Tag Archives: Sister

Minnesota Trip!

Monday morning: love/hate relationship.

Okay, I can’t really say that I hate Mondays because I tend to binge less come the work week but other than that, Mondays can suck it. Especially because all I want to do is curl up back in my warm bed and pretend that I don’t have to be here till 5pm. Sit in traffic for a total of 90 minutes. Walk Marley till she calms downs all the while trying to stay awake (I am ALWAYS tired), till I get back in my car for an hr and 1/2 work out.

Yes, I know.. my bed shall wait.

Back to Monday, today, beginning of the work week and my 43298056 start to my operation getfit.

My motivation is here though, I feel it. Today I will be one step closer to inner happiness. This monday marks an end to an awesome weekend, but the start to something fabulous. The official start to me becoming happy and healthy 🙂

me @ work all gay like

Here are a few pictures of this weekend. The boyfriend and I took a road trip to MN to visit my sister at school. We left the house around 8pm, a straight shot up 94 which was nice. We hit a few construction zones and a detour but clocked in at the parking garage around 2:30am. As soon as we got into MN and called Hayley to say we were close we had a road block up an entire street. Over 30 squad cars lined the block. Come to find out that there was a bar shooting, good shit. My little sister lives in the ghetto. NBD.

The total trip

Leaving work

Gas Station Photo Op

Bar Shooting

We unpacked and got settled in and was welcomed by a drunk girl passed out on her couch. Oh college life haha. I immediately put my things down and headed to the bathroom. I pull my pants down about 1/2 way and hear a thump. That thump was my iphone falling into the toilet. Yeah, 3am tired as fuck and my iphone falls into the toilet the minute I get into her apartment. Unfuckingreal. I really had to go, so I called my sister into the bathroom asking if she had any rice. Luckily her roommates did so she threw my phone in the box. I pouted for a little while but was in bed no longer than an hour later.

We woke up around noon. My sister had already left so her roommate asked if we wanted her to show us where the shuttle was. We got ready and followed her to the shuttle which was extremely close. We put our things in our car and got the last 2 seats on the shuttle. About 5 minutes later we got dropped off by the stadium. Wasn’t expecting all the tailgaters and vendors out so it was exciting. We met up with my sister but went in by ourselves so we got food while we waited for her to be let in (student council thing).

🙂

Game was actually pretty damn good. I don’t know the final score because we left a little after the 4th quarter started, but MN scored at least 4 touch downs. It was cute seeing my sister all school spirited and shit 🙂 It was nice to see her in general really.

The 3 of us..

A screen shot of us

After the game we went to look for food. BBW had a 45 minute wait so we just walked to her apartment. It wasn’t that far but it was a little chilly outside. She showed us a little of her campus which was pretty nice. Though we did walk a few blocks only to see a shit ton of squad cars again, 2 of which had people in the back. lol.. again.. no big deal.

Got to her apartment, babe sipped on some homemade apple cider alcohol out of an empty salsa jar. Figured out a place to eat and was on our way. We decided to hit up Mall of America because babe has never been. We walked around, he won me a stuff animal I kicked his ass in Big Buck Hunter and then ate at Buffalo Wild Wings.

We dropped my sister off and drove 15 minutes to check into our hotel. We got there around 630pm and didn’t leave haha. My sister invited us to some costume party at the frat houses but I didn’t bring anything acceptable to wear and I obviously hate going out in public as it is. So, we ordered room service and passed out. We did however get up early enough to go to breakfast in the lobby, but then got lazy for a few more hours before checking out around 1230pm. We met back up with my sister, brought her lunch but only stayed for a hug and kiss goodbye.

Room Service at it’s finest 🙂

After what seemed like forever we found a Starbucks. He got his fix and we were on the way. I passed out because well that’s what I do best. We took a detour and stopped at his house in WI to pick up his dog Deuce. Went through the Wisconsin Dells which I enjoyed, passed out for a few more hours and got to his house around 9. I didn’t stay for long, transferred my belongings and was home around 10. Said hello to the madre, went upstairs with Marley and didn’t leave till I had to wake up around 7:45 this morning. 🙂

What another great weekend I had. I love spending time with good people and not worrying about my day to day struggles.

Monday Morning. An end and a beginning all in one.

Now it’s time to get started..

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Day 42 I’m strong because I know what its like to be weak.

10am Got up laid around with Marley for a little bit…. Didn’t eat till about noon.

1230ish Made steak and eggs but gave Marley most of the eggs.. I didn’t care for them at much.. Had a few slices of pineapple as well.

Decided that I could NOT go to the gym until my blog was finished lol. But WordPress is being pretty gay.. said my post was published when people were already commenting on it… and the pictures were suddenly not there any more 😦 so now I feel all fucked up.

Doing Hamstrings/ Glutes today 🙂

120pm Stomach is fucking hurting again. No flax no nothing.. I think it may of been the pineapple.. what the fuck. :(:( not good.

