Tag Archives: motivation

If it were easy, well.. you know. 

Everyone wants the easy way out, the magic pill, if you will. I can’t compete with an ignorant naive mind. I don’t possess enough patience. It’s a flaw, a weakness rather and something that is currently being worked on. 

The same patience I’m speaking of, is the patience these people.. your clients my clients people of the world, all need. 

The body I have, the strength I own, the knowledge I’ve acquired.. Was never made in a lab nor was it injected. It was never swallowed. Never squeezed and manipulated.. This was hardwork and consistency. This.. this took discipline.

Of course I wanted to wake up after a day of eating good, and like what I saw. Of course I’d rather take a pill then feel the lactic acid (which we can thank hydrogen not lactate for that) burning. Of course I’d rather wear some ridiculous waist trainer instead of walking up to cycle in the wee hours of the morning.

Truth is, this lifestyle isn’t easy and as far as I’ve seen, isn’t for everyone. 

I get that. I get that life isn’t easy which makes being active and healthy harder. I G E T  IT! Maybe me getting it, isn’t the problem. Maybe thinking there’s a problem, is the problem. 

A client and I got into it (not really but definitely some miscommunication) regarding meal plans and such. Apparently I said I would help her with one months and months ago but always fell thru. I wasn’t aware of this, as meal plans are very time consuming (and technically I’m not a dietician yet so, basically all I can give you is “guidelines”).  However, that is my job and hopefully as you all know, I am all about balance. Nutrition being one of the most important factors in all of this, none the less. What got to me is as I am going over the basics to this (I start my clients off small. As in, small goals nothing drastic to see how they adapt to change), she interrupts me and goes off on a tangent about how age this, and carbs that.. And I’m just sitting there like…. quiet.. until she talks about how she won’t give it 100%. How too much is going on that she’s spread too thin. 

Now.. How are you going to complain that I never helped you, make me feel like shit, when really you just didn’t want to be helped? I take this shit to heart and I am slowly realizing I can’t do that. Yes, I am trying to help clients help themselves but if they don’t want the help, it is out of my hands. I am already too hard on myself, I can’t take people’s lack of motivation as my own. I want to see these people succeed! I know how it feels to look in the mirror and not like what you see! I know what it feels like to put on clothes, not be able to fit in them, and hop back in bed and cry. I know tears. Tears fit nice, they just don’t look good. 

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To get better at writing, you have to write.

I’ve been wanting to write an update for awhile now, but with life I came up with just about every reason you could possible imagine as to why I didn’t have time.

School life work (the lack thereof), I mean, I feel like as if lately it’s been one thing after another. Now, y’all know I don’t mind the pressure and at some point, I have enjoyed the chaos, but when things are starting to take a true negative impact on your mood attitude or over all well being, that’s when something needs to be done. I always preach being proactive and not reactive but seldom take my own advice..

Until it’s too late, that is.

I don’t know what caused me to change my password so I could finally open up this app, but I don’t feel very positive or even in the mood to write. I have been super hard on myself when it comes to my writing. I want to write a book, and yet I can’t stay on top of a blog or proofread my writing without the fear of ‘select all delete’ action going on.. but here we are..

I feel like so much goes on in my life that I don’t see why I don’t write about it. Probably because unlike some people, who like to talk about their feelings, I don’t. Who likes to sit down and express emotions and rehash everything that would be much more pleasant being forgotten?
So bare with me while I take a stab at it..

I am one final away from completing my second full time semester here. I took some time off work, not intentional, but seems to have worked in my favor (well, in regards to school that is). I will be leaving the semester with straight A’s baby! So, not training 20+ people a day, has really helped me with staying on top of my school work. Two full time semesters to go and I can finally transfer, phew!

I came to the library after I sat down with one of my professors. I really wish I had recorded the conversation because it was just amazing to hear someone confident in me when even I can’t be. We obviously talked about my lack of confidence, but Rome sure wasn’t built in a day..

I will say that I am whole heartedly trying to be the best person I can be. I put a lot of energy into doing well this semester, being helpful and courteous.. That I truly proud of the woman I am growing up to be. I see the changes and the effort into discipline myself, and I cannot be happier.

