Tag Archives: LIft

Procrastination Post.

Figured I would take this time to reflect. One because I usually do on Sundays and two because things are either about to get a lot better or a lot worse. My boyfriend broke up with me today. Okay maybe he didn’t but long story short, we should have a long time ago. He wanted to talk about it, I simply want to wake away liking him as an amazing person that he is rather someone I despise. Who knows but after this post, I am going to bed. My head hurts and I honestly was going to go out and eat a “cheat meal” aka emotional binge and validating it like a boss. But I didn’t. And I am glad that I didn’t. I had an amazing leg work out, 30 minutes of incline walking, and 2 games of basketball in which I can hardly move. It may be a combination of a ridiculous work out and me taking out 2 guys during a game of basketball. Awkward. yet So badass. My battle wounds are getting better day by day. Lol.. kidding.. but seriously let me enjoy it because I could barely walk up and down the stairs yesterday..

You should see how bad it is now.. lol

You should see how bad it is now.. lol

Workouts have been on point and so was eating. I ended the four-week no cheat and felt like shit doing it. I don’t know. Thinking going lighter.. or at least find a way I feel less guilty about it. Anyways. Not unhappy at all. My body is definitely making progress and I am super stoked. I just need to stay consistent. It is literally key.

Yesterdays leg work out, which I was not excited to find out they were doing legs when I walked in. They were literally mid hack squat and me almost not making the work out, realized I would not have been unhappy if I did. Lol. But it was awesome. I felt (or didn’t feel lol) things I havent felt in a while. Justine had to literally extend a hand to help me off. It was crazy, exhilarating and hurt so damn bad. But good. ya know? ;p My legs were numb. H actually checked my legs out to make sure I didn’t tear anything. Crazy. Lol.. And to think that was JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE WORKOUT@!!!!!! Anyways we did some leg curls ext jefferson squats which are just annoying.. and finished with jumps squats I believe. It was insane. I chilled for a bit and went to chipotle. I ordered food and yet I was not hungry. I felt like I wanted to puke smelling everything. I ended up enjoying the water more than anything.. So I saved 1/2 of it and drank some Gatorade. I finished with clients, did 30 minutes of incline walking with Cylia and late at night played 2 games of basketball after Todd asked H but he declined. After first so did I but after they played a game he got me to play. It was nuts. My legs hurt so bad. We won. That is all.

Lmao.

I am slowing getting better. Going to lift back tomorrow which I am actually quite happy about. I want to post some progress ISH pictures. Mostly because in this picture I finally went under 150lbs! It was about damn time. Lol. Not that I care but it was a little small hooray type ordeal.

Imaweirdo.com

Imaweirdo.com

just chillen in the chipotle bathroom! 147lbs!

just chillen in the chipotle bathroom! 147lbs!

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😛

Wednesday: Clearly I haven’t found enough time to get to a wifi connection to post this. I have friday off so I will edit and post. I let this whole break up ruin my work out today. Then I ate some oreos. I realized that I take care of everyone before myself. I am 50% sure I want this break up. I validate binging and eating like shit on any bad situation. enjoy in the time, then hate myself not for eating it because I clearly loved it but hate that I am either behind now on how I want to look or I have more work to do. Knowing that I set myself back is the only reason I feel guilty about eating crap food. MMMMMMM I dont know. I feel sad.

#Americanhorrostory brb ;P

Thursday: Passed out after AHS. I love this show. Slept in, rescheduled the two clients I had. My body hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts. I’ve been crying lately. Speaking of crying.. I was on facebook.. yep reactivated it.. and it was a series of photos that this husband took of his wife while going thru cancer. It was so touching. So sad, but the very last picture was her tombstone that read “I loved it all”, and as I am sitting here hurting over a hard lesson of a break up and this women was battling cancer and still loved life. I instantly was wiping tears from my face and really needed to take some time to reflect on all of this.

I will not allow it to succumb me. You can either crumble or you can conquer and conquer I sure as fuck will.

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NPC Ironman Bikini

Pictures from The NPC Ironman I saw this weekend.

Pictures from The NPC Ironman I saw this weekend.

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Top 3 Physique

Cylia getting teased with Nutella 2 weeks out!

Cylia getting teased with Nutella 2 weeks out!

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Being mentally strong..

is just as important, if not more, than being physically strong. Or, its at least, its beginning stepping stone…

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I am a few days out from a few girls and I’s challenge of a 4 week no cheat. Yes, I’ve done it before but I chose to do it again. This time, I understand how even the slightest mention of something satisfyingly saturated, could immediately be followed with singles to the brain that its craving something crazy! I actually think that’s a fact. That seeing something could stimulate the mind to want/ or desire it. Which clearly makes sense. This month though, was tough. I did have a few oreos last night (I don’t know what got into me! they were even in the house for 3 days before I CAVED!!!!), but that was the extent of it. I want to go just another day longer to make up for it. I feel like I cheated. Maybe I’ll do it again one day. However, I have learned my lesson.

Everything in moderation.

I did have a quite an easy time “adapting”.. I kept on making those muffins I posted earlier. All sorts of flavors. This time, I “frosted” one. I found cinnamon cream cheese from laughing cow and KNEW I had to put them together. I should have played with the frosting a bit more, or at least adding another LC wedge. Even so, a few co workers of mine loved them. Hopefully lol. But I enjoyed them. So it was nice being able to eat something that didn’t consist of chicken.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip with Cinnamon Laughing Cow Cream Cheese and a Greek Yogurt "Frosting". Thinking about adding raisins instead of chocolate chips.. Or... maybe both ;)

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip with Cinnamon Laughing Cow Cream Cheese and a Greek Yogurt “Frosting”. Thinking about adding raisins instead of chocolate chips.. Or… maybe both 😉

My shopping cart for the week. You see the laughing cow over there to the upper right. Clearly a bunch of essentials like chicken greek yogurt unsweetened apple sauce bananas apples eggs ext. The flavored yogurt however, is when I really am craving something sweet. I def always look at the back of the labels and compare how many calories/sugars/protein they have. For being flavored, light and fit brand is a great choice at only 80 calories and 1/2 of the grams of sugar per any other flavored GY out there.

My shopping cart for the week. You see the laughing cow over there to the upper right. Clearly a bunch of essentials like chicken greek yogurt unsweetened apple sauce bananas apples eggs ext. The flavored yogurt however, is when I really am craving something sweet. I def always look at the back of the labels and compare how many calories/sugars/protein they have. For being flavored, light and fit brand is a great choice at only 80 calories and 1/2 of the grams of sugar per any other flavored GY out there.

Ideas to curb those cravings:

Another way to curb cravings, QUEST BARS! Please, whoever is reading this. Please do yourself a favor and invest in these bad boys. They are extremely guilt free with every bite feeling like youre cheating on your diet. I have recently starting baking them and they are A M A Z I N G! Bake at 400 dedgrees for about 7-8 minutes, flipping half way through!

