Tag Archives: Squats

Day 92 – Tuesday 5/8 (Last week).

So it is Tuesday, May 8..

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshal


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oddly the days aren’t flying by like I imagined. It seems like everything has been working out in the smallest ways, therefore making life a LITTLE less stressful.  Granted I just finished a 3 hour exam and have been getting up religiously for morning cardio. The only thing I would say that I am stressing about is losing my ass even more then I have, and getting my period (TMI but I kinda feel it coming. Oh but a little FYI this happened last show too haha).. The only thing that sucks about that is bloating.. and holding water.. this = DISASTER..



Any who.. at this point, it is what it is. My favorite quote, and something I say almost daily to myself. Its a reminder that we cannot change somethings and I do believe that everything happens for a reason (STRONG believer in this).  I am just going to take this as another thing to check off that I accomplished, something that I trained for for months, something I worked damn hard at (and sometimes not so much HAHA)..  This has been a learning experience for me. As most of you may already know I have struggled with body image for quite some time now. I use to follow what everyone else was doing, and doing shit to my body that I would be ashamed of now. I did whatever I could to look good outside, so I could feel good inside. Little did I know, that was the entire battle. A pointless one. One I wouldn’t win unless I stopped fighting AGAINST the one person I was trying to love all along, myself.  I have eaten next to nothing for days, I have also binged more then one would admit too, I have taken numerous amounts of diet pills, yes I have done a lot in the 23 years I have been living. But growing up hating yourself is a full time job and I am sick of it. It makes me feel uncomfortable, ugly, useless, worthless, and then I turn mean. More so because I am sad inside, but because I am upset with myself. I feel like I failed. How can food be controlling my every move?

Because I allowed it.

No more guys. I sit here with my belly rumbling and 1/2 gallon water sitting next to me. These are different conditions. I am on the last week of my 3 month training regimen, about to walk the stage in 6 inch heels and a bikini in front of hundreds of people, and 4 judges about to critique MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No this isn’t for everyone. Trust me.

It is more mentally challenging then it is physically. The first one I trained for I was shocked. The changes your body goes through and how your brain tries to follow along just gets demanding and you’re left confused. You have to have a happy place and I hope that happy place isn’t balls deep in a bag of Doritos. I don’t believe this was a good decision (regarding competing) in each of my situations only because I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t ready mentally or emotionally but I did it because in my mind I needed a “goal”. I needed a time limit so I couldn’t make excuses (how’d that work out for me..). But now after this (which surprisingly I have the best attitude towards it then I ever have), I feel so much stronger. Yes I can lift a lot but I mean inside. I feel like I finally have control. Food is fuel = energy. Use it as such. Yes there is a lot of tasty foods out there and yes I think everything is okay in moderation, but why have copious amounts of fat on your body at all times?

Nothing good comes out of it.. PROVE ME WRONG I DARE YOU!

and if you tell me you don’t give a shit and you just want to enjoy food because it tastes good, fine but I can ONLY imagine what you think when you see yourself naked. Honestly.

Alright followers this is a little update/ inside my mind for ya..

Today’s schedule-

7am 30min Cardio
9-5pm Work
7pm Hair cut
830pm Leg Workout + Cardio
1030pm Sports Nutrition Project
11pm Bed

The Food Log

8am 1/4cup Oatmeal, with a 1/2 scoop protein powder, and 1/2 grapefruit.
1130am 1/2 chicken breast with asparagus
230pm 1/2 chicken breast with asparagus
500pm Brown Rice Tuna Avocado Sushi Roll (4)
800pm Some kind of protein
11pm Brown Rice Tuna Avocado Sushi Roll (4)

Just a few pictures because we know how I love to take them..

  1. What I had yesterday morning for breakfast. Awesome  ya?
  2. My meals and snack for the work hours.
  3. What my fridge looks like (see upside down again.. wtf).

The Work Out

Don’t even know. Having Taylor there should help keep my energy up (since I don’t have any)..
All I really know is we are going to be squatting A LOT.. that and lunging like we’ve never lunged before..

Should I tell her how sore she is going to be? lol.

Final Week Check List (cont)..

  • Finalizing hotel today.
  • Picked up Mac foundation, lip gloss, and eyelashes.
  • Need to buy ice packs for coolers.

Other then that, I don’t really need anything else. Everything will just happen as each day passes.. Like tomorrow might be the only day where I don’t have an appointment somewhere.. I just have my final project due for my nutrition class.. But Thursday I have a late nail appointment and that’s when I will be checking into the hotel.. Only a couple more workouts and then Friday after my tan I will just chill all day probably flexing.


Alright I am going to get back to work and hopefully things continue to stay peachy.

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Day 81 I want carbs.

“Officially” 2 weeks out.

(“officially” because technically I am 2 weeks out on Saturday, but I won’t be working out or doing much of anything really.. )

How am I feeling?  Like I want to get this all over with so I can finally breathe and think about something other then myself.  Not even that.. I am stalking the SHIT out of people who are competing and currently dieting for shows, and I am continuously comparing myself and that’s the LAST thing anyone should do, competing or not. 2 weeks. I can do this. It’s been over 2 months, and I am bitching about 2 weeks left? I need to get my head out of my ass.

