Tag Archives: humor

Fuck. It’s finally friday.

Life has been throwing quite a few curve balls at me lately.
..and usually I am one to throw in the towel, call it quits, say I don’t give a fuck, anything but actually roll with the punches.  You know, sit on the pity pot, cry myself to sleep while I ask “why me?”
Lol. “why me?” How ignorant.
Lets take something positive out of a semi bad situation.. I currently have a pending misdemeanor for a speeding ticket I got a few weeks ago. Granted this is going to cost me a chunk of change (lawyer, court fines ext), it has slowly (obviously) given me some patience, that I lack ever so badly. I cruise on the highway going 70 (usually a MINIMUM of 80 mph for this lead foot), sometimes even getting passed by semis but I can’t risk it. Not only that, what am I in a rush for? Life passes by quickly enough as it is.. I don’t need to hurry things along even faster. I think why I feel so “changed” is because I use to ALWAYS be on a schedule (working, eating, lifting), and there simply wasn’t enough hours in the day to please me.
Now, I am taking each little “life’s lessons”, and trying to see the good in all situations. I am such a negative person as it is and clearly it hasn’t been working out for me. I want to love myself, not put myself on a pedestal.
Random thought.. yes I have my little tangents.

The Food Log..

9am 2 slices of Ezekiel Bread w/Jiffy (not natural) <-- :(
12pm Ezekiel Pasta with lean Ground Turkey and natural sauce (only has 6 ingredients).
3pm Chicken and Veggies.
6pm (Pre Work Out)* 1/2c Greek Yogurt w/ 1/4c Steel Cut Oats (w/ 3 strawberries).
9pm (Post Work Out)* Ezekiel Pasta w/ Organic Butter and Ground Turkey.
11pm and later Casein shake.

*Pre Work Out (explanation) from Askmen.com

Pre-exercise meals should be mainly composed of “slow-burning” complex carbs, such as fruits, vegetables, whole-grain bread, rice, pasta, and cereals. Given that they are your body’s main source of energy, 65% to 70% of the total calories of your pre-workout meal should come from carbs. Complex carbs take longer to convert to glucose, which will keep your blood sugar level consistent and prevent you from having an energy crash in the middle of your workout.In addition, 15% of the total calories of your meal should come from protein. Because fat takes longer to digest, and therefore uses more energy than protein and carbs, it should be kept to a minimum immediately before a workout.Avoid simple sugars, such as candy, in the hour before your workout. They can send your blood sugar level shooting down, leading to a severe drop in energy.Another factor in deciding what to eat is the amount of time between your meal and your workout. A big meal of 1,000 to 1,500 calories takes three to four hours to digest and convert into energy, whereas a smaller meal of about 600 calories will take two to three hours. A small snack under 300 calories will only take about an hour.

 
Examples: Oatmeal, Bananas, Trail Mix, Whole Wheat Pasta.

The Work Out

Hamstring and Glute day, yay!
Starting off with Deadlifts (compound exercises should be knocked out first. These are the ones that tax your body the most aka take most energy.. deplete glycogen stores quickly.. This is also another reason why I don’t do much, if any, cardio on leg days).
I usually do 5 sets, 12,12,10,8,8 (reps).
50lbs + bar for 2 sets of 12 reps (or till failure.. if you can knock out another rep GO FOR IT!)
add 20lbs
70lbs for 1 set of 10 reps.
add 10lbs
80lbs for 2 sets of 8 reps.
Not supersetting this with anything.
Will however do 3 sets of calf raises afterwards before I hit lunges.
Calf Raises
3 sets of 45lb (10-12 reps).

LUNGES!!!!

5 Sets of 20 reps (WEIGHTED!!)
I think I might just stick with 20 lb Dumbbells=

100 (40lb) total lunges 🙂
POSSIBLY superset with 30 sec wall sits.

Finish with a lighter Good Morning (kind of like an awkward stiff legged deadlift).
supersetted with planks.
Would like to also complete at LEAST 30 Minutes of light (but elevated- on an incline) cardio on the treadmill.
Sauna if I’m lucky?
 
Post Work Out Meal (explanation) by Askmen.com
As a general rule of thumb, you’ll want to consume about 0.8 grams of carbohydrate per 2.2 pounds of body weight within 30 to 60 minutes after your workout. Any longer and you may miss your “window of opportunity” (the time period in which your muscles will benefit most from nutrition). You’ll also want to take in about one-third or one-half that ratio in protein or about 0.2 to 0.4 grams per 2.2 pounds of body weight.However, it’s not just the amount of these nutrients that’s important — it’s a little bit more complicated than that — which is why AM has decided to rank its top 10 post-workout foods for you to keep handy after you hit the gym.
 
Examples: Hummus on a whole-grain pita. Toasted whole wheat bagel with almond butter. Dried fruits and nuts. Tuna and whole-wheat crackers. Egg white and spinach omelet
Basically this is what I follow. I never knew how important carbs were to someones diet/body. It is almost CRUCIAL. What happens when you go low carb for awhile (or forever lol).. your body begins to think that its starving. “However, if there is very little carbohydrate in the diet, the liver converts fat into fatty acids and ketone bodies. The ketone bodies pass into the brain and replace glucose as an energy source. An elevated level of ketone bodies in the blood, a state known as ketosis, leads to a reduction in the frequency of epileptic seizures.” – Wikipedia.
I know people have a misconception about carbohydrates, but we all need to understand that we can EAT carbohydrates, we just have to eat the right ones (and technically at the right time). Don’t be scared of food. Eat to live not live to eat. Try and stay away from heavily processed carbs (have TONS of hidden sugars) and switch to Whole Wheat. Its a SIMPLE change that has MANY benefits, and I promise the taste isn’t even that noticeable!! ….. ok well if it is, get use to it lol.
This weekend I will be sure to list the certain food products I have known to help in a healthy (organic/whole) lifestyle. Instagram has been a HUGE help in aiding my addiction to sugar and living a happy healthy normal life. I’m all for trying new things now!!!!
So follow me btw..

