Tag Archives: Myofusion

My Burden is Easing.

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she’s running from wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found
And life all around
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above, my burden is easing

I am almost ready to get back in the gym again. I am stocking up on all my lovely products (Quest Bar, Myofusion, and Dymatize Protein Powders..Still have to get Nuts n’ more and PB2). It is super nice not worrying about morning cardio or your meals every 2 or 3 hours on the hour.. (yes I will continue to eating hourly but these last few days Ive just focused on when I am hungry.. which hasn’t been often because I feel like I am permanently bloated from the last few days of cheats haha)..
  1. Progress Pictures WILL be up shortly.. I just wanted to find a cool way of doing it but that was a fail and now I am just using an excuse to validate my procrastination.
  2. Recipes/ Workouts/ Food Log will be posted like prior format Monday (21st).
  3. I want my pinterest account shown on my homepage.. possible?
How do I feel? I feel fat. I have eaten whatever I wanted for the last 3 and 1/2 days and I just feel it weighing me down. I have taken this week and actually have been really enjoying myself. I have 3 months till my birthday and I want to look PROUD. Yes, proud. It took 3 months for me to get where I am now and I just know that the next 3 months in the gym are going to be SICK.. haha.. I don’t think you understand how excited I am for life to be in the happy lane.. .lol. I am a dork (I actually hate this word.. and I seem to get called it a lot….. not to mention a dork is a whale’s penis but its like so.. innocent.. not innocent but geeky? lol).. whatever.. but in all honestly I am ready to live life happy is all I meant by that weird ass sentence..
But yes this week I have been super relaxed and completely stress free. Yes I still obsess about the fact that I now “jiggle” lmfao.. but I am embracing it. Everyone knows what I’ve been through and have been SUPER cool about everything and by everything I mean about me binging.. IN PUBLIC!! hahahahaha no joke. This is super unhealthy by the way, but I was literally forcing food in me. Not even just unhealthy but rather disgusting lol. But its been fun (and super uncomfortable). I have been to some really cool places and have had a smile on my face since this past weekend. It’s lovely 🙂
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT all this food and every last minute of the sugar high and prego bloat is NOT worth looking in the mirror and LOVING what you see when you stand there naked. No joke. It may or may not mean a lot to you guys, and that’s most likely because you have never actually been completely satisfied, but it changes things. (Not to forget that busting ass in the gym is rewarding yes, but most of the time it SUCKS and it’s PAINFUL and it takes what seems like a really fucking LONG TIME to show sings of progress!!!) The confidence and security you gain is magical. I have been fighting for YEARS, and I can’t say I won or found some cure but I found happiness. There are still so many aspects of my life I want to change but loving myself was first.
&& Thank you everyone for the sweet sweettttt comments.  I get super cheesy and emotional ALL the time, but I’ll say it again.. I appreciate everyone who takes their time to read what I blatantly don’t proofread or filter out and still find a positive message within.. and comment with a compliment. I smile so much when I see my email filled with people who found some sort of peace when reading my rants. I really do want to extend my hand and offer anyone help in anyway that I possibly can.. please feel free to email me at anytime:


We’ll all get there one day. Faith my friends.
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Day 40 FRIDAY’s Blog (WP is not being nice to me).

Day 40. phew… its been 40 days of no processed foods/fast food/anything other then WHOLE foods.. Isn’t that crazy??

&& I am almost 3 months free of smoking as well. YEAH buddy <– simple things in life bring me joy now 😉

930am Protein Shake. Probiotic Myofusion (again, tastes like shit), superblend (macs,hemp,something else can’t remember) and a little bit of coconut oil ice and coconut milk I think.. fuck.. SEE THIS IS WHY I WRITE DOWN AS I GO hahah whatever give or take 50 calories.

10am got to work.

130pm Leftover steak (6oz) and broccoli, a little late on eating today. From here and till 6pm I did have a Lara Bar though because my STOMACH WAS ON FIRE…. wtf is with these hunger pains??????????

6pm Left Work, headed to Whole Foods because I ran out of food and I really wanted chicken for this weekend. Spent $15 on 3 pieces of chicken.


6pm-845pm I was a bad girl. I didn’t eat 😦 I was having a heart to heart about everything and time just slipped away. Car ride home ate a cold chicken breast lol.

930pm  Arrived home.

1005pm Arrived at LA Fitness.

1006pm Realized LA Fitness closes at 10pm. Can’t miss a workout.. or if I did it would just be an excuse.. and its a friday.. and we already know I don’t have a life.. so…..

1015pm Drive to Xsport in Libertyville. Beginning of my little adventure my gas light goes on… Figured I can make it to work on an empty tank I can make it 20 min down the road.