QUEST BARS! Please, whoever is reading this. Please do yourself a favor and invest in these bad boys. They are extremely guilt free with every bite feeling like youre cheating on your diet. I have recently starting baking them and they are A M A Z I N G! Bake at 400 dedgrees for about 7-8 minutes, flipping half way through!

Hmmm.. Yet ANOTHER quest bar. Imagine that.. This one is the Apple Pie. I baked it and..... my lanta it was even better than the Brownie, and that is by far my favorite far hands down.. SO YOU KNOW ITS GOOD! Haha.. and would you look at that.. More cinnamon cream cheese from the Laughing Cow. Lol #addicted.

Hmmm.. Yet ANOTHER quest bar. Imagine that.. This one is the Apple Pie. I baked it and….. my lanta it was even better than the Brownie, and that is by far my favorite far hands down.. SO YOU KNOW ITS GOOD! Haha.. and would you look at that.. More cinnamon cream cheese from the Laughing Cow. Lol #addicted.

I made these twice now. They are sweet potato protein pancakes. Yep. 1/4c whole wheat flour (can use any one if trying to go gluten free), 1/4-1/2 sweet potato, 2TBS brown rice protein powder, 1/4teaspoon both baking powder/soda, 1 egg, and milk (or water) till it hits the consistency of pancake batter. Proceed like normal pancakes. I then layered the pancakes with... YUP! The Laughing Cow CC lol. I had to heat the cheese up just a bit so it could spread more evenly. I added a few more CC to each layer as well. The chocolate I used was 70% cacao, 32 cc per serving.

I made these twice now. They are sweet potato protein pancakes. Yep. 1/4c whole wheat flour (can use any one if trying to go gluten free), 1/4-1/2 sweet potato, 2TBS brown rice protein powder, 1/4teaspoon both baking powder/soda, 1 egg, and milk (or water) till it hits the consistency of pancake batter. Proceed like normal pancakes. I then layered the pancakes with… YUP! The Laughing Cow CC lol. I had to heat the cheese up just a bit so it could spread more evenly. I added a few more CC to each layer as well. The chocolate I used was 70% cacao, 32 cc per serving.

Ooops.. ;P

Ooops.. ;P

 

Back to Road to Ripped progress thus far..

I doubt I will compete in bikini in November but I am going to keep training like I do have a goal in mind lol. I just got done with a work out. I actually worked out this morning at around 730am. The boy was sleeping and I had been up with the puppy going the bathroom since 4am. I could not fall back asleep, so I figured why waste time and creep instagram when I could be doing something productive. I finished 45 minutes of interval training and ended up going to breakfast for my post work out which was nice. I did, just get back from a lifting session though. I took Marley to the doctor and 3 hours later, decided I needed to hit shoulders, or lift s o m e t h i n g. I tried to go heavy but a spot would have been nice. Before I finished 15 minutes of cardio, I took progress pictures.. so hopefully I can get all that put together b speaking of pictures, I need to go to CVS or something to pick up a disposal camera. I want to start photographing clients. I need to track their progress more than just a lousy scale and a huge measuring tape. I want to get serious, especially with everything happening with the “promotion”. I mean, don’t take that the wrong way, I give a shit. Trust me.. but I don’t know. That’s a whole nother story that I don’t think I am ready to write yet. More so, because it hasn’t been taken care of/solved yet, so this is the last place I want to risk my job at/for… haha… Besides, how many people click the link from my instagram account? Though I did delete FB the other day… yes… Don’t miss it though, phew!

Marley always getting spoiled. Turns out she was or is having a false pregnancy. A little scary but nothing as scary as having to leave the room while they cut her nails. :(:(:( My poor baby!

Marley always getting spoiled. Turns out she was or is having a false pregnancy. A little scary but nothing as scary as having to leave the room while they cut her nails. :(:(:( My poor baby!

Sorry, ADD.

Progress. Yes. I feel like, with the meaning behind this post title, that I have become something I have never been before. I am hoping that not only does my body change, but that I do to, inside. I need some light shed upon this dark cloud above my head…

Physically, I stepped my cardio game up. In a few days I will start tracking calorie intake and out (via my Heart Rate Monitor) and see how things play out. I can say though, that I have hit some new highs in regards to weight and I am loving it. I hurt my wrist a bit (got wrist wraps now) trying to go heavy on my vertical press (but was really hurt doing wheel barrels up the stairs and hand stands) and took a few days off from upper body. I couldn’t even do a push up.. However, in the few short days or weeks, I don’t even know when that was, I hit 105lb for 5(ish) reps (more like 3) on the incline. I also managed over 300lbs for about 10 reps on the leg press and 205lb dead lift for 5 reps.

I really like where all this is going.

Justine (my work out partner) trying out the Leg Ext machine a rather different way. Amazing and one of my new favorite exercises.

Justine (my work out partner) trying out the Leg Ext machine a rather different way. Amazing and one of my new favorite exercises.

Just now, after posting this picture, I receive a text from Justine. I feel like we are both on the same path traveling together on this road to ripped, we have played out in our minds. She is a great girl and has the drive of any one else there willing to put blood sweat and tears in this sport. What gets us all, and has everything to do with the title of this post, is that our minds seem to work against us in some situations. Comparing oneself to anyone else is one of them, and something Justine and I both struggle with. The idea that we will just keep traveling the same path with no added benefits sure sounds like hell to me.. but that’s because we haven’t had that positive mind set. Anyone can tell us anything, but until we believe it, its in one ear out the other. This low self-esteem results in constantly pick ourselves apart..

We need to have faith that what we are doing will ONE DAY pay off.. so why not take it ONE DAY at a time and enjoy the ride, instead of wanting to get off and not ride it at all… I for one, love roller coasters.. and although the ups right now aren’t exactly what I would like, I need to finish one ride before I can try another one out. So, I am sticking to this game plan. Justine. We got this. Lets go another 4 weeks top-notch, system in full gear, and after those 4 weeks well reevaluate the plan again? Okay? I promise.. time will tell and trust me, this sport you NEED patience. We all need patience.

Every single one of us.

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Hump Day Photo Hoarder PII

Lets start with some bad ass motivation!

Lets start with some bad ass motivation!

LOVE THIS!

LOVE THIS!

“Once upon a time, I started working hard to get the results I wanted. But I still fuck up lots.”

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READ

THIS

THIS

I’ve been thinking a lot about guilt lately. Food guilt, not working out guilt, not doing ENOUGH in a work out guilt.

I’ve come a long way from how I use to think about food. As a reward, as a punishment, as a sacrifice to be made. It happened fairly gradually but I made a conscious decision to CHANGE MY PERSPECTIVE. You’ve heard it before food is fuel to feed the beast. I KNOW this. I know I work hard and that I’m eating food. Food that my body needs almost all of the time.

