Tag Archives: success

To get better at writing, you have to write.

I’ve been wanting to write an update for awhile now, but with life I came up with just about every reason you could possible imagine as to why I didn’t have time.

School life work (the lack thereof), I mean, I feel like as if lately it’s been one thing after another. Now, y’all know I don’t mind the pressure and at some point, I have enjoyed the chaos, but when things are starting to take a true negative impact on your mood attitude or over all well being, that’s when something needs to be done. I always preach being proactive and not reactive but seldom take my own advice..

Until it’s too late, that is.

I don’t know what caused me to change my password so I could finally open up this app, but I don’t feel very positive or even in the mood to write. I have been super hard on myself when it comes to my writing. I want to write a book, and yet I can’t stay on top of a blog or proofread my writing without the fear of ‘select all delete’ action going on.. but here we are..

I feel like so much goes on in my life that I don’t see why I don’t write about it. Probably because unlike some people, who like to talk about their feelings, I don’t. Who likes to sit down and express emotions and rehash everything that would be much more pleasant being forgotten?
So bare with me while I take a stab at it..

I am one final away from completing my second full time semester here. I took some time off work, not intentional, but seems to have worked in my favor (well, in regards to school that is). I will be leaving the semester with straight A’s baby! So, not training 20+ people a day, has really helped me with staying on top of my school work. Two full time semesters to go and I can finally transfer, phew!

I came to the library after I sat down with one of my professors. I really wish I had recorded the conversation because it was just amazing to hear someone confident in me when even I can’t be. We obviously talked about my lack of confidence, but Rome sure wasn’t built in a day..

I will say that I am whole heartedly trying to be the best person I can be. I put a lot of energy into doing well this semester, being helpful and courteous.. That I truly proud of the woman I am growing up to be. I see the changes and the effort into discipline myself, and I cannot be happier.

Just a few hours ago, I took a test that I had previously failed twice. I tried taking a test of 700 pages in 72 hours. A week later, failed again. How? This was a test regarding information I am going to school for, and yet I was having the hardest time passing it. Well…

TODAY I PASSED!!! I went into confident as ever (though I will say the other two times I was just as confident and to be honest that’s crazy for me to even say with the amount of anxiety I get with taking tests), and passed by over 10%. I walked out of that building with a huge grin and couldn’t help but to continue to congratulate myself throughout the car ride home (This test was TOUGH, to say the least. But I now know what color different muscle fibers are and the degree of all angles of the body, if case any of y’all, or my clients, were interested).

I don’t know if it’s because I was never motivated or praised when I was younger, but I am learning to be my own biggest fan, and she’s a pretty dope chick to have around. 

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Procrastination Post.

Figured I would take this time to reflect. One because I usually do on Sundays and two because things are either about to get a lot better or a lot worse. My boyfriend broke up with me today. Okay maybe he didn’t but long story short, we should have a long time ago. He wanted to talk about it, I simply want to wake away liking him as an amazing person that he is rather someone I despise. Who knows but after this post, I am going to bed. My head hurts and I honestly was going to go out and eat a “cheat meal” aka emotional binge and validating it like a boss. But I didn’t. And I am glad that I didn’t. I had an amazing leg work out, 30 minutes of incline walking, and 2 games of basketball in which I can hardly move. It may be a combination of a ridiculous work out and me taking out 2 guys during a game of basketball. Awkward. yet So badass. My battle wounds are getting better day by day. Lol.. kidding.. but seriously let me enjoy it because I could barely walk up and down the stairs yesterday..

You should see how bad it is now.. lol

You should see how bad it is now.. lol

Workouts have been on point and so was eating. I ended the four-week no cheat and felt like shit doing it. I don’t know. Thinking going lighter.. or at least find a way I feel less guilty about it. Anyways. Not unhappy at all. My body is definitely making progress and I am super stoked. I just need to stay consistent. It is literally key.

Yesterdays leg work out, which I was not excited to find out they were doing legs when I walked in. They were literally mid hack squat and me almost not making the work out, realized I would not have been unhappy if I did. Lol. But it was awesome. I felt (or didn’t feel lol) things I havent felt in a while. Justine had to literally extend a hand to help me off. It was crazy, exhilarating and hurt so damn bad. But good. ya know? ;p My legs were numb. H actually checked my legs out to make sure I didn’t tear anything. Crazy. Lol.. And to think that was JUST THE BEGINNING OF THE WORKOUT@!!!!!! Anyways we did some leg curls ext jefferson squats which are just annoying.. and finished with jumps squats I believe. It was insane. I chilled for a bit and went to chipotle. I ordered food and yet I was not hungry. I felt like I wanted to puke smelling everything. I ended up enjoying the water more than anything.. So I saved 1/2 of it and drank some Gatorade. I finished with clients, did 30 minutes of incline walking with Cylia and late at night played 2 games of basketball after Todd asked H but he declined. After first so did I but after they played a game he got me to play. It was nuts. My legs hurt so bad. We won. That is all.

Lmao.

I am slowing getting better. Going to lift back tomorrow which I am actually quite happy about. I want to post some progress ISH pictures. Mostly because in this picture I finally went under 150lbs! It was about damn time. Lol. Not that I care but it was a little small hooray type ordeal.

Imaweirdo.com

Imaweirdo.com

just chillen in the chipotle bathroom! 147lbs!

just chillen in the chipotle bathroom! 147lbs!

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😛

Wednesday: Clearly I haven’t found enough time to get to a wifi connection to post this. I have friday off so I will edit and post. I let this whole break up ruin my work out today. Then I ate some oreos. I realized that I take care of everyone before myself. I am 50% sure I want this break up. I validate binging and eating like shit on any bad situation. enjoy in the time, then hate myself not for eating it because I clearly loved it but hate that I am either behind now on how I want to look or I have more work to do. Knowing that I set myself back is the only reason I feel guilty about eating crap food. MMMMMMM I dont know. I feel sad.

#Americanhorrostory brb ;P

Thursday: Passed out after AHS. I love this show. Slept in, rescheduled the two clients I had. My body hurts, my head hurts, my heart hurts. I’ve been crying lately. Speaking of crying.. I was on facebook.. yep reactivated it.. and it was a series of photos that this husband took of his wife while going thru cancer. It was so touching. So sad, but the very last picture was her tombstone that read “I loved it all”, and as I am sitting here hurting over a hard lesson of a break up and this women was battling cancer and still loved life. I instantly was wiping tears from my face and really needed to take some time to reflect on all of this.

I will not allow it to succumb me. You can either crumble or you can conquer and conquer I sure as fuck will.

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NPC Ironman Bikini

Pictures from The NPC Ironman I saw this weekend.

Pictures from The NPC Ironman I saw this weekend.

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Top 3 Physique

Cylia getting teased with Nutella 2 weeks out!

Cylia getting teased with Nutella 2 weeks out!

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