@Maristheshit

 

Recipe of the day:

Strawberry Frosting Shots
(or strawberry mousse)
  • 1 can full-fat coconut milk (Perhaps you can sub 1 cup soaked, drained cashews or macadamia nuts if allergic to coconut? If anyone tries, please report back!)
  • 2-5 strawberries (more will yield a thinner mousse)
  • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • sweetener to taste (stevia or powdered sugar)
  • tiny pinch salt (trust me)
Open the coconut milk, and if it isn’t yet as thick as in the above photo, leave the can (or transfer to a bowl) uncovered in the fridge overnight. (Don’t shake the can before opening.) It should get very, very thick. (If it doesn’t, you’ve gotten a bad can that won’t work for the recipe. I highly recommend Thai Kitchen Organic.) Once thick, transfer just the thick part to a bowl (leave out the watery bit at the bottom of the can, for a thicker mousse) and blend with all other ingredients. Stored uncovered in the fridge, the mixture gets even thicker.
 

 

I have been meaning to make “cool whip” out of coconut milk. I recently bought 2 cans and haven’t even touched them. I think it would be wonderful on pancakes on Saturday or Sunday morning. Mmmm.. Chocolatecoveredkatie.com <== LOVELOVELOVE!
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Pointless late night post.

So it’s 10:42pm on Saturday night. I don’t remember (nor have I put much work into finding out) what time I fell asleep at…. but it sure as hell wasn’t just a catnap like I told him. Yes I will refer to him as him as if you know who he is. Just go along with it. Names have to be withheld. Too many creeps.
 
So yeah. I was going to get chipotle but I am so glad I passed out. I can only imagine how bloated I would of felt. Dude. I jiggle again. I am probably 3 solid months worth of training. LOL.. yes I just measured my weight loss by how quickly it can be lost. Ugh. This time a scale may be needed. That and I will need to start writing my shit down. When it all comes down to it yes weight loss is a science. Pretty much, calories in vs calories out. That is the EASIEST (quickest, simplest ext ext) way of explaining HOW TO LOSE WEIGHT. If you know and understand that.. like Albert Einstein once said..

aka

Burn more calories (via exercise/movement) then you consume (ingest = eat).
..& I think writing it all down and literally calculating all my macronutrients, will be fool proof. 😉
 
I have always been really weird with my work outs though. For the most part I am pretty much on with my reps and sets when I write them down in the work out part of the blog. However there are some times when I do do more one set or I may do 2 less the next set. But let it be known that I 85-90% always go to FAILURE. I try and push myself, and to continous go till my comfort zone. Yes this may not be correct in any way shape or form but I have been pushed to anxiety attacks over rep numbers, not being able to get a higher weight then last week, even looking in the mirror has sent me home. Even worse? I have cried at the incline leg press before.. lol. Fucked up.
 
Anyways I didn’t mean to get into that.. but I just remembered the common questions I have been recently asked.
Lets move on to the real reason I even wanted to randomly start blogging at 11 at night.
I hate myself right now. Yes hate is a strong word and I don’t feel like pressing the delete button or moving my mouse and rewriting the sentence (so yes I will just continue to write even more lol therefore taking up more time when I really could of just rewrote the sentence and now I can’t stop writing).. haha.. I am jiggling literally as the laptop rests upon my legs (think laying in bed, lap top on quads on a 45 degree angle) gosh Im retarded. okay but literally i am jiggling. and before when I was downstairs I realized how soft I am lol. FUCK.
 
Listen I have NOT been at the gym in about 2 weeks. Not to mention I have not given A FUCK what has gone in my mouth recently…………. lol
 
but really its sad. I am so uncomfortable these days and TODAY I got my period = (besides TMI) MAJOR BLOAT + MAJOR MENS. PAINS = 😦
 
Everything sucks. I haven’t started this month off right but I promise as you are reading this, whoever and ALL who you are, I  promise tomorrow will be different. I suppose not for anyone else but myself but I want to be held accountable. Him and I set a short term goal of 4 weeks (so until July 4) to do a few things differently for ourselves and I really want to hold true to that. I really think we can ALL do what we put our minds too..but I think sometimes people don’t always see the long term goal or reward and just give up for the “time being”.. but overall you will change things about you that you want to change when your ready. No one should be faulted for that. Its been 6 months since I quit smoking cigarettes and that was a personal choice. I should have even weeks ago but I secretly liked to smoke :/
Honeslty I don’t even feel that much different, or even the added benefits lol but I think I soley based my choice to quit that it simply wasn’t healthy. And deep down thats a huge personal goal of mine. I know a lot of things I still do aren’t, but I want to change that. So, be the change you wish to see in the world, right?
Easier said then done.
 
Maybe..:)
 
I’m excited for tomorrows blog btw.
 
Food prep and my first (of many) leg work outs back from my “fat staycation”. I am going to be so fucking sore this week its going to suck. And now after all that zombie bullshit I am a little weary on taking my salt bathes after work outs. Fuck that shit. UNREAL.
 
I cannot stay focused for the life of me.
Yeah.. I don’t know if this blog had a point or not.
So hopefully I already made one because I just got tired again…
 

..So goodnight ❤

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The only journey is the journey within..