I had my cheat meal last night that I allow myself once a week for sanitys sake. If was absolutely, fantastically delicious and I enjoyed every bite. But you know what else it came with? A little side of guilt. Still? Grrr. So I acknowledged it and sent it the hell away. I don’t have the room in my brain or the time in my life to waste it on that shit.

Before I mightve let that guilty feeling drown me in a pile of Ferrero Roche for the next two days.. .Now I put Ferrero Roche on my list for next weeks cheat.

Look at how random and handsome Bob is. We are babysitting him :)

Look at how random and handsome Bob is. We are babysitting him 🙂

SICK transformation. I love reminding myself with pictures like this, that if they could do it, why couldnt I?

SICK transformation. I love reminding myself with pictures like this, that if they could do it, why couldn’t I? I LACK CONSISTENCY!!!!!!!!!!!

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Ashley Horner. Her legs make me nervous.

So, here are a few photos I have saved that should be shared. I have a love hate relationship with motivational pictures, believe it or not but I can sure as HELL appreciate a beautiful body. Ive been hanging in there. 3 days of the clean eating challenge, down successfully. Score. Slowly working my way back up with weights considering my wrist feels like a new born babys lack of support.

I dont know..  makin me nerrrvous. :/

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Nothing new.

Besides what seemed like my whole life crashing down, I seem to have regained my balance. I went this whole week with great work outs and fantastic eating. This weekend, though, was a different story. I wanted to have 2 cheat meals, instead I practically ate shitty the entire time. Today, I am regretting the entire thing. I am feeling like complete crap. My stomach is hurting and I can’t seem to take enough medicine to help it. This vicious cycle of clean eating, turn binge is causing a lot more damage than keeping me sane. Doing quite the opposite actually. I have said this before and I will say it again, I am going to deal with the consequences but I will no longer beat myself up. Though I feel like I look like shit on top of actually feeling like shit, I need to KEEP, not even take, but keep my head out of my ass. I see what this does to me, yet do this all the time. When will I ever learn?

Starting tomorrow, Monday I am adding two (30-45) minutes of cardio in a week. I will keep my calories at about 2000 to ensure energy through out this process. I was actually contemplating whether I should do more work (cardio) or take down my calories. All of a sudden, I see a post from Erin Stern that very day speaking out about what she does. It makes the most sense. Do more work, keeping energy up for that work, then when time comes, take a few hundred calories off a day. Most likely drop to about 1700 but really all depends on how I look. I am about 3ish months out. If any one has competed knows that magic could happen in that amount of time. Knowing this, I still get bummed out. Summer is over and I wasn’t at my tip-top shape. I wasn’t happy to be in a bikini. Although, I know I looked okay, I didn’t feel great. It’s a little disappointing. But let me tell you, if I wasn’t competing, I would have stepped my game up. I would have done cardio more than once a week, and most likely dropped my calories down to look good. I didn’t want that.

But I struggle each and every day knowing that I completely 100% do.

It is so easy telling everyone around you to trust the process, but damn if it’s not easier said than done…. I look at myself and see so much that needs to be done but in due time. I just want to be lean already!!!! Its frustrating. You know what you could look like and what it’s going to take to get there, yet you look in the mirror and need to say, alright.. one day at a time. It WILL happen. Enjoy this ride..

Really? Thats almost as bad as baking brownies and needing to wait till they cool down to eat them.

Fail.

I feel like this process never gets any easier. This is literally a full-time job and I am getting burnt out. Thats why I took a week off last week, and now I have missed 2 work outs because of it. I feel lazy and unimpressed with my progress. I am consumed with looking and feeling good and its something that I have yet to control. This is not only my hobby, but my job. It is like i know nothing else. Dealing with eating disorders and insecurities it has now merged and become one with my life. If I feel fat, my whole day and attitude is ruined. I take it out on other people in which I apologize, but who really gets affected by this, is myself. I am bipolar as all hell. No, not medically diagnosed, but its a no brainer. I eat shit because of my fuck it attitude, I cry because I then feel like I ruined my progress, I work out hard as hell, then get dumped on by some other lifes curveball and I feel like all I do is take it out on myself.

Life is not easy. I feel like it is a constant struggle to keep my head above water, but I will be damned if I give up this fight. Everyday does NOT get easier, you just find ways to cope. I am going to do my best to stay positive. This road to ripped is sure a long haul but I cannot wait for my destination.

 

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Birthday, Binging and Bitching.

Well well well.. If you would look at that… what’s it been.. over a week now?

In that case, lets take a look into what I have been doing, or have not been doing with a little recap, and random as hell pictures I have taken through out the week…

So, life caught up to me and I have been having a lot of ups and downs. Still trying to feel afloat and stay positive thru everything that’s been thrown at me. I guess that’s all you can do right? A long story short, the week drastically turned for the worse when I visited my college looking for a few answers and was left with nothing. Literally nothing. No financial aid, nothing. I have no idea what went wrong but without help I cannot afford to go. Though, I am taking that with a grain a salt and focusing on spending that time studying for my NASM certificate. My certification that I have now, doesn’t expire for a little less than a year, but I want to refresh myself. I also want a more recognized certification, not some run of the mill one that I currently have.

Progress shot, before I went all ape shit on thousands of calories..

Progress shot, before I went all ape shit on thousands of calories..

Spent friday before work, walking pitbulls at a rescue.

Spent Friday before work, walking pit bulls at a rescue.

After school took a dump on me, I was feeling insecure about the relationship I have with my boyfriend. Things have been super rocky and this takes a total toll on my life. I can’t allow that anymore. I am done over analyzing and not trusting him. Because in the end, I AM THE ONE SUFFERING!!! I am no longer holding my true self hostage over some one else. Yes, I still love him and will love him and will continue the relationship as long as its healthy, but no more doing what I have been doing to myself. Nope. Not going to happen. I would rather lose the relationship than myself.

Yes, some of these pictures are going to have nothing to do with what I am talking about. But thats because telling you what I ate, is well.. rather boring. So instead, just look.  Greek yogurt, blueberries and Kashi cereal.

Yes, some of these pictures are going to have nothing to do with what I am talking about. But that’s because telling you what I ate, is well.. rather boring. So instead, just look.
Greek yogurt, blueberries and Kashi cereal.

Whole Wheat pasta, Ground Turkey and Tomatoes.

Whole Wheat pasta, Ground Turkey and Tomatoes.

Eating a ton of Quest Bars lately. JUST GOT THE WHITE CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY!!!!

Eating a ton of Quest Bars lately. JUST GOT THE WHITE CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY!!!!

Lets jump around to another day shall we? One night we went to his buddies house, after we got some food at Jason’s Deli. I got a whole wheat wrap with spinach and turkey. Or should I say, a spinach wrap with a side of turkey. I was a little disappointed. Had mixed steamed veggies on the side as well. Though shortly after, my stomach started hurting. I ended up spending the entire time on the total debating whether I should move, or if I was in fact going to puke. Lets just say, I made it to the couch safe and sound. Now, this wasn’t exciting but this lead to my binging.

