Tag Archives: chicken breast

Day 81 I want carbs.

“Officially” 2 weeks out.

(“officially” because technically I am 2 weeks out on Saturday, but I won’t be working out or doing much of anything really.. )

How am I feeling?  Like I want to get this all over with so I can finally breathe and think about something other then myself.  Not even that.. I am stalking the SHIT out of people who are competing and currently dieting for shows, and I am continuously comparing myself and that’s the LAST thing anyone should do, competing or not. 2 weeks. I can do this. It’s been over 2 months, and I am bitching about 2 weeks left? I need to get my head out of my ass.

The Food Log/ The Workout..

I ate great all day, a little less then I would of liked in the morning but no big deal. I did “overeat” by eating a piece of chicken and 1/2 a turkey burger but I suppose it was 2 hours after my last feeding, so I’ll leave the validation there.

I didn’t do morning cardio, but I went to the gym with Taylor at 830pm.

We did a little chest, then went and did 4 rounds of jump squats, bosu jumps, and advanced planks.

Then finished with 3 sets of planks, and 60 minutes of cardio.

Day 81 in Pictures..

  1. After the kids went to school, I made breakfast at my bosses house.. (spinach tasted like ass).
  2. I had to fight like hell and fighting like hell made me what I am.
  3. Whole Foods- Second run of the day.. (first trip cost me $25 for lunch), this one was about $52.. Detox tea, lemon, cranberry juices are for the detox in a week… coconut milk (for amazing whipping cream later), and about 3lbs of meat 🙂
  4. Protein Pancake (Just muscleegg and pb2).
  5. 1000 followers on Instagram ❤
  6. Taylors doggie.
  7. My mom grilled for me while I was away burning calories 🙂

So today was a little long, tomorrow will be even longer.. Had to leave at 630am to take my bosses kids to school. Missed cardio in the morning, but I WAS DEAD. and you know what.. I don’t care, obviously my body needed it.. because I would of been up regardless of how unhappy I may be at the time. Anywho did my day to day shit and got home around 630pm because I stopped at Whole Foods to get some meat for my mom to grill while I work out.  I did go to Libertyville Xsport to meet up with Taylor (who is literally going to be my new best friend), got into a little drama* and was in bed by midnight. Then knocked the FUCK out.

* My ex co workers boyfriend went up to Taylor and started a little small talk with her regarding something about tanning (idk I was working out, so I only heard a little bit of the convo).. so while on the treadmill I saw him again, so it reminded me to text her since I haven’t heard from her in awhile.. the convo went a little like this..

Hey, youre boyfriend is at xsport!
Her: Who is this new phone sorry
Marissa
Her: oh hey! which one?
Libertyville
Her: Did he say anything to you?
No to my friend though
Her: Oh being flirty?
no, just something about tanning I dont know..
Her: Oh okay, so how are you……. blahblahblah

Taylor and I were walking out and as we split ways, I see Nicole’s boyfriend sitting on the curb, and as soon as he sees me he comes up to me, IN MY FACE, and starts bitching at me because I’m causing drama and I said that he was flirting with Taylor and all this fucking bullshit. I was like WTF? I was like are you for real right now? Grow the fuck up. I didn’t do or say shit except  hey your boyfriend is at X sport. Told her you didn’t do shit, check her phone you fucking pansy (insert a SHIT ton more foul language).. I was so pissed at this point.. then he says something like “I don’t want to see you back here.” Are you fucking kidding me right now? UNbelieveable. Lmfao.

Yeah, great relationship that must be.

Anywho.. hope everyone stayed true to themselves and their goals today!

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78 :(

Ohhhh Monday.

6am Cardio
9-5
Work
6-9 Nutrition Class

The Food Log..

8am Quest Bar
11am Blackened Chicken Breast
230pm Ground Turkey w/ Spinach
6pm Chicken Breast w/ Veggies
9pm 2 Mini Ground Turkey Filets

The Workout..

6am 30 Minutes Cardio

Day 78 in Pictures..