..and you better strap on (lol), because this is gonna be a bumpy ride.
 
Not even kidding.
 
I was updating pictures, blog posts and emails last night when I spotted a journal I had used while I was training for one of my very first shows. It mostly talks about relationships and how I am feeling throughout the days (pretty much my blog in writing). What I found to be pretty common in the posts, is me trying to understand why I binged like I did. I am still almost lost after reading even what I thought were my triggers, however I don’t really need expect or even want an explanation, but I want to be able to shed light for others. I truly believe the best teachers out there are the ones with experience. Yes, knowledge is incredibly sexy and intimidating, but experience is real life situations turned (hopefully) positive lessons learned.
 
So what I found in common was how much I wrote about food, and how it consumes me more than I consume it (which is ALMOST hard to believe right?)..My mind is constantly surrounded by images of food, when, where or if I’ll eat something, anything or everything. Fitness, weight Loss, anything revolving around my body image, clouded my brain every  s i n g l e day. NOTHING else mattered when it came down to it. With that being said, I believe I will be in the fitness industry/ have a healthy background/lifestyle till the day I die. I am not one that could continue day to day being or feeling over weight.
 
I have been heavy (or what I feel  is over weight and completely and utterly UNFUCKINGCOMFORTABLE!), and I have never hated myself more. Me being/feeling uncomfortable is nothing less than a recipe for disaster aka my main “trigger”, and for someone who wants peace in the world and hates bullying and abuse against animals blahblahblah hippie shit.. I sure practice hate in my heart, against m y s e l f. How horrible. What a SHITTY way of living and I have done this for YEARS. Eating disorder after eating disorder. Tear after tear. This was my life.
I want everyone to know out there that you need to do this for yourself. Please don;t try to drastically change for a boy or girl to get them to like you. Because if you don’t even like yourself I promise you its going to be an upward battle. Stay patient and know that if you wish, this doesn’t have to be forever. Things do change.

So tomorrow is June 1st..

..It marks my 100th post, && 6 Months Cigarette Free

It is also the day I start (just) a 7 day cleanse, 2 and 1/2 weeks till contest prep, and another journey towards Operation Gonna GROW! hahahaha.. No joke. I WANT HUGE LEGS! Okay not huge, but look at Larissa Reis‘ Quads.. O. M. G.. #inlove haha
 
 
Like.. I could cry at how beautiful her legs are. lol.
 
Alright so I am ready to kick some ass. I have a pretty dope support system, and finding ways to focus on being and staying positive. I know my blog has just gotten personal and not fitness related (like it was), but that will all change. This weekend I am going to get organized (LOL.. literally just said I am the most organized unorganized person there is)… ha. That’s it for now. Life has been up and down lately, but I am holding my head up 🙂
 
oh P.S – I’m taking up running too, thanks to jlgentry
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First Shit Show of the Summer.

Where do I even begin?
What was suppose to be a mini 3 day vaca, couldn’t even start off on the right foot.
 
For the most part I will just post pictures (even though I don’t have many because my phone was always dead).. just because I don’t even know if words will or can describe this fucking shit show. 
 
So let’s start off with waiting for the boys to come scoop Marley and I up. Mom thinks it’s a good idea to start on about my relationship with one of the boys I have been “seeing”. I know I haven’t been open about my personal life but when its necessary I will. With that being said and without saying much, she kind of started bashing him. Ok, so I wouldn’t say “bashing” but not talking positively about our little so called “relationship”… okay fuck it, she thinks that since we are having sex that hes using me. Ok granted in most of my past relationships I have been used (and have been the user so I am no pocket of sunshine) but what she doesn’t know that if I didn’t want the sex I wouldn’t have it. Is it that hard to comprehend? The sex is great and until further notice I will continue to have it. In NO way shape or form do I feel used. This guy (again, without even saying much) is just short of amazing. And since I now know that you read my blogs, I hope you’re blushing 😉 lol kidding but honestly I hope you know that I pray to God everyday, thanking him for putting you in my life. 
 
Okay okay okay.. exactly why I don’t get all emotional and shit lol because it sounds like that ^ ^ 🙂
 
So after our argument, blood was starting to boil…. walked upstairs to get the cage out of my room (for Marley) and I literally could not figure out  how the FUCK to tear it down.. I wanted to throw it out the fucking window. My mom started getting pissed because she said it sounded like I was going to come thru the ceiling so I said fuck it and left it. Now.. maybe I should let it be known that I have always have problems managing my anger and just scream and swear and act immature as a way to cope. I have learned that this is not a healthy way of living. Trust me. 
 
So as hot tempered Marissa bitch fitted her way out the door, the boys roll up. Now.. we rented a car for the weekend because we were bringing up two dogs and a shit ton of….shit I guess (fishing poles food coolers ext) and again… 2 fucking pit bulls lol. Okay.. so they roll up.. I start putting my shit in the car and we try to get the dogs in there as well.. Well….. that didn’t work out as well as I had planned. At this point.. with the littlest shit pissing me off, I didn’t even want to go. Not to mention guess who was sitting in the SMALL ASS backseat with 1 huge pit trying to bang my baby girl THE WHOLE FUCKING TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
Fuck it.. not even that important.. I sat there quietly. Awkward. as. fuck. Until I realized that I wanted to drink. So I did just that. 3 hours later we pulled up to his house. At this point I realized that I needed to suck it all up for once and stop being such a gosh darn princess. We all unpacked and I made the boys peanut butter and jelly on my little bad ass sandwich grill lol.. So as we ate and drank we just chilled for a bit.
 

Fast forwarding to Saturday Morning..

