Tag Archives: Sushi

Project Clean Up!

I finally decided to sit down and write. I don’t know what I am going to write, but I have a crap ton of photos, that will help in describing my life in the last couple of weeks.

Things have been hectic to say the least.. Studying for NASM, going through transitions at work and at home, and just trying to stay on the road I think is best. Its been hard, and I am not afraid or ashamed to say, that even though hesitant at first, I think its best if I talk to someone professionally. I have too many outside biased opinions that I feel cloud my mind at times. I want to sit down and explain myself and figure out if I really am crazy.. Okay a little dramatic, but I do feel it sometimes.

The one thing that is getting me by, is the group of friends I’ve previously mentioned. Having such a tight-knit group is something I can’t explain. I guess I have never experienced this kind of true friendship. Its awesome.. that’s just put it that way.. Not to forget that I have learned SO much.. more than I have in the last 4 years trying to get by on my own. 6 months with these people and I feel like a new and improved person. They make me feel good.. at all times.. I think that’s so important during the stressful times of contest prep, or just simply living the life of someone who works at a gym.. someone who takes it seriously (yes I have to put a disclaimer.. I see your sales guys eating McDonald’s over there)… such a shame.

Any who.. enough lovey dovey shit.. I have been eating like crap for the last week. Burgers.. upon burgers.. ice cream, frozen yogurt, McDonald’s.. You name it, I probably had it. This is a great way to start loading pictures, dont cha think ;P

@SMOKE bbq

@SMOKE bbq

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night... haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

Idk why that last picture is blurry but not like we needed it anyways. We DEMOLISHED our food @bulldogs in grayslake. I had the mac daddy. This was last night… haha. ANDDDD.. not pictured but same night, the boy came over and we got Mcflurrys. The next time you get one, ask for hot fudge (with the oreo of course). You will not be sorry!

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured...

The only reason, I am randomly adding this progress picture in, is because this was the morning before the night of the burgers (above pictured). I have literally eaten like crap, and this is how I woke up, after alllllllll the food about to be pictured…

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and prok fried rice. We. get. down.

Sushi @Dragonfly in Chicago. We LOVE this place. So amazing. We also had orange steak and pork fried rice. We. get. down.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

Night of dragonfly, clearly loving life.

I suppose I should of started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change... BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure ;)

I suppose I should have started with this pic, but the whole reason we were downtown and had sushi was because I had to take a 3 hour CPR class that I was almost late too because of chicago traffic during any type of weather change… BUTTTTTTTT I passed! Notice the isopure πŸ˜‰

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

Post sushi. :O The boy snap chatted me this picture lol. I swear the options were endless!!!!!

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips... sweet cream icecream... mmmmmmmm

@Coldstone. I never skimp on the deliciousness here. The boy always gets a smoothie or some weird thing.. Here I believe I actually got one of their premade options. It was oreo hot fudge and chocolate chips… sweet cream icecream… mmmmmmmm

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this... icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

I obviously had a few bites of his icecream but get this… icecream 2.99 my apple?????? 3.09!!!!!!!!!!!!! But they were on sale for 2.99 meaning my apple was a little over a lb! lmao..

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger....... Cajun fries..... I was in heaven.

@fiveguys. Bacon Burger……. Cajun fries….. I was in heaven.

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

This was about 2-3 days into crapping eating but still lifting like a badass. No cardio. Night AFTER sushi.. (above).

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

Leg progress. Super happy with them lately.

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

soooo cold out! random selfie ;P

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

My new bag LOVE, new aminos LOVE and my resistance bands for pull ups!!!!!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

10oz ribeye @outback. SOOOOOOOOO good. you have the option for grilled or pan with seasoned. I asked for it to be seasoned but grilled and it could not have been better. Funny story or not story but fact, this but his steak and an appetizer cost the same as when we go to Buffalo Wild Wings. Isnt that nuts?!

Beginning of the year 2014'

Beginning of the year 2014′

So, as you may know I am an avid believer in eating clean. However, I don’t know exactly what went on here. I didn’t calorie count or track anything (besides the pictures), but you can tell I wasn’t shy about those calories consumed. I enjoyed every last bite of every meal I ate in the last week. That I get, but what confuses me is that I didn’t change my work out regimenΒ  to adapt to the significantly higher calories in my diet, but I still maintained if not IMPROVED my physique. Yes I am not stage lean-to ANY extent, but I feel like I have actually never looked better. Maybe they really were magic cookies…

Haha inside joke.. I have started a cookie binge and it’s catching on like a virus! I swear they’re not magic! This is not a trend, do NOT follow! haha… I think my body was just going crazy and even it didn’t know what to do with itself..BUT today, I have started from scratch. Chicken and veggies for meeeeeeeee. Lets see what happens.. I mean,, if crap food and no added exercise made me look like this.. I can only imagined if I cleaned things up!

