Tag Archives: Maristheshit

Grasping for air.

A lot has happened in the last week and it’s finally coming to an end.

Atleast that’s what I’m telling myself. Because I can’t stay in this hole any longer..

It’s not healthy.
Nor am I happy.

I’m far from happy.
Like, far far.

I sit here.. A week into a binge and purge roller coaster. An ENTIRE week.

I was fine, doing so well.. Food was on point. I was doing what I could workout wise. My head was clear.

Then I get injured.
Shattered knuckle.

That’s it. Nothing crazy..Nothing life altering.

Or, well.. So I thought.

Made the best of it, even 4 weeks post operation.. Then last week, I felt like my life was just swept with a deep dark sense of sadness…

Then the demons arrived.

I started seeing a therapist maybe two months or so ago just for straight life guidance (I think a lot) and I remember specifically one of the first things he asked was if fitness wasn’t a part of my life anymore, though it didn’t take long for me to reply it felt like a no brainer.. It won’t. I will ALWAYS be involved and super interested in the fitness industry.

End of story.

Wrong..
More like just beginning.

Fast Forward two weeks, I shatter my knuckle. FF another two weeks, I had the surgery. A surgery in which was suppose to be 15 minutes, turned into 2 and 1/2 hours.

After that, even just the day after, when I returned in pain and the dr said they had wrapped the splint too right.. I still had high hopes. But soon it turned from an it what it is situation, to wtf did I just get myself into??!!

Bad vibes from doctors, painful experiences.. Take for example the picture was taken this past Wednesday. The Dr (who I’ve been seeing and haven’t been to fond of) had someone shadow him then leave the room to have him stitch me. I get that may be a requirement to know what to do, but this guy .. Let’s just say had some trouble. Like, walking out, grabbing an assistant kind of trouble. It was a bad time..

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The week of the last pin removal, really hit me hard. Everything just flooded my head with negativity. I had just interviewed for a really good job, but called back and asked for my application to be put on hold, knowing with surgeries PT and basically not being at able to perform at my best, wasn’t good qualities of a new hire..

I got into a car accident. Backed up into a guy who said he saw me but thought he could move around me..

The thought of my hand never being the same again constantly triggered mood swings..

Feeling helpless, ALL THE TIME.

Self destructing, falling back into old habits.

It was one thing after another and I couldn’t control it. I had given up that power.

2 months ago I was doing push ups in my room for fun, timing handstands and planks.. Now I could barely dress myself, tie my shoes..

Everything.. just like that.. Taken away.

I know maybe I’m being dramatic.. Maybe I’m just feeling sorry for myself. Maybe.. But what I do know, is I’m a girl whose been so insecure from the moment I could remember and has dealt with body image issues for just as long… Understand and grasp the harsh reality that my happiness seems to be directly related to my body issue..

And this surgery.. An obstacle if you will, made me realize just how caught up I am in all of this..

..how I’ve been LETTING the fight consume me.

This time, I’m fighting back!

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“Don’t let the fight consume you.”

I read this at the exact moment that I was meant to read it.

Post in progress.

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Life as I know it (for the time being)!

WOW.. it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride these last few weeks. Up and down an all around…

Lets first start off by saying how hard this is to type, considering I fractured the BLEEP out of my left hand. I just finished up with the doctor just a few short hours ago, where we decided to go ahead with surgery. I’m not saying
I’m thrilled, but happy that things should be back to normal in a few weeks. That being said, I have had two legit work outs in the last 3 weeks. Lets just say, I have been rather depressed. Seems like it’s a domino effect lately. More so, because I am constantly reminded of my lack of being able to do.. well just about anything. For the first week, I couldn’t even put my hair up, or tie my own shoes. Boy, did it make me feel guilty. Just always taking things for granted.. really made me appreciate the things in my life more. Maybe that’s why it happened… who knows..

Regardless, I am still facing challenges each and every day, and not being able to work out has made me feel .. like I lost part of myself. All I have ever known, has been working out and personal training.. and something this small has taken that from me (for the time being). I was deadlifting 255 for REPS and really pushing forward with my prep for competition. I mean.. this happened the day before I was supposed to compete in a DL comp, where the girl who won (and there was ONLY 1 GIRL in the comp) only lifted 235lbs.. let me tell you… that did not sit with me well.