 
..I impatiently wait around and before noon even hit we were in the car heading down to the water. We get into the water and we all start drinking (more so because I was freezing and the sun wasn’t out.. just like earlier where life sucked in the back of the car, apparently drinking solves problems)… a couple of bites later, the weather turned. Rain start pouring down and we headed back to shore. I was still sitting on the edge with my rod in the water… I swear rain helps fishers lol.. but it didn’t. No big deal. We head home, change and probably start drinking again. Later that night we headed to the casino and I pissed away a little bit of money.. nothing too drastic (but I can SURE as fuck see how people lose mortgages.. holy fuck).. So we all decided to sit down at the roulette table which had turned all digital, it was all touch screen. It was awesome. I sat by my dude for a bit and picked some numbers for him.. probably 20 minutes later Kornel put $20 on my screen and I started playing. I swear, INSTANTLY I was up at least double my money. I ended up walking about with $60 lol… not bad for nothing right? On our way back from the casino we stopped at this strip club that I had been to once before. Now granted I haven’t been to many strip clubs but this was like nothing short of a hole in the wall (speaking of random holes.. omg jk lol)… but just remember, I am in Wisconsin. LOL.
Here.. you weren’t suppose to take pictures but I clearly can’t follow rules…So that’s Teddy pretty much getting molested and loving it. I got groped by a stripper and my boobs were taken out and fondled. lmfao. so dirty idk wtf was going on. We leave the strip club, and we run into a younger guy (early 20’s ??) walking with a cane. I don’t know how this all started but we all got to talking. Long story short he pretty much got jumped (a pussy way of beating the crap out of someone), and it left him paralyzed. Holy fuck I know I am a bitch, but I cry like one too. I swear I could cry at the drop of a dime. sometimes, it sucks lol. But my heart dropped.. I felt so fucking bad. After we all keep drinking till the bar closed, we headed back home. The car ride back got pretty heated though. I swore at his friend (teddy) and pretty much didn’t hold back when he started saying shit I didn’t like. Clearly I was drunk so I don’t remember what was said I just know that when I get passionate about something (or feel that someone is being disrespected) I have NO problem letting people know whats up. I just don’t think being ignorant/disrespectful/hurtful is anyway shape or form is something to be proud about. I have hurt so many people in the past, that I am ashamed of it and hope that I am doing a better job not even for myself, but because of the pain I have brought on to so many people. It’s disgusting to even think about.Anyways lmfao.
blahblahblah I don’t remember anything after the car ride… soooo moving on lol..
 

Sunday Morning..

..and I am up before anyone else..aaaaaaaaaaagain (745am exactly lol). wait and wait and wait….teddy wakes up…waiiiitingggggggggggggggggg. I get annoying and wake Mike up. I keep lying to everyone and telling em its later then it really is and that we are pissing away our vaca hours! lol. I honestly dont care what people think of me anymore (I think I pissed both his friends off at some point, AND him now that I think about it lol)… so we pack up the booze and the rods and errrrybody and head out (not even 11am lol), we stop at the gas station and pick up some chasers and the boys all got cigarettes (btw 5 months CLEAN BITCHES!!) lol.. so we all start to head out and we hear something drop off the boat when Mike veered off the road a bit. Later we find out its my bowl that I have had for years.. literally years. lol. Super pissed (well kinda..shit happens).Sun is shining, boats in the water, drinks in one hand, fishing poles in the other.
We all have a good time, drinking and fishing.. Jumping into the water, falling into the water all for a few hours (besides waking up in the morning, this entire weekend I never actually knew what time it was lol).. So the sun was shining, temperature rising to the high 90’s.. Apparently I got drunk and passed out and now I have incredible sun burns.. oh.. and bruises. Words cant describe them and actually neither can these pictures because my bruises are BAD (falling into the water and boosting myself back up are the only things I can think of as to why I look like I got my ass beat). lol. So Sunday night was nice, we all chilled a bit, drinking more lol.. (don’t remember anything late night though)..

Monday Morning..

..I wait and wait and wait for people to get up. Teddy and I say fuck it and go and try to find my bowl on the side of the street. We pull up and park and as soon as we get out of the car I have 7 mosquitoes on me. 7. Fucking so fucking stupid. What the fuck. I was so annoyed all weekend because of these damn mosquitoes lol.
 
So as you probably could of guessed, we didn’t fucking find it. whatever. Just add it to the reasons this was a stupid shit show.. I don’t know a lot of these details lol so I went and asked this boy (enter smile here), and as what I waited to say happened Monday actually happened Sunday…. so lets back track.. blahblah were back to Sunday..
 
I happen to like this boy. We are nothing official unless Facebook adds a Friends with Benefits or Best Friends who are having sex button or “title”. I am okay with this. I actually PREFER this. YES ladies and gentlemen, I prefer this over being in a relationship. I am not going to get sappy or tell you how I don’t guys (Lol.. its true, but I also just don’t like people in general) <– true as shit and maybe I will post a separate blog as to why I wish I could keep the things I want and get dropped off on an island by myself (and the things I choose ect)..
 
..anyways another disclaimer/reminder? I AM AN EMOTIONAL ASS FUCK!
 
okay well.. that and I am very intuitive.. it’s almost scary sometimes. That being said I went thru his phone. I have never wanted to do it.. EVER. I can’t even explain why I did it. Well I happened to see texts from him and another girl (same girl we bumped into when I was out with him for his friends birthday), going back and forth about how he still loves her and how I am just a friend. Now.. I had NO right to do what I did (let this be known). I KNOWINGLY thru away trust and respect when I did that, but no joke.. Something inside me,  felt like I had to. Seek and you shall find.
 