OHHHHHH and forgot! Made tofu brownies last night.. they weren’t bad at all but I really want to make the black bean brownies now.. I have a feeling they might be a WHOLE lot better 🙂

I don’t know where I got this recipe from.. probably from CCK.. but I don’t really know… :/

(Makes 8 brownies)

  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/2 cup ww pastry flour (or white, or you can try spelt or gluten-free)
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1/2 cup sweetener (see link, below, for lower-sugar version)
  • 1.5 oz  soft tofu or mori-nu firm or lite firm (about 1/8 box)
  • 1/3 cup applesauce (use only 1/4 cup if using 3T oil)
  • 1 to 3 T oil (I use coconut oil. Canola is ok too.)
  • 2 T non-dairy milk
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • optional: you can throw in some chocolate chips

Combine dry ingredients, and mix very well. In a blender, combine wet ingredients and blend until smooth. (I use a Magic Bullet cup.) Pour wet over dry and stir, then pour into a 4×6 oiled pan (or double the recipe and use an 8×8). Cook for 12-18 minutes at 325 F. I’m not sure why this is the case, but these brownies seem to taste ten times sweeter if you don’t eat them for at least an hour after they come out of the oven!

My fudgey variation: (Highly recommended!) If you want them extremely fudgey– as in “so gooey you need a fork to eat them”—cook the batter for only 8-10 minutes. Then put the pan in the fridge to cool for at least a few hours.

Went to the gym around 330pm

HAMMMMMIIIEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS DaTTT ASSS!!!!!

Started with

Deadlift

3 sets of 90lbs and then added an outer 20lbs for the last set.

Back EXT

4x10reps 45lbs w 45lb calf raises

Step ups BW with Lunges

3 Sets each 10 each leg for the step up (BW)
3 Sets of 10 each leg (40lb BB)

Planks

5 Minutes total.

Butt Blaster

3 sets of 8 on 40lbs

10min stairmaster

430pm CHIPOTLE!!!!!

Just chillen now.. Really have to study for a test I have Wednesday and need to check what room my new class is because it starts tomorrow :):)

Laundry, and cleaning room. Not to mention my sister left to go back to MN for school last night :/ and we took a cute pic last night 🙂

Suppose to go to see a movie tonight.. but who knows.. I don’t mind staying in I really do want to study its only on chapter 14 and I actually enjoyed that chapter..AND THIS IS THE SECOND FREAKIN TIME IM TAKING PSYCH.

WHY DO ALL THE TEACHERS STINK THAT TEACH PSYCH??? Seriously.. out of ALLLLL fucking people my professor is a sexiest. no THE sexiest.. but against women sexiest and sometimes its ruthless. I literally shake my head sometimes when I sit in that class.. I am just trying to take it week by week with him.. too late to switch and I don’t think I would of anyways.. no big deal…. unless it gets really out of hand then Ill say something but so far its just annoying and I am not the only one whose noticed it… which isn’t good for him but whatever.

6pm– Tried to write my paper. I, right now, have 3 drafts. fml.

830pm-130am I left to go to a movie and didn’t get back till late. Only had a diet coke and some almonds on my way back home.

130-230am Had a tofu brownie and almond butter. Then a handful of flax cookies. lol.

3am Finally fell asleep.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 36 I sat on the pity pot today..

My whole body is sore.. and I have had acid reflux for going on 24 hours.

It started even after my shake when I didn’t even add chia/hemp/flax or fiber, yet I am still hurting.. Hmmm… All there was was pineapple, coconut oil, and whey protein.. hmmmm BUTat 3 in the morning I did wake up and eat part of my pizookie w PB.. that had flax in it I WOKE UP AT 730 THOUGH!

and its 1151 and I still have it.

Ate a piece of flank steak, snacking on edamame. Yawning..

306pm Cried today for the first time in awhile… Felt good and bad all at the same time.. I tried holding them back, but it was like buttons were being pushed every time I thought I had it all under control. It is all work related. I deserve better. I know this but I don’t want the pressure of trying to find another job right now.. Everything happens for a reason, just have to believe in that.

Had some pulled pork earlier, going to eat another piece of steak with some broccoli in 3 min or so.. Don’t even feel like eating 😦 I am just tired and cold and feeling a little down today.. I really just want a nap 😦

Seriously FUCK MY BOSS. HE is the BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE I HAVE EVER MET IN MY LIFE. I honestly do NOT understand how someone is capable of daily hate towards others.

Not even worth talking about anymore its wasted energy.

I haven’t eaten that much today 😦 I am in a weird mood.. Can’t wait to unwind AT THE GYM! haha ❤

Today is going to be shoulders… This weeks schedule is actually going to be as follows :

  • Mon- Shoulders
  • Tues- Quads
  • Wed- Off
  • Thurs- Back
  • Fri- Cardio
  • Sat- Hams
  • Sun- Bi’s Tri’s

Military, Overhead press, front raise, lateral raise, upright rows 🙂
5 Minute Planks
30min Stairmaster.

