Tag Archives: Protein

(insert an awesome title here)!

*Have been trying to post this since last night. So yes, I am well aware today is not in fact sunday..

Sunday Funday! 

and 3 work outs later.. yep. That’s right, 3. I left the boys house around 10am and headed to the LA right by his house. I did 45 minutes of cardio 408 calories burned, 27% from fat. I went home, ate, and chit chatted with the mom. I then went to Round Lake for a full body work out, burning 813 calories, 40% from fat. I then went back home ate again, then went for an hour walk with mom and Marley. That I think burned 477 calories. That was a tough one. The minute I walked out there I started cramping up. Mom said we didn’t have to go the entire time but sometimes you just have to push yourself.

I have been working out a lot lately only having to take a few days off when I go up to Wisconsin for July 4th. Staying till sunday all I will be doing is practically eating and fishing lol. I don’t mind but definitely not a few hundred calorie work out… Planning to do a little run in the morning. Wake up run do some lunges squats.. you know a little cardio made fun. Can’t wait for the pictures to be taken. It is so beautiful I don’t think I’ll mind running one bit!

Yes.. that means I hate running.

Eating A LOT of eggs lately..

Eating A LOT of eggs lately..

Just a few things I have been eating..

GRAPENUTS ARE AMAZING. nuff' said.

GRAPENUTS ARE AMAZING. nuff’ said.

Still paying attention to what I am eating. Someone left a comment and asked if I changed my diet when I messed my shiat up… and to be honest if I did I wouldn’t remember enough to explain it. lol.. I just laid off it a bit (work out wise) and massaged the crap out of it. Speaking of which, I need to do more of. I barely stretch and I am ruining my body by not doing so (see below picture). That, or I am going to heavy too quickly. Take this picture I posted on instagram/fb the other day, hoping to get some answers..

photo 2

Do you see that dent in my leg? Apparently it’s from an IT band being too tight. Mostly likely resulting in a pulled/teared muscle. Yep. Lol. I will list the couple of websites that were posted to help explain it. I don’t have it on the other leg and it doesn’t hurt at all. Just.. weird looking. I may of first thought that it was water weight because I had a small indent in the back of my butt a little further down my hamstring. It went away the leaner I got though..

Interesting to say the least..
Last night, I went to the boys and wanted to go to dinner. While he was taking a shower I sat down and wrote my macros out. I was dead on with my carbs, a little lower on the calories but nowhere near the protein amounts. That being said, I knew I wanted a steak :). He threw out Joes Crab Shack and me being a non seafood person, meh but I agreed once I knew they served steaks. So I was excited. However, in the bathroom he was talking with a friend and “made plans” to meet at a pizza place. Now.. I wasn’t upset that he wanted to go with another couple even though I like spending time alone with him, nor was it the pizza place because this was IN FACT one of the pizza joints I am DYING to go.. it was the fact that I knew the majority of shit I’d be eating was carbs. That didn’t make me happy. I NEEDED more protein (I have been counting my macros for the last few days)!! 😦 So of course I practically through a fit because I suck at communication but seriously, don’t mess with me when it comes to food. But honestly, if I wasn’t competing or even thinking about competing I wouldn’t of cared. Could I have just dealt with it and went anyways? probably.. but who am I trying to impress? I don’t NEED to hang out with people (hence why I spend so much time at home) but what I do need to do is appreciate him and do things I sometimes don’t want to do for the sole fact of this relationship.. ugh.. always a work in progress.

MEEEEEEEEEAT!

MEEEEEEEEEAT!

*Sorry babe. I can tell you were some what upset about not hanging out with your friends just to please me. It makes me sad that I feel as selfish as I do. I don’t know. We made a pack tonight that we will work on things and I promise to keep that. But just know I am sorry okay?

So tomorrow gotta be up at 4:15 am to train a client. I will probably stay after my second to do 30 minutes of cardio before I go home. I don’t think I have any more clients till 2 because some of them are going on vacation. That will give me enough time to work out and finish the day around 9. I am leaving Wednesday night after work so getting in as many clients those 3 days as I can. So, I will be extremely tired even more than I normally am. Lucky for me, most of my next few days consist of fishing/ tanning on a boat. Looking forward to it, a little getaway. Hoping to hike this one mountain cliff thing down the street. We always pass it but the last few times we’ve been there to ice fish so obviously I aint doing shit that involves a lot of work outside in the cold. No. thank you. Not for me. Not going to happen. Ice fishing I’m at least sitting in a tent with a heater. I hate the cold. Everything about it :(.