My heart hit the floor. After all the conversations we had had, HE (out of all people) does this to me..? It was a slap in the face.. more like a spit in the face rather. I left the messages up of where it said he still loved her and set it on the table, plain sight, out in the open, the first thing he will see when he opens up the door and follows me inside. I meet him outside on the verge of a panic attack.. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I was 3 and 1/2 hours away with no reception. I wanted to throw up. I looked at him and calmly (legit calm) told him that I was going into our room and how I didn’t want to be bothered for the entire time. He looked at me, back down (probably because I wasn’t hyperventilating  like I wanted to, or screaming and slapping him in the face).. I swear sometimes I think I am psychotic. He was confused until after I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him, then I think the confusing got worse. I walked away and shut the door to our bathroom and sat on the toilet. I had NO idea what the fuck I was going to do. Had this been done in Illinois I would have NEVER spoken to him again. This is no way short of the truth, I am THAT stubborn. So I sat there, he came in, phone in hand. I don’t remember much of the details but I have never called someone a scumbag as much as I did that day. FUCKKKKKK was I hurt. He tried explaining, and I’ll cut this shit short, I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt. His logic only made sense to him, and as I tried explaining it I think he understands where I’m coming from. You don’t tell an exes best friend that you’re still in love with her and either a. think that wont be repeated or b.make her stop texting you? I don’t know and I don’t care, (To him: you’re only hurting yourself in the end babe..if you love her fight for her. No joke loves hard to find)..
 
 Okay so..that was like the cherry on top.
 
..Now you may be confused on why I was even pissed in the first place because I did this to myself and he really didn’t do anything. I mean I AM just his friend.. but the whole love thing…. again that’s not something you throw around. If it didn’t hurt me it should hurt the other ears listening. I would NEVER tell someone I was still in love with them if I didn’t mean it. THAT shit breaks hearts.. so do you get where I am coming from now? I mean 5 years he spent with this girl.. 2 months later we started “talking”.. shit has been great no bullshit no drama then this shit? And after my mom mentioned something to this extent MINUTES before he came and picked me up? Fucking weirrrrrddddd. Lol. But everything happens for a reason. Not even those weird signs but just the fact that this happened in Wisconsin. Like I wish all of you readers knew me on a personal level just so you know how I view life because I really am trying to be passionate about LIVING that I don’t DEAL with “drama”. That shit doesn’t phase me. You know why? I don’t allow it too. Yes shit pisses me off but nothing I can’t handle. So after that, probably countless apologies later, shit was like that never even happened..back to MONDAY.. shit was fine. I bitched some more about being hungry that they eventually got up and headed out to breakfast. Since we were already in bumble fuck we had to drive probably 15-30min away just to find some food (lol), not to mention it was memorial day… lol.. in Wisconsin wheres there like 2 McDonald’s in the entire state, we pull up to some breakfast place (kinda super excited only because small hole in the walls, unlike strip clubs, are fucking awesome) “rumored to be the best breakfast in town” (uh well no shit Sherlock you’re the ONLY breakfast place in town)… whatever. LOL. Teddy and I walk in while the other boys smoked a cig. Lady took awhile to even notice me, so teddy went and smoked a cig too.. She acknowledged me and then sat me. They all sat down and we looked over the menu which was awesome. lol I wanted EVERYTHING. I ended up like wanted a “Denver Scrambler” (actually spelled scramblee and realized how close the r is to the e and decided to correct it because y’all would just think I misspelled it and now know they did not name a scrambler a scramblee lol). It was Ham Onions Red Peppers and Cheddar Cheese. So when it was my time to order, I wanted that scrambler with Sausage instead of ham. She told me that I cant substitute the scramblers. I don’t know why but I said okay and someone else ordered. As I was scrambling around I wanted a different “scrambler” (wasn’t technically a scrambler but I forgot the name) and figured that I just couldn’t substitute but I could take out. So it had mushrooms and beans, but everything I wanted, I didn’t even want to add anything and she told me I couldn’t even do that…. blood fucking boiling. I had been hungry for the past 3 hours and now this waitress is making me look like a retard. So pretty much if his friends weren’t there I would of walked out. Again, no joke. She pissed me off that much. At first ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS CHANGE HAM TO SAUSAGE. Are you shitting me? Then ALL I WANTED WAS TO TAKE 2 INGREDIENTS OUT!!! Lmfao. God forbid. At that point I didn’t even want to eat I was just so fucking annoyed. Lol. Holy shit balls get me home.We stayed around for a little bit (sleeping, drinking ect), then started playing Frisbee. Time started to pass and it was already 6:30pm.. Teddy was going to stay (so he was getting tipsy) and we decided that we needed to leave soon. We packed up and cleaned the place up a bit, while Kornel was telling Teddy he’ll drive his car (FUCK YEA! Meaning I didn’t have to sit in the back with 2 dogs, sober and sun burnt as hell. NO FUCKING THANK YOU ). We got our shit in the car and headed out. About an hour and 1/2 later we stopped for food and I swear it was the best part of the trip. I need to go to AW again. Hamburger and chili cheese fries (and CHEESE CURDS HOLY FUCK) needs to be in my belly again. After that, another 2 hours later and I was passed out in my bed. Sun burnt but alive.
 

 

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If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.

Agenda for Monday:

9-5pm Work
530pm Back Work out with Taylor @ X Sport in A.H
7pm Yoga

Marley’s Agenda for Monday..

Me leaving the house today.. I forgot my lunch box and gym bag in the car.