Just a few hours ago, I took a test that I had previously failed twice. I tried taking a test of 700 pages in 72 hours. A week later, failed again. How? This was a test regarding information I am going to school for, and yet I was having the hardest time passing it. Well…

TODAY I PASSED!!! I went into confident as ever (though I will say the other two times I was just as confident and to be honest that’s crazy for me to even say with the amount of anxiety I get with taking tests), and passed by over 10%. I walked out of that building with a huge grin and couldn’t help but to continue to congratulate myself throughout the car ride home (This test was TOUGH, to say the least. But I now know what color different muscle fibers are and the degree of all angles of the body, if case any of y’all, or my clients, were interested).

I don’t know if it’s because I was never motivated or praised when I was younger, but I am learning to be my own biggest fan, and she’s a pretty dope chick to have around. 

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She too, grew.

There was a flower in her heart, it just needed more room to bloom. And when she let it free, she showed the world that sometimes the most beautiful things can grow in the darkest of places.

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Killer leg workout: not for the timid.

Leg workout 7/30/14

140lb leg press with Leg Ext warm up 4 sets of 12-15 (DO NOT USE LEG EXT IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR KNEES).
Upped leg press to 190lbs for 2 sets. Kept leg ext weight the same.

Started with Hack squat at 50lbs (1) 25lb each side with a 50lb BB lunge.
Doubled the weight (2) 25’s on each side.
Added (1) 10 to each side.

3 sets total- h.squat was 12 reps (adding weight)
Lunges were 2 sets (14,12 reps) @50lbs. Last set was 30 reps @bw

Leg press. 3 exercises in set. (1) 25 plate on each side.
3 sets of 12-15 reps:

1. Side leg press
2. Single leg press
3. Together (feet high) (yes! 45 rep set)!

Kick backs and sumo squat. K backs= 30lbs (cable). Sumo squat= 45lb DB. Sumo squat could have been heavier, regardless, should have done on boxes to get better ROM.
3 sets of 12 reps k backs, 10 reps s squats.

Smith machine squats (2) 10’s on each side. Super set with box jumps.
3 sets of 12 squats, 10 box jumps.

Exhaustion phase.
7 sets of 12-15 leg ext.

– So I wanted to test this leg workout today. I texted my lifting partner the workout and what I thought was going to be the complete opposite response, I received a “fuck yeah.” It was awesome. I was already dreading it in my head and glad I had someone’s positivity to piggy back off. We work together. Almost balance each other out. Yet when I read that, what I just wrote, realized that’s not entirely true. We work together we’ll yes, however sometimes we are so alike, when one goes down, so does the other. Only thing I can think of while trying to make light of the situation, is that we come back stronger. We pick each other up, in due time. That’s all that matters.

Anywho this ADD chick needs to stay focused…

This work out was pretty exhausting. Since being a trail run, I wanted to push myself but since we didn’t know what to expect, we didn’t go all out beast mode on it. We could have upped the weight on cable kick backs, sumo squat and smith machine squats. As a matter of fact, it sucked but 50lb BB lunge was a tad easy too. Next week (well do a plyo metric workout on Sunday), we’ll complete this routine again, but this time upping the ante a bit.

Everything should be easy to follow. Might want to google the side leg press just to make sure your position is correct. Since you are at an angle, make sure your foot ankle complex is directly inline with the knee. Don’t go to heavy on this one just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. This was a triple set, and it sucked. But, oh so good.

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A letter to my best friend.

I’m writing you this today, because I too needed to hear this.

What we are going through is a small piece to the puzzle. The lessons we are learning one mishap after another, are things we need to embrace.
To understand.

We are constantly looking to the bigger picture trying to find a little bit of hope to hold on to. But in the end, succumbing to the pressures of self doubt.

The struggles make it real.
We fall down. Sometimes on accident, most others what would seem on purpose. But what doesn’t kill us DOES In fact makes us stronger. Why? When was the last time we didn’t get back up?
This time, with a little more pride inside.
A rested body, a clearer mind.
Fire in our eyes..

We have to embrace these trials. We have to keep our head held high even when it seems we are slowly drowning. Yes, We have hit some detours along the way but whose life changing story was ever smooth sailing anyway? We’ll get there when we’re suppose to get there and not a moment sooner.

We are in control. We have the final say. We choose our final destination. Might as well enjoy the journey we are creating <3.

I love you.

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Understanding the process.

You will get there when you are meant to get there and not a moment sooner. So relax, breathe, and be patient.

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Life as I know it (for the time being)!