Binged on these too. Healthy or not. Recipe is from Chocolate Covered Katie:     2 cups spelt flour (250g) (All-purpose also works, and a reader had success with Bob’s gf mix plus 1 tsp xantham gum)     1/2 tsp plus 1/8 tsp salt     1/2 tsp cinnamon     2 tsp baking powder     1/2 cup sugar of choice or xylitol (100g)     pinch pure stevia, or 2 tbsp more sugar of choice     1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or white vinegar (15g)     1 cup milk of choice (240g)     1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract (6g)     3 tbsp vegetable or coconut oil (30g)     1 1/3 cups fresh blueberries (165g) Preheat oven to 350 F, and grease a muffin tin or line with muffin liners. In a large mixing bowl, combine first 6 ingredients very well. In a separate bowl, whisk together all remaining ingredients except blueberries. Pour wet into dry, stir until just evenly mixed, and then add the blueberries. Gently stir again, but only until evenly mixed. It’s important to not over-stir and break the berries. Pour into the muffin tins and bake 19 minutes. Muffins should look perfectly domed when you take them out. Allow to sit 10 minutes before removing from the tins. Makes 14-15 muffins.

Binged on these too. Healthy or not. Recipe is from Chocolate Covered Katie:
2 cups spelt flour (250g) (All-purpose also works, and a reader had success with Bob’s gf mix plus 1 tsp xantham gum)
1/2 tsp plus 1/8 tsp salt
1/2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 cup sugar of choice or xylitol (100g)
pinch pure stevia, or 2 tbsp more sugar of choice
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar or white vinegar (15g)
1 cup milk of choice (240g)
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract (6g)
3 tbsp vegetable or coconut oil (30g)
1 1/3 cups fresh blueberries (165g)
Preheat oven to 350 F, and grease a muffin tin or line with muffin liners. In a large mixing bowl, combine first 6 ingredients very well. In a separate bowl, whisk together all remaining ingredients except blueberries. Pour wet into dry, stir until just evenly mixed, and then add the blueberries. Gently stir again, but only until evenly mixed. It’s important to not over-stir and break the berries. Pour into the muffin tins and bake 19 minutes. Muffins should look perfectly domed when you take them out. Allow to sit 10 minutes before removing from the tins. Makes 14-15 muffins.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Quest Bar. Ftw.

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Quest Bar. Ftw.

Yes, you read that right. I, for the first time in MONTHS, binged. I believe it started Sunday night, or mid afternoon. I don’t know what got into me, but after going a month without cheat meals, I went crazy. Waffles and ice cream, chocolate up the ass. Literally.. carbs for days. I don’t know if I was just drained, mentally.. or deprived.. or depressed.. but I definitely stress ate the fuck out of everything in sight. Maybe it was because I knew my birthday was only days away.. but then again that would just be a validation and fuck those. So.. Monday was an all or nothing.. then it led to Tuesday as well. By Wednesday (my birthday), I believe I was alright. I got a work out in (the first one of the week) and continued to eat good.. That is till I got home. I told my boyfriend I was binging (which is the first time I have ever admitted to it) and he felt pretty bad. I think it was because he ended up bringing a pie over (again, for my birthday) and didn’t want me to feel anymore guilty. But let me tell you. I was looking forward to it and regardless of whatever was going on inside my head, it was birthday and I was going to eat it regardless.

Birthday dinner @ Texas de Brazil.

Birthday dinner @ Texas de Brazil.

So, I spent my birthday pretty low key. Hung around the house, got to sleep pretty early. Thursday I had to be up at 4am because I had to wash my spray tan off (L O L) and had clients starting around 5am. Eating wise, I did okay. Snuck a few bites of pie in but nothing too crazy. Wonder why? well let me just cure your curiosity. The boy and I went to an all you can eat meat buffet. Yep. Texas de Brazil 🙂 I knew that going on an empty stomach wasn’t the smartest idea, as you may or may not believe. So I made sure I ate a little previously to eating dinner. THe night didn’t go as planned but I am not going to go into detail about it because I plan on moving on and remembering the good times. After we left for dinner, we rented a movie and got a small thing of ice cream. He mentioned going to the casino but by this time it was around 11pm and anyone that knows me even the slightest bit knows that by 11pm I want to pass the F out.. However.. I was actually open to the idea. After bumming around for 30 minutes we headed out. We only spent about an hour there. The first machine we sat down next to, I ended up winning $75. That was nice. Considering I have been to many casinos and HAVE NEVER WON BEFORE! I ended up cashing out, giving the boo back $20 and kept $40 in my pocket so I would be up all night. Left the casino and headed to bed.

Now we have today. Ate a pretty healthy “breakfast” at around 2pm and hung out with each other till I hate to leave for work at 3. I got to work and trained 2 clients, and then….. had 6 cancellations. Yep. So I ended up half assing a work out, went to the store for a few things and arrived home around 7:30pm.

Now.. a recap of what I have learned this week:

I needed to take a break from eating as clean as I did for 4 weeks.
I cannot depend on someone for my own happiness.
I can eat a lot.

Basically that sums up everything. But since this is a road to ripped, fitness enthused blog. I wanted to take a little look into what this week really meant. I believe that everything happens for a reason. That being said, I truly believe I needed this week “off” to gain control back. I needed to take a look at myself, whether it was in disgust (I mean.. come on. How would you feel THOUSANDS OF CALORIES later???), or in a positive manner. I ended up gaining 7 lbs and although I felt like crap the days I ate like crap (coincidence?), I was physically and mentally drained. I am currently 13 weeks out from another bikini show (which is a huge amount of time), and excited to get back on track. Because although I was LOVING the progress I was making, everything seemed like a chore to me. I was excited about working out (WHEN I was working out) but prior everything about the day was just annoying me. Prepping my meals, working out for however long, dealing with people and clients who didn’t take training seriously, or whatever it was… it was on my last nerve.

7lbs heavier. Just another reason to get my head out of my ass.

7lbs heavier. Just another reason to get my head out of my ass.

So, what I am trying to say, is that sometimes we all need just a mini “vaca” away from our every day life once in a while. Especially if you are competing or working out tremendously throughout the week, you have to LISTEN to your body. NO! I am NOT saying to binge in any way shape or form.. but give yourself a break. If you want a PB&J sandwich.. have that motherfucking PB&J sandwich. This is LIFE.. you are supposed to enjoy it. Don’t fall victim to becoming obsessive and unhealthy about what you are doing. Training should give you a mental toughness on what you can endure. It is a way of life. It is supposed to help motivate you to make healthier decisions, to live longer, to be HAPPY and in LOVE with the person that’s looking back at you in mirror. Try to find a balance. We all just need to find a balance.

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I’ve seen better days.

