Tag Archives: mustang

My birthday dinner turned semi shit show.

My birthday this year fell on Tequila Tuesday at work.. where guys usually stay after and play pool get rowdy and drink beer.. or tequila lol but I decided I wanted to go to Ra sushi I think the week before.. it just so happened that it worked out perfectly to go after work (yes and miss another work out lol).. home boy doesn’t get off till 6 so I had to wait around for an hour which I didn’t mind too bad.. cept I didn’t eat another meal anticipating I’d be eating at 730-8.. well.. we made it… in time for happy hour… which started at 10… lol. So 2 hours isn’t THAT bad.. but I’m a bitch.. and even worse WHEN I’M HUNGRY!! haha.. at least I apologize for acting out of hunger. wamp. haha

so .. why a 2 hour delay? Here are some pictures…

Me waiting some more..

Me taking a picture of Matt taking a picture..

I waited till 6 then had to go to his house to shower and walk his dog.. made a pit stop and headed back to the shop to scoop Matt up so we could go to dinner.. well I wait around even longer so they could finish there game of pool.. no biggie.. headed out.. we get to the gas station and pull into a pump next to Matt to wait for him to grab cigarettes// and his hoopee breaks down. Starter .. well…. doesn’t start. Wont turn.. spend a little bit of time and realize we need to tow it. I’m fucking hungry. My fault completely. I ALWAYS have snacks and I had extra food at work but I honestly thought Id get food in my stomach digesting sooner then 6 hours after my last meal. Ohhhhhhh happppppy birthday.. lol.

Alright.. well we work at a body shop and use a towing company relatively a lot. They STILL wanted $75 to tow it not even 2 miles.. yeah. okay. So we got a chain and the shops pick up truck and he towed my ass all the way to work. Not cool. Turns sucked.. and the second one I made the chain snapped… Mind you this chain was attached to his support beam. Yeah. Okay cool. Well uh the last 250 ft I was screaming out the window “get me the FUCK out of this car”.. at LEAST 4 times. Panic attack type shit. All I could hear was the chain and it just YANKING the car.. all I had was brakes on a 92 mustang. I couldn’t do SHIT. After I calmed down a bit he actually apologized for “ruining” my birthday but I was more worried he was pissed at the whole car situation.. I would be.. time is time..

Chain snapped..

Any who.. We hope in my car and head to Ra.. a sushi place in The Glen around the block. We make it there at 9:55.. 5 minutes till happy hour that I told everyone I didn’t want to go to because 10 was too late.. lol.. hmm.. We pull up and again.. fucking starving.. but I cant find my ID that I took out of his car literally 15 minutes prior.. Cant find this shit anywhere.. Searching my gym bag that I use as my purse like a tard that I am throws it in the back seat because I randomly find my passport.. lmfao.

Made it.

Whatever.We head inside and we order shots.. well the boy and I did.. Matt wouldn’t take shots of vodka… weirdo. and then the menugasm started.. fucking love sushi. That is all.That and this beautiful picture of our food.. which we actually were still missing 2 plates..I tried everything which is surprising.. Actually enjoyed most of it.. especially the short ribs (not pictured) was fucking kill. I would of ordered 3 more plates if I could.. well.. I could of but the bartender told me to save room because they were buying me dessert.Well don’t mind if I do.Picture NOT shown because my battery died almost instantly after I took the sushi picture lol.. but Matt has it because he said he’d take it.. only after the bartender lit the candle again because I clearly wanted my damn wish haha..

Birthday shot for the birthday girl!

Heaven.

Actually Matt just texted them to me.. Here is the dessert. Fried Ice cream.
They each had one and I had 1 and 3/4… no such thing as too many calories on your birthday lol.. 😉
Got home around midnight but didn’t go to bed for a while.. he ended up staying over because well he lives in the opposite direction and me tired and driving doesn’t work well. Overall had a good night.. wasn’t anything special or extravagant but exactly what I wanted.. now HOW I “expected” (never expect a damn thing in life).. but it was a good night. Spending some time in the city this weekend to celebrate and have a little more fun before school and my “life” starts getting overwhelming again. lol.. joy.
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Weekend Recap

Where do I even begin?

