Tag Archives: Nasty

Day 28 Big girls don’t cry…anymore.

So the post is pending, I think I fucked something up. Whatever you do, don’t fool around with the publish button. This was before it decided to publish on its own, but then not publish when I want it too.. whatever.

It is 9:22am And I should be getting ready for church but guess were not going. I COULD go by myself.. and maybe I should have, but it was only my second time and I practically backed out of prayer group even with my mom sistting there. Idk . So here is my nasty breakfast (when I SHOULD of made real food, not a liquid one)….

Banana PB icecream on left (which is always good) and my nasty ass protein shake on the right.
It is whole foods brand, mixed with superblend and coconut milk and 4-5 ice cubes. and it literally tasted like ass.

I waited a little bit (more web surfing facefucking) probably smoked some more pot. finished my taxes though…
and then headed to the gym at around 130pm.. Did a little arm work out! <ENTER SARCASM HERE. AND EVERYWHERE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER> you know my FAVE!!

I needed a little matter before my mind 😉
DEF needed a “pre workout” or some sort to even want to think about doing arms..
It wasn’t so bad though. I have been feeling stronger and it makes the work out that much better.

Started with

Standing DB curls 25 lbs 12 reps super setted with standing BB 40lbs curls 10 reps 4 x thru.

Assisted dips 8 reps ss with BW dips 10 reps 3 x thru

Tricep Pushdown 12 reps ss w Cable curls 25,30,35 lbs x 6-8 reps 3 x thru

I was just about to rant about “common sense” gym “rules” lol.. when I realized no one has common sense to begin with, why would I ever think they would have manners in a gym setting? People are ignorant, yes I have been myself, but I don’t just go up to a machine and take it. I ask around if it looks like someone might be there and if no one speaks up then I proceed. But WHAT THE F U C K ? !  not only did these 2 individuals not care, they took part of my machine down so they could do pointless AB exercises, (sorry still a firm believer in abs are made in the kitchen). I was like whatever and just kept going with the cable curls.

I ended with 8 pathetic bosu ball push ups 2 sets of pathetic triceps pushback 15lbs for 8 reps

and just decided to do my planks. So 5 minutes of F/S/S still only doing 30 seconds each.

Was everyone aware of my little decision to do this entire contest prep with ONLY DOING PLANKS! GOT THAT FOLKS?!??!?! So all my progress pics, and my befores and afters will have been only with the help of planks. Well see how I turn out.

That and I only wanted to do the stair master for this contest prep as well bc I was gay last year and did the treadmill (and lost my precious ass), but like today, though Im not doing cardio on the weekends yet I wanted to do some for the hell of it. Stair master was taken by 3 people holding on, so I decided to do 20 minutes of treadmill on an 10 or higher level at about 2.8 mph. Wasn’t bad either, I could feel how sore my butt cheeks are from those lunges though yesterday. lol

3pm Chicken corn 1/4c brown rice and broccoli and I ate some lite sour cream for after my workout. Fucking bomb.

Seriously I am addicted to corn (only on the weekends do I have it), but what the fuck is going on?
what is up with these corn cravings lol

So I came upstairs and decided to chill for a little bit, update this lovely blog of mine before I do a clean sweep of my room. Going to see project x tonight at around 930, should be good. HEard it was lol. oh AND MY FUCKING TAXES ALREADY CAME BACK RETURNED! UGHHHHHHHHHH!

Whatever that and I think my license is going to be suspended. not even joking. well see. staying positive.

I think I mentioned last night but this is the 60 second chocolate cake I made last night. HOLY SHIT. I AM IN L O V E! Def a great weekend “cheat”

Screenshot from Chocolate covered katie )

Sorry my pictures actually look like shit.. And def doesn’t do it justice.. But can you see how moist it is? And so fucking chocolately (and to think I could of added some cocoa nibs or even cc’s!) But this was fantastic. I literally went back up to bed with a huge smile on my face. It was that good. And it had 3 TBS WW flour and 3 tsp cane sugar, those 2 were the only bad ingredients and it wasn’t even that much. Anywho, hope you all try it.. you will not be disappointed.

and as you know well you don’t but its 4:41 pm

and all I have done is surf the web. and smoke pot.. but thats just cuz.. I was gonna be laying here anyways lol.. but better for you because I have some cool pictures. and some super motivation. BUT here is first shit I am going to buy as soon as my dad sends my $$$ for school ( I already paid for it so relax kids). Id say my income taxes too but that has to go to my savings.. I just randomly went on spending sprees. (no thanks for j stano’s blog lol)