Today was just another day. Not feeling too good. Looked at myself and I do NOT look like how I should for my contest. Not going to give up thought, I have been training for months and I lost a lot of weight and I look TEN times better then how I looked before I started all this. I may not look how I want now, but I will. This is my lifestyle now, just sucks I put pressure on myself to lose the weight in a timely manner. Ugh.  I have to stay positive.  Sorry this blog was so short. 😦

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Day 65 disappointing ..

Update: Just posting pictures. No work out today. I have missed a total of 4 workouts and I am a solid month out tomorrow. I haven’t been feeling well and if I can’t get my workouts in because of the pain I am going to the doctor. Ate a little extra carbs last night, feel SEMI guilty, but def didn’t eat enough all day. Please don’t let tomorrow be day #3

I think all I had was my protein shake in the morning. Some chicken and veggies. And protein pancakes. I missed about 2 meals feeling like shit.

Day 64 in Pictures

  1. How I measured myself for my bikini. lol. this and a rope. then when I got in the bathroom I had no pen, but mascara in my pocket. You can’t really see the numbers but their there lol.
  2. Finalizing and paying. Done and done.
  3. Told you I wasn’t feeling good.
  4. Able trying to feed me (the BEST) cookies ever.
  5. Drinking tea and pep to. 😦 a cidddddddd sucks.
  6. Lunch. Eat your colors.
  7. Propel. I was locked out of my house and had to do something. So I got drinks because I have to give up carbonation soon.
  8. I made protein pancakes and went to bed. Can you believe theres only like 10g of carbs (I ate a lot of them. I think I have a picture lol but they didn’t look pretty like this one). Ingredients: 1/3c Muscle egg, 1/3c oatmeal and 1/3c cottage cheese.

 

So far tuesday has been alright. The morning wasn’t so good, but it seemed to be fine through out the day. My stomach has been acting up pretty bad lately (I have severe acid reflux) and had to get pepto earlier today. I missed 3 workouts so far. THREE. Not 1. Not 2, but 3. I dont feel that bad (bc I could be missing workouts AND eating like shit) but I just LITERALLY feel like shit lol. No big deal, I am sure it wont last forever.

Triple Chocolate Chunk Muffin Knock-Offs of Whole Food’s 6 Dollar per 4 Chocolate Chunk VitaTop Muffins

Ingredients:

1 3/4 c oats

  •  3 egg whites
  •  3/4 cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
  • 1 tsp. vanilla extract
  • 1/2 cup plain Greek yogurt (or regular plain low fat yogurt)
  • 1/2 tsp cream of tartar (or 1-1/2 Tbsp. vinegar)
  • 1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
  • 1-1/2 tsp. baking soda
  • 1/4 tsp. salt
  • 1 cup hot water
  • 1 cup sugar substitute (like Splenda granular) OR 1/4 cup + 2 tbs stevia
  • 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (or use white chocolate or peanut butter chips!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line 2 (12-cup) muffin pans with foil cupcake liners, or spray muffin tin with non-stick cooking spray. Set aside.
In a blender, (or food processor), mix all of the ingredients together, except for the chocolate chips. Blend until oats are ground and mixture is smooth.
Place mixture in a bowl and gently stir in 1/2 of the chocolate chips (set the rest aside). Scoop mixture into prepared muffin pans.
Place muffins tins in the oven for 10 minutes.  After 10 minutes, remove muffins from the oven (but don’t shut oven off), and distribute the other half of the chocolate chips on top of each muffin.
Place  the muffins back into the oven and bake for an additional 2-5 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. *Note, you could skip this step by putting all of the chips in the batter, and baking the muffins for 12-15 min straight, but this method gives the muffins the traditional ‘VitaTop Muffin’ look with the chocolate chips on top!
Cool muffins before removing from pan. ENJOY!!!
Servings: 12 Big Muffins or 24 Smaller Muffins
Calories: 116 Calories Per Muffin or 58 Calories Per Muffin

Found this on pinterest. CANNOT wait to try it.