Although my lifting has taken a back seat for a bit (I still lift legs as much as possible, and as much as I can), I promised myself that my “diet” will be the thing that holds me together. I was scared at first.. I was eating cookies practically every day and still  maintaining.. I was barely doing any cardio.. and then BAM! Active lifestyle cut short. I had to do something or I was going to self destruct.

So far so good.

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To be honest, my body is taking the lack of heavy lifting extremely well. I couldn’t believe it.. I woke up and had abs sitting up! Nothing I am doing is crazy extreme.. all I am doing is watching what I eat.. aaaaaaaand passing up the cookies (just for now). I am not counting calories, my macros.. nothing.. I probably should be but until I feel its necessary, I would rather just eat. I do prep my meals still, but again, no measuring of anything. I do take spin classes every other day (heavy resistance), to get SOME activity in my life. Like I said, I would be lost without it… I mean.. it really is my life. Even if I can’t train myself, I train people for a living and now, I can’t even spot someone correctly…  😦 But.. that’s not what this is about.

It’s about appreciating life. Really.. just in general. I mean, I broke a finger and I felt hopeless at times.. I felt like I lost myself.. I felt dependent on people for the dumbest things. Shout out to Justine for tying my shoes countless times..

smh..

But it made me appreciate the fact that I still have every other working limb. That in 4 weeks, I will be healed. Where as others won’t. Where mine seems so minor compared to others. I could only imagine the pain the suffering others with major health issues face. I pray for them, and I will continue to pray for them. When something is taken from you it affects you emotionally, and some times those emotions get the best of you.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I appreciate every single client, gym goer, and just random strangers, that try to boost my moral each and every day. It has been so heart warming to know that even if people are just being nosy, they took the time to ask how I was doing. It really has made me so much more appreciative of the life I live.

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Oh boy.

Second Iphone stolen within 3 months. No insurance, like an idiot. Why? because with the insurance, my bill would exceed $150 a month.. Thought I wouldn’t have to deal with another jackass… I thought wrong.

It’s been almost a week without one. Not that it matters TOO much without having a phone.. but boy do I take it for granted. I can no longer nap because my dumbass has no alarm to wake me up. My clients cancel and I have no way of knowing. It’s the basic shit that I miss.. Not Facebook, Instagram or even Snapchat… I just want to be able to take a nap!

So, no photos of our Ice fishing trip to Wisconsin during Valentines day, no progress pictures, no duckface selfies… no nothing. Lost it all, again.

Smh.

On top of that, I am getting recertified as a personal trainer via NASM. They give you 180 days to complete and pass the test. My boss told me I needed it in 60 days. A week or two ago, it was no longer 60 days, but rather 27. If that doesn’t put stress on someone, I don’t know what will. It’s terrifying really. Not because I lack confidence which we all know.. but because I suck at taking tests and I really needed that time. I paid $800 for it and IF I don’t pass, it’s another $200 to try again. No, not being pessimistic, just laying it out there..

So.. I’m sure you can tell I am stressed out like a MF! Everything is taking a toll on me. My boss comes up to me and starts hounding me about the test and how I need it within the next week and a half.. I blew up at him. I have been such a basket case, that I feel like I can no longer control my emotions. I felt horrible. I still do. I apologize and got him a GC shortly after because I was so embarrassed about my actions…

Needless to say, Friday is my first therapist appointment. I need to talk to someone.. I need to get everything out and have someone say, ‘youre not crazy”.. I need someone to give me something to work with because I am slowly self destructing.

Work outs have been good, and I have been staying on track. Although with everything going on, I am having a hard time eating. I have to literally force myself to eat. Any other time before this, I would have loved not having an appetite.. Yeah.. that was the anorexic me.. the fit me shoves food down my throat so I don’t lose the precious muscle I have been slaving for..

Shits rough right now, but I’ll get through it by the grace of God.

 

 

 

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We get it.. Take away food, you’ll lose weight.

Why low carb diets “work”- yes.. using the word (work) extremely loosely..