I’ll be taking progress pictures soon (before and after vaca). Way too bloated the last few days so hoping when everything works its way out, I will be happy with what I see. Not saying I’m not. But I will be happy to wake up to my abs again. Working on those suckers too. Normally all I do is planks and I stick with a clean diet. But I want to see them more. Yes get lean but have them defined. Getting stronger though, no doubt. That’s one thing I wanted to talk about but think I should save it for another blog post. It’s in regards to how I want to be viewed by others. Not for the attention, nor would it matter what people had to say because I have heard it all before but it’s something I want people to get out of what I am trying to do.

About a week ago..

About a week ago..

Today 7/1/13

Today 7/1/13

7/1/13

7/1/13

Oh! You would think I should just blab it by now. But I want to put more thought into it unlike I feel like I do with most of these posts. I want this post to be meaningful because its something that gets brought up all the time in my life. How I view myself. A hard question that even right now, I wouldn’t be comfortable answering, but one in which I am working towards each and every day. So stay tuned. Or don’t, whatever ;P

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Tuesday 16/83 (1/23)

First work out back since the weekend and I started with Arms (biceps and triceps).. I was actually feeling a little sore after a few sets.

Seated Bicep Curls (25lbs each) super setted with standing hammer curls till failure (15lbs each).

Tricep Pushdowns (increased weight, ending at 70lbs)

Abs for 5 sets

Preacher Curls (actually loved these)

& ended with Weighted Tricep Dips

I also did 15 minutes of the stairs but have been thinking about dropping cardio in half like I did today, or completely taking it out for a few weeks. I have been dropping weight but I still have quite a bit of time and don’t want to risk losing my ass (I honestly think its gotten smaller). I think if I decided to do cardio I can only do the stairs (which sucks because the stairs are getting harder). Later on down the road I might add in a little cycling but I will know in a couple weeks.

Food wise I am still consuming a lot of carbs. I want to keep as much muscle as possible (again, PLEASE DON’T BE SCARED OF CARBS!!!!! It’s processed, sugar added foods you should worry about).

My diet right now consists of Oatmeal (in my protein shakes), Brown Rice and Brown Rice Pasta (and some whole wheat bread here and there).
Ground Turkey, Chicken, some Red Meat and Protein shakes.
All sorts of veggies but have been consuming broccoli for the most part.
Strawberries Bananas Oranges.
Almonds, Coconut and Flaxseed (for fats).

In about a month, I will take my carbs down a bit and some of the fruit I have been eating (fruit = sugar). In that time I will also up my cardio when it is due.

So far, so good (knock on wood).

Will post progress pictures up soon.

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Carbohydrates.

So instead of my rants and raves I’ve decided to actually write something worth reading.. something a lot of people are wondering about.. something a lot of people don’t understand. Carbohydrates.

The reason for this post was because of last nights creep session. I was scrolling thru my instagram feed and saw a post a girl wrote and in the comments she wrote about how she stops eating carbs after 3pm and to stay away from bananas. Now.. let one thing be clear, we are ALL different and so are our bodies. So yes, what may be good for me may not be good for you. With that being said, all I want to do is enlighten one regarding carbohydrates.

A few years ago when I started personal training, I instantly began to research and ask questions. Everything from a training routine to different diets. Obviously Google is one of my best friends, but everything you read on the internet isn’t always entirely true and can be very misleading. However, any information was better than no information. So I took to researching, writing and printing all the information I found that would be useful. At this point I started training for my first bikini contest. I decided to do it on my own with no trainer like they suggest. I figured I had this shit down. Little did I know.. that I knew very little.

The closer I got to the show, the less foods I was “told” to consume. Carrots, for example, became off-limits and I started forming really bad habits. I barely ate carbs and consumed about double the recommended protein for my body weight. I worked out 6 days a week and was up to 90 minutes of cardio everyday. I was moody, tired, and my work outs began slacking. I was always used to forbidding food (I was anorexic at one time, turned into bulimia and then binge eating after my first competition), so categorizing foods as good and bad was nothing new.

It wasn’t until my second contest prep where I sought the help of a new found figure competitor at the gym I was working at. She tried explaining that in order to “grow” I needed these good carbs. Good Carbs? There is such a thing? Yes, yes there is.

Don’t be misled by fad diets that make blanket pronouncements on the dangers of carbohydrates. They provide the body with fuel it needs for physical activity and for proper organ function, and they are an important part of a healthy diet. But some kinds of carbohydrates are far better than others.

Choose the best sources of carbohydrates—whole grains (the less processed, the better), vegetables, fruits and beans—since they promote good health by delivering vitamins, minerals, fiber, and a host of important phytonutrients.  Skip the easily digested refined carbohydrates from refined grains—white bread, white rice, and the like— as well as pastries, sugared sodas, and other highly processed foods, since these may contribute to weight gain, interfere with weight loss, and promote diabetes and heart disease.