The Food Log/ The Workout..

I ate great all day, a little less then I would of liked in the morning but no big deal. I did “overeat” by eating a piece of chicken and 1/2 a turkey burger but I suppose it was 2 hours after my last feeding, so I’ll leave the validation there.

I didn’t do morning cardio, but I went to the gym with Taylor at 830pm.

We did a little chest, then went and did 4 rounds of jump squats, bosu jumps, and advanced planks.

Then finished with 3 sets of planks, and 60 minutes of cardio.

Day 81 in Pictures..

  1. After the kids went to school, I made breakfast at my bosses house.. (spinach tasted like ass).
  2. I had to fight like hell and fighting like hell made me what I am.
  3. Whole Foods- Second run of the day.. (first trip cost me $25 for lunch), this one was about $52.. Detox tea, lemon, cranberry juices are for the detox in a week… coconut milk (for amazing whipping cream later), and about 3lbs of meat 🙂
  4. Protein Pancake (Just muscleegg and pb2).
  5. 1000 followers on Instagram ❤
  6. Taylors doggie.
  7. My mom grilled for me while I was away burning calories 🙂

So today was a little long, tomorrow will be even longer.. Had to leave at 630am to take my bosses kids to school. Missed cardio in the morning, but I WAS DEAD. and you know what.. I don’t care, obviously my body needed it.. because I would of been up regardless of how unhappy I may be at the time. Anywho did my day to day shit and got home around 630pm because I stopped at Whole Foods to get some meat for my mom to grill while I work out.  I did go to Libertyville Xsport to meet up with Taylor (who is literally going to be my new best friend), got into a little drama* and was in bed by midnight. Then knocked the FUCK out.

* My ex co workers boyfriend went up to Taylor and started a little small talk with her regarding something about tanning (idk I was working out, so I only heard a little bit of the convo).. so while on the treadmill I saw him again, so it reminded me to text her since I haven’t heard from her in awhile.. the convo went a little like this..

Hey, youre boyfriend is at xsport!
Her: Who is this new phone sorry
Her: oh hey! which one?
Her: Did he say anything to you?
No to my friend though
Her: Oh being flirty?
no, just something about tanning I dont know..
Her: Oh okay, so how are you……. blahblahblah

Taylor and I were walking out and as we split ways, I see Nicole’s boyfriend sitting on the curb, and as soon as he sees me he comes up to me, IN MY FACE, and starts bitching at me because I’m causing drama and I said that he was flirting with Taylor and all this fucking bullshit. I was like WTF? I was like are you for real right now? Grow the fuck up. I didn’t do or say shit except  hey your boyfriend is at X sport. Told her you didn’t do shit, check her phone you fucking pansy (insert a SHIT ton more foul language).. I was so pissed at this point.. then he says something like “I don’t want to see you back here.” Are you fucking kidding me right now? UNbelieveable. Lmfao.

Yeah, great relationship that must be.

Anywho.. hope everyone stayed true to themselves and their goals today!

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Day 68 Happy Birthday Marley!

Friday the 13th………………… ugh. BUT!

Happy 2nd Birthday to the prettiest little baby ever!!!!


:):):) ❤

Shell get a little birthday party tomorrow ;0

The Food Log

630am Protein Shake (Dymatize, Muscle Egg, Coconut Shreds, Ice).
845am Some Soy Protein shit I found in my bosses house (I was taking his kids to school). lol.
11am 1/2 chicken breast w/ mustard (dude. I love mustard).
1130am 12 Almonds.
2pm Chicken Breast w/ Asparagus.
5-6pm Egg Whites.
9pm Lean Ground Turkey/Onions/Broccoli.

The Work Out

No workout. besides 100 bw squats 50 pushups and my planks. Long story.

Day 68 in Pictures..

  1. Leaving Marley this morning. What a puppy face. Happy Birthday my love ❤
  2. Sorry bad picture (IT WAS DARK and early!!!), my morning protein shake, and lunches.
  3. Drawing at 730am. lol. (Told you I had to take his kids to school).
  4. Nectar Protein, I believe. Soy protein that tastes like shit. I mixed it with a little bit of water and just chugged it. Then tried to find something to take away the taste and couldn’t. So I dealt with it a bit. You do what you gotta do!
  5. Got to work and chilled. Found out I am on the Chive.com… browsed a bit before, but didn’t think it was as big as it is..
  6. Chicken and asparagus!
  7. Just some lovely model, Sara Allen, looking fresh.

My boss left before noon which is AWESOME. Had to drop his kids off at school so I had to be up at like 615am. Decided yesterday that I wasn’t going to do AM cardio because I would be in complete and utter bitch mode. Ill just kill it in the gym tonight, even though they close at 10pm. WTF IS THAT BULLSHIT, seriously still pissed off about this issue. Anywho, so what does my boss leaving mean?????????



I just do my thing and thats that 🙂 I will surf the web, do practically the entire layout of my blog (case and point), go on pinterest, wanelo, you know. lmfao. 1228pm will update later.

