Tag Archives: PB2

My Burden is Easing.

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she’s running from wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found
And life all around
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above, my burden is easing

I am almost ready to get back in the gym again. I am stocking up on all my lovely products (Quest Bar, Myofusion, and Dymatize Protein Powders..Still have to get Nuts n’ more and PB2). It is super nice not worrying about morning cardio or your meals every 2 or 3 hours on the hour.. (yes I will continue to eating hourly but these last few days Ive just focused on when I am hungry.. which hasn’t been often because I feel like I am permanently bloated from the last few days of cheats haha)..
  1. Progress Pictures WILL be up shortly.. I just wanted to find a cool way of doing it but that was a fail and now I am just using an excuse to validate my procrastination.
  2. Recipes/ Workouts/ Food Log will be posted like prior format Monday (21st).
  3. I want my pinterest account shown on my homepage.. possible?
How do I feel? I feel fat. I have eaten whatever I wanted for the last 3 and 1/2 days and I just feel it weighing me down. I have taken this week and actually have been really enjoying myself. I have 3 months till my birthday and I want to look PROUD. Yes, proud. It took 3 months for me to get where I am now and I just know that the next 3 months in the gym are going to be SICK.. haha.. I don’t think you understand how excited I am for life to be in the happy lane.. .lol. I am a dork (I actually hate this word.. and I seem to get called it a lot….. not to mention a dork is a whale’s penis but its like so.. innocent.. not innocent but geeky? lol).. whatever.. but in all honestly I am ready to live life happy is all I meant by that weird ass sentence..
But yes this week I have been super relaxed and completely stress free. Yes I still obsess about the fact that I now “jiggle” lmfao.. but I am embracing it. Everyone knows what I’ve been through and have been SUPER cool about everything and by everything I mean about me binging.. IN PUBLIC!! hahahahaha no joke. This is super unhealthy by the way, but I was literally forcing food in me. Not even just unhealthy but rather disgusting lol. But its been fun (and super uncomfortable). I have been to some really cool places and have had a smile on my face since this past weekend. It’s lovely 🙂
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT all this food and every last minute of the sugar high and prego bloat is NOT worth looking in the mirror and LOVING what you see when you stand there naked. No joke. It may or may not mean a lot to you guys, and that’s most likely because you have never actually been completely satisfied, but it changes things. (Not to forget that busting ass in the gym is rewarding yes, but most of the time it SUCKS and it’s PAINFUL and it takes what seems like a really fucking LONG TIME to show sings of progress!!!) The confidence and security you gain is magical. I have been fighting for YEARS, and I can’t say I won or found some cure but I found happiness. There are still so many aspects of my life I want to change but loving myself was first.
&& Thank you everyone for the sweet sweettttt comments.  I get super cheesy and emotional ALL the time, but I’ll say it again.. I appreciate everyone who takes their time to read what I blatantly don’t proofread or filter out and still find a positive message within.. and comment with a compliment. I smile so much when I see my email filled with people who found some sort of peace when reading my rants. I really do want to extend my hand and offer anyone help in anyway that I possibly can.. please feel free to email me at anytime:

eyesquat@gmail.com

We’ll all get there one day. Faith my friends.
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Day 16 Eat Clean Train Dirty

I try to start every day with a motivational quote or something positive, but today since the weather was something other then dry, people decide to drive like they have never driven before. Some of you my friends, should NOT have a drivers license.

^ a LOT nicer then what I put on my facebook.. lol but I’ve cooled off. R O A D R A G E.

and then I found this quote..

“The only disability in life is a bad attitude.”

&& and I couldn’t say it better myself. I just have to remind myself to be positive every time I get stressed out. Speaking of being stressed out….

.. my jeans size 7 (YES……I’m telling you my ass is HUGE.. ok and I’m a lil chunky) but they fit…. yeah.. but my size 8’s from YESTERDAY  didn’t and PISSED me off.. oh alright.

830am Finished Myofusion PB2 Flax & Fiber Shake.

1230pm still haven’t eaten and I’M STARVING.

Speaking of training…. I don’t know if I should keep doing legs 2x a week lol.. but I’ll stick with it for now.. CAN’T FUCKING WAIT. Leg day hurts like a bitch, but it’s so worth it.

Exercises you SHOULDN’T do.


Lat Pull-down Behind the Head

The problem: Only people with very mobile shoulder joints can keep their spines straight enough to do this exercise properly. So the move — done wrong — can lead to shoulder impingement or worse, a tear in the rotator cuff. And if the bar hits the back of the neck, it could injure cervical vertebrae.

Upright Row

The problem: Pulling weights, a barbell, or a weighted cabled bar up under your chin is a big no-no because it can compress the nerves in the shoulder area, impinging the shoulder.