WOW.. it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride these last few weeks. Up and down an all around…

Lets first start off by saying how hard this is to type, considering I fractured the BLEEP out of my left hand. I just finished up with the doctor just a few short hours ago, where we decided to go ahead with surgery. I’m not saying
I’m thrilled, but happy that things should be back to normal in a few weeks. That being said, I have had two legit work outs in the last 3 weeks. Lets just say, I have been rather depressed. Seems like it’s a domino effect lately. More so, because I am constantly reminded of my lack of being able to do.. well just about anything. For the first week, I couldn’t even put my hair up, or tie my own shoes. Boy, did it make me feel guilty. Just always taking things for granted.. really made me appreciate the things in my life more. Maybe that’s why it happened… who knows..

Regardless, I am still facing challenges each and every day, and not being able to work out has made me feel .. like I lost part of myself. All I have ever known, has been working out and personal training.. and something this small has taken that from me (for the time being). I was deadlifting 255 for REPS and really pushing forward with my prep for competition. I mean.. this happened the day before I was supposed to compete in a DL comp, where the girl who won (and there was ONLY 1 GIRL in the comp) only lifted 235lbs.. let me tell you… that did not sit with me well.

Although my lifting has taken a back seat for a bit (I still lift legs as much as possible, and as much as I can), I promised myself that my “diet” will be the thing that holds me together. I was scared at first.. I was eating cookies practically every day and still  maintaining.. I was barely doing any cardio.. and then BAM! Active lifestyle cut short. I had to do something or I was going to self destruct.

So far so good.

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To be honest, my body is taking the lack of heavy lifting extremely well. I couldn’t believe it.. I woke up and had abs sitting up! Nothing I am doing is crazy extreme.. all I am doing is watching what I eat.. aaaaaaaand passing up the cookies (just for now). I am not counting calories, my macros.. nothing.. I probably should be but until I feel its necessary, I would rather just eat. I do prep my meals still, but again, no measuring of anything. I do take spin classes every other day (heavy resistance), to get SOME activity in my life. Like I said, I would be lost without it… I mean.. it really is my life. Even if I can’t train myself, I train people for a living and now, I can’t even spot someone correctly…  😦 But.. that’s not what this is about.

It’s about appreciating life. Really.. just in general. I mean, I broke a finger and I felt hopeless at times.. I felt like I lost myself.. I felt dependent on people for the dumbest things. Shout out to Justine for tying my shoes countless times..

smh..

But it made me appreciate the fact that I still have every other working limb. That in 4 weeks, I will be healed. Where as others won’t. Where mine seems so minor compared to others. I could only imagine the pain the suffering others with major health issues face. I pray for them, and I will continue to pray for them. When something is taken from you it affects you emotionally, and some times those emotions get the best of you.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I appreciate every single client, gym goer, and just random strangers, that try to boost my moral each and every day. It has been so heart warming to know that even if people are just being nosy, they took the time to ask how I was doing. It really has made me so much more appreciative of the life I live.

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Rants and Raves.

I constantly see feed on my Facebook of girls who are physically ripped to pieces, then verbally ripped to pieces. Just because you don’t personally like someones physique, doesn’t mean you should suddenly start speaking your mind. Regardless if its physically appealing, how is the dedication the commitment the complete and utter consistency and persistence to keep pushing hard each and every single day, not?

3 different body types. All have been critised one way or another..

photo 1photo 2(1)photo 3

This lifestyle isn’t easy. We have our good days and probably double the bad ones.
But what makes us stand out the most, is that we don’t give up, ESPECIALLY during the grueling days that present themselves. We push harder those days. We wake up tired and hungry but with each day that passes we are one step closer to achieving dreams we have made for ourselves.