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Day 54 The good life is one inspired by love and guided by knowledge.

BOULDAH SHOULDAH

Wanted to hit it hard today because I was kind of running low on time (was getting to be 8pm, gym closes at 10pm).

Seated Shoulder Press x3

30lbs (each arm) x 12reps
15lbs x fail

Lateral Raise to Front Raise x3

15lbs x 12reps
15lbs x fail

Incline Flye x4

15lbs x 10reps
15lbs x fail

Seated Cable Chest Press

I actually don’t know the exact weight (8) x4
x 10reps

45 Min Cardio Elliptical 10+ level

25 Min Cardio Treadmill 7+level

Day 54 in pictures..

  1. Protein Shake in the morning =D
  2. A picture I had someone photo shop to prove a point.
  3. My chicken breast on the go.
  4. My date night friday.
  5. I was only going to do the last 5 minutes on the treadmill, then I realized LA closed in 15 min….so I overachieved like a boss.

Today was a pretty good day as in regards to eating. Period was pretty bad (cramps, bloating), but other than that every things all good in the hood. Some personal issues arising (good and bad), but like I said in my last blog, can’t say too much for now. Will expose later :):):):):):):)

** Btw sorry my blogs have been boring the last week or so. I have no idea how I want my blog to look, how I should post things…. so please bare with me.. I will do a FAQ soon, so if you have a questions, don’t hesitate to ask.

Have a great weekend press people!!

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Day 46 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Woke up at 7am =D Finally.

But never take a bubble bath right when you wake up. I wanted to stay there forever.

830am Vanilla Whey, Mini Banana, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 1TBS coconut shreds, 4 ice cubs. (IN LOVE WITH THIS RECIPE AND ONLY HAVE 2 MORE WEEKS TO ENJOY IT!!!!!) 😦

10am Was already starving, snacked on almonds.

1230pm Went to Whole Foods downtown because I needed to pick up some shit for my boss.

Seriously.. even this dude said something about it.. He has me go pick up shit from random people he  messages on craigslist… Whatever.. So as weird as it was, I said fuck it and and just typed in directions on how to get home.. and before you know it I was on North Ave where the Whole Foods was..

I got 1/4lb flank steak and  grilled cuban mojo (LOL) chicken breast.. $12.00 later.. lol.. So I ate the flank steak in the car headed home.

4pm Munched on some almonds because I am literally starving all the damn time. I need to start drinking more water. Ate this chicken breast from whole foods like stated earlier and it was delicious! 🙂 I took a pic of the ingredients too..

I made the 60 second chocolate cake because I was so needing something sweet and I really didnt want to binge.. I’ve been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good ❤ ❤ ❤

I finished up part 1 of my homework.. Didn’t take long..  it was a discussion on 3 things we liked from this article that actually had to do with everything that intrigues me lol..

730pm Got ready for the gym..

BACCCK ATTACCCKKKKKK..

8pm Got to the gym.

Started with lat pulldowns.

Back Ext 3×10 reps 45lbs

Single Arm Row 45-60lbs

Underhand Row Maxed out at 120lbs.

30 Min Cardio

 

930pm Went home and made a protein shake. Lol.. I put applesauce and cranberries in it.. lmao.

10-12pm Went out and chit chatted with a few friends. Ate 8 almonds on the way home.

Rest of the night was whatever.. Kinda feeling a lil down in the dumps coming along.. hmmmmmmm weather…always being busy, never actually getting anything done, getting bitched at about my dog, eating late the fuck at night… getting high, needing to change some things in my life, constantly bitching and thinking the world revolves around me, wanting to be a better person, has sudden urges to cry, not depressed, just stressed and thinks crying lets a lot of emotion and fear go. 😦

 

I’ll figure it out.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 45 Boring Post.. move along.

Woke up late again. My own fault. Didn’t get to bed till 3am. Woke up at 7:50am (I usually leave at 8am).

830am Protein Shake: Vanilla Whey Coconut Shred, 1cup coconut milk 1/2 banana and ice YUM ❤

9-12pm Just snacking on almonds. I forgot all my food and I couldn’t leave.. 😦

207pm I had a brat. At least 250 calories.