Leg Press with Poor Knee Position

From a reclining position, you push the plate up and bring it down in this common exercise to work the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes. The problem comes when you bend your legs too far — past a 90-degree angle — which can hurt your back and knees.

Squats on the Smith Machine

The problem: The bar on the machine doesn’t give, which can force the body into risky positions. Plus, people tend to put their feet farther in front of their bodies when doing squats on the machine, which makes matters worse.

Bad Form on Cardio Machines

The problem: Hunching over or using a death-grip on the handrail cheats your body and can throw off your alignment, jarring your spine, shoulders, and elbows.

Always Lifting with a Weight Belt

The problem: Too many people wear weight belts too often. Unless you have a back injury or other medical reason — or are lifting a lot of weight — the weight belt may let your core muscles slack off. And you need your core muscles all the time in everyday life.

The solution: Back off the weight belt unless it’s necessary.

Exercising in the Wrong Shoes

Even if you’re doing everything else right, your efforts can be undermined by improper footwear. Working out with the wrong shoes increases pounding on the joints, and can lead to injuries like plantar fasciitis or tendonitis.

Wedmd.

Oh man. I am going to have to figure out a new way to do squats AND upright row.. 2 of my fave exercises. Seriously? I am going to have to do more research.  Speaking of research my test study guide is sure as SHIT not on blackboard like he says it is. WTF and my test is tomorrow. Even though I’m 50% sure I’ll be fine lol (I have tonight!)

MY LARA BARS CAME IN!!!

I’m excited because I get to try a new one every day (I already ate the PB one- AH MAZING) but I really am nervous, they taste so good and I was craving one after I JUST HAD ONE!…  but I think I’ll be okay. Even if I did have another one I’m doing legs today and I barely ate (BAD DO NOT TAKE AFTER ME!)…  Can’t wait to make a s hake when I get home.  But so far so good (knock on wood), I haven’t really had any cravings.

I love the fact that a light switch finally turned on after all this time and I am finally myself again. I do know that I couldn’t do it with out the big man upstairs. I have gotten extremely closer to him the last few years and this year I seem to have found peace, and let me tell you, it is an amazing feeling.

It’s 545pm Taking Marley out and then making food. I am so hungry its not even funny. relaxing a bit then hitting legs hard today. I’m going to focus on squats and lunges today, end with leg extensions and obviously can’t forget calves.

Sorry today was boring. I have to finish up studying so I have no recipe to make or news to share. I do want to do a before and afters sometimes soon. I will have to collect my pics from last years comp and put them side to side. Progress pics are always fun to look at except when you look in the mirror after seeing your abs once look like this:

Post NPC Bikini Comp (literally day after). Usually people will either be “veiny” or bloated because of what you “normally” do after a show (BINGE LIKE A CRAZY BIOTCH!) but I actually only had a gatorade I believe. I just stayed up so late and didn’t have a chance to eat. However.. its GREAT motivation because I knew what it took to get there and I am SO much better this time around.

Big reason why? I am single.

No joke.

BUT! I think I am going to save that for a different blog. Being in a relationship and taking up competing can be a very DRAINING thing for relationships. Ive actually heard a lot of stories with loved ones upset with the other regarding training and I find it bullshit. The reasons my exes used were pathetic and I think people should do what they want, otherwise you’re giving yourself away. I strongly believe that, especially regarding weight/fitness. SO DO WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY IN THE END.  There is NO reason you should give up your goals/dreams/ambitions for ANYONE.

HOLY BALLS! LEG WORKOUT WAS OFF THE HOOK!!!!

Walked into the gym (HAMMIES STILL BURNING BTW), saw both smith machines were occupied so I opted for the LEG PRESS. and HOLY SHIT.

Warm up set was 3 x15 at 90lbs then

1×12 140lbs

1×12 180lbs

1×10 230lbs

1×8 270lbs !!!!!!!

270lbs FUCK YES! 

Honestly, I was so proud of myself. I could of done more reps or weight but a dude asked me how long I had left and I felt bad because I was taking longer.. I SHOULDN’T FEEL BAD RIGHT?!?! lol.. but yea.. at first I started with only 30 second breaks in between, then I moved to a minute, then the heavier I got the more time I needed but the sweat was dripping!

I laid low with the calf raise 45lbs with 2×10, Just to catch my breath.

Off to lunges with 40lbs (20lb DB in each hand).

3x 25 

1x bw (body weight).

I honestly was SHAKING.. I finished it off with Leg ext (another fave).

I did 12, 10, 8, 6, 4 starting from 65lbs and went up to 125lbs.

And then I left. And had to wait a little bit before I started driving. It was awesome.

Had a myofusion pb2 protein shake.

Here I am now at 10:45pm.

And here is a sexy girl, because I have to go to “study” and go to sleep now. 😉

 Goodnight ❤

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