Blahblah blah got off work at 6pm, and let me tell you I have already been up since 545am… so I get off at 6, wait for Mike. Shit happened at work and shit got held up so 630pm came along. I was getting a little annoyed (I’m telling you if I am going to be wasting time it will be in bed), so time was ticking. Then 645pm came and he finally got to rocking. So we chilled for a little big did our thing and by the time I left it was 745pm….. I needed to be at the gym by 8pm to even get a decent work out (plus cardio). So I got home it was 820pm… I had decided  I WAS going to go but to Xsport which is a 24/7 gym… only like 20 min from me and the only gym open past 10pm ON A FUCKING FRIDAY (SOME PEOPLE DONT HAVE LIVES OUTSIDE THE GYM. IT WOULD BE GREAT TO FEEL ACCEPTED!)… no. I will NOT stop bitching about it.. it has GOT to be the dumbest thing, and 8 on SATURDAYS?!??!?!?! WTF???? dude… I’ll work the extra hours if I get to work out. I really would. It’s just so stupid, those hours are VERY popular in the lifting life lol. Any who I started making food and thought it would give me energy, but the longer I stood up the less energy I felt. So my mom said “accept it, and work harder tomorrow.” Alright. So Little miss grandma over here was in bed by 10pm  (after I got done with the push ups and planks). And that was my friday night. (btw one day maybe I will mention my stalker, because they kept me up a little last night, my personal blog may be posted one day.. I have an interesting life lol).


This last girl has my heart

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Day 58 Gettin it in

Work 9-5 (Autowerks)


The Food Log

The Workout

Front Squats 

50lbs x 10 x 2
60lbs x 7 x 1
60lbs x 6 x 1


50lbs x 20 x 5 =


Back Ext

45lbs x 12 x 1

Leg Press

140lbs x 12 x 5

Leg Ext 

65lbs x 10 x 2
75lbs x 8 x 1
85lbs x 8 x 1
95lbs x 6 x 1
110 x 2 x 1 <— lol

Cardio only 15 minutes. My legs were SHOT!


Day 59 in Pictures..

  1. Woke up to my Sperrys at my door! Super excited and Zappos was AWESOME! (Actually stopped mid ship bc I knew the size I ordered wasn’t going to fit and they were so easy and helpful to deal with!! ).
  2. My Banana. lol.
  3. My meals while at work. Mostly Chicken, Broccoli, and Corn, and some onion. 
  4. PYAOB Sent me some clothing. That was nice of them ;););)
  5. Then I went on a shopping spree….. $18 to try a new PB… Its chocolate almond butter, with 1g net carb, and 14 grams of protein :):)
  6. Then I had to buy lululemon pants. omg. 
  7. Came home, had a pre work out shake 🙂
  8. Play with Marley for a little. She is turning 2 in a week!!
  9. SWEATTTTING like a pig today… eek!
  10. Chipotle. Nuff’ said. 
  11. A little pit stop && NO those wheat thins are NOT for me (so much shit in them), and I got a sweet lunch box for $7.50… I KNOW this will come in handy 🙂
Work has been going great, and my mood has defiantly changed (for the better :). I am consistenly staying on track with eating and working out. School has been a little challenging this week but no big deal, Ill hang in there. I think give or take I am about 5 lbs shy of my goal weight.. Doesn’t seem like much, but it is when you are already working out an hour plus everyday lol. Still need to register and get on my suit finding business. Also need to start studying for my test this weekend (even though I probably won’t because its a take home test.. ugh).. and need to keep my head in the game. LOL so about the kid that hit on me.. I was just WAY to tired to post it yesterdayy (had a SUPER long day).. but it goes a little like this..
I was working out on a  back machine, when I randomly met eyes with the dude in front of me.. I didn’t think anything of it and kept doing my thing.. well I ended up on the stair master, which is before the entrance to the locker rooms. I saw him go in, and then he came out. Second guessed himself and then came my way, “I don’t want to come off as crazy, because I’ve been told Im crazy before, but we met eyes and I heard music..” LMFAO. I laughed so hard.. it was cute.. so I gave him my number. I’m not use to saying no to people.. however it’s starting to get a little ridiculous at the gym lately.. I just had a worker of LA Fitness (TODAY) literally stop me mid work out today to try and talk to me as my hand is literally inches away from my ear because I want to put my headphones back in and finish a set… I think he finally caught on.. FUCK… Not to mention.. when I found the note on my car.. or when another employee got my number from when he asked me to write my information down (I was SEMI interested in a PT job, I have been asked a total of 4 times by different people that I should work at LA) <– and fuck that I never will (sucky pay, no clients ext). How disrespectful.. Not kidding, I understand how guys are but this is getting a tad bit out of hand… :/
Wow I published that without realizing that it didn’t save.. no big deal.. that was pretty much the end of my rant anyways.. I’ll leave you with a little motivation ..
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Day 45 Boring Post.. move along.

Woke up late again. My own fault. Didn’t get to bed till 3am. Woke up at 7:50am (I usually leave at 8am).

830am Protein Shake: Vanilla Whey Coconut Shred, 1cup coconut milk 1/2 banana and ice YUM ❤

9-12pm Just snacking on almonds. I forgot all my food and I couldn’t leave.. 😦

207pm I had a brat. At least 250 calories.