Blueberry Pancakes w/ Walden Farms Pancake syrup

Friday Night- Driving to RSD

My boo and his boo 😉

Showing off my picture taking skills 😉

Saturday Morning- Pre Work Out

Boat Fail

Picture fucking perfect 🙂

Sunday Funday =D

 

Friday after work the boo and I went to RSD- dragstrip. Had a great time.. he raced his car with a new tranny and hit 13.0 (so proud of you boo).. He was super excited and it was ADORABLE.. I also ate a burger. It was great.
Saturday Morning rolled around and he left pretty early to do a job while I got my ass to the gym… we all know I am uncomfortable as fuck (or insecure I suppose) about being in a bikini in front of a shit ton of people.. Figured I would of been fine.. had a flat stomach when I woke up..abs were slightly visible.. blahblahblah got a leg workout in and drank my normal post workout protein shake but as the hours went by I got more and more uncomfortable. Go figure.
I told my boy the day before that if I don’t feel like going (aka I look like shit) that I still want him to go and enjoy himself. He knows how I am and how I get and I appreciate it to the fullest, but doesn’t mean that he needs to put his life on the back burner just because I don’t know how to just go with the flow… buttttt I ended up going and still had a great time. My boss came out with his boat and another co worker had a friend out there too. It was hot but not sunny music blaring and smiles all around. After 4ish hours went by I started getting a little too drunk for my liking.. I told my boy to go get his keys so I could get away from the music (head started to spin).. as I was walking up to the car he thought I was mad at him (miscommunication on my part) and we got into a littler argument about looking at girls? uhh.. I was silent during this whole thing so when he started throwing shit around I obviously got aggravated.. I don’t give a FUCK who he looks at.. as long as I am not cheated on for once in my life, I am all gravy.
So shit went south, I left to go back to the boat to get my shit, came back and waited a little bit (both a little tispy).. then headed to go get more burgers. lmao. I don’t know why but I have been craving burgers for the longest time. Ate outside and just talked.. pretty much about how in love we are with each other.. and its true. I can’t even say it enough..
ANYWAYYYYYYSSSSSSSS

We got home, he wanted to go out (sorry boo) but when I drink too much I cant be around people :/ I told him to go (not like i wanted him too because I don’t want to be in a house that’s not mine alone but whatever.. hate ruining peoples plans) but he didn’t. We got home, I laid in bed and that was it. Passed the fuck out.

Woke up at 930am lounged around for a bit then headed to TGIF with the boo because apparently I eat what I want. Ive been super stoked to go there for some odd reason. Orders nachos (not that great) but had this cheese dip that was flame.. maxed the fuck out.. Ordered teryaki skewers with sweet potato fries.. ate my bf’s regular fries though and took most of my lunch home.. After we were in a food coma we napped.. for hours. Woke back up again and I left shortly after. Pretty much did the same thing and was lazy the rest of the weekend.. again.. go figure.

Monday morning (today), over slept.. kept hitting snooze but was ever so comfortable. Ill start my early morning cardio sessions tomorrow. No joke. I have less than 3 weeks till my birthday with a few pounds to play with (id prefer to lose my fat into muscle then just lose it altogether).. I can do this. No eating shitty, no alcohol drinking, just clean good fun 🙂 I have a super sexy dress I want to wear and Ill be damned if I don’t feel fabulous in it 😉

 

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Learning How to Live.

“If you make failure an option, it becomes a possibility

So it’s been a couple days since my last post, and even more so a few days since my last work out. This whole trying to find a balance in my life is actually working out pretty well. I originally set out with a 8 week challenge for myself. I have been doing pretty good with the exception of the July 4th holiday. Usually I would be obsessed about getting a workout in before I went out, but I didn’t even think twice. I literally just enjoyed the time I had off with the people that legit make me happy. I watched what I ate (when I did eat yikes!), but didn’t hesitate to eat burgers and fries in the ghetto off my boys truck of his car 🙂

I am trying this whole enjoying life type thing, with a little less of my compulsiveness and although I am not as lean as I’d like to be, I am comfortable. Don’t know if I could say that if I was put in a bikini (holding water weight under my ass).. but we’re working on it!

&& another thing to note. Yesterday was 1 year that Chris was taken from us. I think about you a lot and I pray that you re in a better place. We ALL miss you Chris. You are a beautiful soul.

Food Log:

Protein Shake && Snacks for the Day!