Weight loss or gain is primarily related to total caloric intake, not the macronutrient profile of the diet. The weight lost on a low carbohydrate diet can be attributed to two factors: low caloric intake and loss of fat-free mass. If an individual begins dropping carbohydrate rich foods from his or her diet, it is inevitable that caloric intake will drop as a result. Added to the caloric reduction, are dwindling glycogen stores. For every gram of glucose taken out of glycogen, it brings with it 2.7g of water. This loss of muscle glycogen (including water) can be quite significant in the first week of a low carb diet, and adds to the pounds lost on the scale. This is how low carbohydrate fad diets can promise dramatic weight loss in such a short period. Long term success in weight loss is associated with realistic eating style, not one that severely limits or omits one of the macronutrients.

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Rants and Raves.

I constantly see feed on my Facebook of girls who are physically ripped to pieces, then verbally ripped to pieces. Just because you don’t personally like someones physique, doesn’t mean you should suddenly start speaking your mind. Regardless if its physically appealing, how is the dedication the commitment the complete and utter consistency and persistence to keep pushing hard each and every single day, not?

3 different body types. All have been critised one way or another..

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This lifestyle isn’t easy. We have our good days and probably double the bad ones.
But what makes us stand out the most, is that we don’t give up, ESPECIALLY during the grueling days that present themselves. We push harder those days. We wake up tired and hungry but with each day that passes we are one step closer to achieving dreams we have made for ourselves.

How many of you can say you do that on a daily basis? Consistently push 100% for something that you hope one day all comes together? I must admit.. just writing these words right here right now makes me feel like just because I don’t feel accomplished in this world yet, that I will one day become unstoppable. I know who I am, but I also know who I want to be. I come off as mean and intimidating to those who don’t know me. I think they call that a “bitch” nowadays? The thing is though, is I can be. I’ll admit it. I have been so hurt in the last 24 years that its true, I can be ruthless at times. I don’t take shit life is way too short for that, but just because I have a tough exterior doesn’t mean I am not this soft loving person inside. I want to break this habit that everyone has to be mean to people they don’t know. As the days tick on, I realize how much hate is indeed infesting this world and how little love is spread. This world needs people sticking together, to work together. Whatever anyone amounts to be in this world, we will never leave it. The ground is where we all will lay to rest one day, a ground that lie just about every enemy we think we’ve had.Sorry, I can get carried away. Point is, if we arent bettering ourselves each and every day, we have no room to speak about others. Yes, opinions are like assholes, every one has one.. Well aware, but why try to belittle someones accomplishments? We know it clearly has nothing to do with them, but something you may be lacking in your own life. Anyways I am no ones therapist, so lets keep it simple. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Silence is a source of great strength.

Remember that.

So with each day forward I want to become something better. I don’t want to be that person that everyone thinks I am. I will always have those certain walls up but doesn’t mean I don’t have a door and I can’t come out and play. Little do you know, I want to spread my knowledge and help those who are looking for it. I want to help you change your life.  I want to help you feel the power behind having a passion, achieving an accomplishment.

I will one day leave my mark in this world. I think although still very naive and opinionated, that I am strong, willed enough to push through these obstacles I set for myself. Conquer your mind and you can conquer the world.

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Project Clean Up!

I finally decided to sit down and write. I don’t know what I am going to write, but I have a crap ton of photos, that will help in describing my life in the last couple of weeks.

Things have been hectic to say the least.. Studying for NASM, going through transitions at work and at home, and just trying to stay on the road I think is best. Its been hard, and I am not afraid or ashamed to say, that even though hesitant at first, I think its best if I talk to someone professionally. I have too many outside biased opinions that I feel cloud my mind at times. I want to sit down and explain myself and figure out if I really am crazy.. Okay a little dramatic, but I do feel it sometimes.

The one thing that is getting me by, is the group of friends I’ve previously mentioned. Having such a tight-knit group is something I can’t explain. I guess I have never experienced this kind of true friendship. Its awesome.. that’s just put it that way.. Not to forget that I have learned SO much.. more than I have in the last 4 years trying to get by on my own. 6 months with these people and I feel like a new and improved person. They make me feel good.. at all times.. I think that’s so important during the stressful times of contest prep, or just simply living the life of someone who works at a gym.. someone who takes it seriously (yes I have to put a disclaimer.. I see your sales guys eating McDonald’s over there)… such a shame.