These are from liftbigeatbig.com ❤

So super excited. The middle one will be a sweatshirt, in that purple. The purple looks so dope. And I would do the I know squat in a sweatshirt too but I don’t think they have them yet. Gosh do I know how I randomly found this site. :):)

So I ate at 3ish, so eat again at 6ish… but will be at movies at 9.. hmmm… maybe a quick protein shake at 9 or something.. I am going to go make steak and sweet potato fries. A way to kind of end my weekend cheats 🙂 I love sweet potato fries now.. mmmmmm I gotta start eating them raw though.. well cross that bridge when we come to it.. should be cleaning up here soon and then Ill head out.

and heres some lovely motivation :

 Like look at how sexy these ladies are. Why would you NOT want to feel good and look good? Everyone wants to look good but no one wants to do the work ( i think I should of quoted someone there). Yes it does take TIME and PATIENCE, but when you get the ball rolling you get more into it. You get excited, and it doesn’t become like a chore any more. You relearn eating habits that become your lifestyle. You feel good in every aspect of your life. You finally feel like you can breathe.

Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to live HAPPIER and HEALTHIER?????

You guys have no idea what you are doing to your bodies by NOT doing something (EXERCISE/ EAT RIGHT!!)

I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite or a  health maniac but maybe it’ll take someone close to you endure something as scary as a stroke, or learn they have diabetes, to understand how dangerous all the stuff we are consuming on a daily basis actually is!

Open your eyes people, that and put down the fucking mcdonalds garbage (except the cinnamelts eat those as much as you want).. jk lol.

or don’t. and do what you wanna do, because thats what you’ve always done. but told look for sympathy, expect an I told you so.

You guys need to be aware. Forget vanity, looking good is just an added bonus. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!

Actually fuck it. The more I think about it. Do what you want. I smoked for 2 years because I wanted too, that and I actually enjoyed smoking the cigeratte FUCK LUNG CANCER! I was anorexic for 2 years because I wanted to be skinny.FUCK OSTEOPOROSIS! I then puked for a few years FUCK AMENORRHEA! hurting myself even more. Then I moved onto binge eating and doing considerable damage to my body. Then I shaped up and stopped being fucking stupid.

But honestly, that was my route. Do as you please. Inject your steroids. Smoke crack. The older you get your looks fade, the older you get your health fades. In the end were all fucked. So keep blacking out on the weekends and doing stupid shit. To each their own.

Thank God you’re reading my blog. 😉

655pm I’m talking to a kid i don’t want to talk too and a guy that broke my heart (and was “the reason” I went on the worst binge of my life) texted me for the first time in months… awkward.. **** ACTUALLY*** THis is the reason my title is the way it is. FUCK THESE GUYS WHO THINK THEY CAN MANIPULATE YOU!!. Low self esteem can be easily taken advantage of. I will stand strong in my relationships with people, and more importantly the relationship I have with food. fuck that shit. seriously. and to all the dumbasses that are with significant others and are unhappy WTFFFFFFF?!?!?!?!??! Actually fuck that.. thats a whole nother blog. Def not now. My eyelids are closing and I have to go watch a movie in an hour.

Not worth mentioning in detail any person mentioned above. lol

Just ate my steak and sweet potatoes will be posting a pic obviously lol because it looked sooo good.. finishing up, actually Ill just post it before I go to the movies.

Project X and Im getting a huge ass diet coke. UHHHHHHHHH can’t fucking wait. Ill miss not getting popcorn though. I do remember hiding chicken and tuna in my bag when I was doing my show last year lol.. That was always awkward. Tuna really doesn’t smell sometimes.

Ok okokok. SO i didn’t cook any of my food, except more steak. so tomorrow Im going to have to bring broccoli or starve all day. I will make the meatballs tomorrow. MAYBEEEEE make the pizookie when I get home (probably NOT), that or make it before leg day not Tuesday. Anywho.. Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I was a lazy ass as usual. Seriously I’m going to church with or without her next week.

and because Im doing back tomorrow ..

Goodnight ❤

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Day 27 randomly ranting

***** Sorry for the random posts! WP is going crazy on me, and is publishing things I don’t want to be published yet. My apologies!!!! This blog isn’t done yet…………..

Guys, if you want big legs you have got to squat. Girls, if you wanta shelf like, bangin’ ass you have got to squat. For the first few years of your training you should squat, squat and squat some more. Everyone’s goal should be to squat double bodyweight, at least. And I’m talking about real, full squats, at least to parallel.

Can you tell its Leg day today?

Should be after I ate 6 cookies last night. wtf? then my mom came in my room and asked if I had taken them, and I said yes. She asked what I did with them I said throw them out. I lied. She knew. She then saw the box on the end of the bed. UGH. I asked her, Im like WHAT ARE U TRYING TO DO MOM>>!>>!?!?!?