1040pm Arrive at Xsport Fitness. Realize I do not have my debit card nor cash to pay the $10 to get into Xsport.
Call Ashley and ask her if she still works out at Xsport. Hang up.
Use her name to get in.


Back Day Today!


Started with Assisted Pull ups Supersetted with Lat pulldowns.

110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10reps
110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10 reps
95lbs 8 reps – 80lbs 8 reps
95lbs 6 reps – Then some guy sat right behind me. So I moved.


To the Single Arm Row.

50lbs 10reps each arm
50lbs 10reps each arm
40lbs 12reps each arm
30lbs 12reps each arm


Moved to the Bent Over Row (cables actually).

90lbs 12reps
100lbs 10reps
110lbs 8reps
120lbs 8reps
130lbs 6reps

11pm Realize that my gas light went off, after I already drove 10-12 miles.. and I don’t have any cash on me.

11-1130pm Tell _____ that he might have to pick me up if a reserve tank can go 40 miles. IF not, plan on coming out to LV to help me out lol.

Finish up 30 min on stair master.

1201pm Made it safely and actually got home. Made 6oz ground turkey, 1/2 banana (WHAT ITS MY WEEKEND!!) :):):)

1237pm Finishing blog. Going to bed. SEEEEE YAAAAA. Can’t wait to turn my alarm clocks off ❤

Goodnight ❤

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Day 16 Eat Clean Train Dirty

I try to start every day with a motivational quote or something positive, but today since the weather was something other then dry, people decide to drive like they have never driven before. Some of you my friends, should NOT have a drivers license.

^ a LOT nicer then what I put on my facebook.. lol but I’ve cooled off. R O A D R A G E.

and then I found this quote..

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

&& and I couldn’t say it better myself. I just have to remind myself to be positive every time I get stressed out. Speaking of being stressed out….

.. my jeans size 7 (YES……I’m telling you my ass is HUGE.. ok and I’m a lil chunky) but they fit…. yeah.. but my size 8’s from YESTERDAY  didn’t and PISSED me off.. oh alright.

830am Finished Myofusion PB2 Flax & Fiber Shake.

1230pm still haven’t eaten and I’M STARVING.

Speaking of training…. I don’t know if I should keep doing legs 2x a week lol.. but I’ll stick with it for now.. CAN’T FUCKING WAIT. Leg day hurts like a bitch, but it’s so worth it.

Exercises you SHOULDN’T do.

Lat Pull-down Behind the Head

The problem: Only people with very mobile shoulder joints can keep their spines straight enough to do this exercise properly. So the move — done wrong — can lead to shoulder impingement or worse, a tear in the rotator cuff. And if the bar hits the back of the neck, it could injure cervical vertebrae.

Upright Row

The problem: Pulling weights, a barbell, or a weighted cabled bar up under your chin is a big no-no because it can compress the nerves in the shoulder area, impinging the shoulder.

Leg Press with Poor Knee Position

From a reclining position, you push the plate up and bring it down in this common exercise to work the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes. The problem comes when you bend your legs too far — past a 90-degree angle — which can hurt your back and knees.

Squats on the Smith Machine

The problem: The bar on the machine doesn’t give, which can force the body into risky positions. Plus, people tend to put their feet farther in front of their bodies when doing squats on the machine, which makes matters worse.

Bad Form on Cardio Machines

The problem: Hunching over or using a death-grip on the handrail cheats your body and can throw off your alignment, jarring your spine, shoulders, and elbows.

Always Lifting with a Weight Belt

The problem: Too many people wear weight belts too often. Unless you have a back injury or other medical reason — or are lifting a lot of weight — the weight belt may let your core muscles slack off. And you need your core muscles all the time in everyday life.

The solution: Back off the weight belt unless it’s necessary.

Exercising in the Wrong Shoes

Even if you’re doing everything else right, your efforts can be undermined by improper footwear. Working out with the wrong shoes increases pounding on the joints, and can lead to injuries like plantar fasciitis or tendonitis.


Oh man. I am going to have to figure out a new way to do squats AND upright row.. 2 of my fave exercises. Seriously? I am going to have to do more research.  Speaking of research my test study guide is sure as SHIT not on blackboard like he says it is. WTF and my test is tomorrow. Even though I’m 50% sure I’ll be fine lol (I have tonight!)


I’m excited because I get to try a new one every day (I already ate the PB one- AH MAZING) but I really am nervous, they taste so good and I was craving one after I JUST HAD ONE!…  but I think I’ll be okay. Even if I did have another one I’m doing legs today and I barely ate (BAD DO NOT TAKE AFTER ME!)…  Can’t wait to make a s hake when I get home.  But so far so good (knock on wood), I haven’t really had any cravings.