Any who.. enough lovey dovey shit.. I have been eating like crap for the last week. Burgers.. upon burgers.. ice cream, frozen yogurt, McDonald’s.. You name it, I probably had it. This is a great way to start loading pictures, dont cha think ;P

@SMOKE bbq

@SMOKE bbq

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night... haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night… haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured...

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured…

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and prok fried rice. We. get. down.

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and pork fried rice. We. get. down.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

I suppose I should of started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change... BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure ;)

I suppose I should have started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change… BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure 😉

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips... sweet cream icecream... mmmmmmmm

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips… sweet cream icecream… mmmmmmmm

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this... icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this… icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger....... Cajun fries..... I was in heaven.

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger……. Cajun fries….. I was in heaven.

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

Beginning of the year 2014'

Beginning of the year 2014′

So, as you may know I am an avid believer in eating clean. However, I don’t know exactly what went on here. I didn’t calorie count or track anything (besides the pictures), but you can tell I wasn’t shy about those calories consumed. I enjoyed every last bite of every meal I ate in the last week. That I get, but what confuses me is that I didn’t change my work out regimen  to adapt to the significantly higher calories in my diet, but I still maintained if not IMPROVED my physique. Yes I am not stage lean-to ANY extent, but I feel like I have actually never looked better. Maybe they really were magic cookies…

Haha inside joke.. I have started a cookie binge and it’s catching on like a virus! I swear they’re not magic! This is not a trend, do NOT follow! haha… I think my body was just going crazy and even it didn’t know what to do with itself..BUT today, I have started from scratch. Chicken and veggies for meeeeeeeee. Lets see what happens.. I mean,, if crap food and no added exercise made me look like this.. I can only imagined if I cleaned things up!

Back to some good read though. I deadlifted 225 no problem. No straps.. just chalk. About 4 months ago, I attempted this. I stood by the bar and couldn’t budge it. I strapped up, had a spot and maybe hit 3 reps. Just the other day, after about 6 reps of continuously adding weight, we threw on 225 just for shits and giggles. Chalked up and repped it out. Literally. It was nuts. So nuts, that I feel that I may have been spotted the whole time. She says all she did was bring my shoulders back but maybe that’s what it took to get it up?? So.. after were all recovered, I want to try it again.. no spot.. no bullshit. Until then… I spotted 225 😉

….and the best part of my last couple of weeks?

Just so happened to happen about 2 days ago. I was training a client that I have had ever since i made the switch to Waukegan. He was coming in 2 times a week in the morning with another trainer. That trainer changed his schedule and could no longer train him. I met with him, at which point he couldnt go up or down the stairs without holding on due to a bad motorcycle accident. As far as I was told, when he first started with the gym he was had a cane (previously in wheelchair for weeks). Weight loss had always been a goal, but we really needed to focus on reworking the muscles for basic human movements. starting from scratch, we needed to work on our foundation. Slowly but surely all the progress was really made on the scale. Eventually a couple of months in, he was super happy about going up and down the stairs no problem. He literally hustled! It was awesome. Another time he came in and asked to give me a hug. Later explained hunting was no longer painful, No longer took an ATV out, instead walks to where he sets up shop. But what was major BADASS (and I am so sorry I don’t have a video. You can check out Phitness Aesthetics on Facebook or my Instagram, Maristheshit), was when we took me to our little room and said he needed to show me something. I already knew I wanted to video tape it so you hear him saying I’m going to make fun of him! He first walks up and down on both legs over a few step ups. I’m super happy already but again you hear him say, but that isn’t even the best part. YOU SEE THE EXCITEMENT ON HIS FACE, as he attempts to BOX JUMP IT!!! AND HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A couple of times too!!!!!! It was so amazing. I showed it to my co worker who previously trained him and he said he had tears in his eyes, if not everyone who saw it. People were amazed and they didn’t even know it. Ugh! You have to see the video now.. I’ll try to upload it..

Shit it really wont let me.