ITY BITY PITY COMMITTEE

So today at work my boss was making me look like an idiot in front of everyone.. I started getting hot… and I really didn’t know how I was going to handle this situation because I didn’t know how far my boss would go… Well he made me do something one last time and when I got in the back of the shop I starred up into the ceiling and felt the tears just build up.. I really didn’t want to cry… (I actually enjoy crying, you feel so relieved afterwards), because I was still at work, so I tried to keep walking.. but I had to keep pausing… I hadn’t cried in such a long time I think that’s why I couldn’t stop it. So I bent over and had the tears drop onto the ground, trying not to go back looking like a hot mess.. I wanted to pretend it didn’t get to me.. but I regained composure and went back up front.. Words were exchanged and I gave him what he wanted and walked to the furthest bathroom. I sat on the toilet bailed for 30 seconds, realized I was still at work, sat and focused on breathing and waited till I was ready to leave.. Honestly I felt so much better, yes it looked like I was crying but I didn’t have to make much eye contact with anyone the rest of the day… I barely ate, which I think is weird because he has been triggers for me bingeing… any who.. So I did what I had to do and left for the day.. drove home no big deal, got Marley out, took her for a walk and made steak and broccoli. Well 7pm comes around and this is when I am ready to bounce out the door to the gym and my mom watches Marley well as I am getting ready I notice that this bracelet that I bought on Saturday was missing. Completely off board it came on, and the empty part was lying in the same spot my sister found it in… I don’t know why but I FREAKED OUT. I called my sister a fucking bitch all because she claimed to NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!! LITERALLY verbatim!!!! I have the texts, it goes from Idk what your talking about, to asking me if I remember wearing it, she doesn’t know what to tell me, then 20 min later after I told her she lost me as a friend (we have gotten really close, and id do anything for her) because I KNEW she took it and she was LYING in my face, making me feel and go  and even act crazy. I disrespected my mom and my sister for me being upset. I was in a bad mood when I got home.. and then I saw that. I freaked. And not even to mention THIS MORNING, as I was getting ready for work as I moved this bracelet to the spot it was at I thought to myself, how funny if Hayley tried stealing this, since I KNOW its right here.. Literally no joke, no crosses I legit thought this on the way out.. so for her to say, are you sure you didn’t wear it?

Omg. Words could NOT describe. I was BALLLLLLLING. On the FLOOR crying. It was a whole mess… I shut my door and prayed to God for strength, I was hyperventilating. Trying to breathe, hysterically crying and repeating God give me strength wasn’t quite all working lol.. I had to stop speaking and start praying silently till my breathing calmed down..  I felt so so soooo low at this point crying just felt natural, like a relief…. I felt so much better afterwards..

I do take full responsibility for how I reacted today and I am quite embarrassed. I don’t know what got into me..IF you want an example of sitting on the pity pot this is it.

All that was consuming me had to do with how my work sucks and I deserve better and if not at least respect. I am completely broke (had to dip into savings type shit), taxes will NOT go thru, this is the 6th time I sent them in, school called me once, sent to vm, called back, sent to vm, no call back. That’s in regards to financial aid (OR LACK THEREOF!), and how I am broke because of that too.. then my sister tries and makes me go crazy, my mom had an attitude the entire day (am AND pm), then I am bloated as fuck ALL THE TIME!…..

So anyways I balled. Hard. I let it all out. Everyone is on good terms now. I need to do a little soul searching and figure out this mess. I mean I know everyone has their ups and downs but FUCK. There are ways to avoid feeling hopeless.. 😦

So back on track After all the shhhhiiiiaat I needed to hit the gym. WITH MAH NEW SWEATSHIRTTT!!! and after a great meal 🙂

730pm BOULDAH SHOULDAH (boston accent)

Switched things up, started with Smith Machine Chest Press
50lbs x 12reps
50lbs x 12reps
60lbs x 10reps
60lbs x 8reps
70lbs x 4reps <– no idea lol……

Went to do should press, but I WAS SLACKING SO BADLY! I tried to start with 60 lbs so like a 30 DB in each hand and I couldn’t even do it…. That sucked for my ego.. NBD I think I tried to do 2 sets and switched to Upright Rows Supersetted with a Front raise (20lbs BB)

50lbs x 10reps
20lbs x 12reps x 4 sets

then went into the yoga room and did 10 (30)DB swings (like a squat to front raise) then did 10 (ea) lateral raise for 10 reps 3 Sets

then finished with 3 sets of an incline chest press at 50lbs

5 minutes of planks

30 minutes of treadmill no less then 12 incline (max 20) on 2.8-3.0

Went home stopped at Baskin Robbins, grabbed my mom some of her chocolate chip ice cream and headed home. Ate a protein shake (my yuckie strawberry and banana expensive as shit protein with actual strawberries (3) and a 1/2 banana ice and water, didn’t taste that bad actually…

NOWWWWW it is 1204am and I am super tired but I had to write this blog.. I knew I had to finish it so I can post it tomorrow morning… I don’t even know if my point was understood or if I even made one…… Anywho, I need to stop worrying and have no fear..

Where God’s love is, there is no fear. God’s perfect love takes away fear.

=)

Goodnight ❤

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