425pm Headed to Whole Foods need 2 meals for tonight. I have a test today in Psych class, so I get to leave right after I am done.. shouldn’t be more then an hour which is nice. I really want to get a good work out in and I’m SUPER tired today.

Ate chicken breast in car……again……..

SQUUUUUATTTTSSSS LUNGGGESSSS AND LEG EXTSSS!!!! ❤

sorry.. super excited.

6-730pm Class started and we immediately started taking the test.. I honestly think I did OK.. I turned in some extra credit so that should help :):):)

Went home and ate some nachos 🙂 before legs.. A serving and half of pita chips (natural), ground turkey, onions, fat free moz cheese and a tablespoon of lite sour cream. SO GOOD.. Went  upstairs and chilled a bit then I started getting tired for some reason (actually I’ve been tired all day).. so i HAD to get up.

Got to the gym at 8pm.

Started with

S Q U A T S!!!!

45lbs on each side… didn’t think it was that much actually hahahaha and KILLED IT.. didnt do as many reps but i got down.. did this 3 times through.

so 90lbs x 8-10reps x 3

then I got interrupted by some dude. He was actually really nice but just an awkward conversation.. asked if I was married, with any one, here with anyone, do I have time to go out, can he take me out, like what the fuck.. I had to remove my headphones AND stop my workout.. do people not know how some work outs are.. no rest, little rest, ext? what the F U CK .. not to mention his friends were all like an arms length away and making fun of him, but like I saw he was really sweet so I wasn’t bitchy.. Though I did say I’d call him when I was done working out.. I just wanted to finish my sets 😦

After he left me be,

Took off 40 lbs and did 10reps at 50lbs 2 times through.

Lunges

40 lb x 100reps  <—- YUP!!!!

At this point I was DRENCHED in sweat.. Like in my eyes couldn’t see type shit.. haha.. so I moved into the studio to do my planks so I could cool off/rest a little bit..

but in between my planks I did jump squats lol.. I just wanted to MOVE!! 🙂 so after a totaling of 5 min 30 sec of planks.

Jump Squats \/

I would perfer not leaning so forward, and get your ass down (more of a 90 degree)..

Then moved to

Leg Extensions

95 lbs-130lbs 6-12 reps.

and I was DONE!

Got Gas. then ate the left over turkey and had a cup of unsweetened applesauce then 30 min later I was starving so I ate some bad ass oatmeal.. it had coconut milk, coconut shreds, dark chocolate chips and cocoa, and cacao nibs 🙂

10am Got in bed and finally fell asleep at midnight. WHICH IS EARLY FOR ME LATELY!!!!!

Goodnight ❤

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Day 40 FRIDAY’s Blog (WP is not being nice to me).

Day 40. phew… its been 40 days of no processed foods/fast food/anything other then WHOLE foods.. Isn’t that crazy??

&& I am almost 3 months free of smoking as well. YEAH buddy <– simple things in life bring me joy now 😉

930am Protein Shake. Probiotic Myofusion (again, tastes like shit), superblend (macs,hemp,something else can’t remember) and a little bit of coconut oil ice and coconut milk I think.. fuck.. SEE THIS IS WHY I WRITE DOWN AS I GO hahah whatever give or take 50 calories.

10am got to work.

130pm Leftover steak (6oz) and broccoli, a little late on eating today. From here and till 6pm I did have a Lara Bar though because my STOMACH WAS ON FIRE…. wtf is with these hunger pains??????????

6pm Left Work, headed to Whole Foods because I ran out of food and I really wanted chicken for this weekend. Spent $15 on 3 pieces of chicken.

Awesome.

6pm-845pm I was a bad girl. I didn’t eat 😦 I was having a heart to heart about everything and time just slipped away. Car ride home ate a cold chicken breast lol.

930pm  Arrived home.

1005pm Arrived at LA Fitness.

