Tag Archives: fitness

Scholarship essay. Learning.

Writing an essay means researching the topic. Luckily for some, the topic is on oneself. With that being said, I’ve currently written this essay a dozen times and still can’t manage to save a draft. Writing about something so close to me, makes me come off as cheesey and that’s the last thing I want. I want people to read this and feel the passion that I have for the health (fitness) and the wellness field. Hopefully you can tell by the end of this what has motivated me, why I myself could use the help and how I will help not only the community I live in, but as many people everywhere that I can.

I’ve been working as a personal trainer for about 5 years now, and in doing so, I’ve realized how truly amazing it is to impact someone’s life. Someone who may be battling the same demons I once did. I may be living paycheck to paycheck, but I’m helping people help themselves, and no amount of money could bring the same amount of joy. I’ve struggled with finding myself worth, wondering if I can actually make a difference. Know a days, everyone is a trainer or some sort of guru. I, for one, want to stand out. I don’t just want to fall in the cracks of this every growing industry, preaching anything just to make a few dollars. Being a trainer for as long as I have, I now know that this isn’t just physical. That there is no magic pill, that every part of this process is mental and emotional. In order for me to help the way I need to help, I need to be taught. I attend classes taught by people like Frank Ardito, and it gives me goose bumps. The knowledge that these people possess is overwhelming, yet so admirable. All I want is to be able to teach and bring knowledge to those who truly want it. Who want help to understand what is truly going on inside of them. What has given me hope in becoming who I’m meant to be has been continuing my education. Although, I didn’t go to college right after high school, I knew what I wanted to become. I knew I was going to be in the fitness industry for the rest of my life, and it still stands true today. The people I meet, the lives they’ve said I’ve helped change, the relationships, the success, the failures, the knowledge; it’s all been my motivation. It’s the guilt from not doing everything I could to attend college post high school, which has put my dreams on hold. I know it may sound like an excuse, but it’s the truth. Without a proper education, I feel like I am not giving everything I can to my clients. People want to see that you know what you are talking about, so I want to feel like I know what I am talking about. Like Albert Einstein once said, “Any fool can know. The point is to understand.” I want to be taught the things I need to know, because as much as I feel my personal experiences help greatly, I can’t be naïve to the fact that I have a lot to learn.

“There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning- Jiddu Krishnamurti”. I may not have much, I may be 25 still living at home, I may feel stuck most days, but what I do have is the ability to see past the struggles, and understand that each day I continue to do what I was meant to do, is going to have such a great return in the end.

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She too, grew.

There was a flower in her heart, it just needed more room to bloom. And when she let it free, she showed the world that sometimes the most beautiful things can grow in the darkest of places.

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Emerge.

For a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

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Justine (my BFF, left). Myself, to the right.

So here’s to growing. Here’s to coming undone. Here’s to the progress, even the challenges I will face. Here’s to being okay.

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Killer leg workout: not for the timid.

Leg workout 7/30/14

140lb leg press with Leg Ext warm up 4 sets of 12-15 (DO NOT USE LEG EXT IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR KNEES).
Upped leg press to 190lbs for 2 sets. Kept leg ext weight the same.

Started with Hack squat at 50lbs (1) 25lb each side with a 50lb BB lunge.
Doubled the weight (2) 25’s on each side.
Added (1) 10 to each side.

3 sets total- h.squat was 12 reps (adding weight)
Lunges were 2 sets (14,12 reps) @50lbs. Last set was 30 reps @bw

Leg press. 3 exercises in set. (1) 25 plate on each side.
3 sets of 12-15 reps:

1. Side leg press
2. Single leg press
3. Together (feet high) (yes! 45 rep set)!

Kick backs and sumo squat. K backs= 30lbs (cable). Sumo squat= 45lb DB. Sumo squat could have been heavier, regardless, should have done on boxes to get better ROM.
3 sets of 12 reps k backs, 10 reps s squats.

Smith machine squats (2) 10’s on each side. Super set with box jumps.
3 sets of 12 squats, 10 box jumps.