Meet Doug. He was one of my first clients when I made the move to Waukegan (6months ago). He could barely walk up the stairs without holding on to something (due to a bad motorcycle accident), so you could tell how much of an improvement since then by his excitement in the first part of the video. Little did I know, that wasn't even the half of it. He BOX JUMPED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! I was speechless. When it comes to #fitness, people assume it's all about #weightloss. Now, if done properly (and with a well balanced #nutrition), weight loss should occur… But sometimes our focus should be more on learning (or relearning) basic human movements and correcting any imbalances that may have occurred (during injury or constant bad form ext). A huge thanks to @phitness_aesthetics and the wide range of knowledge this team possesses.

A post shared by Marissa 💋 (@maristheshit) on

See if that will work.. If Not.. just google maristheshit or find me on instagram. Any who.. I’m just going to leave on that note.. It was just too awesome not too!

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Playing catch up!

It seems that when I get overwhelmed, my blogging takes a hiatus. I think that’s because at times, blogging overwhelms me. I never proofread because I will end up highlight select all delete that shit.

So.. please excuse my lack of consistency and spelling errors.

Lets begin shall we. As one would guess, yes I am stressed. Overwhelmed is such a great word though.. fits me perfectly.. or this situation rather. Though I seem to use it quite frequently. Hmm.. Any who.. things have been good things have been bad, the only difference than before is I feel like I am keeping my head above water. That staying afloat, is not as hard as I was making it out to be.

I don’t care what life throws at me anymore.. Ill be scared when things stop and I have nothing to dodge anymore.. I mean… Just because you were given something, or dealt a shitty hand in life, doesn’t mean there’s only one solution.. that you have to continue on to a less successful path. You can make something out of nothing and I no longer want to coast through life. I want to make something happen. I want to start at the bottom through my trials and tribulations and just soar. I want to live. I am in the prime of my time. No rent, no bills (cell, insurance food ext but that’s it), no children, nothing should be stopping me. I have used my sister’s situation in as comparison and just because she’s about to finish school because financially she was helped, doesn’t mean I can’t. Just because NOTHING… I really am sick and tired of it.

I go off on tangents and I just don’t know when to quit.

Like this picture for example. One night I got upset, and instead of writing on the notepad app, I took to instagram. This was pretty recent and I just kept typing.

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Brighter side of things that just so happens to add to the stress, I am taking my NASM certification in 3 months. Stoked to have it on my resume, but nervous about the level of skill it will take to pass this test. I am just hoping with my 4 levels of experience that SOMETHING has caught on.. never mind.. just wish me luck lol..

Outside of constantly being busy with studying the next couple of months, I am training for a show. I don’t even know if I mentioned I was doing one last year (that I ended up NOT doing), but 2014 is going to be my next debut ;P I have a great team working with me and I cannot be happier. Working at this _ _ fitness has really opened my eyes up to the corporate world but even more so to some really incredible people. I am so blessed to finally have a group of people that know whats up. Life isnt about partying and bullshitting around.. Yes I would rather be at home in bed, but I at least want to be working on SOMETHING productive in my life. I don’t want all that bullshit. I want to focus and stay motivated in what I want to achieve in the next couple of months/year. I want to prove to MYSELF, no one else, myself that I can do this. I want to be lean. I want to be strong. I want to pass this NASM test so I feel like I do have some intelligence. I have so much that I want to knock off the list for 2014.

I am, however, making a promise to myself that if I am not where I want to be (or at least attempting it) that I will quit my job and go help people. I don’t care if it’s in chicago feeding the homeless, to moving to Africa to help children read. I think that sounds like a legit goal/promise.. Yeah, im gonna go with that.

So, that being said. I am currently 12 weeks out. I start my diet tomorrow which consists of a little carb cycling. I seem to pick up results pretty quickly with this. I will be taking progress pictures and as long as I get around to it, Ill post them weekly. I wont be doing any cardio for the first couple of weeks. No cardio as in, you wont be seeing my ass on a treadmill.. will you see me jumping around on a bench doing ski jumps or box jumps? You betchya!

Lets leave you with a few pictures. Some are just a few weeks of recap, and the my recent XMAS trip to Wisconsin. Enjoy! And don’t forget to check back in a week for simple fitness tips tricks and recipes. Man.. my blog is getting boring quick.

First snow storm with Marley.