Of course, its been 3 days since I last posted. Things have been hectic to say the least. Waking up at 4am the past few days and working till 9pm for a company that doesn’t deserve my time, is stressful. That being said, I am actively working towards my own business. No more just saying, but doing. Nerve racking like once said previously, but defiantly motivating in a way.

Other than work, my work outs have been solid and I am currently still doing fantastic on my 4 week no cheat challenge. I am seeing progress and I couldn’t be happier. Yes, I could be a lot leaner but I am keeping my strength which is huge for me. I still don;t know whether or not I want to compete in Nov, but I am definitely going to keep training and eating like I am. I think the only thing that will stop me is the money. It is NOT cheap to compete. It is also very time-consuming and at this very moment I have my college’s homepage up on another tab, hoping to get in some classes. I always have such a positive outlook on things and then instantly I am discouraged. I am hoping I can get my shit together and keep trucking through.

My progress picture.

My progress picture.

My work out partner, looking fly.

My work out partner, looking fly.

I haven’t been writing down or keeping track of what I have been eating. Hopefully, after downloading the My Fitness Pal app, that it will encourage me to do so. It will be interesting and helpful, so why not? Today, however, I ate:

1/2 c oatmeal with blueberries at 4:30am.Mixed in 1/2 Quest Bar at 4:45am.
6 egg whites at 8am.
1/2 c brown rice, broccoli and 6 oz chicken at 12pm.
4 egg whites, a little chicken at 2:30pm.
2 kashi waffles with a few blueberries at 3:00pm.
1/2c greek yogurt at 5:00pm.
6oz chicken and broccoli at 8pm.

More oatmeal. Jeez, you would think I actually like this shit.

More oatmeal. Jeez, you would think I actually like this shit.

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and so far that is it 🙂 I wonder how much this all adds up to. The app is currently downloading so we shall see. Still sticking around 150lbs. Haven’t lost or gained a pound. I don’t know if I am happy or sad about this. LOL. BUTTT I do have 16 weeks till the show and that is a LONG time. I haven’t been doing cardio, nor paid attention to my calorie intake which is important. I guess I’m just in no rush.

Poor Bunny :(

Poor Bunny 😦

Other than work and working out, which has been my whole life the last 3-5 months, my personal life is just okay. Besides having a cat constantly killing baby bunnies (not kidding. I rushed one to the hospital so it could be put out of its misery), I am having issues with the boyfriend, mostly because of the lack of trust. Though, I am going to stay strong and positive even if it kills me. I just wish life was easier. I deal with scumbags all day and I can only imagine what goes on when I;m not there. It’s a hard pill to swallow and I keep wanting to throw it back up. I mean, one day I am all fine an awesome girlfriend, the next I want to break up with him. I just think it would be easier, for both of us. I mean.. it’s not fair (what is?) to either of us. Me not being happy because I can’t get over shit that replays in my head over and over, and for him.. how I treat him and want to break up with him all the time. I hate to put my bullshit out in the air like this ,but it is what it is. I am venting and little do you know, that my personal life affects my work/working out life. It is a constant struggle and each and every emotion I feel, does not get ignored (unfortunately). That is all. If you don’t like it, no one told you to read it.

I just want a happy life with you. Only you. Forever. I know we have a lot to work on, but I WANT to work on it with you. I want a future with you. I love you. I was never like this before, and maybe it’s because I’ve never loved this hard before. But what I do know, is that I want you by my side through THICK and THIN. I promise to make you happy. I promise to never do you wrong. I am yours.

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Tearing $%#@ UP!

Alright, I am obviously not going to be able to write everyday on this thing. Mostly because I am always tired, but more so because my life isn’t that interesting.

C doing her second set of squats. SQUEEZING her glutes!

C doing her second set of squats. SQUEEZING her glutes!

Any who, yesterday I had a kick ass leg work out. I worked out with H and C and tore shit up (at the end.. I thought I tore shit, literally). We started with squats. It went a little like this:

15 warm up squats with just the bar
30 x 95lbs
20 x 135lbs
10 x 165lbs
20 x 135lbs
30 x 95lbs

Each set, we super setted with dead lifts (around 15-20 reps) @ 60lbs. The last 2 sets with 80lbs.

This took an hour and I thought I was going to cry. I was going to tap out, but decided to finish with some leg presses. I did 2 sets of 60 reps with 140lbs. However, I had to take a break in between rep 25 lol. Now.. After THIS I thought I was game over but the dude that came half way in between our squatting session, and I made a unanimous decision we were no longer doing compound exercises. So we opted for leg curl and calf raise. I did ONE set of each and couldn’t physically do anymore. I walked, like a new-born calf, to our pt corner and immediately rolled out my legs using a foam roller. I was going to cry. It felt like I had torn my hamstrings and I was NOT liking this feeling. A few minutes into rolling, I felt fine. I think this helped tremendously and will be more consistent with that little devil.

Post leg day, went to hipotle.

Double steak FTW!

Double steak FTW!

Today, I was fine. I got up and trained from 6-8:30am and wasnt as sore as I thought I would be (tomorrow might be a different story). I had a quest bar on the way to work around 5:45am, and when I came home ate a huge bowl of oatmeal. I usually don’t like oatmeal, but I have been putting tons of fruit in it to make it.. actually quite good.

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Here, I have strawberries, blueberries and a handful of kashi go lean crunch cereal. This is my second day in a row having oatmeal. Imagine that.

Afterwards, I took a nap and decided to skip my upper body work out. I needed rest. My body is taking a beating and regardless of how lean I want to look, I (and YOU) NEED to listen you your body. When its hungry, hurting, tired. LISTEN TO IT!!!!! I slept till around 11am, and got up to eat some brown rice, broccoli and chicken.

Around 1pm, I took Marley to the park and did a little work out. In around 35 minutes of doing, bench jumps (like box jumps, just.. well on a bench), push ups, lunges and single leg squats, I burned 185 calories (40% from fat).

3:30pm – 8pm Trained clients.

In between, I had 1/2c greek yogurt with a handful of blueberries and a plain chicken breast with mustard. HA!

8:30pm Did some cardio. 8.0 incline (on the treadmill because the stairmaster was taken by 3 people who clearly didn’t care much about getting a decent work out in) and a speed of 2.8-3.0. I then left the incline and sprinted for about 30-40 seconds. Dropped the incline to 0 and the speed to 1.0 and did walking lunges (20). Did this 4 times. I then did some ab work and burned in that 40 minutes 241 calories (35% from fat).

Came home and ate some cottage cheese. Saving some calories for a grill session with the boy in an hour or so.

That was my crazy life! Tomorrow I will train upper body. I really want to bench because I haven’t done it in a while but H wont be there. Leaving my back alone for a bit so I will focus on chest and tris. Always want to take my measurements tomorrow. I think I lost my originals so I am not happy but it is what it is. Hopefully I still have my first pictures so that will at least show some progress.

