Tag Archives: Gym

Day 46 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Woke up at 7am =D Finally.

But never take a bubble bath right when you wake up. I wanted to stay there forever.

830am Vanilla Whey, Mini Banana, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 1TBS coconut shreds, 4 ice cubs. (IN LOVE WITH THIS RECIPE AND ONLY HAVE 2 MORE WEEKS TO ENJOY IT!!!!!) 😦

10am Was already starving, snacked on almonds.

1230pm Went to Whole Foods downtown because I needed to pick up some shit for my boss.

Seriously.. even this dude said something about it.. He has me go pick up shit from random people he  messages on craigslist… Whatever.. So as weird as it was, I said fuck it and and just typed in directions on how to get home.. and before you know it I was on North Ave where the Whole Foods was..

I got 1/4lb flank steak and  grilled cuban mojo (LOL) chicken breast.. $12.00 later.. lol.. So I ate the flank steak in the car headed home.

4pm Munched on some almonds because I am literally starving all the damn time. I need to start drinking more water. Ate this chicken breast from whole foods like stated earlier and it was delicious! 🙂 I took a pic of the ingredients too..

I made the 60 second chocolate cake because I was so needing something sweet and I really didnt want to binge.. I’ve been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good ❤ ❤ ❤

I finished up part 1 of my homework.. Didn’t take long..  it was a discussion on 3 things we liked from this article that actually had to do with everything that intrigues me lol..

730pm Got ready for the gym..

BACCCK ATTACCCKKKKKK..

8pm Got to the gym.

Started with lat pulldowns.

Back Ext 3×10 reps 45lbs

Single Arm Row 45-60lbs

Underhand Row Maxed out at 120lbs.

30 Min Cardio

 

930pm Went home and made a protein shake. Lol.. I put applesauce and cranberries in it.. lmao.

10-12pm Went out and chit chatted with a few friends. Ate 8 almonds on the way home.

Rest of the night was whatever.. Kinda feeling a lil down in the dumps coming along.. hmmmmmmm weather…always being busy, never actually getting anything done, getting bitched at about my dog, eating late the fuck at night… getting high, needing to change some things in my life, constantly bitching and thinking the world revolves around me, wanting to be a better person, has sudden urges to cry, not depressed, just stressed and thinks crying lets a lot of emotion and fear go. 😦

 

I’ll figure it out.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 30 My only wish is I die real.

HAD TO START WITH SAYING 2 MONTH CIGARETTE FREE!!!

But I feel like shit.

I felt like shit last night too, so woke up 15 min prior to  me needing to leave. Not like I give a shit, but Marley would NOT stop whinning at 6am. My mom had to come in and take her out, shes such a weirdo.

But back to me feeling like shit. It feels like acid reflux. Haven’t had it in AWHILE.. so it’s weird that its coming back now. FUCKKKK I took 3 tums last night and I woke up fine, now it hurts again.

Had a dope ass shake though.

830am W/ the nasty WF vanilla P. powder with fresh pineapple, frozen mango ice and water (oh and fiber). It was awessssssssssssssssome. I am going to add coconut oil tomorrow 🙂

Anywho its 1041am I found Raw almonds in a customers car LMFAO. I had to go in it to get the title and all of a sudden a bag of unopened almonds popped out. FUCKING PERFECT. I was starving and not only was my stomach hurting from WHATEVERTHEFUCKISGOINGON, i had hunger pains too. 😦 No bueno.

So I ate a handful of those then had a piece of pineapple. MMMMMM I LOVE FOOD!

NEED TO GO TO THE DMV today, but Matt isn’t here. I am seriously in so much trouble. :(:(

Bought another sweatshirt from LIFT BIG EAT BIG. The purple one. 🙂 I only bought one sweatshirt from their because I am rewarding myself. I haven’t gotten any check from school cathy or my tax return so this is my money rewarding myself for hitting day 30 🙂 But I want like 2 or 3 more things 🙂

&& I want these SO BADDDDDDD ❤

Anyways. I am in a really good fucking mood. the weather is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! no joke its 68 degrees March 6. Take a few seconds and thank WHOEVER you think is in charge of life and death and thank them for another day here on earth.

Actually what if death is better then life? lol. Like once we die its like a never ending party. hahahaha justkidding. THANK YOU GOD FOR TODAY! ❤

I feel myself getting a little hungry (231pm) I have more pineapple that I shouldnt eat, actually I CAN, omg stomach pains again 😦 but I may go sneak some more almonds lmfao.. ITS LEG DAY TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Lets see some sexy legs!!!!!!!!!

So far doing legs 2x a week is going great. My ass is huge, and its staying that way, all while my legs (thighs ext) are thinning out. FUCK YEAH!..

See I’m positive about my body when I’m in a good mood, and think I’m pregnant when I’m not.
Writing things down does help…….