I love the fact that a light switch finally turned on after all this time and I am finally myself again. I do know that I couldn’t do it with out the big man upstairs. I have gotten extremely closer to him the last few years and this year I seem to have found peace, and let me tell you, it is an amazing feeling.

It’s 545pm Taking Marley out and then making food. I am so hungry its not even funny. relaxing a bit then hitting legs hard today. I’m going to focus on squats and lunges today, end with leg extensions and obviously can’t forget calves.

Sorry today was boring. I have to finish up studying so I have no recipe to make or news to share. I do want to do a before and afters sometimes soon. I will have to collect my pics from last years comp and put them side to side. Progress pics are always fun to look at except when you look in the mirror after seeing your abs once look like this:

Post NPC Bikini Comp (literally day after). Usually people will either be “veiny” or bloated because of what you “normally” do after a show (BINGE LIKE A CRAZY BIOTCH!) but I actually only had a gatorade I believe. I just stayed up so late and didn’t have a chance to eat. However.. its GREAT motivation because I knew what it took to get there and I am SO much better this time around.

Big reason why? I am single.

No joke.

BUT! I think I am going to save that for a different blog. Being in a relationship and taking up competing can be a very DRAINING thing for relationships. Ive actually heard a lot of stories with loved ones upset with the other regarding training and I find it bullshit. The reasons my exes used were pathetic and I think people should do what they want, otherwise you’re giving yourself away. I strongly believe that, especially regarding weight/fitness. SO DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY IN THE END.  There is NO reason you should give up your goals/dreams/ambitions for ANYONE.


Walked into the gym (HAMMIES STILL BURNING BTW), saw both smith machines were occupied so I opted for the LEG PRESS. and HOLY SHIT.

Warm up set was 3 x15 at 90lbs then

1×12 140lbs

1×12 180lbs

1×10 230lbs

1×8 270lbs !!!!!!!

270lbs FUCK YES! 

Honestly, I was so proud of myself. I could of done more reps or weight but a dude asked me how long I had left and I felt bad because I was taking longer.. I SHOULDN’T FEEL BAD RIGHT?!?! lol.. but yea.. at first I started with only 30 second breaks in between, then I moved to a minute, then the heavier I got the more time I needed but the sweat was dripping!

I laid low with the calf raise 45lbs with 2×10, Just to catch my breath.

Off to lunges with 40lbs (20lb DB in each hand).

3x 25 

1x bw (body weight).

I honestly was SHAKING.. I finished it off with Leg ext (another fave).

I did 12, 10, 8, 6, 4 starting from 65lbs and went up to 125lbs.

And then I left. And had to wait a little bit before I started driving. It was awesome.

Had a myofusion pb2 protein shake.

Here I am now at 10:45pm.

And here is a sexy girl, because I have to go to “study” and go to sleep now. 😉

 Goodnight ❤

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My Go-To’s

Supplement companies are just like every other money making company out there. I will be careful WHEN I get signed (lol gotta stay positive right?) that I pick a credited company. One that believes in fitness and being healthy. Yes There are MANY things I need to change in my current lifestyle but I’m working on it. I don’t know of anyone that could kick every bad habit at once successfully. I am proud of myself for quitting smoking. I would like to stop drinking soda ALTOGETHER.. :(:( (mcdonalds diet coke is awesome, AND A LARGE IS ON THE DOLLAR MENU$$!!). No business in it for $$$ over health and wellness will get me to stand behind them. Anyways I can find most of my supplements at my ol gym (Xsport Fitness) but now I will either buy online or the GNC down the street. I’m sticking with MYOFUSION (for now), as my protein. I stick with chocolate, but I need to scoop up a vanilla one so I can try new recipes with them. I don’t like myofusions vanilla so I’ll probably get a OPTIMUM NUTRITION vanilla casein.


LOL. as you can see I really like my myofusion. I have tried probably every protein out there and this is by far my fave. The last protein I mentioned before came in with my NINJA.. The WHEY GOURMET came in strawberry banana. I only had like 4 choices to choose from and none of them I wanted to try. But it had only 120 cals and supposedly voted The Best Protein, but I beg to differ. I add real straw and bananas too but still didn’t taste that great. && that small container cost $50, the same price as one of the jugs of myofusion pictured above. So next to the Whey Gourmet, is the NINJA- http://www.zelitenutrition.com You can type in mm1 for a discount. It is a pre workout. NO BULLSHIT. Gives you energy within seconds, with no crash later. The ingredients are minimal* for a pre workout drink or supplement and doesn’t taste that bad either.