Buttttt I have been thinking that even though I am week 2 of my 4 week no cheat, I want to put in more work. I still have more than 3 months till this bikini comp (that I am training for) but I feel like I am not losing weight. Now, I tell all my clients not to worry about the scale instead focus on clothes fitting, how you feel and look in the mirror but your progress during your work out sessions. So why should I not take my own advice? I just feel like I am comparing myself too much to other girls (C to be exact) that I am not focusing on myself. I am still eating around 2000 calories (A LOT of room for changes) but I feel my mind is pushing me in two different directions. Like, get lean! and the other side is, be patient- focus on lifting! Shoot! One day at a time.. One DAY AT A T I M E!

ONE
DAY
AT
A
TIME.

Repeat over and over and over again. I need to focus one day at a time.

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The life of a Fitness Freak!

Finally.. a night where no alarms are set and NO obligations tomorrow. So what better to do on a Friday night at 9:53pm than to blog? Well not only do I have nothing to do (nor do I want to do anything) but I took a nap around 6:30 for about an hour and half. Not too smart of an idea because I have a feeling I will be up quite late :/ No worries. I will be in bed all night. That, or on the floor doing burpees, planks, pushups and sit ups ;D

Not kidding either.

I worked from 8am to around 2:30. My longest Saturday since working at the gym. Most people don’t like working out on the weekends which is weird. Not weird I guess, just different from my last experience at a gym. I don’t mind though. Usually it means I get the whole weekend off. I pretty much worked straight through, client after client. But scheduled around a 9am spin class. It was nice. I left about 10 minutes early to make sure I had enough time to change and to eat my post work out meal.

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Tuna, sweet potatoes and a banana. Yum (or not).

I had 2 cancellations at the end which were a bummer. Mostly because it wasted an hour of which I could have saved a little more energy to get a work out in. Instead I waited around. Spent a little more time with a previous client, then left shortly after. Being in the gym for as long as I am, I am getting use to (and loving) at home work outs. Again, mostly burpees, planks, push ups, tricep dips, other core work, body weight squats, and kettle bell (db swings). I have a few weights but nothing to extreme, so I am playing around with different rep schemes and tempos. I need to invest in more resistance bands and KB’s. I think this will also help me help clients when they are too busy to get in the gym. I had a client today say that he gets off track when he doesn’t work out. So knowing that, I HAVE A SOLUTION! NO MORE EXCUSES!!

So not much going on tonight. Since I didn’t get a work out in at the gym (besides the 50 minutes of spin class, aka cardio) and I have already taken 2 rest days this week, I got a little proactive. I went to the park and did some pull ups and rows then came home and did “lawnmowers” for a couple of sets. I want to get a picture, or at least a video, because my back is coming in real well. Even JP said something. I mentioned how I was 150lbs and he was like no way?! So I marched my happy ass over to the scale and 151 with my clothes and shoes on (also about 3 meals in and a ton of liquids. If you plan on weighing yourself I suggest doing it in the morning right when you wake up. Okay, after you go to the bathroom that is). I don’t mind being 150. Like you may know, I have suffered from many eating disorders. The scale was the enemy and would ruin my day if I was not under such and such pounds. Not anymore. I never weigh myself. Instead, I go by how I look and feel. The scale is meaningless to me. Anyways, so after I was done weighing myself, Jp commented on my back and how it looks great. Always a nice feeling to hear a compliment here and there 😉

So that is my Friday night. Just enjoying my bed and making sure I stick to my word and blog since I knew I wouldn’t yesterday.

We left for the track around 6:30pm. I finished with my client a little early and got home, changed and packed my lunch box. LOL. Ohhhh why you ask? Remember? 4 week no cheat for this little lady! I wonder if I can do it. Actually, I will do. Just to say that I can. Now.. This means no cheat meal. However, I stole a handful of popcorn yesterday and although no clean, I still don’t consider it a cheat. It’s little things like that, that will keep you sane. I promise you. You want something, have it. Because it will be a downward spiral if you don’t. Even today, my last client and I were talking. He gained 25lbs since really staying consistent with me. I weighed and did his body fat and surprisely only about 50% was from fat, the other muscle. Which made him feel a little better. But we got to talking about how he would actually binge. Not many guys would admit that, but at least I could help him through it.

Anywhooooo..

Oh, just sitting in the car eating.

Oh, just sitting in the car eating.

Since I am not having a cheat meal till my birthday, I knew that the track would be a little tease. I usually get a burger but.. not this time 😦 The boy actually wanted a funnel cake but I made him get a beer instead so I wasn’t tempted. LOL! He wasn’t happy with me. But.. it is what it is. I ended up packing 2 quest bars, carrots blueberries and strawberries. I should have packed a little more or at least ate more because I was STARVING. We had a good time. His friend ended up getting a spot in the hat races and made it all the way till the final round! So, we ended up there quite late. I didn’t mind… For once. We had a good time. I did get upset for a minute or two because I was in the car with another one of his friends girlfriends chilling in the A/C (LOL)  and a situation got brought up that I had dealt with the day before. I am trying this whole “trust” thing and all of a sudden this gets brought up again. I was instantly not happy. I almost don’t even want to go into detail because i don’t want to give them the satisfication of knowing it pisses me off. I handled the situation pretty well, I’d say. Usually I’d freak and blow up at them but figured that’s exactly what they wanted. So.. I am choosing to be the bigger person and to be honest, it feels good.

It was beautiful out. That, or a sick filter!

It was beautiful out. That, or a sick filter!

MMMM Camaro.

MMMM Camaro.

The last race was our boy and this corvette that seemed to be smoking the competition. They ended up talking before the final race and the guy wanted land. WHICH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BUT I KNEW WAS BULLSHIT. Our guy ended up losing but it was a close race. Honestly, a good time. We left around 11:30/12 and headed to Buffalo WIld Wings to grab some food because I was starving. I ended up getting a salad, but not before I ordered celery and carrots with our drinks (seriously, I was starving). The salad was pretty good. I was debating between a wrap and this, but decided I could do without the carbs (and the wrap doesn’t have much chicken). So I figured if I was going to consume the extra calories of the ranch dressing (on the side), I would rather skip the extra carbs and go with more protein. After we were done, we went home and passed out around 1:30/2am. About 4 hours before I had to be up. Maybe that’s why I am always tired. Ugh. But.. got up no problem and started my day.

BUFFALO WILD WINGS FTW!

BUFFALO WILD WINGS FTW!

Food for the day (Spaced throughout the day. Just didn’t track the time):
Quest bar on the way to work.
Tuna, some sweet potatoes, and a banana post spin class.
1/2 c WW pasta, 99% lean ground turkey and some organic pasta sauce 2 hours later.
Blueberries and carrots not too long after that.
Another serving of the pasta mentioned above.
1/2 (or a little more. Now that I get the big container of yogurt [cheaper], I have to measure it all out and that’s just a pain when you can get the convenience of the cups) with strawberries and blueberries.
1 Kind bar (dark chocolate, nuts and sea salt. MY FAVE).
1/4c sweet potatoes.
25 Almonds.
Oh, and some Gatorade during spin.