425pm Headed to Whole Foods need 2 meals for tonight. I have a test today in Psych class, so I get to leave right after I am done.. shouldn’t be more then an hour which is nice. I really want to get a good work out in and I’m SUPER tired today.

Ate chicken breast in car……again……..


sorry.. super excited.

6-730pm Class started and we immediately started taking the test.. I honestly think I did OK.. I turned in some extra credit so that should help :):):)

Went home and ate some nachos 🙂 before legs.. A serving and half of pita chips (natural), ground turkey, onions, fat free moz cheese and a tablespoon of lite sour cream. SO GOOD.. Went  upstairs and chilled a bit then I started getting tired for some reason (actually I’ve been tired all day).. so i HAD to get up.

Got to the gym at 8pm.

Started with

S Q U A T S!!!!

45lbs on each side… didn’t think it was that much actually hahahaha and KILLED IT.. didnt do as many reps but i got down.. did this 3 times through.

so 90lbs x 8-10reps x 3

then I got interrupted by some dude. He was actually really nice but just an awkward conversation.. asked if I was married, with any one, here with anyone, do I have time to go out, can he take me out, like what the fuck.. I had to remove my headphones AND stop my workout.. do people not know how some work outs are.. no rest, little rest, ext? what the F U CK .. not to mention his friends were all like an arms length away and making fun of him, but like I saw he was really sweet so I wasn’t bitchy.. Though I did say I’d call him when I was done working out.. I just wanted to finish my sets 😦

After he left me be,

Took off 40 lbs and did 10reps at 50lbs 2 times through.


40 lb x 100reps  <—- YUP!!!!

At this point I was DRENCHED in sweat.. Like in my eyes couldn’t see type shit.. haha.. so I moved into the studio to do my planks so I could cool off/rest a little bit..

but in between my planks I did jump squats lol.. I just wanted to MOVE!! 🙂 so after a totaling of 5 min 30 sec of planks.

Jump Squats \/

I would perfer not leaning so forward, and get your ass down (more of a 90 degree)..

Then moved to

Leg Extensions

95 lbs-130lbs 6-12 reps.

and I was DONE!

Got Gas. then ate the left over turkey and had a cup of unsweetened applesauce then 30 min later I was starving so I ate some bad ass oatmeal.. it had coconut milk, coconut shreds, dark chocolate chips and cocoa, and cacao nibs 🙂

10am Got in bed and finally fell asleep at midnight. WHICH IS EARLY FOR ME LATELY!!!!!

Goodnight ❤

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Day 30 My only wish is I die real.


But I feel like shit.

I felt like shit last night too, so woke up 15 min prior to  me needing to leave. Not like I give a shit, but Marley would NOT stop whinning at 6am. My mom had to come in and take her out, shes such a weirdo.

But back to me feeling like shit. It feels like acid reflux. Haven’t had it in AWHILE.. so it’s weird that its coming back now. FUCKKKK I took 3 tums last night and I woke up fine, now it hurts again.

Had a dope ass shake though.

830am W/ the nasty WF vanilla P. powder with fresh pineapple, frozen mango ice and water (oh and fiber). It was awessssssssssssssssome. I am going to add coconut oil tomorrow 🙂

Anywho its 1041am I found Raw almonds in a customers car LMFAO. I had to go in it to get the title and all of a sudden a bag of unopened almonds popped out. FUCKING PERFECT. I was starving and not only was my stomach hurting from WHATEVERTHEFUCKISGOINGON, i had hunger pains too. 😦 No bueno.

So I ate a handful of those then had a piece of pineapple. MMMMMM I LOVE FOOD!

NEED TO GO TO THE DMV today, but Matt isn’t here. I am seriously in so much trouble. :(:(

Bought another sweatshirt from LIFT BIG EAT BIG. The purple one. 🙂 I only bought one sweatshirt from their because I am rewarding myself. I haven’t gotten any check from school cathy or my tax return so this is my money rewarding myself for hitting day 30 🙂 But I want like 2 or 3 more things 🙂

&& I want these SO BADDDDDDD ❤

Anyways. I am in a really good fucking mood. the weather is FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!! no joke its 68 degrees March 6. Take a few seconds and thank WHOEVER you think is in charge of life and death and thank them for another day here on earth.

Actually what if death is better then life? lol. Like once we die its like a never ending party. hahahaha justkidding. THANK YOU GOD FOR TODAY! ❤

I feel myself getting a little hungry (231pm) I have more pineapple that I shouldnt eat, actually I CAN, omg stomach pains again 😦 but I may go sneak some more almonds lmfao.. ITS LEG DAY TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Lets see some sexy legs!!!!!!!!!

So far doing legs 2x a week is going great. My ass is huge, and its staying that way, all while my legs (thighs ext) are thinning out. FUCK YEAH!..

See I’m positive about my body when I’m in a good mood, and think I’m pregnant when I’m not.
Writing things down does help…….