Not all carbohydrates are created equal and there is a glycemic index (please google) for that:

The glycemic index, or glycaemic index, (GI) provides a measure of how quickly blood sugar levels (i.e. levels of glucose in the blood) rise after eating a particular type of food. The effects that different foods have on blood sugar levels vary considerably. The glycemic index estimates how much each gram of available carbohydrate (total carbohydrate minus fiber) in a food raises a person’s blood glucose level following consumption of the food, relative to consumption of pure glucose.[1] Glucose has a glycemic index of 100.

Now, I don’t want to confuse anyone. I know it can get that way at times, but I HIGHLY suggest you do your research. Again, what may work for you may not work for another. The reason I really wanted to get this out there is because I was misinformed. I stopped eating carbohydrates altogether. I labeled CARROTS as a BAD food for goodness sakes! You live and learn but I also learned the hard way.

As your primary fuel source, carbohydrates are important to your body. If you hope to perform to your potential during athletic activity, you must adjust your carb intake to match your energy output — too many carbs can lead to fat gain, and too few carbs can leave you sluggish and fatigued. That said, it is important to gradually self-adjust until you find the amount that works best for you and your workout.

So don’t go crazy.. EAT the GOOD carbohydrates. It’s the “bad” ones that you need to stay away from. The ones that are heavily processed and full of sugar. THAT’S what you should be “scared” of. Not bananas because their high in sugar (yes bananas are one of the highest sugar/carb count but they are FULL of nutrients). I would never completely take out a wholesome food from my diet. Instead, I know that eating a banana early in the morning gives me the best chance to be able to use its nutrients instead of being stored as “fat” (sugar IS sugar), or after a workout where my body will utilize it. It is all about understanding foods not giving up on them.

Here is a great article from live strong that I will leave you with:

Some popular diets such as the Atkins diet demonize carbohydrates, claiming that eating carbohydrates leads to weight gain. The Merck manual says carbohydrates are a very important part of a person’s diet because they provide energy to the body. While some carbohydrates are very healthy, others may, in fact, lead to weight gain. It is important to understand the distinction between refined carbohydrates and unrefined carbohydrates.

Refined and Unrefined

The Merck manual explains that refined carbohydrates are highly processed. The fiber and many nutrients in refined carbohydrates have been stripped out. Refined carbohydrates–such as white bread, cake and candy–are essentially empty calories, which may lead to excess weight gain. Unrefined carbohydrates–such as brown rice, fruits and vegetables–contain fiber and many vitamins and minerals. They tend to stabilize blood sugar levels and promote a healthy weight.

Whole Grains

Whole grains include 100 percent whole wheat bread, whole grain barley, brown rice, buckwheat, bulgur, quinoa, oats and corn. The National Institutes of Health recommends that 40 percent to 60 percent of a person’s diet come from carbohydrates, mostly unrefined carbohydrates containing whole grains. Whole grains include all three parts of the grain: the bran, endosperm and germ. Each part has distinct nutritional benefits.

Fruits

Fruits such as bananas, apples and berries are simple carbohydrates in that they are digested fairly quickly by the body. Fruits are unrefined, though, so they contain many important nutrients. Fruits are considered to be a good carbohydrate because they are packed with vitamins and minerals and have fiber to help you feel full.

Legumes

Beans, lentils, dried peas and peanuts are all examples of legumes, which are good carbohydrates according to the Merck manual because they contain protein to help you feel full. They are also full of fiber and rich in vitamins and minerals. The many nutritional benefits and the fact that they are unrefined make legumes a healthy carbohydrate choice.

Bad Carbohydrates

The category of white carbohydrates encompasses many different foods such as white bread, white rice and white pasta. These foods are considered to be bad carbohydrates, which should be limited in a healthy diet. The National Institutes of Health says refined carbohydrates such as white bread and white rice may increase the risk of diabetes and lead to weight gain.

Sugar

Any foods that contain sugar–such as candy, chocolates, cake, muffins and cookies–are refined carbohydrates. These foods are bad carbohydrates that should be limited because they have no nutritional value whatsoever. They provide empty calories, and the National Institutes of Health says empty calories from refined carbohydrates may lead to obesity.

Eat to live, don’t live to eat. Enjoy eating healthy, google recipes, eat wholesome foods and get moving and I promise your life can change. It’s hard at first but is so worth it. Just educate yourself don’t just listen to someone because their in “great shape”. Trust me, starving yourself will make you lose weight but is far from healthy.
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No negative nancy over here.. finally.

So with all my depressing posts lately I figured I’d switch it up a bit.. Things are going well (besides all my bullshit drama I create for myself) for a change.