830am Dymatize Protein Shake (w/ Strawberries, Chia/Flax/Hemp seeds, Ice and Water).
1030am Ezekiel English Muffin w/ 1 TBS PB.
1pm Blackened Chicken Breast w/ Brown Rice.
330pm Chicken Breast Salad (olive oil), w/ 100 calorie pack of almonds.
6pm Pre Work Out (Haven’t decided yet).
9pm Post Work Out Protein Shake *MAKE SURE YOU EAT COMPLEX (or even simple carbohydrates) POST WORK OUT* MUY IMPORTANTE!!!!!
11pm If need be (you never know how late I may stay up).. Casein Protein Shake or cottage cheese and a few almonds.

The Work Out:

Doing Back today, but I really want my ass back and my legs to be as toned as they should be. SOOOO with that being said.. I think I may do 50-100 lunges a day, regardless if I am lifting legs that day (I train legs 2x a week).

My main exercises for back are Lat Pull downs, Chin/Pull Ups, and a shit ton of rows (uni lateral, bent over ext). I do want to add in Good Mornings (also a hamstring exercise, but the way you bend and keep your back straight does WONDERS, and you really feel it in your back).

Good Mornings

Lat Pull downs 4 x 70+ x failure (= 4 sets of 70+ in weight, till failure).
Uni- Lateral Row 3 x 35 x 12-15 reps
Lunges 5 x 15 (each hand) x 10-20 reps
Good Mornings 3 x 30 x 10 reps
Assisted Pull Ups 3 x 120 x 10 reps

So, as you can see I am back on track. I enjoyed my few days off and can’t wait to get back in the gym. I don’t realize I miss the gym until I get in there and do work. I will finish my workout with some interval training on the treadmill. I am trying to work on learning how to run. Yes, LEARNING how to run. Excited for the next 4 weeks (until my birthday), and see how much I can change my body. I’ve decided not to eat cheat meals (only missing 4.. whoopdedo).. but I will keep fruit in my diet (for the natural sugar), and start baking again 🙂 There has been a LOT of recipes that have looked really freakin’ interesting and I am super excited to try them. I will post my favorites 🙂 Like this one..

Cocoa Crispy Treats =D

Recipe & Picture from Chocolate Covered Katie

(can be gluten-free!)

Recipe inspired by these babies.

  • 3 cups rice crispies (I used gf brown rice crispies)
  • 2 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp salt (I used salted pb, too)
  • 1/2 cup plus 2 tbsp nut butter of choice (For lower-cal option, see calorie link below.)
  • 1/2 cup sticky sweetener ( (I used agave. For low-sugar options, see calorie link below.)
  • optional: 1/4 cup cocoa powder (or your favorite chocolate protein powder)
  • optional: melted chocolate to drizzle over the top

Mix your pb (or other nut butter of choice), sweetener, vanilla, cocoa, and salt. Melt (either in the microwave or stove), then pour over the cereal and stir very well, making sure to coat all the crispies. (For a richer chocolate taste, try subbing chocolate chips for some of the cocoa powder.)  Form into balls or line a pan with wax paper and spread the mixture evenly into the pan. Place a sheet of wax paper on top of the mixture, then press down as firmly as you can. Really press it down! Freeze for at least a half hour before slicing.

 

Enjoy!

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Some sort of growth, right?

“When I see these pictures I often find myself thinking, what else have they had to give up in order to attain that physique? What relationships have suffered? What other areas of their life have they not had the opportunity to cultivate? What would that person ever do if circumstances (such as age, illness, some personal tragedy) turned the tide and they couldn’t maintain that image anymore? Would their identity be lost? Would others no longer be impressed by them?”