924pm Just an update

Left for work at 5pm. Got flicked off and tried to run off the road TWICE. I was taking a video of the first guy because he was acting crazy and as soon as I was about to hit off I said ” and I need to cut this guy off”.. but hoesntly THERE WAS ENOUGH DAMN ROOM. it wasn’t like a huge ordeal. Well I turned the record button off and continued driving. Well the road merges back onto the highway or follow with traffic. Well this guy got on the further road to go straight and wouldn’t let me in.. Pretty much he was running me off the road.. WEll I saw I had like 100 feet and sped up and I didn’t give a shit if he hit my car. He had a mercedes and I simply didn’t care. I wouldn’t of said anything, probably wouldn’t of even stopped had he hit me lol.. Anywho I got my camera back on and he started acting normal till he got on the right again (after fucking with me) and I slowed down and rolled down my window.. I wanna see if I can post the video here.. lol

Nevermind it won’t let me :(:( Hopefully I can figure it out sometime.. But he said, cut me off one more time bitch.. and he sounded so flustered like he knew he was on camera lol and didn’t know if he was going to roll down his window or not.. whatever hahaha.. I can’t believe it.. thats 3 times in 2 days..

So I got home I ate a piece of steak again at like 445 so I only ate a couple scoops of applesauce (just because lol) and part of a lara bar.. I had a lot of fruit today.

Got to the gym at 730pm


60lbs x 10reps
80lbs x 10reps
90lbs x 8reps
100lbs x 6reps
110lbs x 4reps

Moved onto lunges. MHMMMMM started at 40 lb DB in each hand


My forearms wanted to give up more then my legs did. My legs were hurting at the last few reps.. like wobbly type shit. Then went over to the Leg Ext.. Even though I was going to do calves but I was kind of spacey.

65lbs x 12reps
80lbs x 10reps
95lbs x 10reps
110lbs x 8reps
125lbs x 8reps
140lbs x 6reps

FInished with 3 sets of 10 reps (45lbs) seated calf raises.

Did 2 set of planks. I was hurting. I did 10 box jumps though lol.. and I really didn’t feel anything jiggle up and down lol.. whichhhh is fanfuckingtastic.


Got a diet coke (yes I am taking full advantage before I can’t drink it anymore)… ate some stolen almonds. And then made a smoothie.. coconut mango pineapple… mmmmm so fucking good.

Probably all Im gonna eat.. I want to go to bed at a normal time..

I have been thinking about things… and I really need to stop getting so upset about things so fast. Everything can be solved. But first you just need to breathe. Honestly. ENJOY your life. Do something for YOU! Not only that find something you can hold on too.. That gives you faith.. that gives you hope… I really think people need to start living for  something.

Then I get to thinking about how people can’t even say thank you or bless you when someone sneezes. How people can’t even hold a door open for someone anymore, and I think people are going to just take a few seconds even to thank the universe for all I care, just to be alive.  Life is so precious and you really don’t know when its all going to end. but when it does I want to have at least help or have helped someone… anyone.. I want someone to have been changed by something I stood for or just said in general. I want little girls to know that they are beautiful. That the outside does NOT define who you are inside. That vanity is ignorance to the beauty thats around us. I want people to be happier.. just fucking stop hating each other.. why are you holding a grudge? why is everyone SO DAMN MAD ALL THE FUCKING TIME?!?!

The thing is is I always LOOK mad, completely different then actually being mad.. yes perspective is everything and everyone judges, but honestly I think in my life, I’ve been more sad then mad and I used being angry to cover up wanting to always cry. I mean fuck I’ve done my fair share of crying (and I could cry at just about anything lol). But I think I rather choose to scream and yell then to crying and hyperventilate.

I always knew anger was a second emotion but never put much thought into it. The thing is is I wasn’t mad at the world, or people around me.. I was just upset at my life and how I was living it. I was probably jealous and envious over certain peoples lifestyles, bodies, cars  (whatever the fuck it may be) but never truly upset with anyone.. Not even my dad who introduced himself to me on my 8th grade graduation.

Yeah my mom thinks I should be angry at him but honestly I don’t. He didn’t leave me, he never hated me.. Shit happens and people react in different ways. Hence what I am saying about myself. I choose to do stuff differently (judge people ext), and no one really told me I was ever wrong, Just like my father knows (hopefully) but thats it. As long as you learn a lesson from past mistakes I think in the end it will make you a better person. Though they say never to regret anything, well I don’t believe in that. I don’t mean sit there and dwell, but I don’t think regretting something is wrong. It doesn’t do much, but its not wrong. I think it would be wrong if you didn’t regret it (meaning you’d do it again).. Idk to each their own.. I just wish I didn’t have to hurt people to become what I think is a better person now.

Words hurt. Words stay in peoples minds. and I am so sorry to anyone that I have ever hurt.

and trust me, I have hurt people with the words I have said. I am not proud the fact that I can hurt someone so badly with just the words that come out of my mouth. and to think I WANTED to hurt someone with them…

I was just lost. lost and confused 😦

Shit this could go on forever but I am going to end it here.. its going on 10pm..

Point is.. I am a different person now. I do not judge anyone, because it is not my place to judge. Being open and having people being open with me, has made me realize that just because a person is smiling on the outside, that they are not living, going or been thru hell.

I have heard some fucked up stories, that I couldn’t even dream up if I wanted too, not to mention, would I have EVER of guessed that this person has been through, what they went thru.