1006pm Realized LA Fitness closes at 10pm. Can’t miss a workout.. or if I did it would just be an excuse.. and its a friday.. and we already know I don’t have a life.. so…..

1015pm Drive to Xsport in Libertyville. Beginning of my little adventure my gas light goes on… Figured I can make it to work on an empty tank I can make it 20 min down the road.

1040pm Arrive at Xsport Fitness. Realize I do not have my debit card nor cash to pay the $10 to get into Xsport.
Call Ashley and ask her if she still works out at Xsport. Hang up.
Use her name to get in.

 

Back Day Today!

 

Started with Assisted Pull ups Supersetted with Lat pulldowns.

110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10reps
110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10 reps
95lbs 8 reps – 80lbs 8 reps
95lbs 6 reps – Then some guy sat right behind me. So I moved.

 

To the Single Arm Row.

50lbs 10reps each arm
50lbs 10reps each arm
40lbs 12reps each arm
30lbs 12reps each arm

 

Moved to the Bent Over Row (cables actually).

90lbs 12reps
100lbs 10reps
110lbs 8reps
120lbs 8reps
130lbs 6reps

11pm Realize that my gas light went off, after I already drove 10-12 miles.. and I don’t have any cash on me.

11-1130pm Tell _____ that he might have to pick me up if a reserve tank can go 40 miles. IF not, plan on coming out to LV to help me out lol.

Finish up 30 min on stair master.

1201pm Made it safely and actually got home. Made 6oz ground turkey, 1/2 banana (WHAT ITS MY WEEKEND!!) :):):)

1237pm Finishing blog. Going to bed. SEEEEE YAAAAA. Can’t wait to turn my alarm clocks off ❤

Goodnight ❤

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Day 38 Avere fiducia, and that I will…

730am Woke up to drama. and BAD hunger pains.

Made a protein shake. Strawberry Banana.

8-830am Sipped the shake while drove to work.

9am Got to work.

905am Found out my “best friend” told the guys I work with, who I hooked up with last summer.

Wouldn’t of been that big of a deal, but you don’t know the guys I work with. Prior to this, I am currently being made fun of for a “relationship” which is just a friendship with another co worker. So this just takes the cake.

Funny part is, I would of never of known my “bff” was talking shit if Mike (who actually thought I was mad at him) texted me with “I tried to get nikki to stop” LMFAO…. didn’t even know what he was talking about.

now I do.

So last night they were all out drinking and I got brought up about how I went with Greg to a party last year.. well. nikki mentioned something about how I hooked up with Greg but we didn’t have sex.. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.. okay well eric goes and texts greg and says what happened with you and marissa, we already have confirmed data so just tell us. Here is the convo below..

So then greg tries and get ahold of me but cant because I was passed out..

So this morning when greg woke up he tried explaining what happened and I already blew up at nikki bc like I said SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO KNEW ANYTHING!!!!!…. so yeah.. well..I go up to eric and I said was it greg or nikki who told you.. he gave me some BULLSHIT story and I just said forget it and walked away…

Well.. matt confirmed that I was brought up nikki mentioned my hook up eric texted greg greg texted me mike was there and tried stopping nikki from being a backstabbingtwofacedbitch. then proceeded to say how I give pics to everyone blahblahblah.. and goes and tries to deny it through text.. I have a screen shot of that as well.. lmfao.. here you go..

 

 

Dude seriously.. wtf. I am done. I don’t need this drama or this extra stress.. its CHILDISH and after everything weve been through together.. After people giving her shit for “sleeping with eric,” or being a “home wrecker” lmfao.. did I go and blurt shit out?????? and to think she was the ONLY one who knew….wow…. but everything happens for a reason and I am glad it happened so I can lose her as a friend. I knew that people thought she was two faced but I never thought she would do it to me.. OLWEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL…I don’t need people like that in my life. I’d forgive her but I don’t need that negativity in my life.. 😦 I have enough of my own..

So thatsthat. Deleted all my co workers from facebook.. actually blocked them all.. Not hanging out with anyone from work or actually anyone for that matter.. DONE.