How many of you can say you do that on a daily basis? Consistently push 100% for something that you hope one day all comes together? I must admit.. just writing these words right here right now makes me feel like just because I don’t feel accomplished in this world yet, that I will one day become unstoppable. I know who I am, but I also know who I want to be. I come off as mean and intimidating to those who don’t know me. I think they call that a “bitch” nowadays? The thing is though, is I can be. I’ll admit it. I have been so hurt in the last 24 years that its true, I can be ruthless at times. I don’t take shit life is way too short for that, but just because I have a tough exterior doesn’t mean I am not this soft loving person inside. I want to break this habit that everyone has to be mean to people they don’t know. As the days tick on, I realize how much hate is indeed infesting this world and how little love is spread. This world needs people sticking together, to work together. Whatever anyone amounts to be in this world, we will never leave it. The ground is where we all will lay to rest one day, a ground that lie just about every enemy we think we’ve had.Sorry, I can get carried away. Point is, if we arent bettering ourselves each and every day, we have no room to speak about others. Yes, opinions are like assholes, every one has one.. Well aware, but why try to belittle someones accomplishments? We know it clearly has nothing to do with them, but something you may be lacking in your own life. Anyways I am no ones therapist, so lets keep it simple. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

Silence is a source of great strength.

Remember that.

So with each day forward I want to become something better. I don’t want to be that person that everyone thinks I am. I will always have those certain walls up but doesn’t mean I don’t have a door and I can’t come out and play. Little do you know, I want to spread my knowledge and help those who are looking for it. I want to help you change your life.  I want to help you feel the power behind having a passion, achieving an accomplishment.

I will one day leave my mark in this world. I think although still very naive and opinionated, that I am strong, willed enough to push through these obstacles I set for myself. Conquer your mind and you can conquer the world.

images

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Playing catch up!

It seems that when I get overwhelmed, my blogging takes a hiatus. I think that’s because at times, blogging overwhelms me. I never proofread because I will end up highlight select all delete that shit.

So.. please excuse my lack of consistency and spelling errors.

Lets begin shall we. As one would guess, yes I am stressed. Overwhelmed is such a great word though.. fits me perfectly.. or this situation rather. Though I seem to use it quite frequently. Hmm.. Any who.. things have been good things have been bad, the only difference than before is I feel like I am keeping my head above water. That staying afloat, is not as hard as I was making it out to be.

I don’t care what life throws at me anymore.. Ill be scared when things stop and I have nothing to dodge anymore.. I mean… Just because you were given something, or dealt a shitty hand in life, doesn’t mean there’s only one solution.. that you have to continue on to a less successful path. You can make something out of nothing and I no longer want to coast through life. I want to make something happen. I want to start at the bottom through my trials and tribulations and just soar. I want to live. I am in the prime of my time. No rent, no bills (cell, insurance food ext but that’s it), no children, nothing should be stopping me. I have used my sister’s situation in as comparison and just because she’s about to finish school because financially she was helped, doesn’t mean I can’t. Just because NOTHING… I really am sick and tired of it.

I go off on tangents and I just don’t know when to quit.

Like this picture for example. One night I got upset, and instead of writing on the notepad app, I took to instagram. This was pretty recent and I just kept typing.

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Brighter side of things that just so happens to add to the stress, I am taking my NASM certification in 3 months. Stoked to have it on my resume, but nervous about the level of skill it will take to pass this test. I am just hoping with my 4 levels of experience that SOMETHING has caught on.. never mind.. just wish me luck lol..

Outside of constantly being busy with studying the next couple of months, I am training for a show. I don’t even know if I mentioned I was doing one last year (that I ended up NOT doing), but 2014 is going to be my next debut ;P I have a great team working with me and I cannot be happier. Working at this _ _ fitness has really opened my eyes up to the corporate world but even more so to some really incredible people. I am so blessed to finally have a group of people that know whats up. Life isnt about partying and bullshitting around.. Yes I would rather be at home in bed, but I at least want to be working on SOMETHING productive in my life. I don’t want all that bullshit. I want to focus and stay motivated in what I want to achieve in the next couple of months/year. I want to prove to MYSELF, no one else, myself that I can do this. I want to be lean. I want to be strong. I want to pass this NASM test so I feel like I do have some intelligence. I have so much that I want to knock off the list for 2014.

I am, however, making a promise to myself that if I am not where I want to be (or at least attempting it) that I will quit my job and go help people. I don’t care if it’s in chicago feeding the homeless, to moving to Africa to help children read. I think that sounds like a legit goal/promise.. Yeah, im gonna go with that.

So, that being said. I am currently 12 weeks out. I start my diet tomorrow which consists of a little carb cycling. I seem to pick up results pretty quickly with this. I will be taking progress pictures and as long as I get around to it, Ill post them weekly. I wont be doing any cardio for the first couple of weeks. No cardio as in, you wont be seeing my ass on a treadmill.. will you see me jumping around on a bench doing ski jumps or box jumps? You betchya!

