It was so chill. Literally stopped everything to go to Trader Joes for Mochi balls.. lol…. I think in total we had like 8 boxes.. They were defiantly weird lol. After we bail we go back to his house and sit and chill till I realize that I wanted Cold Stone. So what did we do? We got Cold stone lol. Fuck yeah.
So. that was pretty much straight my weekend. Now.. this wasn’t anything special.. No, I didn’t win the lottery or get a new car. I didn’t work out once and I ate like shit the entire weekend (no I do not recommend this. One or two cheat meals a week. NOT cheat DAYS!) Yes, I wasn’t AS comfortable and no I didn’t really want to walk around in a bikini, but for once I wasn’t constantly thinking about fitness, the gym, working out or fucking protein powder. I was LIVING. As simple as my weekend was, it was unbelievably relaxing. I felt like I took a mini vacation from myself.

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Day 15 F A T

Sorry for all the swearing ahead of time. I AM NOT HAPPY &&

F U C K

Dilemma so far?

So my mom and I went to the mall yesterday and I got 3 pairs of jeans, ALL different sizes. I COULDN’T EVEN FUCKING FIT INTO THE BIGGEST FUCKING SIZE.

so.. just imagine my fucking morning. I no joke blame it on my ass. Here is a recent pic of this nonstop growing ass of mine:

LIKE W T F ? !

NOT my house and no that’s NOT a fucking cat.

and NO these were not photoshopped, even though I was browsing my blog and they FER SURE looked photoshopped. But they are NOT. I pinky promise.

BUT today I start cardio so that’s something to look forward too (not technically but you know lol).

On my mood:

I am not really depressed, or feeling THAT down, but it sucks. I actually want to say that whenever I felt fat, or unattractive I would binge (weird right, because binge’ing is going to make me soooo much skinnier..LOL).. but I didn’t even think to cheat, even when my mom randomly and coincidentally asked “so how do your pants fit marissa?”ย  great mom, just great.

I couldn’t even answer her.

So this is what I am struggling with today. I feel fine, and actually I feel really pretty.

Until I feel/notice my muffin top.

830am Had my Myofusion and PB2 protein shake.

10am I’m going to snack in an hour or so. My stomach is getting pretty hungry but I need to go to Whole Foods to get a chicken breast. I don’t think I have enough food for today because I wanted to get the fuck out of the house because I was going to get bitchy. I’m just focusing today, knowing it will be a good day.

1130am Went to Whole Foods in Chicago and it was A W E S O M E. IT WAS HUGE! I ate 2 pieces of honey flank steak and got a piece of turkey that has spinach provolone and tomatoes in it. Pretty excited about that;) lol. It was nice to get out of the office for 2 hours =D

Looks A LOT better then it tasted (AND it was like $6)

As for the gym later tonight (730pm), I am going to do back instead of legs, because my legs are KILLING me still. Training schedule for this week:

  • Monday: Back
  • Tuesday: Legs
  • Wednesday: OFF (for now)
  • Thursday: Shoulders/chest
  • Friday: Legs w/ calves
  • Saturday: Arms
  • Sunday: Cardio/Plyo.
ย So I got home pretty fast today (530pm), walked Marley and baked some sweet potato fries. THESE WERE NOT ALL NATURAL.. they said they were but they had quite a bit of ingredients, so I will eat the rest of the bag (THEY ARE DELICIOUS) and be done with them. I think for lent wednesday I will give up soda.. Remember I was going to today, but I remembered ash wednesday or whatever is coming up. I CAN DO IT!!!!!!. Officially 1 month and 2 weeks since I quit smoking. HELL YES!
700pm Finish eating 3oz sweet potato and some meatloaf, waited 45min and headed to the gym.
Oh I did have 2 “sugar cookies”. LOL.
I got to the gym at 820pm and hit:
Assisted pull ups for 5 sets.
Row for 4 sets
Back Ext 3-4 sets (I forgot)
Lat pulldown 4 sets
A different row set up 2 sets
Treadmill 20 min level 10-12 Speed 2.5-3.1
Finally added cardio.. :(:( and super pissed there were no stair masters. I SAID CARDIO SHOULD ONLY BE THE STAIRMASTER (in my case) and they weren’t getting off anytime soon. There were only 2 because the 3 was broken. Pieces of shit. ugh. but whatever.. In about 2 months ill be going from 20 min of cardio to 2 hours of cardio lol. CANT WAIT
930pm I had a protein shake (myofusion and pb2 again) for after the workout.
10pm Studying for 30-45min then IM HITTING THE SACK! ugh can’t wait to lay and bed, stretch and get some well needed rest ๐Ÿ™‚

And the motivation for the day:


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