First snow storm with Marley.

Ice skating in Chicago <3

Ice skating in Chicago ❤

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

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SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Yeah… my blogs like that.

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2 week progress and a crap ton of pictures.

Well would you look at that.. the longest I’ve gone without broadcasting my life for the world to see!

LOL. A lot has gone on I don’t even know where to begin.. Or because I forgot just how long I went without posting for… Hmm..

Lets start off with…. SOME BAD ASS PROGRESS, shall we??! 😛

Beginning and up until 11/27-

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2 week difference and a $30 spray tan.

2 week difference and a $30 spray tan.

This is a 2 week difference. All I have been doing is lifting heavy shit and following my meal plan to a T. Barely any cardio unless you count boxing for 45 minutes on saturday. I rarely do any now thinking I am going to lose my ass. Speaking of which!

Le ex (going to be current very soon) boyfriend said that my butt was getting smaller.. that’s like.. THEE worst thing to hear when you start dieting down.. It took me back to when I first competed and stairmastered my ass right off! That’s when I thought giving up my ass for abs was detrimental to my physique.

Wrong.

Anyways.. IT WENT UP .5″ YESSSSIRRREEEE BOB! Johnny said it was just because it’s lifted now.. chhheeyeah! I am actually supposed to take my measurements next week.. but I have been eating super bad lately. Ever since Thanksgiving.. FML. I need to cut it out. Its been the last 3 days. Nothing like HORRIBLE.. but like last night. He came over and we ate shit food at 2am after eating and working out like a boss. But I wanted it. I don’t know.. I don’t want to use the whole I have 3 months bullshit anymore because I’ve done that before and it blew up in my face, but 3 months and apparently I was dropping weight too quickly.

Thanksgiving night and the next morning. Got the boy eating right and working out and we even hit the gym the following day..

Thanksgiving night and the next morning. Got the boy eating right and working out and we even hit the gym the following day..

I don’t know. I’m going to do my body fat again and reassess my life … er mood then. Either way, I am going to stick to my meal plan until further notice and just get shredded. Fuck this fat food.

Hmmm… what else do I have to say..

Just been working and working out. Hopefully making Phitness Aesthetics into something awesome.. working on getting shredded… picking up more clients.. working on a relationship with fellow boyfriend.. Noticing the difference of when I give a shit vs when I don’t.. and I am much happier when I do….

Here are a few pictures because I don’t want to write anymore..

OH! and I saved a dog! Long story short I saw a lot of commotion on a busy highway type street and saw a dog in the median =. I slammed on my breaks and ran to the dog. Some lady was making her way to him so I figured it was hers but it wasn’t. She agreed to take it to the vet so I volunteered to get the dog to the car quarter of a mile up. He wouldn’t budge so I did what any normal gym rat would do and I deadlifted his ass and proceeded on my way.

HA!

Me weighing out almonds before we went shopping on Thanksgiving.

Me weighing out almonds before we went shopping on Thanksgiving.

The cake we made to take for dinner. Coffee Cake from scratch. Funny thing is, we were preparing to get all the ingredients at the store and literally saw a box mix of the same shit. Needless to say... we made it from scratch.. :)

The cake we made to take for dinner. Coffee Cake from scratch. Funny thing is, we were preparing to get all the ingredients at the store and literally saw a box mix of the same shit. Needless to say… we made it from scratch.. 🙂 lol..

-4

It wasn't bad. FULL of sugar but I burnt the bottom and it needed more cinnamon swirl in the middle..

It wasn’t bad. FULL of sugar but I burnt the bottom and it needed more cinnamon swirl in the middle..

Hooters. Need I say more?

Hooters. Need I say more?

Yes I go out in public with my hair like this.

Yes I go out in public with my hair like this.

-17

The boy and I on our way to dinner.

The boy and I on our way to dinner.

 

Just so happens portillos salads have 4oz of chicken. On the dot.

Just so happens portillos salads have 4oz of chicken. On the dot.

 

Yes I used a filter but I was just happy with how my chest and shoulders look. Oh! and a badass shirt that says, "Lift heavy shit"! Thanks to Cylia <3

Yes I used a filter but I was just happy with how my chest and shoulders look. Oh! and a badass shirt that says, “Lift heavy shit”! Thanks to Cylia ❤

Flowers I received at work. BEAUTIFUL!