Now.. not too sure what I want to eat next. I haven’t had eggs in a while. Maybe I will eat that with some cottage cheese. Maybe this is why I am not losing weight lol. I am not really paying attention to my calorie intake and barely doing cardio (AND EATING TOO MANY ALMONDS!!!!!). I think this week has been the most cardio I have done. I know I did a 30 minute, a 15, and a 45 min session. Maybe do some more tomorrow but don’t want to do too much. I am still pretty far out from the show I am training for (yes, I said training for not necessarily doing lol). So I will take my time and enjoy the time I don’t have to do cardio because I have a feeling a lot more cardio is in my future :/

But.. you do what you gotta do to look good right? No real progress pictures today. Maybe I will tomorrow. I do still have a flat stomach (abs when flexing) this late at night which is a good sign. So we will see. Going to cook some food for my last meal and finish cleaning my room. Ohhhhh the exciting life I live.

;D

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Inner peace and happiness is the true balance in life.

Well would you look at that? Second blog post in a row.. Actually I should delete that before I jinx myself again. HOWEVER!!!! Tomorrow I work from 3-6:30pm but going in around 12 to get a leg work out in. After that, I am going with the boy to the track till probably around midnight so no blog post tomorrow. I will update on Saturday though.

Today was short of a train wreck. The boy came over last night late so I pretty much said hello and passed out. Well, that is before I gave him my last strawberry shortcake skinny cow while I ate a handful of blueberries. I am telling you… I am going to STAY STRONG during these four weeks of no cheats. I do however, like today, had a kind bar which is keeping me sane. That, and Quest Bars. If you have never heard of them, I suggest you do yourself a favor and google that shit. They are by FAR amazing. I actually had a client today come over to my desk before a session while I was eating one and informed her about them. After our session, I ran up to the treadmills (Yup, doing cardio like a good client!!!), and gave her my last apple pie one. I didn’t mind. For some reason I am straight addicted to their brownie flavored ones. That is, till I try their new raspberry white chocolate one ;P

Anyways, side tracked like a mother.. So I woke up around 10am and went downstairs to eat something. I knew I was going to go back to bed for a bit and wanted to get something in me before I went hours with an empty stomach. I ate about 1/2c greek yogurt with more blueberries and made a piece of toast with PB on it for the boy and I. After a little while shit got nuts. I got crazy insecure and shit just escalated. I am just sick and tired of feeling how I feel lately. Things aren’t going well. Work is long and strenuous and I don’t get paid like I should. I am literally living paycheck to paycheck with no social life because I can’t afford it. Now I don’t mind per say because it usually affects training (going out for drinks or a movie.. I mean who can say no to a couple handfuls of butter with a side of popcorn?).. but the fact that I don’t even have a choice, is overwhelming. Outside of that, all I worry about is him and what he’s doing and who he’s talking too. Now I am one insecure bia and have always been but this.. this is just crazy. I WANT IT TO STOP! I want to stop feeling like this. I want to stop thinking the thoughts I think. All of it. I want to pretend nothing ever happened in our relationship for me to feel like this. No, I am not putting all the blame on him, but it has definitely altered the way I view our relationship now. Time and time again I say how I want to change and how I will and yadda ya but every week its the same shit. I have contemplated talking to someone but I don’t have the time. I am literally on call for my clients and don’t feel its the right thing to do at the very moment. I have seen someone before and have taken psych classes… so I know the road they are going to take. I just need to step back and take a look at the bigger picture. Yes, I can go back and claim daddy issues for this shit but it’s not about that. Yes, I have a fear of being abandoned (more so dumped and cheated on) but because it’s how the story has always ended up to be. Not even that, he has put doubt in my head and although its been a year, time doesn’t always heal as fast as you would like it too. And trust me, I WANT IT TOO! But I will not allow my “home” issues to affect anymore of my life than it already has. I am just lucky that I have not chosen food to cope with my issues. That is a HUGE step for me. Although I have lacked in work outs (second day this week without a full work out), I’d rather lack in work outs and rest than fill my body with mass quantities of bullshit for an instant satisfaction that will only bring days of complete and utter disappointed. I am just going to pray. That’s it. Oh, and lift!

Well, after a few spurts of tears later, he left and I got ready for work. I made up a few meals and ate 4 slices of turkey bacon before I headed out (looked at the ingredients.. Um no thanks).

3:15pm Got to work
3:30pm Trained K. He had a kick ass work out ;P
Had 1/2 Kind bar and 1/2 Quest bar
4:00pm Trained H (had a good convo with her in between her rests to catch her breath)
4:30-5:30pm Had a break because one of my clients cancelled.
5:30pm HM asked me if I wanted to train arms with C and him and I agreed but only had 30 minutes till my next apt.
Ate 1/2c brown rice with 99% FF ground turkey. Cold. Awesome. Not.
6:00-9pm More clients.
In between those clients I ate some more chicken. Also had some almonds and the rest of the kind and quest bar.

On my way home around 9:45pm I ate another 1/2c greek yogurt with.. you guessed it, blueberries. I stopped at jewel for a few items. I mean it was late, but chicken was on sale for $1.99 a pound. LOL

It is currently 11:42pm and I will have, most likely, more greek yogurt and……STRAWBERRIES??? haha.. maybe blueberries. I don’t care about eating fruit at night. I would rather that than a fantastic tasting chocolate bar. From now until 2-3 months, you will see fruit in my diet just about every meal of the day. Yes, it’s sugar but I stay active and until I need to cut, bring it on!

Okay okay.. so as the pictures were uploading I went downstairs and got some. Darn these blueberries!

Okay okay.. so as the pictures were uploading I went downstairs and got some. Darn these blueberries!

Here, I have chicken, ground turkey (UGH! 99% FF is $2 more than 80/20 fml), greek yogurt, bananas, strawberries, blueberries (LOL) and carrots. I bought the carrots for the track tomorrow because all I will be doing is smelling burnt rubber and funnel stix (FML). SERIOUSLY HEAD STRONG! I can do this!!!!!

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I would be by the PB aisle..

So after my little 20 minute arm work out, that was the most I did working out today. I was not feeling up to it. Besides, my whole body is sore. Although I do miss it, I did a little arm work out at home and took this progress picture of my shoulders again. I am so excited for the changes that are going to come.

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Other than that, that sums up my day. Nothing TOO crazy might I add. Tomorrow should be exciting though. I am looking forward to this new positive attitude that I am trying out. I mean.. I am staying positive that I’ll be able to stay positive. Hmmm..

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I can’t stay on top of this blog if my life depended on it..