I like my life without D R A M A. well.. as much unnecessary drama as possible. lol..

1249pm TIME IS JUST DRAGGGGINGGG.. I have class tonight and then I think I am going to work out because I didn’t work out yesterday and I binged like I said prior.. I do want to discuss this though..

I have to care that I binged because I am doing a contest.. but for my OWN sake I can’t care (confused?).. Nothing I did was wrong besides not going to the gym (instead I will go today). But for the sole reason of me doing a contest prep anything can be dangerous… Not so much because I am still a little over 2 months away.. but even these healthy spurts of carb cravings I need to be careful.. Besides it was one slip up (only 2 so far in the 38 days SUPER PROUD AGAIN!) and I am also super happy that my cheat meals aren’t really cheat meals.. that they are healthy alternatives. So in a contest prep world I cheated, but for sanity I only overate. Time to move on and live TODAY not what I did last night 🙂

So I ate my chicken breast, with some BBQ sauce (MAYBE a tablespoon), munching on edamame with detox tea 🙂

Will eat again around class time.

Have to go to the financial aid office though to turn in another form but so far I think I’m doing good! Should be reimbursed soon for school. They are about to take out another payment on the 20th.. not happy.. I am dipping into my savings for this shit.. that and MY TAXES STILL WONT GET FIXED!!!! ughhhhhh maybe I will call them right now. oh and as I was blocking people from texting me I realized my cell phone was past due 2 days….. alrighty then there goes another $100 ontop of the $250 on my cell phone and the $100 I went randomly shopping with PRIOR to all this happening.. OH yeah and I owe Hertz Rental car $250 😦 not happy. Sorry a bit of ranting for the day….

So left work at 430pm 

5pm got to school, went to financial aids office.
Looks like everything is all verified. I got an email saying they are taking another payment out on the 20th and looks like everything will be finalized on the 21st lol. She said Id get reimbursed and then get remaining money? I don’t know.. Well see.. but I could DEF use that money right now..

Had Steak and broccoli before, and had a chicken breast at around 730pm.

 

930 Went to the gym after getting home and walking Marley.

930-1030 Stairmaster. Holy shit.

1045 1 cup chili with 1 cup ground turkey. a pinch or two low fat mozzarella and 2/3 banana.. (was going to be 1/2 banana but for some reason I am started to get addicted to bananas lol)…. hmmmmm…..

Btw if you ever wanted to know what it looks like to microwave with a non microwavable container.. this is what happens..

‘But that’s it for today… in class we are learning about personality disorders and eating disorders.. its weird hearing about binge eating and so forth.. btw.. it kept coming up that the side effects of bulimia is ruined teeth enamel.. and I actually think that’s true in my case.. they literally bleed ALL the time.. I HATE going to the dentist because I can taste the blood in my mouth 😦 Idk….. I’m flossing though hopefully it helps :/

Feel good, stomach is still looking pretty ugly to me.. Cant wait to go tanning so I feel a little more confident.. It’s been so nice out lately, makes you wonder what summer is gonna feel like lol.. this is obviously global warming how else is it like 80 everywhere in the world?? haha..

 

Goodnight ❤

Food Log

8-830am Protein Shake
12pm Chicken Breast/ Edamame
3pm Nut Butter
4pm Steak/Broccoli
7pm Chicken Breast

930-1030pm 60 Min Cardio (stairmaster)

1045pm Chili/Ground Turkey

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Day 31 If you wish to be loved, love.

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” – Unknown

HOLYFUCKINGSHIT– you guys I just found my favorite most true quote. Wow. Simply lost for words. ❤

815am my badass protein shake. pineapple mango coconut milk :):):)

Oh and I broke one of my blenders. awesome.