Flowers I received at work. BEAUTIFUL!

Ugh! Funny story behind this as well....... I cant remember which night... oh wait  nevermind, after hooters we ran our fat asses to coldstone. They were closing in 15 minutes so I always feel bad. But I made it short and sweet. However, I went to grab Mikes smoothie which are a pain to make (I worked at DQ for 4 years) and always make a mess... welll.. I grabbed it to hard and the mositure of the drink it slipped and spilled everywhere... She was happy to make another one (I also tipped her $2 more dollars), but as soon as we left I heard and saw her screaming. Ugh. She should of waited till we got in our car because it looked horrible. I cleaned up most of it. Keep it together.

Ugh! Funny story behind this as well……. I can’t remember which night… oh wait never mind, after Hooters we ran our fat asses to cold stone. They were closing in 15 minutes so I always feel bad. But I made it short and sweet. However, I went to grab Mikes smoothie which are a pain to make (I worked at DQ for 4 years) and always make a mess… welll.. I grabbed it to hard and the moisture of the drink it slipped and spilled everywhere… She was happy to make another one (I also tipped her $2 more dollars), but as soon as we left I heard and saw her screaming. Ugh. She should have waited till we got in our car because it looked horrible. I cleaned up most of it. Keep it together.

The best for last, RIP Paul Walker.

The best for last, RIP Paul Walker.

 

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Meow.

It’s been a while, nothing new apparently..

Justine and I started tracking our macros and its been quite overwhelming… I have been planning each and every meal and its been quite the tedious work over here..  BUT!!!!! I am SUPER excited. If I’ve mentioned the road to ripped before, forget all that mumbojumob… this is where it’s at! I have never felt so prepared and excited over contest prep before… I think it’s because I like how I look (and can PICK HEAVY ASS SHIT UP!) however, “I’m about to tear it up now…” (Rob Bailey you da best) and become the leanest I have ever been. I will not fail myself this time. I will not disappoint, more importantly, I. Will. Not. Give. Up.

Some of my meal prepping..

Some of my meal prepping.. * After posting, I realize most of these meals were on my low carb days. Keep that in mind. I have many carbs later in the week.

My lunch box.. haha.. some gucaomole chicken, eggs.. ew..

My lunch box.. haha.. some gucaomole chicken, eggs.. ew..

Once I switched bacon for my egg and I never looked back.. ;)

Once I switched bacon for my egg and I never looked back.. 😉

This is my meal plan. DO NOT follow unless you are a 147lb 5'6 @22% BF, female looking to get down to 14% body fat.. It wont work! Nor is this anything to play around with.. This macro thing is overwhelming at times. ASK FOR HELP!

This is my meal plan. DO NOT follow unless you are a 147lb 5’6 @22% BF, female looking to get down to 14% body fat.. It wont work! Nor is this anything to play around with.. This macro thing is overwhelming at times. ASK FOR HELP!

It seems that ever since I started training at LA, I have met and become good friends with some really good people (met more weirdos though…). We have become each others support systems when it seems like “outsiders” wouldn’t.. We become not only our own motivation, but each others as well.. and I can’t fathom it any other way..

Relationships have taken their tolls, short days have turned into long ones, work outs have become a get a way and our body seen as a temple. The more we work and work together, the more we are accomplishing each and every day. Though for some, it doesn’t seem that way but that’s all part of trusting the process… that one day.. through committment, consistency and dedication, that one day we too will be masters of our domain. That we will not be stopped. That whatever we may do, come in contact with , or face will be nothing short of a mental victory for us. We are battling each and every day and we will continue to battle each and every day. Some days it’s against the world, others it’s against ourselves, which ever may be the case it won’t matter, because at the end of it all, we will be victorious.