Exhaustion phase.
7 sets of 12-15 leg ext.

– So I wanted to test this leg workout today. I texted my lifting partner the workout and what I thought was going to be the complete opposite response, I received a “fuck yeah.” It was awesome. I was already dreading it in my head and glad I had someone’s positivity to piggy back off. We work together. Almost balance each other out. Yet when I read that, what I just wrote, realized that’s not entirely true. We work together we’ll yes, however sometimes we are so alike, when one goes down, so does the other. Only thing I can think of while trying to make light of the situation, is that we come back stronger. We pick each other up, in due time. That’s all that matters.

Anywho this ADD chick needs to stay focused…

This work out was pretty exhausting. Since being a trail run, I wanted to push myself but since we didn’t know what to expect, we didn’t go all out beast mode on it. We could have upped the weight on cable kick backs, sumo squat and smith machine squats. As a matter of fact, it sucked but 50lb BB lunge was a tad easy too. Next week (well do a plyo metric workout on Sunday), we’ll complete this routine again, but this time upping the ante a bit.

Everything should be easy to follow. Might want to google the side leg press just to make sure your position is correct. Since you are at an angle, make sure your foot ankle complex is directly inline with the knee. Don’t go to heavy on this one just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. This was a triple set, and it sucked. But, oh so good.

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A letter to my best friend.

I’m writing you this today, because I too needed to hear this.

What we are going through is a small piece to the puzzle. The lessons we are learning one mishap after another, are things we need to embrace.
To understand.

We are constantly looking to the bigger picture trying to find a little bit of hope to hold on to. But in the end, succumbing to the pressures of self doubt.

The struggles make it real.
We fall down. Sometimes on accident, most others what would seem on purpose. But what doesn’t kill us DOES In fact makes us stronger. Why? When was the last time we didn’t get back up?
This time, with a little more pride inside.
A rested body, a clearer mind.
Fire in our eyes..

We have to embrace these trials. We have to keep our head held high even when it seems we are slowly drowning. Yes, We have hit some detours along the way but whose life changing story was ever smooth sailing anyway? We’ll get there when we’re suppose to get there and not a moment sooner.

We are in control. We have the final say. We choose our final destination. Might as well enjoy the journey we are creating <3.

I love you.

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Dating a fit chick:

Couldn’t help not to share. Mike wrote this while I was sleeping and it’s pretty legit..

DATING A FIT CHICK:

– Must deal with constant soreness , massage skills are a bonus.

-No messing with eating schedule, nor teasing with nono food.

-Let them sleep, it’s good and leads to not being cranky, no one likes an aggravated women.

-Do not interrupt work out sessions, they’re in the zone just don’t fuck with them.

-There’s alot of crazy seeds and powders that are beneficial.

-You’re not funny when you try and make them laugh doing a workout wrong. They will walk away.

-Harder Faster Squeeze should not be taken in a sexual manner in a gym.

– DO NOT TOUCH when the word bloated is mention.

-You really find out a women can rip one with the best of them.

-Don’t get insecure if they are stronger. You can still do the manly things.

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Grasping for air.

A lot has happened in the last week and it’s finally coming to an end.

Atleast that’s what I’m telling myself. Because I can’t stay in this hole any longer..

It’s not healthy.
Nor am I happy.

I’m far from happy.
Like, far far.

I sit here.. A week into a binge and purge roller coaster. An ENTIRE week.

I was fine, doing so well.. Food was on point. I was doing what I could workout wise. My head was clear.

Then I get injured.
Shattered knuckle.

That’s it. Nothing crazy..Nothing life altering.

Or, well.. So I thought.

Made the best of it, even 4 weeks post operation.. Then last week, I felt like my life was just swept with a deep dark sense of sadness…

Then the demons arrived.

I started seeing a therapist maybe two months or so ago just for straight life guidance (I think a lot) and I remember specifically one of the first things he asked was if fitness wasn’t a part of my life anymore, though it didn’t take long for me to reply it felt like a no brainer.. It won’t. I will ALWAYS be involved and super interested in the fitness industry.