The Food Log

830am Quest Bar (Vanilla Almond)
1130am Greek Yogurt
2pm Chicken with Mixed Veggies
530pm Chicken with Broccoli
8pm Almond Butter on P28 Bread
11pm Don’t know yet.

The Work Out:

BACK ATTACK!

Focusing on:

Lat Pull down
Pullups
and Rows

LIFTING AS HEAVY AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT LOSING FORM!

PLUS +

60 Min of YOGA.. yep. Yoga.. wtf am I gonna do? Taylor is like a super star and my dog can do a better downward dog then I can.. Not to mention my legs are so fucking sore still that I look like I have a huge load in my pants. HA… this should be fun. OH and this is my past employer lol (I worked here for 4 years).. so that should add to the interesting part.

Goals for the next 4 weeks:

  • Have a cheat (or 2) on the weekends ONLY!
  • Gym session 6 days a week for 45-60 minutes of weight resistance training.
  • Focus on growth not weight loss.

Don’t know how that last bullet will effect me. I really would LOVE to see my abs 24/7 but I also want defined arms and HUGE ass legs (not to mention, keeping my huge ass…ass). Pretty much meaning that I am going to lay off cardio a bit. I think I will do it if I feel like it (which is usually never, but hey!), but I won’t beat myself up over it. I will however, eat clean as shit. I want to see what my body is capable of. I want to stop with the excuses and stop with the dumb ass binges that happen every now and again. I think that since I am allowed back my fruits that it will subside any sugar cravings I may have. I honestly feel like that part of my life is gone. Yes I have consumed A LOT of food in the last week that wasn’t in any way shape or form good for me but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed every last bite. Yes I felt like shit afterwards and about 3 days after but I enjoyed it because I LET MYSELF! I need to learn to love myself regardless of a bloated belly or a significant muffin top. My weight doesn’t define me and as much as I am obsessed with fitness and health, I will never stray down the broken road of disordered eating again. I will never throw up or starve myself EVER again. EVER. Yes people call me obsessed and a fitness freak blahblahblah.. but they don’t know the battle I fought to get where I am. This is MY body, MY life and I will not stop the journey I am on, till I can HONESTLY say that I love myself with everything I have. Now please don’t take this like I want to be perfect, or I am striving for any of that sort, because that wouldn’t be fair. I want to accept myself as I better myself. I am doing this for me.

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78 :(

Ohhhh Monday.

6am Cardio
9-5
Work
6-9 Nutrition Class

The Food Log..

8am Quest Bar
11am Blackened Chicken Breast
230pm Ground Turkey w/ Spinach
6pm Chicken Breast w/ Veggies
9pm 2 Mini Ground Turkey Filets

The Workout..

6am 30 Minutes Cardio

Day 78 in Pictures..

Today was just another day. Not feeling too good. Looked at myself and I do NOT look like how I should for my contest. Not going to give up thought, I have been training for months and I lost a lot of weight and I look TEN times better then how I looked before I started all this. I may not look how I want now, but I will. This is my lifestyle now, just sucks I put pressure on myself to lose the weight in a timely manner. Ugh.  I have to stay positive.  Sorry this blog was so short. 😦

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Day 73 I apologize in advance if you open this.

Okay. I think I’m done with that. My sweet tooth is ah rockin’. I don’t know where teh cravings came from but they are here. Mind you I probably wont ever have my favorite foods (like the above mentioned) but these made a little happy dance in my mouth. No joke.. I could binge for days on this kind of sugar.. I didnt however take a picture of the Pizza Pot Pie.. okay now, I am allowing myself to take a trip here. It is in Chicago and I hear you will always wait no less than 60  min. It comes in a small size then a lb then 2 lbs (but I hear only 7-8 people have eaten the entire thing), it looks AMAZING. SIMPLY DIVINE! A huge “BOWL” of crust with whatever you want in it (I love just cheese on my pizza), so a bowl of homemade suace with a heeping cover of cheese. Holy Shit. Okay okay I’ll post a picture haha 🙂 AND… ONLY because I will already be in Chicago I will try out Sprinkles cupcakes.. I am super excited.. but more importantly I am looking forward to cooking my healthy cooking again.. I have AWESOME recipes to try out and I miss my Lara bars and my fruit smoothies.. (that’s  possibly why I am having cravings.. I cut out my fruit aka sugar!!)..  But anywho.. today is a busy day..

Got up at 530am, did 45min of the stairs.. work from 9-5, class from 6-950, then a quick 45-60min round of cardio 🙂

The Food Log..

7am Protein Shake (1/4c Oatmeal, Dymatize, 2Tbs PB2, Ice, Water)
11am Chicken Breast
1pm 1/4 c Almonds
4pm Extra Lean Ground Turkey w/ Broccoli and mustard.
7pm Chicken Breast
11pm Protein Shake (Dymatize, PB2)

The Workout..

6am 45 Min Stairmaster
10pm 45 Min Stairmaster

Day 73 in Pictures…. have you had enough with the pictures yet??

http://www.somethingshinyblog.com/2011/10/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-cake.html

Holy shitballs. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t help it. If you want an awesome cheat I left the recipe up top … :/// and this I found on pinterest…. actually I pretty much find all my munchie “wishicouldeatthis” on pinterest.

Actually I was going to post my normal pictures of the day, but fuck it.. This is practically what I thought about constantly. Not to mention I ate a few slices of pineapple. Paid for it later, let me tell you. My stomach was in knots. 😦 Anywho.. had a psych test and bombed it. Literally guessed on every single question. I didn’t even read them. Just waited for him to give us like 5 answers so I’d at least get something right. I don’t care. We do not get along, and I do not agree with how he teaches. Well everyone have a good morning! Achieve dream and believe.