She said I need to figure out why Im doing this. and QUITE frankly. its BECAUSE I FUCKING SMOKE POT. THAT and because I was bored and have my period. I don’t know what else to say. I Had a perfectly fine day… I ate good all day. So I dk exactly what was a trigger, but the more that I think about it and try to solve it the more that it feels like a problem to me.

and I don’t want it to be a problem anymore.

I want to get past it. So thats what I plan on fucking doing.

So I will accept the fact that I ate 6 cookies last night and I will move on today without a care in the world.
I will also NOT do extra cardio to make up for the extra calories.
Iwilllovemyselfevenwhenidontwanttoo.

(Besides I did go a whole month without a cheat meal, usually id get 4 a month, lol but enough with the validation).

939am heading down stairs to make a meal. don’t know what though. Gonna hit legs at about noon.

1047am Had the last of my myofusion protein powder with super blend and coconut milk (a wonderful item I got at WF last night). I got my chicken breasts, coconut and almond milk. Edamame. Flaxseed Chips (pizza flavor), Kale Chips (DIS FUCKING GUSTING), and these 8 fucking dollar cookies that AGAIN TASTED AWFUL. ol. well 😦

and then I sat and talked with my mom for a little bit regarding addiction.

You can be addicted to ANYTHING, and its a a scary fucking thought. Some of us don’t even know it. I am trying to regain my life back everyday, and be stronger. I want my relationship with God stronger. I want to FINALLY live my life for me.

Randomly Ranting.

Getting pumped for the gym. Not so much deadlifts, because they hurt so bad (now that I’m finally going heavier!!!).. haha but Ill manage.

L I F T B I G !

12pm Hit legs HARD. Started with deadlift 12 12 10 8 6/ 50lbs 60lbs 70lbs 90lbs + bar

Resting was 10 bw squats in place.

35lb dumbbells 100 lunges

Lying down ham curl maxed OUT AT 50lbs lmao.

Then went and did 5 minutes of planks.

I was SHAKING after. Not to mention some girl at the front desk (who is always super pissed at me because I forget my key tag E V E R Y time.) well I didn’t have it again today 😦 but she asked me if I wanted to go to Sound Bar tonight lol.. why is it that everyone wants to go downtown tonight? Literally had 5 people ask me too?????

Was suppose to go see Nikki at World of Wheels but I didn’t wanna rush anything today so whatever.

115pm Chicken breast 1/2c rice and some 2% cheese.

(my cheat on the weekends are I am allowed to use cheese, condiments, and eat “more” carbs. Some people eat more PB, some actually go out and have a huge calorie/fat meal. Which is OK! it throws off your metabolism and makes it work harder). I choose not to do this anymore, or this time around because I can’t control my cheat meals. My cheat meal turns into a cheat day, so I will RESOLVE the issue, and continue to eat WHOLE foods through out this contest prep.

2pm I just finished a salt bath/bubble bath. I usually don’t take baths bc you just see yourself lying there all fat and shit. So I just take showers mostly. But to be honest, I am not THAT bad. I am white as fuck (tan skin always makes u look better), but def in good shape for being 10 weeks out 🙂 2 and 1/2 months. I could change lives in that amount of time. No reason I can’t do it myself :):):):):):):):)

In 4 days it will be 2 months since I quit smoking. WHATTTTT UPPPPP!!!! (stoked as fuck).

haha in about an hour or 2 I am going to start cooking. For todays MENU haha

Jamie Easons Turkey Meatballs
Black bean brownies
A pumpkinPizookie and
sweet potatoe fries. 🙂 YUM.

630pm Just ate the yummiest food ever.. okay so remember how my cheat meals consist of good eating? Well I wanted corn.. IVE BEEN HAVING WEIRD CRAVINGS FOR CORN! and so I got these single packs. So I heated one up, got some broccoli and my blackened chicken from Whole Foods and some lite sour cream and it was fucking delish. Like. really really good.

OH and I did have a weird craving for cookie and cream ice-cream and then I passed by Culvers and the flavor of the day is cookie dough craving.. are you fucking serious?

The one before that? Oreo

and before that? Chocolate covered strawberry

I am just assuming that since these are all of my fave, that the flavor of the day will be campfire smores. Ill be so fucking pissed.

Anywho, I’m staying in today. LIKE USUAL.. lol ill start going out later, but for now I enjoy my family/fitness lifestyle right now. It makes me happy. In the summer I will be better with the whole going out thing.