Another pre workout that most people don’t use because they do use a lot of crap in them, but this is the best pre workout.. besides ninja obviously. I have tried MANY pre workouts SuperPump NO explode 1MR ext and I REALLLLLY really loved Jack3d

I took this pic to show off my new shoes too btw.. LOL.. They suck but they are so fucking cute..  Anyways talking about PRE WORKOUTS. You can use them you can choose not to use them. You don’t NEED to.. I still go to the gym without a pre workout and still get a kick ass workout. I remember there was a time where I couldn’t work out unless I drank something to raise my heart rate a bit.. But then I also plateaued on them as well… If you do decide to use them, which I figure is mind over matter now, remember you will have to kick the habit if you are doing a show or trying to lose water weight when you get close to show time. Creatine is the cause of that and will cause bloating so just an fyi if you start holding a little bit of water. Pictured below is another protein I tried after a client went to GNC and actually got the help of the worker. I was a little hesitant because most people like proteins that TASTE good.. but thats bc they have added sugar and way more carbs then nec.



  • Mixes Instantly
  • 23 Grams of Protein Per Packet
  • Aspartame FREE
  • Zero Sugar
  • Zero Carbs
  • Zero Fat
  • Promina Whey Isolate
  • Delicious Gourmet Sweet Flavors
  • Sweetened With Sucralose

Variety Pack includes the following 13 flavors: Chocolate Truffle, Vanilla Bean Torte, Roadside Lemonade, Lemon Tea, Apple Ecstasy, Latte Cappuccino, Caribbean Cooler, Crystal Sky, Fuzzy Navel, Strawberry Kiwi, Twisted Cherry, Strawberry Mousse and Pink Grapefruit.


I buy FLAXSEED and FIBER from Jewel

I also have Stevia (in the bag easier for baking) About Time protein Mrs Dash for sodium free seasoning and 100 cal packs of cocoa roasted almonds. TO DIE FOR! and completely nec. to put in 100cal packs). Amino Acid powder drink, and target brand zero calorie drink flavors <– makes drinking 1 gal and 1.2 of water ALOT easier 😉 and lastly Olive Oil cooking spray.

About Time protein. I found on somones Facebook actually. I was getting into trying new proteins and if you can find one that tastes great AND has zero carbs, keep hold of that one. Unfortunately I didn’t find any of these flavors really worth it. Granted YES I would drink it if it was the only thing available but I don’t think Id purchase it out of the blue. Unless she did have a good deal on it like last year, was buy one get one free. But a HUGE reason I bought this protein besides being zero carbs and sugar was it came in ON THE GO bottles, which is a FANTASTIC idea. Price was just about the same as my myofusion.

My shoes are NIKE PUMA (and that one pair of adidas lol)

My workout clothes are random tshirt companies, nike puma and LULULEMON (WHICH IS MY ABS. FAVE!!) This sweatshirt which is an awesome company #liftbigeatbig

Below are two products I use to help me thru the day when I get hungry. The first picture is Arctic Ice. Comes in a few flavors. I have tried the strawberry cookies and cream and chocolate. The chocolate is by far the best then strawberry then c&c I hear the coffee one is good and so is the pumpkin and mint c&c but I get mine at Whole Foods and they only carry those flavors. You can buy it online but I think you have to buy them in bulk?? I’m not sure but they are like 4-5$ per pint.

150 CALORIES AN ENTIRE PINT!!!!! Cant beat that!! and I think it has like 25 grams of protein? Don’t quote me on that though..

The second picture is my favorite nuts! The cocoa roasted ones are good and so are the dry roasted but the cinnamon ones are EVEN better. I believe that other companies are doing the flavored notes but they get very high in the calorie department so try and stick with these, and if you can try and get the 100 cal packs. They are hard to put down so the portion control is perfect. They are like $6 a “can” or you can try an find them on sale for 2 for $8. The 100 cal packs I find are only at Target.

So thats a QUICK trip about the products I use. If I find anything else that I may have missed Ill add it in later.. Its late and I feel like its even later.. On a lighter note this blogging has really made me realize and focus on my eating habits which is a great feeling to finally feel like I have control. Im going to leave tonight with a “quote” or a “passage” from a blog that has inspired me to write and truly understand things about myself. Enjoy your night kids (: Feel Free to ask any questions. Hope you guys are staying true ❤

Father God, please help me find balance. Help me to maintain overall healthy eating patterns without completely depriving myself or being able to ever enjoy the foods you’ve designed me to love. I know that you’ve given us diverse foods to enjoy; please help me to enjoy them in moderation and realize that I can do that without being either dieting or not dieting. It’s just food. I need food to survive. I’m blessed to live in one of the richest nations in the world where I should be so lucky as to struggle with having too much food and too many choices at my disposal. Help me to enjoy and fuel myself in a healthy way. I pray all these things in your precious Son’s name, Jesus.

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