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Day 66 The virtue lies in the struggle, not in the prize.

Original Schedule:

6am Workout
9-5pm Autowerks
615-9pm Psych Class
930-1030pm Leg Workout

now it’s

9am Workout
3pm Another Work Out
615-9pm Class

UPDATE

9am Workout
630-830pm Workout. lol. 😦

Btw bought a Timeflies ticket AWHILE ago, and its today and I am not going. 😦 too stressed out.. too sick and I really don’t want to miss class……(I’m such  nerd).

So yes that means I skipped work today. I still feel like complete shit. I have NO idea what is wrong with me. I am use to the whole acid reflux thing but this is going on two SOLID days, and well see if its going to be day 3. I stayed up pretty late because I couldn’t get to sleep. So total of 4 work outs missed. No big deal. Tomorrow I am 4 weeks out. One solid month. Now its getting serious. I WILL do my best/hardest. I will make up for those lost workouts but how intense my work outs get. I am giving up carbonation (no energy drinks or my  love of diet coke), just water tea and some propel (for at least the first two weeks). No more pre workout, and no fruits (only in the morning). Later (depending how I look) the list will continue on things I can’t eat lol. The last week/ week and 1/2 will be the hardest, distilled water, grapefruit, only chicken and tuna, and asparagus. WAMPPPPPPPP So that is a little update on everything. I have been super stressed with the deciding of the bikini, but its done and its being made and now that rock is off my shoulders. I just need to focus on feeling the workouts and spicing up the intensity a bit. ALOT of plyo work will be done, and stretching. For some reason I am enjoying stretching a WHOLE lot (mostly when my legs are sore and I have cardio to do, you feel the pull and it feels great)…. will add to this but its only 1130 and usually I don’t have time to explain a bit but here you go.. Tomorrow I will make everything more formal just in case people are following biweekly.

The Food Log..

10am Protein Shake 🙂 See picture.
1pm Muscle Egg (I just chugged lol)
330pm Grilled (chicken and asparagus)
6pm Chugged Muscle Egg again
830pm Protein Shake
11pm 1 Salt Free Rice Cake w/ Protein Chocolate Almond Butter

The Work Out..

9am Cardio on an empty stomach.

630pm Shoulder Work Out.

Seated Shoulder Press

30lbs x 10 reps x 4

Lateral Raise

45lbs x 10 reps x 4

Plyo Work consisted of:

Bosu Ball Burpees (to shoulder press)

Bw x 10 x 4

Planks 1:30 each set

Squat to Front Raise/ Shoulder Press

15lbs x 15 x 3 (x1)

60 Minutes of Cardio (+45min from earlier) = 1Hr 45min (not including plyo) of cardio 🙂

Day 66 in Pictures..

  1. Lululemon surprised me. lol. Just forgot I ordered these 🙂
  2. Got here just in time. Fixed the stairmasters.
  3. My protein shake after my AM cardio. Last day for fruit :/
  4. Just thought it was a cool pic.
  5. Grilling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  6. Marley. The love of my life.
  7. Boulder Shoulder Plyo Work Out.
  8. Post Work Out Meal. Lol  just threw the strawberries in.
  9. My mom hiding cake from me.
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Day 61 the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

The Diet

For some reason my pictures do NOT want to load.

930am Protein Shake (Dymatize, Strawberries, Flax, Ice, Water).
1pm 1/4lb Roast beef w/ almonds
430pm Blackened Chicken Breast w/ Soy Sauce w/ Almonds.
6pm More Almonds.. omg fml.
1030pm 2 Salt Free Rice Cakes w/ Protein Almond Butter *

*New and its AWESOME!!!!! 14g protein 4g carbs 6g fiber and only 1g of sugar 🙂

The Work Out

3 Supersets of Lying Chest Press & Flyes…

30lbs (each arm) x 12 reps w/

15lbs (each arm) x 8-10

4 sets of cable presses (weight unknown)

10 Minutes of Bosu Ball Burpees, 30 sec ski jumps and 15-25 Jump Squats*

*GREAT for your ass/legs..

5 Minute Planks

45 Min Cardio

Day 61 in pictures..

  1. A cool picture I took in the car…lol pointless but I didn’t have a morning picture.
  2. My good ol Blackened Chicken Breast.
  3. Recipe for blueberry muffins.. have another recipe I am going to try this weekend. Will post recipe tonight 🙂
  4. I cheated on Whole Foods :/
  5. I got (mostly for the day of my competition) but dried mango, and banana. Olive oil. Almonds. Apple Vinegar. Not pictured: Artichoke. Asparagus. Dark Chocolate.
  6. My plyo workout equipment. Don’t think you need a whole lot to work out.. 🙂
  7. This is ME. Today.
  8. Look what came while I was working out?!??!?!!?!?!??!!?!?
  9. A NEW CHOCOLATE ALMOND BUTTER!!!!!! 14 G Protein 4g Carb 6g Fiber and only 1 G of sugar. Fuck. Yes. and only $18.99 LMFAO.. I know I know… whatever.. and its awesome and still has only like 5 ingredients.. I still have yet to try my muscle egg lol and I just paid $75 for them. Yep. I am nuts.
  10. Last picture is me throwing away pointless oatmeal mixes. I just keep throwing away food and buying better shit.. it cost me a lot more to feed the mother (lol) but I rather her eat how I do then have to deal with stupid bullshit around the house.. I don’t know.. we shall see.

5 weeks out. kinda getting scared shitless because I don’t even have my suit. Yes that means I haven’t even ordered it. So yes that means I will pay an extra $50 to have it shipped and made sooner.