I have really good vibes about 2014. Not only is 14 my favorite number, but I am ready to take my life by the horns and finally do something with it. Instead, I’ve just kinda sat here.. and wished.. sometimes even prayed for something to give.. my life to be easier.. idk fuck… just something! But today, I sit here.. okay like half ass sitting, writing this.. realizing that I need to create my worth! (thanks again FNF ;P ), that sitting here hoping for something is just as relevant as standing in the rain hoping to stay dry.. I mean… you could.. if you had an umbrella.. or something to stand under.. so… I want hard work and persistence (maybe even a little confidence but that is still currently being worked on) to be my “umbrella”! Alright, that may be a weird ass metaphor but the point I am trying to make is that, dreaming about something isn’t good enough, you need to do everything in your power to make that dream come true. Stop wishing, start doing.

Recent progress. I ate a lot of oreos so.... I am happy. lol. This was also the start of prep.

Recent progress. I ate a lot of oreos so…. I am happy. lol. This was also the start of prep.

I do feel kinda tiny in this pic.. BUT I am THEEEE strongest I have ever been!

I do feel kinda tiny in this pic.. BUT I am THEEEE strongest I have ever been!

Weekend update:

What day is today.. ? I have been messing up all my days lately. Saturday.. High carb day.. how could I forget with my meal being in an hour or so… oatmeal with an apple.. mmm and cinnamon.. mm and flaxseed.. because I need the fiber.. lol. So far, this first week was good. The counting weighing and all that mumbo jumbo is a little overwhelming but you get the hang of it.. I mean.. hopefully.. lol.

Random PICTURE INSERTION ALERT! My hair is FLIPPIN red!

Random PICTURE INSERTION ALERT! My hair is FLIPPIN red!

I have yet to take off or have a rest day and I want one. I know I will feel lonely and bored the whole day, but my body aches, and I have put it through some tough shit this week. I was able to rep out 40’s on a shoulder press being my last set. Chest on Friday I nearly died but I benched 115 after 4 or 5 working sets.. MEANING I AM ABLE TO THROW 45’S ON EACH SIDE FOR REPPPPPSSSSS!!!!! That was a goal of mine and I am so stoked..

My goals for 2014 are:
To complete pistol squats (Full ROM- BOTH LEGS!!!!).
20 Pull ups in a row.
10 Wide Grip Pull Ups in a row.
Deadlift over 250+
Inquire about power lifting/ bikini competitions

I think that’s it for now. I mean the list was sporadic so I may go back and edit them in.

So, today. Get to work at 930am after deciding to ditch spin class. After my first client, I trained with Todd for about 45 minutes. Throwing boxing into the mix has been a nice spice to the routine… After that I trained shoulders with Eric and he put me through a CRAZY ass shoulder work out. I was just about to get started working out when he came up and struck up a conversation.. Long story short I asked him what he was training, he said shoulders and I was like HELL YEA! It is always nice to train with someone else. The different switch in the routine is so enticing… He is actually the  guy I replaced here at AL lol.. Hes a cool guy. I originally didn’t find him very pleasing (nor did I know who he was at the time) because I saw him leg press a shit ton.. and I mean a shit ton of 45’s and walk away from the entire thing.. I mean leave like 2 or 3 on each side (you know.. to motivate people LOL)… but come on…… that’s how I figure I hurt my wrist. Unloading so many damn 45’s from yall bodybuildAH’s.

Kidding.. of course.

Anyways after that I had one more client. After stuffing all my needed meals in at their desired times.. Harpreet Rosa and Cylia met up at AL with Justine and I and we all went to Fit Nation and signed up for the 7 day guest pass. This place is nice.. I think I may do a photo dump post so I will save some of the pictures for then.. That and because I am super lazy and uploading pictures on this damn thing is always so damn difficult. Anyways.. I worked out a little, trying out the Jacobs Ladder. Hit a little chest/back.. then headed home to eat meal #3 lol.. I am just excited about carbs.. I mean let me.. tomorrow and the following 5 days all I really get is fat (yes, protein but I’m sick of protein.. all of IIITTT!!!!!! <— and to think its only been a week of this!!! lol).

I’m about to relax and anticipate my cinnamon apple oatmeal I am about to demolish in a second.. Tomorrow might be a late night work out with the crew.. although I want to rest..We may end up opening up the gym tomorrow night and running shit. Gym all to ourselves… music blasting.. mmmmmm

Zombie mentality, work past dead.

The ever so beautiful, Dana L. Bailey!

The ever so beautiful, Dana L. Bailey!

<3

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