End of story.

Wrong..
More like just beginning.

Fast Forward two weeks, I shatter my knuckle. FF another two weeks, I had the surgery. A surgery in which was suppose to be 15 minutes, turned into 2 and 1/2 hours.

After that, even just the day after, when I returned in pain and the dr said they had wrapped the splint too right.. I still had high hopes. But soon it turned from an it what it is situation, to wtf did I just get myself into??!!

Bad vibes from doctors, painful experiences.. Take for example the picture was taken this past Wednesday. The Dr (who I’ve been seeing and haven’t been to fond of) had someone shadow him then leave the room to have him stitch me. I get that may be a requirement to know what to do, but this guy .. Let’s just say had some trouble. Like, walking out, grabbing an assistant kind of trouble. It was a bad time..

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The week of the last pin removal, really hit me hard. Everything just flooded my head with negativity. I had just interviewed for a really good job, but called back and asked for my application to be put on hold, knowing with surgeries PT and basically not being at able to perform at my best, wasn’t good qualities of a new hire..

I got into a car accident. Backed up into a guy who said he saw me but thought he could move around me..

The thought of my hand never being the same again constantly triggered mood swings..

Feeling helpless, ALL THE TIME.

Self destructing, falling back into old habits.

It was one thing after another and I couldn’t control it. I had given up that power.

2 months ago I was doing push ups in my room for fun, timing handstands and planks.. Now I could barely dress myself, tie my shoes..

Everything.. just like that.. Taken away.

I know maybe I’m being dramatic.. Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe.. But what I do know, is I’m a girl whose been so insecure from the moment I could remember and has dealt with body image issues for just as long… Understand and grasp the harsh reality that my happiness seems to be directly related to my body issue..

And this surgery.. An obstacle if you will, made me realize just how caught up I am in all of this..

..how I’ve been LETTING the fight consume me.

This time, I’m fighting back!

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“Don’t let the fight consume you.”

I read this at the exact moment that I was meant to read it.

Post in progress.

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No matter how small, progress is progress!

It’s been exactly 2 months since my injury, a month since my surgery. In that time, I have lost 12lbs. In my anorexic days, I would if saw this as a good thing, and now I feel depressed thinking about all the muscle I have lost.

Maybe depressed wasn’t the right word, because although I’m super sad by it, I have yet to do the destructive habits I was once accustomed too… So maybe in light of it all, I’m making progress regardless of what the scale says..

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Real talk.

I began a Facebook page called Fit R Us. I don’t know where I’m going with, much like this blog, though I hope to just help in any way I can. Mostly motivating articles and just being truthful about how the process of getting fit really works. No bullshit.

I feel like many people don’t understand the basics, just like myself years ago. That alone could be detrimental to ones progress. Years ago, I starved myself. Not too long ago I binged the fuck out of shit. Now, I am living healthy and happy and I hope others will too.

I posted this progress picture (see below) taken this morning (4/25/14). It’s about 2 weeks post surgery. I haven’t worked out.. and by that I have lost around 7lbs. Although not stoked about it.. There’s nothing I can do.. But wait! There is, and I have stayed completely on point on my diet (again, you know me, I use the word diet very loosely).

I have tracked my food in myfitnesspal. Which is sort if a joke unless you know what you’re doing. All my clients have downloaded it and I have manipulated the goals because 9/10 it is so wrong. I don’t really know where they come up with there numbers, but I rarely agree.

I’m staying on a 40/30/30 spilt, at around 1800 calories. And that’s not working out… Most girls would look at that number and think I’m crazy.. But I look at some peoples calorie consumption and think the same. Just remember, if you think eating less than 1000 calories is good.. Realize you will have to eat 1000 calories for the rest of your life or you’ll gain weight. Then think about if you hit a plateau.. Only way to get past it would be to add more work, or to eat less. See where I’m going here? You can eat and lose weight, you just have to be in a deficient at the end of the day.. Maybe people don’t like to work out.. But who likes to, well, not eat?

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