Add that to my wish list:
A BIG food processor
A BIG blender (like vitamix or ninja)

1130am About to have a chicken breast, cant really go to whole foods right now because I just spent an hour dealing with Secretary of State, and calling like 478329 court houses. There is A LOT of districts LOL.. but with my investigation skills GOT THAT SHIT ON LOCK! haha

have until the 28th to pay it. WHICH IS AWESOME! and it didn’t double, and Im pretty sure it is not going to suspend my license. I was on supervision in 2010, and its a year from the last ticket 🙂 WA BAM! Just means I cant speed anymore. Okay I mean I can’t get caught anymore.

So that just took a HUGE weight off my shoulder 🙂

and I feel good. I am still impatient and really want to be able to wear all my cute clothes without having to worry about my muffin top :/ It’s only a matter of time though 🙂
I can’t believe how GOOD I have been on my diet. 4 weeks down baby!!!!!! So excited.. and I’m only looking better each day.

Speaking of each day, thank you God for this day 🙂

BY THE WAY!

For any of you who question my titles, it is either a quote I am IN LOVE WITH, or it somehow links into my blog. If you read through the entire thing you can probably catch on.. if not and you just look at the pictures, that’s cool too 😉 But just a lil heads up, I know my blog is semi confusing. I am still catching on.

241pm Ate my chicken like an hour ago ish. I am actually super hungry. Ive only had my shake the chicken breast and a handful (or two ) raw almonds. I like completely missed a meal. Going to Whole Foods before class.. I’m gonna to need some snacks..

Kinda in a weird mood. my pants are see thru.. so I found out by the guys. I am hungry. Don’t feel fat or anything but my boss just makes you wonder how you can be so rude and say the things he says.

1104pm I’m fucking exhausted. I am going to publish this tomorrow morning.. so I can add pictures and shit because I DOUBT ill do it tonight. However..Here is a little recap.

430pm I went to whole foods because I needed food for class.. I really was going to only buy my chicken breast and an almond butter packet or two… But first I saw the chia seeds and the hemp hearts.. but no price tag so I asked the guy where the seeds were sitting if he could look it up for me.. the chia seeds came out to be 8.99 and the hemp was $6 maybe? I am not quite sure but it wasn’t HALF as bad as I thought.

I ended up spending $80. FML. lol.. my chicken alone was like 20 bucks though.. but I have enough for 2 days.. I also got these super cookies. THAT EVERYONE NEEDS TO GO AND GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I originally got the pizza flavor and so I thought those were pretty good and saw today what flavors they have.. I can’t remember all of them so I am going to look them up and post them but I got Lemon and chocolate and holy fucking hell.

THEY ARE D E L I C I O U S ! oh man. Completely addicted.. UH oh.. lol.

5pm I ate my chicken breast in the car. again. like a dumb dumb.

&& for anyone that wants to know what chicken breast I get, its right here:

The darker pieces in the middle ❤

So a little late for class but got started and it actually wasn’t a bad class. He didn’t say too much that offended me or pissed me the fuck off.. cept I did think he said “those homos” oh okay.. nbd.

Anywho I snacked on edamame and the flax cookies during class.. It was a nice snack. 🙂

Came home and didn’t have much to eat. I had like 1/4 piece of chicken, and a pickle lol. and now I am going to sleep.. told you I wasn’t going to publish it tonight. 😦 Maybe Ill wake up early 🙂 I only really need about 15 minutes just to add the pictures I took. I do think I want to start ending the blog with a breakdown of what I ate.. Instead of having to read the entire thing.. even though I WANT you to read it lol maybe it’ll be easier to get an idea of what I eat everyday and at what time.. Food for thought.. I don’t know yet… Maybe Ill try it and see how it looks lol.. tomorrow though.

Alright.. OH btw.. learning about disorders in psych today… mental disorders eating disorders, so it’s nice to actually care about what the teacher is trying to teach you. I am super interested and really do want to learn more about this kind of stuff. Hopefully next week Ill have a better understanding of how these disorders are developed and so forth..

ALLLLLRIGHTY!