My progress at the gym is getting better and better. Probably because the more leaner I get the easier it is for me to stay motivated. I had a long talk with my IG friend Jenna about getting upset when were working out when we feel disgusted with ourselves. I cant tell you how many times I have walked out of the gym, how many times I’ve cried at the leg press or how often I looked in the mirror and instantly became depressed and ruined my my motivation to continue. I’m not exaggerating either.. I have stopped mid set and walked out because my legs looked huge or my pants were too tight and my “muffin top” was noticeable. Then when anxiety sets in it becomes a nightmare and  may or may not turn into a binge that day, but it sure affects my attitude and my self worth. It’s a sad cycle to live, trust me.

However I think I’m over that phase right now ( I say right now because I have been doing this for the last 4 years) because I’m starting to see my progress. My legs are thinning out and I can feel my abs stubbornly trying to show. I have been eating pretty clean but allow myself to steal a french fry from my boyfriends plate or eat a serving of sorbet every now and then just to enjoy this whole process. I’m a sugar fein so giving myself a treat here and there is always nice. ( Speaking of being a sugar fein I allow all types of fruit in my diet I will only cut it out when I’m training for a show. Fruits can have a high carb count and be loaded with sugar but when I get crazy with working out anything whole natural and organic are all allowed).

gf

I posted this picture yesterday on my other accounts and have been asked what my routine is.. So lets take a gander.. Lately I have been doing full body workouts however, I usually split it up by each body part training legs twice (a separate day for quads and another for hamstrings) but the thing that does stay the same is how I lift. I don’t train with a spotter but I try to lift as heavy as I can all the time unless I am super setting to exhaust my muscles (ie doing DB Bicep curls then taking a BB half the weight and knocking out as many reps as I can till failure).

photo 5

I do about 200 weighted lunges a week (again I train legs twice a week so each session I do 5×20 lunges). I squat a lot and as heavy as I can (front squat sumo squat errrythangg). I also use BW squats and lunges as my active testing. Meaning in between reps I’ll knock out 20 body weight squats. I don’t have a rep or set scheme I tend to get unmotivated if I have a goal of 10 and I can’t reach it so I usually always go to failure. If the reps become too easy I up the weight

For cardio I spin (bike) the stair master (don’t hold on!!!!!) and always an incline on the treadmill. Cardio times always change depending on my mood and how hungry and cranky I am however I don’t do less than 30 min (unless I’m super uncomfortable). During contest prep it’ll range from 30min to 2 hours (spilt up into 2 sessions of course).

My “diet”:

My eating is pretty basic. I eat anything whole, natural and unprocessed.

Carbs: Brown rice oatmeal sweet potatoes regular potatoes whole wheat pastas and Ezekiel bread.

Protein: Ground turkey ground beef pork chicken. Any kind of protein rather  regardless of its fat content (everything in moderation).

This is what our date night always consists of... MEAT!

This is what our date night always consists of… MEAT!

Any and all veggies and fruit!

Every Morning I have a protein shake with fruit and flaxseed. On Occasion I add 1/2c oatmeal to the mix. It’s easy convenient and usually tastes amazing (I use Dymatize Iso in Chocolate but currently have Gourmet Whey in strawberry banana and its awful). When I get hungry or about 2 1/2 hours later I will snack on either Greek Yogurt (Brown Cow is great and has the least amount of calories compared to Fage. Calories are important but I don’t count them its just why eat something I can consume for 1/2 of the calories and it tastes the same?). I have 100 calorie packs of almonds (because I could eat nuts all damn day), or maybe a serving of applesauce to hold me over. Next is usually a bigger meal around lunch time. It ranges from WW or Brown Rice pasta and ground turkey to Chicken Brown rice and broccoli. I sometimes get creative and make meatballs or something else but these are super simple to make and it is something I fall back on because I actually enjoy both dishes). Post work out I will have another meal containing protein (I don’t focus too much on the carbs here unless its leg day. Otherwise if I’m in the mood or just a little more hungry Ill eat a piece of E. Bread with PB). However when it comes to Post Workout a carb is SUPER important (its what makes you grow!!), as is protein so I’m sure to take in both. If I am up for more than a few hours after that meal I will consume a casein shake (casein protein digests at a relevantly slower rate which is great while you sleep).

fd

Post Workout Smoothie made with greek yogurt instead of protein powder.

Until contest prep I have 1-2 cheat MEALS (NOT DAYS!!!) a week, where I have basically whatever I want for 1 meal. I also eat a lot of nuts (almonds cashews) and peanut butter on occasion. The thing with food is the less processed the better for you. “Dieting” isn’t fun, but changing your lifestyle can be. Granted I don’t eat out at McDonald’s or consume high amounts of bad fat on the daily (lets face it carbs fat and sugar taste like the devil!) but I do enjoy the foods I eat to maintain the body I want. You just have to prepare yourself first mentality. Start with goals and work towards them and get up and move!