It’s 10:06pm and I am tired as hell. I have 4 clients tomorrow starting at 6am, so that doesn’t make me a very happy girl. I love sleep and waking up at 4-5am does NOT get any easier with time… BUT I figured since I wrote last post how I have been on point with writing blogs, that the longer I go without writing the next one makes me look like an idiot. Guess I jinxed myself there lol. It’s really because once again, I have been super overwhelmed. I feel like I can never get ahead and oh would you look at that? I have yet to do anything about anything I am currently struggling with. I just don’t understand. It is like when I use to binge.. you like that? USE to.. Haven’t in forever and do NOT plan on going back to that life (then again, I have yet to compete again so who knows. However, wishful thinking). I KNOW binging would make matters worse, yet I would continue to do it. It;s like the same concept. I bitch about things in my life yet do nothing but bitch. I don’t know. All I do know is I need to get my head out of my ass.

I don’t know where I left off but I do know that I didn’t talk about my weekend which was actually super amazing. Saturday I met the wonderful Vevian (fitalicious_me) from instagram in chicago. I had my boyfriend drop me off and we went to a bar called Old Town Pour House I believe. It was definitely not the sit down and get to know someone type because I could barely hear her but long story short this chick is AMAZING! She started off in the instagram world as anyone normally would but things have skyrocketed for her and I could not be any happier. She flys to people’s houses and helps them create meals that are short of ingredients (the less the better!) and cost wise, next to nothing! She is just beautiful inside and out and has opened my eyes to becoming something better. In the short time that I have known her she has opened my eyes to dreaming big but being proactive about making them come true. She is a true inspiration and I wish her nothing but the best. After a few diet cokes and a girl throwing up on me later, we went to another bar across the street. This one was called benchmark and was even louder than the last. We stayed for a little while and after my boyfriend came we left not long after that.

On our way!

On our way!

The boy and I ended up grabbing food at Maxwell Street in Chicago. Before I go into what I ate this weekend, let me disclaimer the fuck out of it and tell you this was my last weekend to have whatever I wanted. I decided I am going to go without a cheat meal for 4 weeks (just in time for my birthday 😉 Just to see how I look and how I come in. Just a little something I am doing for myself. That being said, I got a double hamburger, a hotdog (which was ok lol) and a side of fries. Their fries are amazing and I could eat them all day. Afterwards, we headed home. The next morning I got his ass up after numerous times (he is NOT a morning person), because I wanted to go to the taste of chicago. Around 12:30 we were out the door. In the car ride there we had planned to visit a friend that owns Dragonfly (a FANTASTIC sushi place) after we strolled the fest. However, we decided to get sushi before the taste (mostly because all I wanted at the taste was ice cream lol) so that’s what we ended up doing. Chi met us there and sat us down. After the waitress arrived to take our drink order he had 4 drinks placed. A peach sangria (amazing), a regular sangria, a mojito and a jack and coke for the man. I literally had a buffet of drinks in front of me.

My favorite was the one on the right. The peach sangria!

My favorite was the one on the right. The peach sangria!

Now I am NOT a drinker. I may have once before but I think its pointless to drink all those calories especially when you can have a delicious cupcake for the same amount. Yes. This is how I think. THAT and because even after these drinks plus another 2 mocasto’s I was sober. It has happened to me a lot before. I will drink 6 shots in 30 minutes, or shotgun this, drink that and STONE COLD S O B E R. Now.. it’s not like I want to get shitface wasted, but not even tispy for all those calories? Yeah, no thank you. Anyways after that, we ordered our food. We got about 4 rolls (imo gimo? is my fave) and a side of BBQ pork fried rice. Yes, we are fat kids inside. Well.. after we ate, and said our goodbyes we sat in the car for about 15 minutes in a straight food coma. Another long story short, we never did make it to that taste….. lol. We headed home and laid around till the food settled. Around 9:30pm we got up and went to Oberweis played a few games of checkers (I won :P) then got a movie (The Call- SUPER GOOD!).. and relaxed for the rest of the night.

Look @ all those drinks! and there was only 2 people sitting there.. haha

Look @ all those drinks! and there was only 2 people sitting there.. haha

SUSHI!

SUSHI!

Considering today is Wednesday night, I will cut all the crap out from the last few days and let you know that I have stayed true to my No Cheat till my birthday promise. I didn’t work out at the gym Monday (I was too exhausted) but I did do a work out at home. Tuesday and Wednesday though, I busted my ass. Tuesday was a leg day (feeling the effects of it as I type this) and today was a shoulder day. Two of my fave. Actually.. Chest day and Back have also become my favorite. Mostly because I have been benching lately and want to see myself bench 135lb. Back, because I have been slowly but surely doing body weight pull-ups and have a goal of at least 20 by either the end of summer, or by my competition (sometime in oct or nov lol. Idk the exact date, all I know is that its about 18 weeks out). So instead of having a weight loss or body fat goal, I want to get stronger* (again, will explain these asterisks at a later time). I can currently squat 135/145 (my body weight), box squat probably 185lb, bench 95lb and only do 3 spull-up (that IS after I do work outs though so I am not quite sure if I can do more when I am at my strongest).. I don’t know. I really want to do a powerlifting competition or a CrossFit one.. something other than getting judged on how my body looks in a bikini. I want more.

My diet has been somewhat challenging. Going through a rough time so I feel like all I do is spend my money on gas, bills and food. I have a diet plan written up but I don’t know if I could afford eating that much. I am trying though.

Today’s Diet looked as follows:
4:30am Quest Bar
7am Banana
9am 1/2 roll up (tons of fiber and protein) w/ 1/2c tuna
1130pm A spinach smoothie with 1/2 lemon and strawberries with 1/2c greek yogurt (this messed my stomach up. I have acid reflux and I need to stop drinking these delicious smoothies)
12pm Shoulder Work Out and 1 scoop of a 2:1 carb to protein shake (Idk if this is a good idea yet)
2:30pm 15 minutes of a fat burning cardio session
2:45pm 1/2c whole wheat pasta, 1/2c ground turkey and 1/2c organic pasta sauce
5pm A pita bread with 2 TBS natural PB (probably more but I had to finish and scrape every last ounce out of it before I threw away that $6 jar of greatness)
8pm 3 small chicken breasts, 1/2c cottage cheese and some broccoli
1045pm Now that I think about what time it is I might go grab some brown rice with ground turkey because reading what I wrote I did not meet any of my needs. EAT TO GROW PEOPLE and I’ll be damnedddddd if I don;t at least try.

Oh and insert 25 almonds and another tablespoon of PB. I REALLY need to lay off the peanut butter for a while..

That was pretty much it. I burned probably around 600 calories during my workout. Here are a few progress pictures:

This was post all that crappy food. I figured it was best to take the first progress picture all water weighted down :)

This was post all that crappy food. I figured it was best to take the first progress picture all water weighted down 🙂

7/17/13

7/17/13

Ahhh.. 6 hours to sleep. Sleep also helps muscles so I better go ;P More later, I promise :*

P.S now it is WAY to late to edit this so I apologize in advance if everything blows donkey peepee.

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