HOLY FUCKING SHIT

924pm Just an update

Left for work at 5pm. Got flicked off and tried to run off the road TWICE. I was taking a video of the first guy because he was acting crazy and as soon as I was about to hit off I said ” and I need to cut this guy off”.. but hoesntly THERE WAS ENOUGH DAMN ROOM. it wasn’t like a huge ordeal. Well I turned the record button off and continued driving. Well the road merges back onto the highway or follow with traffic. Well this guy got on the further road to go straight and wouldn’t let me in.. Pretty much he was running me off the road.. WEll I saw I had like 100 feet and sped up and I didn’t give a shit if he hit my car. He had a mercedes and I simply didn’t care. I wouldn’t of said anything, probably wouldn’t of even stopped had he hit me lol.. Anywho I got my camera back on and he started acting normal till he got on the right again (after fucking with me) and I slowed down and rolled down my window.. I wanna see if I can post the video here.. lol

Nevermind it won’t let me :(:( Hopefully I can figure it out sometime.. But he said, cut me off one more time bitch.. and he sounded so flustered like he knew he was on camera lol and didn’t know if he was going to roll down his window or not.. whatever hahaha.. I can’t believe it.. thats 3 times in 2 days..

So I got home I ate a piece of steak again at like 445 so I only ate a couple scoops of applesauce (just because lol) and part of a lara bar.. I had a lot of fruit today.

Got to the gym at 730pm

Squats!

60lbs x 10reps
80lbs x 10reps
90lbs x 8reps
100lbs x 6reps
110lbs x 4reps

Moved onto lunges. MHMMMMM started at 40 lb DB in each hand

80lbs x 100 MOTHER FUCKING LUNGES BABY!

My forearms wanted to give up more then my legs did. My legs were hurting at the last few reps.. like wobbly type shit. Then went over to the Leg Ext.. Even though I was going to do calves but I was kind of spacey.

65lbs x 12reps
80lbs x 10reps
95lbs x 10reps
110lbs x 8reps
125lbs x 8reps
140lbs x 6reps

FInished with 3 sets of 10 reps (45lbs) seated calf raises.

Did 2 set of planks. I was hurting. I did 10 box jumps though lol.. and I really didn’t feel anything jiggle up and down lol.. whichhhh is fanfuckingtastic.

🙂

Got a diet coke (yes I am taking full advantage before I can’t drink it anymore)… ate some stolen almonds. And then made a smoothie.. coconut mango pineapple… mmmmm so fucking good.

Probably all Im gonna eat.. I want to go to bed at a normal time..

I have been thinking about things… and I really need to stop getting so upset about things so fast. Everything can be solved. But first you just need to breathe. Honestly. ENJOY your life. Do something for YOU! Not only that find something you can hold on too.. That gives you faith.. that gives you hope… I really think people need to start living for  something.

Then I get to thinking about how people can’t even say thank you or bless you when someone sneezes. How people can’t even hold a door open for someone anymore, and I think people are going to just take a few seconds even to thank the universe for all I care, just to be alive.  Life is so precious and you really don’t know when its all going to end. but when it does I want to have at least help or have helped someone… anyone.. I want someone to have been changed by something I stood for or just said in general. I want little girls to know that they are beautiful. That the outside does NOT define who you are inside. That vanity is ignorance to the beauty thats around us. I want people to be happier.. just fucking stop hating each other.. why are you holding a grudge? why is everyone SO DAMN MAD ALL THE FUCKING TIME?!?!

The thing is is I always LOOK mad, completely different then actually being mad.. yes perspective is everything and everyone judges, but honestly I think in my life, I’ve been more sad then mad and I used being angry to cover up wanting to always cry. I mean fuck I’ve done my fair share of crying (and I could cry at just about anything lol). But I think I rather choose to scream and yell then to crying and hyperventilate.

I always knew anger was a second emotion but never put much thought into it. The thing is is I wasn’t mad at the world, or people around me.. I was just upset at my life and how I was living it. I was probably jealous and envious over certain peoples lifestyles, bodies, cars  (whatever the fuck it may be) but never truly upset with anyone.. Not even my dad who introduced himself to me on my 8th grade graduation.

Yeah my mom thinks I should be angry at him but honestly I don’t. He didn’t leave me, he never hated me.. Shit happens and people react in different ways. Hence what I am saying about myself. I choose to do stuff differently (judge people ext), and no one really told me I was ever wrong, Just like my father knows (hopefully) but thats it. As long as you learn a lesson from past mistakes I think in the end it will make you a better person. Though they say never to regret anything, well I don’t believe in that. I don’t mean sit there and dwell, but I don’t think regretting something is wrong. It doesn’t do much, but its not wrong. I think it would be wrong if you didn’t regret it (meaning you’d do it again).. Idk to each their own.. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt people to become what I think is a better person now.

Words hurt. Words stay in peoples minds. and I am so sorry to anyone that I have ever hurt.

and trust me, I have hurt people with the words I have said. I am not proud the fact that I can hurt someone so badly with just the words that come out of my mouth. and to think I WANTED to hurt someone with them…

I was just lost. lost and confused 😦

Shit this could go on forever but I am going to end it here.. its going on 10pm..

Point is.. I am a different person now. I do not judge anyone, because it is not my place to judge. Being open and having people being open with me, has made me realize that just because a person is smiling on the outside, that they are not living, going or been thru hell.