Btw I fucking hate people that take advantage of my help. I understand exercise and eating right is OBVIOUSLY HARD FOR SOME PEOPLE TO COMPREHEND.. but I get paid pretty well for this stuff and it is kinda my job…. I mean its rude to ask a doctor for what could be wrong with something that’s been wrong with you… do you? or would you? I sure wouldn’t. If I did I wouldn’t ABUSE IT but expecting I answer and get pissed when I don’t///

whatever.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 15 F A T

Sorry for all the swearing ahead of time. I AM NOT HAPPY &&

F U C K

Dilemma so far?

So my mom and I went to the mall yesterday and I got 3 pairs of jeans, ALL different sizes. I COULDN’T EVEN FUCKING FIT INTO THE BIGGEST FUCKING SIZE.

so.. just imagine my fucking morning. I no joke blame it on my ass. Here is a recent pic of this nonstop growing ass of mine:

LIKE W T F ? !

NOT my house and no that’s NOT a fucking cat.

and NO these were not photoshopped, even though I was browsing my blog and they FER SURE looked photoshopped. But they are NOT. I pinky promise.

BUT today I start cardio so that’s something to look forward too (not technically but you know lol).

On my mood:

I am not really depressed, or feeling THAT down, but it sucks. I actually want to say that whenever I felt fat, or unattractive I would binge (weird right, because binge’ing is going to make me soooo much skinnier..LOL).. but I didn’t even think to cheat, even when my mom randomly and coincidentally asked “so how do your pants fit marissa?”  great mom, just great.

I couldn’t even answer her.

So this is what I am struggling with today. I feel fine, and actually I feel really pretty.

Until I feel/notice my muffin top.

830am Had my Myofusion and PB2 protein shake.

10am I’m going to snack in an hour or so. My stomach is getting pretty hungry but I need to go to Whole Foods to get a chicken breast. I don’t think I have enough food for today because I wanted to get the fuck out of the house because I was going to get bitchy. I’m just focusing today, knowing it will be a good day.

1130am Went to Whole Foods in Chicago and it was A W E S O M E. IT WAS HUGE! I ate 2 pieces of honey flank steak and got a piece of turkey that has spinach provolone and tomatoes in it. Pretty excited about that;) lol. It was nice to get out of the office for 2 hours =D

Looks A LOT better then it tasted (AND it was like $6)

As for the gym later tonight (730pm), I am going to do back instead of legs, because my legs are KILLING me still. Training schedule for this week:

  • Monday: Back
  • Tuesday: Legs
  • Wednesday: OFF (for now)
  • Thursday: Shoulders/chest
  • Friday: Legs w/ calves
  • Saturday: Arms
  • Sunday: Cardio/Plyo.
 So I got home pretty fast today (530pm), walked Marley and baked some sweet potato fries. THESE WERE NOT ALL NATURAL.. they said they were but they had quite a bit of ingredients, so I will eat the rest of the bag (THEY ARE DELICIOUS) and be done with them. I think for lent wednesday I will give up soda.. Remember I was going to today, but I remembered ash wednesday or whatever is coming up. I CAN DO IT!!!!!!. Officially 1 month and 2 weeks since I quit smoking. HELL YES!
700pm Finish eating 3oz sweet potato and some meatloaf, waited 45min and headed to the gym.
Oh I did have 2 “sugar cookies”. LOL.
I got to the gym at 820pm and hit:
Assisted pull ups for 5 sets.
Row for 4 sets
Back Ext 3-4 sets (I forgot)
Lat pulldown 4 sets
A different row set up 2 sets
Treadmill 20 min level 10-12 Speed 2.5-3.1
Finally added cardio.. :(:( and super pissed there were no stair masters. I SAID CARDIO SHOULD ONLY BE THE STAIRMASTER (in my case) and they weren’t getting off anytime soon. There were only 2 because the 3 was broken. Pieces of shit. ugh. but whatever.. In about 2 months ill be going from 20 min of cardio to 2 hours of cardio lol. CANT WAIT
930pm I had a protein shake (myofusion and pb2 again) for after the workout.
10pm Studying for 30-45min then IM HITTING THE SACK! ugh can’t wait to lay and bed, stretch and get some well needed rest 🙂

And the motivation for the day:


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