Just please the next time you want to say something mean rude, hurtful disrepesetful ext.. know that not only do sticks and stones hurt…. so do words. and some people are going thru enough behind close doors, that they don’t need an ignorant jackass talking shit.

Sorry. Idk why that all came out.. 😦

Anyways I’m going to bed. Sorry to bore the fuck out of you.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 8 = Squats(x 100) + PB + Jelly

Anywho can’t think of a better picture of have up there. Plain and simple eh?


It’s 1:20pm and I apologize. lol.

  1. I fucked up
  2. My posts are all fucked up 😦

My diet was ALL OVER THE PLACE this weekend and I feel completely horrible. AS of RIGHT NOW.. (more so this morning)….


(besides from my fruit that is.. i ❤ my green smoothies)

8:10am I made my mom and I,  green smoothies made with unsweetened almond milk instead of orange juice (less cals) and it still tasted the same. I realized that the L-carnitine (Ice t flavor) makes it kind of sour and I LOVE IT! and I just ran out so I will have to go to GNC today or tomorrow.

@work I was running around (buying bosses daughters gifts ) so I got a diet dr pepper at the gas station (tasted like shit so I only drank a little bit) and got gum to occupy me with (kinda worked) but when I got to work I had a laughing cow (which I AM IN LOVE WITH for some ODD ass reason. because I DO NOT eat cheese).. and a Sugar Free Red Bull (ol well 3g carbs).. ❤

1pm Ate chicken and cauliflower and broccoli (wasn’t appetizing so I didn’t take a pic).. and now I’m trying to catch up on the blogging shit and trying to drink my stomach cramps away..


YOU GOT IT! Pretty fucking excited actually. SQUATS SQUATS AND MORE SQUATS!… and some deadlifts.. and lunges.. and leg extensions and squats and some more lunges then end it with some squats .. lol.. 

4pm I have been hungry all day.. and I ate another babybel and have been drinking a shit ton of tea. I’ll eat the rest of the steak and veggies and hopefully I feel full.

7pm Drinking a protein shake before I go lift and making sweet potato fries for after. WHICH I’M PRETTY STOKED ABOUT. They. Are. Delicious.

Actually change of plans. Got home a lil late because I had to wait for Hertz (rental car) and they apparently didn’t rush or anything lol. So while I was waiting patiently, I was creeping hard on chocolate covered katie. I’m no doubt in love. So I found some cool recipes.. and when I got home I just got the ingredients together and walked marley in the mean time. When I got back I put the batter in the pan and started to bake it.

 The First picture is of the ingredients. Top Right is when it came out of the pan.
Bottom Left is when I spread the PB and the Jelly. Bottom Right is when I rolled it up and cut it
into two.

FYI the rest of this post is going to be centered because it won't let me start at the right...... LOL

Skinny Mini Jelly Roll Cake

(Serves 1-2)

  • 1/2 cup ww pastry flour, or white or spelt (70g) (For a gf version, use this: gluten-free option.)
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/8 tsp salt
  • 100g water or other liquid (That’s 1/3 cup plus 1 T plus 1 tsp)
  • 2 packets stevia or 2 tablespoons sugar
  • 2 tablespoons applesauce or oil
  • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract

Combine all dry ingredients together. In a separate bowl, combine wet (including applesauce). Mix wet into dry, but don’t overmix. Pour into a greased 8-in circle pan or a rectangular pan. (Be sure to grease it very well, or the cake won’t come out.) Cook for 10 minutes in a NON-preheated oven at 420F. Let cool ten minutes before removing cake from pan. Then cut off all four edges so it forms a rectangle (if you used the circle pan). Spread on jam, or whatever else you wish, and roll it up. It’s that easy!

Her picture was better (:.. and the roll up just looks better lol.. But I think it would actually make sense to cut it into fourths, and making 2 PB and J sandwiches. My mom asked where hers was and I felt bad that I ATE THE WHOLE FUCKING THING. loll.. but I was about to go workout and needed the carbs lol.

Anyways Gym was great. Did over 150+ squats and lunges. WHOOP WHOOP! Took a bath in some kind of salt I don’t know how to spell and don’t wanna google it because I really wanna go to bed (even though I have the day off lol explain latah). But seriously Im so fucking tired and I have no idea why. OH and I made kale chips again but I added parmesan to them. They cooked differently but they were still good even though I added too much salt. Alright goodnight.

P.S I’m adding a bonus blog regarding ABS. You know, everyones fave?? Enjoy!

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8:00am Protein Shake like usual (myofusion, flax,fiber,strawberries and ice)- YES it IS the same thing I have been eating day to day for breakfast, and NO I do not get sick of it. If I was sick of it Id change it 😉 Feel free to change it up. I just don’t have any time in the mornings, (besides fri sat sun) to make a full meal..