Lets leave you with a few pictures. Some are just a few weeks of recap, and the my recent XMAS trip to Wisconsin. Enjoy! And don’t forget to check back in a week for simple fitness tips tricks and recipes. Man.. my blog is getting boring quick.

First snow storm with Marley.

First snow storm with Marley.

Ice skating in Chicago <3

Ice skating in Chicago ❤

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Yes this went down. BBQ chicken pizza from Papa Johns. AH-mazing.

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Still got em.. sort of.. ;P

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Ashley Horner. My Motivation for life.

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

Up in Wisco. This is a screenshot of a video the boy took. It was hilarious but I cant post it. :$

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SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

SELFIE!!! Beautiful scenery in Wisconsin.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Last but not least, just most recent my crazy insane red hair color.

Yeah… my blogs like that.

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Consistency IS key.

Blueberry protein muffins are away baking so figured I had some time to update my blog a tad. I don’t have much to say but want to stay consistent with things in my life. Yes, consistent. I fall in and out of patterns and habits so quickly I get overwhelmed trying to juggle it all. So.. this is one of them. I want to keep blogging although sometimes I either A. don’t want to or B. really have nothing interesting to say so why say it at all.
I have been baking.
A LOT.

Weird, I know. But I found a recipe (actually the pumpkin chocolate chip muffin one I posted prior) and I have been changing and adapting adding and subtracting! I’ve made the PCP ones 3 times, and an apple cinnamon one. So adding the blueberry to the list as well! I made a blueberry pancake today and figured since the boy is coming back from a week long fishing trip, I could bake him some! Okay, its really because the apple cinnamon ones are gone already. lol. Saturday morning I made butterscotch pancakes and let me tell you.. AHHHHH Mazing. I actually think I made those twice as well. The only thing is the butterscotch chips do have sugar in them obviously, so I only used a couple. I think the reason is that I only use a couple of ingredients so its easy to prep and bake. Plus.. who wouldn’t want delicious protein desserts to snack on when in doubt?

My amazing boo. With an awesome catch and award winning smile.

My amazing boo. With an awesome catch and award winning smile.

photo 3

..and I mean snack on. These bad boys are no joke. Although they only have like 150-175 calories per muffin……………. eating 3 in one sitting (NO JOKE THEY WERE JUST SO GOOD OUT OF THE OVEN)! They will send you right to the bathroom. Ugh.

So outside of all the goodies I made this past 3 day weekend, I also made a healthy mac and cheese and fucked the whole 2 dishes up. I over cooked it. 😦 bummer. So I wont be posting the recipe till I perfect it.

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The mac n' cheese with some chicken for a post work out meal.

The mac n’ cheese with some chicken for a post work out meal.

I’ve been hanging in there. Work is about to get even crazier but I have been taking time out to figure out new ways to get my clients attention. Who wants to be spending even more money on something they aren’t putting their effort into? I have a different mindset. After being this way for years, I don’t think I will ever change. My idea of what I want to look like wont just change over night. I cant even fathom getting pregnant…. good thing I have years and years before that happens. I want to be STRONG yet look that way as well. I don’t care about being called pretty thin fat manly, any of that. I want to be looked at and someone saying DAMMMMMMNNNNN she must be strong.. then watch me and be like DAAAAMMNNN she IS strong. lol. But back to what I was saying earlier, this is also something I want to stay consistent with. I feel like I get to a certain point then think I get go back to my old ways, or something that day pisses me off and I eat and ruin a week.. or I don’t know. Something, anything can throw me off. BECAUSE I ALLOW IT. That or I really want it.. for that moment. regardless, I am going to stay strong. Again. and again and again. See… at least I am not giving up. I want to get LEAN. The healthy way of course. But I want to see where I can take my body too. Hopefully with this new mindset I have randomly seemed to have grasped, I want to be proud of myself.

The muffins are about to be done. I am going to head out to the boys place and relax the rest of the night. Hes been driving for hours, so I am sure he isn’t going to want to do much. So enjoy my photo hoarding for the week.

LOVE this so much.

LOVE this so much.

Beautiful.

Beautiful.

<3

I should print this and stick it on my fridge, car, laptop...

I should print this and stick it on my fridge, car, laptop…

Amazing. Cannot wait to get lean as fuck.

Amazing. Cannot wait to get lean as fuck.

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