In a week or two my second class starts. Hmmmm SO Mon and Wed I have class. SO those are my two days off, (besides when I need to do my cardio in the am on an empty stomach) so that means I can miss any day because of OH IM TOO TIRED BLAHBLAHBLAH.\

Actually now that I graphed that out I may not need to have another day off. I just wouldn’t do cardio and still get a 45 min leg work in.. but its still possible. It just all depends on how my legs and butt come in.

And about the whole baking thing.. I don’t know about that. it is only 7pm, but I don’t know if Im going to fill up for it.. Maybe just the black bean brownies (because I am craving something chocolate no thanks to my lady friend), and save the rest for tomorrow, show Justina how to eat healthy lol.

so that means I should clean my room before I go to bed.

Church Tomorrow.. so church taxes workout – chill. haha ❤

So all I do is surf fitness related articles websites blogs, everything.. well I was looking over for a picture to put above and stumbled on lift big eat big (the sweatshirt I’ve posted before), and found it quite interesting. although I haven’t done their workouts, i wouldn’t mind trying.

The only reason I never did cross fit or any other designed program was bc when something was supersetted, I would literally have to either run across the gym to do so, or it was impossible because of the people, Id just get frustrated (yes my excuse) but Id gonna spend some more time on this site. Im always telling eric (who told me about it years ago) that I wanna do cross fit ( I would love to do the cross fit games actually) but I never do. Ugh.. maybe thats a goal for me, like add it to my bucket list. lol.

25 Tell-Tale Signs That You Lift Big & Eat Big

This post is dedicated to all the members of the Lift Big Eat Big club.
1.Your waist may be the same size it was in high school, but you still wear 2 pant sizes bigger so your ass will fit.
2. People never ask when you will be finished with the squat rack because they don’t want to be on the receiving end of your cobra death glare.
3. Going back for seconds is not a privilege, it’s a duty.
4.Over 75% of your Facebook friends are either shirtless or have weights in their hands. The other 25% are just family members.
5. You know squat.
6. The meal is not over when you are full, the meal is over when you hate yourself.
7. A fridge full of milk and meat should last you until the end of the week.
8. Your eye twitches every time you see a set of half-squats.
9. You spend each night refreshing your gym’s homepage, waiting to see tomorrow’s workout.
10. You keep an extra stick of deodorant on hand in case of a surprise outbreak of the meat sweats.
How I look heading into the 6AM class.
11. If you had a nickel for every time you explain that firming and toning is BS, you could retire.
12.You can walk into large groups of people on the sidewalk and they will always get out of your way.
13. No, it’s not like Zumba or P90X.
14. After a day of heavy 5×5, walking down stairs is the hardest task imaginable.
15. You enjoy blacking out as runners tell you about how great their endorphin high was.
16. You don’t need to go to go to the doctor, because squats and fish oil can cure every ailment.
17. You spend more time at work reading training logs than actually working.
18. You are happy when your butt looks big in those jeans.
19. The recession doesn’t worry you nearly as much as when your new shirt is coming in the mail.
20. Being called “skinny” is offensive.
21. Have some pain? There is a MOBWOD for that.
22. Yes fat is good for you, and you make sure that everyone knows it.
23. Males shy away from the squat rack when you warm up with their max.
24. Every shirt you own has a gym logo or workout reference on it.
25. You base others self worth on their TOTAL score.

I’ve been called a meat head before, and I took it as a compliment until I realized it means idiot. L M F A O.
Funny part is< i don’t think he knew what it meant either, and maybe he did but he wasn’t the type too make fun of me.. but I suppose its true now. hahahahha ohhhhh man. . But this is dope. Im just glad that people are into lifting as much as I am. I really would love to go pro. I think that should be on my bucket list too. I don’t see why I wouldn’t lol. The more the do it, the more my name will get out there and Im sure I wouldn’t step on stage if I looked like shit. Regardless its a GREAT time. I always get so nervous, but this is truly something I thought Id never be able to do. :):)

Makes me happy, knowing that I achieved something I never thought I would. and here I go again right? lol I really want a sexy suit though. I still haven’t really decided. I don’t want jennifers white one because I will ruin it with the tan, and the coral one won’t be ready. (btw never said anything but she asked to follow me on instagram haha!), so now I will keep searching till I see one that catches my eye. It will DEF have chains on the sides though.. OK ok pointless blogging..

I am going to see if this posts tomorrow at midnight, 12:01 actually, because thats what it is set for. But apparently it already posted…. bc WP was being all weird, but well see if that works.

AND BECAUSE of the OLYMPIA, that I didn’t go too :(:( But here is a beautiful 40 year old PRO! She is beautiful.

Cheryl Brown

Goodnight ❤

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,