Life of a procrastinator = just paying more $$$ in the end lol. I swear it happens every time.. like when I decide not to pay my speeding tickets on time….. ohhhhhhhh will I ever learn. ALRIGHT well listen up PLEASEEEEEEE to who ever is reading this I BEG OF YOU please comment with your opinion. I am going to measure and put the final touches into making my bikini. I am so up in the air with what color I want that I am stressing out to the max. Not really (because I could always be more stressed lol), but this isn’t a good feeling. The only thing keeping me from breaking down is, as much as I don’t care for my first suit, I still have it. So all else fails, I do have a back up. So tomorrows post will be dedicated to my bikini choices.

So ever since it hit me that my show is around the corner, I have been stepping it up a notch. I am going to start my morning cardio tomorrow.. oh joy, and hopefully just keep leaning out. My legs are still pretty big (still have my ass though, so that is WONDERFUL), just need to stay positive 🙂 Not to mention I have a few tests this week, 2 classes, a 12 page paper due, a 40+ hour job and a thought process that lasts a solid 30 seconds. To think I am still sane. Ha.

This weekend will be a little light on the blogging, again tomorrow will be dedicated to my bikini, and hopefully get to relax a little. Enjoy the holidays and WORK OUT! & EAT CLEAN and here is some motivation and an AWESOME recipe to try.. gosh I am so darn thoughtful…. 😉

Buttery Apple Streusel Oat Squares

Adapted from Ashley’s apple toppingStrawberry Oat Squares, and pumpkin apple streusel muffins.

Ingredients:

For Oat Base:

  • 1.5 cups regular oats
  • 1 cup whole-grain Kamut flour (or whole wheat pastry flour or white/whole wheat)
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/2 tsp sea salt
  • 1/2 cup Sucanat sugar (or brown sugar)
  • 1 chia egg (1 tbsp chia seeds+ 4 tbsp warm water, mixed well and set aside for 5 mins)
  • 1/2 cup + 2 tbsp Earth Balance, melted
  • 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 2 tbsp almond milk

For Buttery Apple Mixture:

Ingredients:

  • 3 granny Smith Apples, peeled, thinly sliced, chopped (makes approx 3 cups, chopped)
  • 2 tbsp Earth balance or butter
  • 1 tbsp maple syrup or brown rice syrup
  • 1 tbsp Sucanat (or brown sugar)
  • 3/4 tsp cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp ginger
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg
  • Pinch sea salt

Apple Streusel Topping:

Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp Sucanat (or brown sugar)
  • 1 tbsp Earth Balance or butter
  • 2 tbsp flour
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

Directions: Preheat oven to 350F. Line a square pan (I used a 9×9) with parchment paper and oil the sides of the pan and base. In a medium sized pot, add the apple mixture ingredients (chopped apples, Earth Balance, brown rice or maple syrup, spices). Heat over low, stirring frequently for about 10 minutes, until the apples soften and mixture thickens up.

In a small bowl, mix the chia or flax egg and set aside. In a large bowl, mix the oat base dry ingredients: oats, flour, Sucanat/brown sugar, baking soda, salt. In a small bowl, mix the melted earth balance, maple syrup, almond milk, vanilla, and chia egg. Stir well.

Add the wet mixture to the dry and mix well, using hands if necessary. Set aside 1/2 cup of the oat base mixture if desired. Pour the oat mixture onto the square pan and press down with fingers. Use a pastry roller to smooth out if desired. Pour on cooked apple mixture and smooth out. Make the apple streusel topping by mixing all ingredients together with a fork or fingers. Now sprinkle on the reserved 1/2 cup oat mixture and apple streusel topping and sprinkle over top.

Bake at 350F for approximately 30 minutes. Allow to fully cool for at least 30-40 minutes before gently removing from pan. You can firm them up in the fridge before slicing into squares or bars. The bars also freeze very well (I place them into a container in the freezer).

HOW GOOD DO THOSE LOOK??????????! and then we have her… who looks very good 😉

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Day 60 The hardest victory is over self.

Thursday

Ain't that the mother fuckin truth!

9-5pm Autowerks
730-10pm KILLIN it in the gym. Boulder Shoulders.

The Diet

…is not working. Sorry :/

The Work out

Seated Shoulder Press

30lbs (each arm) x 10reps *supersetted* w/

Squat to Front Raise (ask if you don’t know)

25lbs x 10reps

Lateral Raise

15lbs (each arm) x 10reps *supersetted* w/

Squat to Shoulder Press

30lb (each arm) x 8reps

Front Raise (cables)

5 Minute Planks

45 Minute Cardio

Day 60 in Pictures..

  1. School reimbursed me and it couldn’t have come at a better time. && my protein shake tasted like a jelly doughnut and it was AWESOME!
  2. MY NEW SPERRYS!
  3. Went to Whole Foods because I was going no a road trip. BLACKENED CHICKEN!
  4. Steak pieces…. wtf. lol.
  5. Treat before BOULDER SHOUDLERS!
  6. 330 PLANK!!!!!
  7. After plank.. like a boss.
  8. DINNAH! Post Workout. Sirloin. Brown Rice. Onion.

Today was a good day.. wasn’t at the shop much. Went to Wisconsin and that took a while.. (so I snuck to Whole foods to grab some goodies 🙂 However.. I’ve been thinking about it and I am 5 and 1/2 WEEKS OUT. OMFG! Time is passing and I don’t feel I am giving it my all. Still taking pics so I’ll show y’all the transformation 😉 The next post or two is going to be dedicated to my bikini, because I NEED IT ORDERED LIKE YESTERDAY!!! I really don’t want to stress :/

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