Still feel uncomfortable in clothing which is usually tight. yeah my muffin top is probably showing lol. omggggg. I feel so disgusting. but I have to push thru, these are the thoughts I get and I know others do as well.. Its like off season you gain weight, should be healthy weight, but no not for marissa (I AM THE ONLY ONE TO BLAME FOR THIS, and maybe a broken heart).. well anyways it TAKES TIME! it will not happen over night BELIEVE ME!. So please just keep going, think positive, and know theres only better days to come. I am however skipping my cheat meal this weekend because of how disgusted I am with myself. **Cheat meals will be discussed this weekend** Just concentrate eating HEALTHY, concentrate on today not tomorrow, not what you did yesterday..  on a lighter note.. you should of saw what I ate the last day, I looked prego. I wont sugarcoat anything I LOVE SWEETS. Desserts. brownies. ANYTHING cake. DOUGHNUTS. anything with frosting.. lol TWIX bars (lol nikki…cheddaaaah…everyone that knows me).. kit kats, snickers..I could keep going but Ill probably sound like a fucking weirdo. and thats because you havent seen my phone lol. I have food porn FERSURE. sometimes it helps sometimes it works against you… (**These cravings usually happen VERY badly during the last 4 weeks of contest prep**) Anyways I’m fine. Cravings for a cig are SLOWWWWLYYYYY leaving.. I’m chewing a lot more gum and keeping a liquid on me at all times.

It’s 9:40am and I just got to work. I’m posting of pic and TRYING to post a video of the accident this morning. It took me 50 minutes to go 10 miles. And to think I was actually going to be on time today (well I always am but I mean 15 or more minutes lol). I did get up early and finish my day 3 blog oops =D. I got home late had every intention of doing so, then apple had to download something and it was taking forever so I feel asleep…. at 1:45am!. For all of you who DON’T know me.. I’m in bed by 10pm or at least finishing up work on the computer and IN bed. You’ll notice I don’t go out much and that’s because there are too many distractions especially during contest prep.. besides I have too much going on anyways.. sat and sun are my days to get a great workout in without worrying about time..I also cook all my food for the week on sunday and any “special” recipes as well. I do my errands and do any laundry or cleaning that needs to be done. Mon-fri Im at work for 10 hours I go to school mondays and wednesdays and work out an hour to an hour and half, and that’s just because i’m STARTING contest prep.. You’ll see how RIDIC training gets when the days start lessening. 5am cardio sessions followed by a night workout as well ext So being hungover isn’t an option.. the calories aren’t worth it.. Like I always say when it comes to drinking I rather have a cupcake then a couple beers lol (and we all know I cant have 1 cupcake, so I don’t do either haha) .. lol..

At about 12ish I had a stuffed tomato my mom made me last night, (she made 2 but Ill space them out bc they are made with mayo, but idc its LEG DAY TODAY) and I got a banana at the gas station (yes the banana was eaten in “pm” hours which I say eat your fruits in the “am” but It looked good, I have legs today, and I dont think Ill put a restriction on healthy foods right now. A month before my last show I was scared to even eat carrots because of the carbs in them. EAT HEALTHY FOOD. CASE AND POINT! You will develop ISSUES, if you dont allow yourself to eat, especially if its good for you).

3pm– I have another blackened chicken breast I got from whole foods. (DELISHHHHHHHHHHH). Pretty hungry after my chicken 😦 I have another tomato I might eat.

Leg Day I usually focus on SQUATS LUNGES and DEADLIFTS

5pm-6pm Sit in traffic for an hour. Get home walk marley, eat, finish up homework or just chill. Wait for my mom to get home (so she can watch Marley). I’d really want sweet potatoes or oatmeal before legs but I may just make a shake and go to the grocery store after but gym. Taking NINJA (pre workout)- Currently waiting for my mom, its 6:51 and Marley is passed out on my shoulder. Figured I needed to clean my blog up a bit, I’m starting to get a few followers (:

7pm – 10pm Hopefully I can lift HEAVY (always lift heavy*), and I have a goal of min. 100 squats tonight. I WONT do cardio because I will only be doing the stair master and I don’t do the stair master after a leg workout (hence the plyo work in lift session) I’ll finish with a protein shake and head to bed at about 10pm. (Taking a shower tomorrow am bc I get to go into work an hour later on fridays). I will post a “mock” leg workout of what I usually do. Please GOOGLE anything you don’t understand (which machines, exercises ext. I can explain as best as I can but it would be better to watch a video or something instructional ).

              The Squat:

  • Stand up with your feet shoulder-width apart, feet pointing out slightly.
  • Place your hands on your shoulders. Depending on your strength you can include weights. See below.
  • Lower your body slowly while leaning your buttocks behind you as though you were about to sit. Bend your knees and move down until your hips are just below knee height.
  • Move back up slowly.
  • Keep your back arched up and your head up looking straight ahead.

Lunges: with/without dumbbells ( are excellent leg workouts because you do not need a spotter.  You can really concentrate on each leg as you do them separately).

  • Stand with your feet together and I usually have a light dumbell in each hand.
  • Lunge forward with your left leg until your left leg is 90 degrees and back knee almost touches the ground.
  • Keep your upper body straight without leaning forward
  • Keep your left knee over your left ankle and your weight firmly on the heel of your foot
  • Return to your starting position and repeat switching sides

Leg Curls:

  • Load up and sit on the bench wedging your ankles under the pads.
  • Slowly bring your legs up straight in front of you and hold.
  • Control the weight on the way back down.
  • Repeat as you can, not much risk of injury here.