Like here.. shes my motivation.

Like here.. shes my motivation.

The hardest part is starting but you have to at one point right? My motivation comes from feeling uncomfortable in clothing which really puts me to tears. Though I have no one to blame but myself it’s a hard pill to swallow. Don’t be ashamed or embarrassed life isn’t as easy as people make it out to be but once you start seeing progress you’ll get more and more excited to be a healthier you. The rewards of being happy with yourself is a prize within itself

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Jamie Eason Recipe.

Lemon Protein Bars.

Ingredients:
Directions:
    1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
    2. Mix oat flour, vanilla whey protein, salt, baking soda and crystal light, in large bowl.
    3. Mix egg whites, Splenda, applesauce and water in a bowl.
    4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix together.
    5. Spray 8×8 glass pyrex dish with non-stick butter spray.
    6. Pour ingredients into dish.
    7. Bake 23 minutes.

Makes 16 squares, 2 squares per serving.

Even though I am a little pessimistic right now, I can’t take it out on my fellow followers.. so here is Jamie Eason’s Lemon Protein Bars. She is amazing in every way! Check out the bodybuilding site for more recipes from her 🙂

http://www.bodybuilding.com

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Quinoa Protein Bars

Yields: 6 bars | serving size: 1 bar | Calories: 376 | Total Fat: 13 g | Saturated Fats: 3 g | Trans Fats: 0 g | Cholesterol: 0 mg |Sodium: 3 mg | Carbohydrates: 63 g | Dietary fiber: 10 g | Sugars: 33 g | Protein: 14 g

www.skinnyms.com

Ingredients

  • 1/3 cup quinoa, pre-rinsed
  • 2/3 cup water
  • 16 whole (pitted) dates, no sugar added
  • 1/2 cup raw almonds with skin
  • 1/3 cup natural crunchy peanut butter (almond butter is an option) or try SunButter, its peanut & gluten free
  • 1/4 cup dark chocolate chips, Enjoy Life brand is gluten free
  • 1 tablespoon honey (optional)

Directions:

NOTE: The fats in our Quinoa Protein Bars are healthy fats primarily from the almonds. The calories are mostly from the dates, which is one of nature’s sweetest foods. You will find only natural, unrefined sugars in this recipe which contains 4 SUPERFOODS–Quinoa, dates, almonds and dark chocolate.

ABOUT CALORIES: If you want to cut calories by half, simply make the bars into 12 -1″ balls and drizzle with chocolate. Only one for half the calories!

Add quinoa and water to a small sauce, cover and bring to a boil, reduce heat to a simmer and cook approximately 15 minutes or until all water has been absorbed. Cool to room temperature and refrigerate at least 2 hours…overnight will work.

Using a food processor, add dates and pulse until they form a ball. Remove dates and place in a medium mixing bowl. Add almonds to the food processor and pulse until finely minced. Be careful not to turn the almonds into mill. Add dates, almonds, peanut butter and cold quinoa to the food processor and pulse until ingredients are well combined. Return ingredients to the mixing bowl, shape into 6 – 2″ x 1″ bars, about 1″ thickness. Place on a dish, refrigerate until chocolate is melted.

In a small saucepan, add chocolate chips and honey…melt over low heat or in a double-boiler. Evenly spread chocolate over the top of each protein bar, return to the refrigerator and allow chocolate to harden. Bars can be stored in an airtight container for several days.

Note: Quinoa Protein Bars are gluten free.

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Tomorrow you said yesterday.

730am Sunday Morning..


Had thoughts about not caring about what I eat today (I am currently on a two week “binge”). I think the reason for this is because I normally start on Mondays, the beginning of the week. Or on an even numbered day. Yes. I had bad OCD when I was in the midst of my eating disordered days. I was an even girl. Volume on the TV was the worst :/ Oh, that and counting my steps. Probably why I ALWAYS look down.. I don’t know nor do I care to go in depth because I am over it 🙂
 
Off topic once again (my ADD lol) I don’t want to. I want to feel sexy again.
 
Now listen, I’m not fat, and I haven’t gained THAT much weight back from a few weeks ago..BUT I am in the uncomfortable stage..which I think I should set limits to (WHICH IS NOT GOOD I MIGHT ADD!). I don’t know my weight and I don’t think I would weigh myself till I KNEW the number would be acceptable..(yes I am starting to sound like I use too)..but honestly bare with me. Before back when I binged, I ate so much and was so uncomfortable bloated that I honestly thought the only thing I could do was puke it up. But I would ALWAYS stop myself. I thought that if I started back with my old tendencies that it would be like when I quit smoking cigs, one day I ONLY HAD A DRAG and I bought a pack the next day (thanks Meredith you asshole!)..but thats what I thought. I thought if I stuck my fingers down my throat that I would fall back to my bulimic days. Which I think I am still suffering from..my acid reflux has never been the same, but the biggest thing is the enamel on my teeth.It is literally stripped (I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I was told I had gum cancer..because I could press on my gums and they’d bleed).
 