I have heard some fucked up stories, that I couldn’t even dream up if I wanted too, not to mention, would I have EVER of guessed that this person has been through, what they went thru.

Just please the next time you want to say something mean rude, hurtful disrepesetful ext.. know that not only do sticks and stones hurt…. so do words. and some people are going thru enough behind close doors, that they don’t need an ignorant jackass talking shit.

Sorry. Idk why that all came out.. 😦

Anyways I’m going to bed. Sorry to bore the fuck out of you.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 21 If I have no love I am nothing

One of the most inspiring quotes/pictures I have ever came across ❤

 

I remember days where I thought life was too hard to handle. I pleaded with God to take my life. I have cried myself to sleep. I have been down dark dark roads. I have done things I shouldn’t have, and I have hurt people I shouldn’t of. But as I write this today, just know that I too thought I would NEVER see a brighter day. I sit here though, never BEEN HAPPIER. Yes my life is FAR from perfect, but when you are given the gift of life each day and you learn to love not only yourself and others but the big man upstairs, life changes. Not in a drastic way where people will stop and ask questions or envy you, but in your heart, in your mind and soul where it is needed most. You will wake up each day and say thank you Lord for another day to live through you. And I will live through him. He has shown me that I can get through anything. That I can be a strong individual with so much love and passion for people. I can finally say that I am truly happy 🙂
Have faith in God.
Know that he is with you and will help you get through life’s struggles. He does NOT give you anything you cannot handle.

Nor are you alone.
As lonely as the path your leading down may feel like, just breathe.
Know that you are here for a reason and you have a purpose.

Anything that you need help with, take a second and ask for HELP. It does not mean you are weak, it just means you need guidance, you need to feel like someone has your back. That if you fail, someone will be there for you.

When no one else is there, and you feel the weight of the world on your shoulders. When you beg God to take your life. When you go down the wrong path. When you are suffering.
HE IS THERE. He WANTS to help you. Just put your faith in God.

He is OUR support.

 

8-930am I woke up for church. Made my Myofusion Protein Shake. Waited for my mother to get ready. and we kind of got in a little huff. I was just hot and aggravated. I couldn’t find my garage door opener, and we were on the verge of being late (MY MOTHER DOES NOT UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF TIME). And I HATE being late, for anything!

10am We got to church. I apologized for how I was acting. I hate acting like a spoiled bitch to my mom. I fucking love her more then anything and I do not understand how I have such a low tolerance when it comes to me getting angry. It’s honestly like if I’m too hot (temp wise) that for some reason I am SO annoyed with everything around me. It would almost be better if I just didn’t talk to anyone when I’m pissy. I def need to work on that.

 

So we get to church, this is my first time at this Harvest. I’ve been to Harvest before but this one is a lot smaller but it was cool. As we were singing of course I got all teary eyed. Then when the pastor was talking about a college boy who wrote in for a prayer I like lost it. I started crying and had to get up and get tissues. THEN we went into small groups for about 30 min at the end and the one lady was talking and she had tears in her eyes and as soon as I saw them I started crying again. I have no idea why. I honestly think its because I just want to com fort all these people.

Even here on wordpress I see people struggling and I just want to make everything better. I want to open my arms and my heart for them. It just makes me so sad. Idk. I also think its because I haven’t cried in a while (which I think is a good thing for me lol). I am a very emotional person. lol

 

I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle.  I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much.  ~Mother Teresa

 

Ok.. so that was my little moving experience today. Oh how I’ve learned to appreciate the days 🙂
It’s about quarter to 1. I am going to finish cleaning and my laundry and then I will head to the gym.

Bi’s and Tri’s today. Ugh and a shit ton of core work.

Justina is suppose to come over but she hasn’t texted me and its 1pm already. My weekends usually consist of working out cooking and cleaning and I RARELY find time to hang out with people. I don’t mind it actually. I am trying to FIND and CREATE myself and the world is a dark place with many temptations. Besides I like have 2 days where I have NO schedule and no alarm clock set 🙂

3pm Went and did my arms workout. It consisted of hammer curls, BB curls, skull crushers, bench dips and assisted dips, and sort of a triceps push down. I also did 5 minutes of planks =D

430pm Had a green smoothie and just relaxed a bit. I put greens, mango, banana, fiber and ice. This one tasted a little funky and I think its because I put in a green mixture… Ol well.

605pm Bored as fuck, and being lazy. Justina wanted to come over but she wouldn’t get here till 7, I’m a horrible entertainer, and right now I’M BROKE AS F U C K. no joke. I have $20 till Tuesday AM. NOT COOL. Blame it on online shopping and buying organic food. FML. lol and the fact that I owe 2 GRAND FOR MY MAC BOOK! hahaha but I love it so its allll good ❤

I am going to finish up my blog, eat another meal at 7pm. OH I made parmesan crusted chicken last night and it was dank as shit. My mom loved it. Too bad I’m cutting cheese out of my diet so probably won’t eat that again…. MAYBE.. That and PB (except PB2). Not excited but theres too much shit in it. I’m gonna take it easy tonight. Just like I do every weekend haha.

 

 

Goodnight ❤

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