Tag Archives: Process

Thinking thoughts on purpose. 

I am learning to give myself permission to become who I was meant to be. Because all this time I’ve been fighting myself, my own true worst enemy. And although the battle is yet to be over, I have found a new strength in me. With having faith and truly believing, THAT is what was key -MC

 …and that came out of no where. I haven’t written something that rhymed in forever. Nor was it meant to.. I was inspired to post so early this morning after I heard the best lesson of my life. It’s the first morning in two weeks that I didn’t need to set an alarm. Around 830am I turned the TV on. What made me click on Joel Osteen, I have no clue, but there was a reason I did. That service was meant for me. I cried majority of the time which was picked up in the background when I recorded the sermon, cute. But I was speechless. The title of this blog is a quote he said that will forever be embedded in me. I cannot live a positive life with a negative mind. There’s just no way around it. 

I am changing and it’s beautiful. 

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Understanding the process.

You will get there when you are meant to get there and not a moment sooner. So relax, breathe, and be patient.

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Monday 29/83 (2/4)

So here is my first progress picture:

photo(1)

I had another one where my stomach was showing but honestly with how my legs looked, I looked WAY too disproportional. So I decided to go with this one.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I have barely done any cardio (in the fear I’d lose my ass) and still eating quiet a few carbs. While I was in bed last night I was playing around on my calender on my phone and setting a few reminders. Adding an hour of cardio in about 2 weeks (currently doing 30 minutes of cardio after my life session), taking out fruit 4 weeks out and so forth.

I have been creeping a couple peoples pictures on instagram and have been actually getting quite nervous. I feel like I am not going to be ready. I shouldn’t even think this because I still have 7 weeks left to go. I just get nervous sometimes. I barely have my abs and my arms are always slacking. The only thing I feel good about is my legs. I do know that once I start taking out a little bit of carbs and my fruit and up cardio that I should start seeing more results, but the clock is ticking!

Either way, I will be happy with my body because it is TEN times better than it was before I started. I just need to keep up the momentum even after I compete. I really don’t see a problem with it either. New things are arising so getting into the gym everyday will NOT be a problem.  Not only that but I honestly haven’t binged once. UGH! I keep wanting to blog about cheating and bingeing and just haven’t gotten around to it. I just think its really important to know that you can have whatever you want as long as it is in moderation. I always feel like shit after I binge and feel so guilty that it turns into a vicious cycle.

Not this time.

I can honestly say I feel so much better regarding my relationship with food. I have found the joy in treating my body to the food that it deserves, not the bullshit cravings I create in my head. Yes it is nice to splurge and eat moms homemade apple crisp (last night..oops!), but one serving was enough to satisfy myself with. Yes, I could of ate the whole pan. Yes, I could of felt guilty and consumed a thousand more calories just because. But I no longer want to. I want to live my life and love the body I was given. I am taking all of this time and putting it into the gym that I actually feel guilty when I “snack”. Now this isn’t right either but you have to understand I am trying to compete here in a few weeks. Anyone just living the healthy lifestyle should not feel guilty because of one or two hershey kisses!

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