Alright I am getting off topic ONCE again. Today is going to be prep day. My sister is leaving for her dads today so I can finally get all organized again. My meals will for the most part be all cooked. Well see how much I even got on my last Whole Foods trip. I am so broke right now it is actually getting a little scary. After the competition, then this damnlawyer shit..it’s all my fault but it sucks. I am literally working for free right now. Fuck anyways.. My personal life is affecting my overall fitness goals and that sucks. I am trying to separate the two, and after my court date I think I am going to definitely make the right changes in order to do so.

The Food Log

8am 1/2 cup greek yogurt with 1 tbs almond butter on a piece of ezekiel bread.
11am PB and J Quest Bar.
2pm- Any protein veggie mix (could have a carb if I'd like).
530pm- Protein and veggie mix.
9pm- Caesin Shake .
Yes I know I posted this and its not the end of the day but it’s sunday and I can control what meals I have and when. This will be my food log for the day. I just wanted to send out the blog before noon, hopefully get more followers asking questions :):)

The Workout

Hack Squat
5 sets total 12,12,10,8,8
Supersetted with
Wall Sits
5 sets total 30-45 seconds each.
Front Squat
50lb start, rep till failure
Superset w/Single Legged Squat
BW 8-10 reps EACH leg
Leg Ext
85lbs ^
 


Staying positive for the next few days to come. Will take it day by day, but I know I'll get there.
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My Burden is Easing.

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she’s running from wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found
And life all around
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above, my burden is easing

I am almost ready to get back in the gym again. I am stocking up on all my lovely products (Quest Bar, Myofusion, and Dymatize Protein Powders..Still have to get Nuts n’ more and PB2). It is super nice not worrying about morning cardio or your meals every 2 or 3 hours on the hour.. (yes I will continue to eating hourly but these last few days Ive just focused on when I am hungry.. which hasn’t been often because I feel like I am permanently bloated from the last few days of cheats haha)..
  1. Progress Pictures WILL be up shortly.. I just wanted to find a cool way of doing it but that was a fail and now I am just using an excuse to validate my procrastination.
  2. Recipes/ Workouts/ Food Log will be posted like prior format Monday (21st).
  3. I want my pinterest account shown on my homepage.. possible?
How do I feel? I feel fat. I have eaten whatever I wanted for the last 3 and 1/2 days and I just feel it weighing me down. I have taken this week and actually have been really enjoying myself. I have 3 months till my birthday and I want to look PROUD. Yes, proud. It took 3 months for me to get where I am now and I just know that the next 3 months in the gym are going to be SICK.. haha.. I don’t think you understand how excited I am for life to be in the happy lane.. .lol. I am a dork (I actually hate this word.. and I seem to get called it a lot….. not to mention a dork is a whale’s penis but its like so.. innocent.. not innocent but geeky? lol).. whatever.. but in all honestly I am ready to live life happy is all I meant by that weird ass sentence..
But yes this week I have been super relaxed and completely stress free. Yes I still obsess about the fact that I now “jiggle” lmfao.. but I am embracing it. Everyone knows what I’ve been through and have been SUPER cool about everything and by everything I mean about me binging.. IN PUBLIC!! hahahahaha no joke. This is super unhealthy by the way, but I was literally forcing food in me. Not even just unhealthy but rather disgusting lol. But its been fun (and super uncomfortable). I have been to some really cool places and have had a smile on my face since this past weekend. It’s lovely 🙂
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT all this food and every last minute of the sugar high and prego bloat is NOT worth looking in the mirror and LOVING what you see when you stand there naked. No joke. It may or may not mean a lot to you guys, and that’s most likely because you have never actually been completely satisfied, but it changes things. (Not to forget that busting ass in the gym is rewarding yes, but most of the time it SUCKS and it’s PAINFUL and it takes what seems like a really fucking LONG TIME to show sings of progress!!!) The confidence and security you gain is magical. I have been fighting for YEARS, and I can’t say I won or found some cure but I found happiness. There are still so many aspects of my life I want to change but loving myself was first.
&& Thank you everyone for the sweet sweettttt comments.  I get super cheesy and emotional ALL the time, but I’ll say it again.. I appreciate everyone who takes their time to read what I blatantly don’t proofread or filter out and still find a positive message within.. and comment with a compliment. I smile so much when I see my email filled with people who found some sort of peace when reading my rants. I really do want to extend my hand and offer anyone help in anyway that I possibly can.. please feel free to email me at anytime:

eyesquat@gmail.com

We’ll all get there one day. Faith my friends.
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Day 81 I want carbs.