I recently saw this on someones blog, and holy cow.
I haven’t thought about my life without fitness or a healthy lifestyle till I came across that paragraph and wow was I lost for words.
My life has consisted of years of self abuse. Eating disorder after eating disorder. Diet pill after diet pill. Work out after work out.
This is all I know. I know weight loss. I know self hate. I know unhealthy. I know healthy.
Now.. I don’t know a life without constantly thinking about working out, hating myself, and food as much as I’ve lived this one. lol. Whatever I am doing.. surfing the net, posting fitness tips, pinching extra fat on my things, looking in the mirror, smelling a bomb ass slice of pizza, salivating over pinterest.. literally.. not a day.. not an hour.. not even a min goes by without me thinking about “fitness”.. So what would happen? What would change if I no longer could do the things I do on a day-to-day basis? What if I couldn’t work out?
The only thing I can pinpoint that I know 100% to be true.. is as long as I didn’t put on weight (or get what I feel s my uncomfortable zone) then I would try to make the best out of the situation.. but if the weight starting creeping and I wasn’t able to be active I think would ruin me. The idea of me being fat… FEELING fat hurts my heart. No joke.
Actually writing this out makes me sound selfish. Fuck. Seriously.. lets move on..
SO reading this on Friday guess what I did?
I had one of the best weekends of my life.
It didn’t start off so well but it definitely made me realize that I wouldn’t be lost without my fitness lifestyle.. that’s not something I focus on. It is literally my outward appearance. I NEED to look good (or at least THINK I look good lol). I like seeing collar bones and broad shoulders. I love having an ass but a flat stomach. I want my legs more defined… bigger even. Before I wouldn’t IMAGINE being “thicker” (I fucking hate that word). But in reality this is comfort. Healthy IS happy.
So, since I really don’t want to make this super long I won’t go much into detail (I ramble anyways so feel free to speed read).. I got home friday night knowing I wasn’t going to work out. I wanted to rest so that’s exactly what I planned on doing. I had saved these pre made smores the entire week and really wanted it right then and there. So what did I do? I had it.. Do you see a pattern in my decision-making? lol. So I was talking to my mom and she interrupted and said, should you be eating that? 
Fuck. I literally snapped. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time she’s made a comment like this, however it’s usually when I really shouldn’t be eating it (during contest prep). So I suppose I could understand.. but what the f u c k ? It kind of hurt. I ended up trying to explain how I felt and she got weird and didn’t understand so I walked out and called her a fucking asshole. 
 
1. Yes I was wrong for calling my mother an asshole.
2. This exact question, from her and an ex boyfriend, has started binges. Consider it a “trigger”.
 
We pretty much didn’t talk all night. I think she texted me something but my phone ended up dying. I passed out trying to charge my computer so it could charge my phone.

Saturday Morning..

.. I woke up feeling pretty good. I made breakfast, and cleaned up a bit. I had plans to go to Ribfest with a few friends but it was still pretty early (damn you internal clock). So I ended up putting a blanket outside and trying to tan. About 15 minutes in he calls me and I plan to leave within the hour. Everything pretty much goes as planned. I get to his house and we take the convertible down towards the city. tragic wasn’t that bad but I was stoked to be in the sun tanning with the top down lol, so I could care less. We see a carnival on the side of the highway and I made a comment about exes saying they’d win me a bear but I end up winning it myself. So what did he do? Took a detour parked the car and we didn’t leave the carnival till he won me a bear. Oh and eat a funnel cake too. So we hoped back in the car, got to the fest and pretty much gained weight. We ate fried oreos, ribs, more ribs and more bbq lol. After we walked around a bit, he got a few calls to go to the race track in Joliet. We dipped and ended up staying at the track for at least 5 hours. We drank margaritas and I ate someones french fries.. and popcorn. lol. Blahblahblah we end up driving home but ended up stopping at a friend’s house to drink. And drink I did. 
 
Woke up in a bed on..

Sunday AM..

.. Up early as hell no hangover. Success. 11am his friend calls him to go with him and his gf to breakfast. We drive about 20 minutes to a breakfast place named Ellies (no pictures because phone was dead). I think it would have been a lot better had I known what the ingredients were like. They were fresh but wasn’t expecting it. Like for example I ordered a skillet with green pepper… however they were the huge peppers and not cut down (they were literally the size of a mini twix lol)… but then I took no joke less than 10 bites and I was full. I was just dehydrated like a mother fucker. So I just chugged diet coke and water (bad idea btw). We leave and get dropped off not knowing what are plans were next. I sit in the backyard and put suntan lotion on. He gets a call and we roll over to his friend’s house. Sun tanning and drinking for hours. It was so chill. Literally stopped everything to go to Trader Joes for Mochi balls.. lol…. I think in total we had like 8 boxes.. They were defiantly weird lol. After we bail we go back to his house and sit and chill till I realize that I wanted Cold Stone. So what did we do? We got Cold stone lol. Fuck yeah.
So. that was pretty much straight my weekend. Now.. this wasn’t anything special.. No, I didn’t win the lottery or get a new car. I didn’t work out once and I ate like shit the entire weekend (no I do not recommend this. One or two cheat meals a week. NOT cheat DAYS!) Yes, I wasn’t AS comfortable and no I didn’t really want to walk around in a bikini, but for once I wasn’t constantly thinking about fitness, the gym, working out or fucking protein powder. I was LIVING. As simple as my weekend was, it was unbelievably relaxing. I felt like I took a mini vacation from myself.

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