  • Stand with the bar above the center of your feet – your stance should be a bit more narrow than shoulder-width to give your arms room.
  • Grab the bar overhand so your arms are vertical to the floor – if your hamstrings are tight, do Squat 2 stands to boost your hip flexibility.
  • Bend through your knees until your shins hit the bar which must remain above the middle of your feet. Shoulder-blades directly over the bar.
  • Lift your chest but don’t squeeze your shoulder-blades like on Squats. Just put your shoulders back & down, head inline with rest of your spine.
  • Pull – keep the bar close to your body, roll it over your knees and thighs until your hips and knees are locked. Do not lean back at the top.

Leg Workouts Conclusion:

  • Perform leg workouts slowly and in a controlled way.
  • Leg exercises can be done without weights.  Form is more important and explosion on each set is more important.
  • Your legs, thighs and calves can take a lot of work.  Do not be afraid of being sore after your leg workouts.
  • http://www.leg-workouts.com/
Miss Fit Clothing ❤

Function of the Leg Muscles

The upper legs are a large and complex group of muscles, which are interconnected with the knee and hip joints. This high level of complexity is necessary for all of the movement done using with the lower body muscles…

…We can move and rotate our legs and pelvis in any direction, and through a large range of motion. Thus we have the ability (or potential ability) for diverse movements such as squats, running, doing the splits, performing acrobatics, hula dancing and more.

Quadriceps (AKA “Quads”)

The quadriceps are the prominent leg muscles that make up the front of your thigh. The quads’ most essential role is knee extension, which entails straightening your leg from a bent-leg position. Jumping is a perfect example of knee extension.

It’s secondary purpose is hip flexion, which refers to the movement of bringing your thighs or knees towards your chest. A hip flexion example is the knee-ing strike perfomed in MMA.

Hamstrings (AKA “Hams” or “Hammies”)

The hamstring muscle group makes up the back of the thigh. The functions of these leg muscles are the exact opposite of those of the quadriceps. Their primary hamstrings role is knee flexion, which is characterized by curling your leg backward as if you’re trying to kick your ass with your heel.

The second basic funtion of the hamstring muscle group is hip extension. This is most easily displayed by the “pelvic thrust” motion [Insert your own joke here].

Glutes/Gluteal Muscles (AKA “Butt,” etc…)

The gluteal muscles include the gluteus maximus, medius and minimus. The glutes are powerful muscles, whose role is hip extension and adduction. As explained directly above, hip extension is characterized by either moving your hips forwards, or bringing your leg backwards.

Abduction constitutes sideways motion of moving your leg away from your body. This can be experienced when performing an outward sweeping motion with one of your legs.

Hip Abductors (AKA “Outter Thighs”)

The hip abductors are located on the outter thigh area of your leg muscle. And as you might have guessed, this muscle group’s function is abduction – in conjunction with the glutes (see above).

Hip Adductors (AKA “Inner Thighs”)

The hip adductors are to hip abductors as the quads are to the hams; they are essentially opposites. While the abductors work to move the leg outward, the abductors work to bring the leg inwards. Also known as the inner thighs, the easiest way to “feel” your adductors working is by squeezing your legs together and flexing.

Hip Flexors

The hip flexors are a group of muscles in the upper-thigh to frontal-hip area. Their name gives away their purpose: hip flexion. As explained in the quadriceps subsection, hip flexion is demonstrated by lifting your knee or leg up towards your chest (or lowering chest towards legs).

People who do too much sitting (i.e. most people in developed nations) have flexibility or pain issues due to shortened and inflexible hip flexors. The solution? The short answer is to stretch the hip flexors more and take breaks when sitting for long periods.


The Best Leg Exercises

Top 5 Leg Exercises. Here’s my top 5 pick for the most effective leg exercises:

  1. Squats

  2. Deadlifts

  3. Dumbbell Lunges

  4. Step Ups

  5. Leg Press

I love doing legs and I will not post my reps or sets because I personally get discouraged when I cant hit my best or someone elses best. I usually just go to failure, or switch up the sets ext ext whatever you can do to make your gym experience better, Id advise you to do it. Ive cried at the leg press machine and walked out of gyms many times.. It’s all mental, here on out.

OH && if you want a good website to give you workouts check out: http://www.divine.ca/en/health/exercise-finder/c_266/

^ Found the website off PINTEREST (myotheraddiction). Follow me: shititsmar

Oh you may also realize that I didn’t work out yesterday, I would perfer everyone work out ATLEAST 30 min miniumum per day.. Once it gets closer I will workout in the am on mondays and wednesdays (before class).. but I’m not trying to consume my schedule with too much right now.. I’m still  more then 12 weeks out.. But my break down for lifting goes as follows:

  • Monday: Legs
  • Tuesday: Shoulders
  • Wednesday: OFF (for now)
  • Thursday: Back
  • Friday: Legs w calves
  • Saturday: Arms
  • Sunday: Cardio/Plyo.

Take one day off COMPLETELY, so your body can grow. ITS OKAY! and remember a MINIMUM of 30 min cardio/activity everyday.

I will also start posting progress pictures, but I’m have a difficulty doing it the way I want.. So bare with me.. You should be taking pictures too, it will track progress that you wont see on the scale.**

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