“Officially” 2 weeks out.

(“officially” because technically I am 2 weeks out on Saturday, but I won’t be working out or doing much of anything really.. )

How am I feeling?  Like I want to get this all over with so I can finally breathe and think about something other then myself.  Not even that.. I am stalking the SHIT out of people who are competing and currently dieting for shows, and I am continuously comparing myself and that’s the LAST thing anyone should do, competing or not. 2 weeks. I can do this. It’s been over 2 months, and I am bitching about 2 weeks left? I need to get my head out of my ass.

The Food Log/ The Workout..

I ate great all day, a little less then I would of liked in the morning but no big deal. I did “overeat” by eating a piece of chicken and 1/2 a turkey burger but I suppose it was 2 hours after my last feeding, so I’ll leave the validation there.

I didn’t do morning cardio, but I went to the gym with Taylor at 830pm.

We did a little chest, then went and did 4 rounds of jump squats, bosu jumps, and advanced planks.

Then finished with 3 sets of planks, and 60 minutes of cardio.

Day 81 in Pictures..

  1. After the kids went to school, I made breakfast at my bosses house.. (spinach tasted like ass).
  2. I had to fight like hell and fighting like hell made me what I am.
  3. Whole Foods- Second run of the day.. (first trip cost me $25 for lunch), this one was about $52.. Detox tea, lemon, cranberry juices are for the detox in a week… coconut milk (for amazing whipping cream later), and about 3lbs of meat 🙂
  4. Protein Pancake (Just muscleegg and pb2).
  5. 1000 followers on Instagram ❤
  6. Taylors doggie.
  7. My mom grilled for me while I was away burning calories 🙂

So today was a little long, tomorrow will be even longer.. Had to leave at 630am to take my bosses kids to school. Missed cardio in the morning, but I WAS DEAD. and you know what.. I don’t care, obviously my body needed it.. because I would of been up regardless of how unhappy I may be at the time. Anywho did my day to day shit and got home around 630pm because I stopped at Whole Foods to get some meat for my mom to grill while I work out.  I did go to Libertyville Xsport to meet up with Taylor (who is literally going to be my new best friend), got into a little drama* and was in bed by midnight. Then knocked the FUCK out.

* My ex co workers boyfriend went up to Taylor and started a little small talk with her regarding something about tanning (idk I was working out, so I only heard a little bit of the convo).. so while on the treadmill I saw him again, so it reminded me to text her since I haven’t heard from her in awhile.. the convo went a little like this..

Hey, youre boyfriend is at xsport!
Her: Who is this new phone sorry
Marissa
Her: oh hey! which one?
Libertyville
Her: Did he say anything to you?
No to my friend though
Her: Oh being flirty?
no, just something about tanning I dont know..
Her: Oh okay, so how are you……. blahblahblah

Taylor and I were walking out and as we split ways, I see Nicole’s boyfriend sitting on the curb, and as soon as he sees me he comes up to me, IN MY FACE, and starts bitching at me because I’m causing drama and I said that he was flirting with Taylor and all this fucking bullshit. I was like WTF? I was like are you for real right now? Grow the fuck up. I didn’t do or say shit except  hey your boyfriend is at X sport. Told her you didn’t do shit, check her phone you fucking pansy (insert a SHIT ton more foul language).. I was so pissed at this point.. then he says something like “I don’t want to see you back here.” Are you fucking kidding me right now? UNbelieveable. Lmfao.

Yeah, great relationship that must be.

Anywho.. hope everyone stayed true to themselves and their goals today!

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Day 80 Popped Amaranth Peanut Butter Cups (you’ll want to open this)..

Posting this recipe I found on a website for this grain that you can pop. Before I get into the background of this “seed” (which you guys are going to thank me for.. okay well thank whoever posted it.. but still).. I am going to say that I will recap today at a later day.. I usually rush posts when it comes to feelings (because who wants to admit we have those…….. lol).. but this time set me back a little bit (mentally, so ultimately physically).. but I did want to get this recipe out there because this is AWESOME.

Amaranth Seed-

Several species are raised for amaranth “grain” in Asia and the Americas. This should more correctly be termed “pseudograin” (see below). Amaranth grain contains no gluten and is safe to consume for individuals with coeliac disease.

  • Its seeds are a good source of protein. Compared to other grains, amaranth is unusually rich in the essential amino acid lysine.  Common grains such as wheat and corn are comparatively rich in amino acids that amaranth lacks; thus, amaranth and other grains can complement each other.
  • The seeds of Amaranthus species contain about thirty percent more protein than cereals like rice, sorghum and rye. In cooked and edible forms, amaranth is competitive with wheat germ and oats – higher in some nutrients, lower in others.
  • To this day, amaranth grains are toasted much like popcorn and mixed with honey, molasses or chocolate to make a treat called alegría, meaning “joy” in Spanish

Amaranth seed, when properly prepared, may supplement human food. Scientific studies suggest Amaranth grain is a good source of essential amino acid lysine, something other grains are low in. Amaranth is not a complete source of essential amino acids. For example, amaranth is limiting in leucine and threonine – essential amino acids that are abundant in other grains. Amaranth may therefore be a promising supplement to other grains.[15][16] The assimiability of protein in Amaranth is affected by the anti-nutritional factors present in Amaranth, and how it is processed and cooked prior to human consumption. Wet heat processing reduces toxic factors and improves protein availability from Amaranth, while popping and toasting reduces nutritional value of Amaranth.[16] Besides protein, amaranth grain provides a good complimentary source of dietary fiber and dietary minerals such as iron, magnesium, phosphorus, copper, and manganese.

Amaranth seed flour has been evaluated as an additive to wheat flour by food specialists. To determine palatability, different levels of amaranth grain flour were mixed with the wheat flour and baking ingredients (1% salt, 2.5% fat, 1.5% yeast, 10% sugar and 52–74% water), fermented, molded, pan-proved and baked. The baked products were evaluated for loaf volume, moisture content, color, odor, taste and texture. The amaranth containing products were then compared with bread made from 100% wheat flour. The loaf volume decreased by 40% and the moisture content increased from 22 to 42% with increase in amaranth grain flour. The study found that the sensory scores of the taste, odor color and texture decreased with increasing amounts of amaranth. Generally, above 15% amaranth grain flour, there were significant differences in the evaluated sensory qualities and the high amaranth-containing product was found to be of unacceptable palatability to the population sample that evaluated the baked products.

So.. I am SUPER excited to mess around with this grain. Check out this recipe for Peanut Butter Cups:

Popped Amaranth Peanut Butter Cups
adapted from Iowa Girl Eats
yields 12 large cups

Ingredients
1 cup all natural peanut butter {I used crunchy}
2 T butter, melted*
1/2 c powdered sugar*
1/2 c crushed salted roasted peanuts
heaping 1/2 c popped amaranth*
3/4 bag semi-sweet chocolate chips

Method |  Heat oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine peanut butter and butter until smooth. Add in powdered sugar and peanuts, then mix until combined. Pour in popped amaranth and mix again until combined. Next, grease muffin cups with non-stick spray and fill bottom of cups with chocolate chips – it doesn’t have to be exact. Melt in the oven for 5 minutes. Then, with the back of a metal spoon carefully smooth out the top of the chips while they’re still warm. Next, drop generous spoonfuls of the peanut butter mixture into each muffin cup. Smooth tops with the back of a spoon or your fingers and refrigerate for at least 15 minutes before eating. I froze mine so they’d pop out easier with a knife. Store in an airtight container in the fridge to keep fresh.

*Notes:

  • To pop amaranth, place a medium-to-large pot over medium-high heat and let it get fully hot. Then, add small batches {scant 1/4 c} of amaranth, cover the pot, and quickly shimmy the pot back and forth. They’ll start popping almost immediately and as soon as you don’t see anymore popping {about 10-15 seconds total} quickly transfer them to a bowl. These can burn quick so be sure to work fast. Your first batch may not turn out but use it as a practice run to gage how you can pop most efficiently.
  • Melted butter is probably optional if you want to lighten these up. Or you could likely sub melted coconut oil.
  • Powdered sugar could be lessened or even omitted entirely if you want a less sweet cup. Just compensate with extra amaranth.
  • Use non-dairy chocolate chips and Earth Balance to make these vegan.

When done properly it comes out looking like puffed rice cereal, which can then be doused in milk, eaten by the handfuls or added to rich, decadent peanut butter cups. Pretty sweet, right?

I thought so.

The flavor is astonishingly similar to Reese’s PB Cups. If you wanted you could even add another layer of chocolate on top to get them closer to the real thing. But I preferred the peanut butter tops exposed. It gave them a more rustic look and I could taste the saltiness from the peanuts as soon as they hit my mouth.

This entire recipe/blog post was NOT written by me.. nor were the pictures taken by me.. but they looked soooooooo fucking good. I believe it was posted by http://mylittlecelebration.com

Anywho.. enjoy this recipe while I suffer for 2 more weeks..

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