Back to some good read though. I deadlifted 225 no problem. No straps.. just chalk. About 4 months ago, I attempted this. I stood by the bar and couldn’t budge it. I strapped up, had a spot and maybe hit 3 reps. Just the other day, after about 6 reps of continuously adding weight, we threw on 225 just for shits and giggles. Chalked up and repped it out. Literally. It was nuts. So nuts, that I feel that I may have been spotted the whole time. She says all she did was bring my shoulders back but maybe that’s what it took to get it up?? So.. after were all recovered, I want to try it again.. no spot.. no bullshit. Until then… I spotted 225 πŸ˜‰

….and the best part of my last couple of weeks?

Just so happened to happen about 2 days ago. I was training a client that I have had ever since i made the switch to Waukegan. He was coming in 2 times a week in the morning with another trainer. That trainer changed his schedule and could no longer train him. I met with him, at which point he couldnt go up or down the stairs without holding on due to a bad motorcycle accident. As far as I was told, when he first started with the gym he was had a cane (previously in wheelchair for weeks). Weight loss had always been a goal, but we really needed to focus on reworking the muscles for basic human movements. starting from scratch, we needed to work on our foundation. Slowly but surely all the progress was really made on the scale. Eventually a couple of months in, he was super happy about going up and down the stairs no problem. He literally hustled! It was awesome. Another time he came in and asked to give me a hug. Later explained hunting was no longer painful, No longer took an ATV out, instead walks to where he sets up shop. But what was major BADASS (and I am so sorry I don’t have a video. You can check out Phitness Aesthetics on Facebook or my Instagram, Maristheshit), was when we took me to our little room and said he needed to show me something. I already knew I wanted to video tape it so you hear him saying I’m going to make fun of him! He first walks up and down on both legs over a few step ups. I’m super happy already but again you hear him say, but that isn’t even the best part. YOU SEE THE EXCITEMENT ON HIS FACE, as he attempts to BOX JUMP IT!!! AND HE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A couple of times too!!!!!! It was so amazing. I showed it to my co worker who previously trained him and he said he had tears in his eyes, if not everyone who saw it. People were amazed and they didn’t even know it. Ugh! You have to see the video now.. I’ll try to upload it..

Shit it really wont let me.

Meet Doug. He was one of my first clients when I made the move to Waukegan (6months ago). He could barely walk up the stairs without holding on to something (due to a bad motorcycle accident), so you could tell how much of an improvement since then by his excitement in the first part of the video. Little did I know, that wasn't even the half of it. He BOX JUMPED THAT SHIT!!!!!!! I was speechless. When it comes to #fitness, people assume it's all about #weightloss. Now, if done properly (and with a well balanced #nutrition), weight loss should occur… But sometimes our focus should be more on learning (or relearning) basic human movements and correcting any imbalances that may have occurred (during injury or constant bad form ext). A huge thanks to @phitness_aesthetics and the wide range of knowledge this team possesses.

A post shared by Marissa πŸ’‹ (@maristheshit) on

See if that will work.. If Not.. just google maristheshit or find me on instagram. Any who.. I’m just going to leave on that note.. It was just too awesome not too!

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Highlights!

Highlights of my week (since I fell off the radar. Imagine that):

Thursday:

Leg Day and holy hell was it crazy.
300 squats. Yes, 3 0 0.
50 @ 45lbs
40 @ 65lbs
30 @ 85lbs
20 @ 105lbs
10 @ 125lbs
10 @125lbs
20 @ 105lbs.. ext you get the picture. All the way back up to 50 reps.

It took us a little over an hour to complete. I was exhausted.

-1

I have been tracking my food intake for the last couple days. I have been staying around 2000 calories but haven’t been paying attention to my carbs/protein as much. Starting this week (tomorrow), I will get more detailed about it.

2051 calories
244g carbs
191g protein
36g fat

With 1196 calories burned via exercise.

Friday:

Didn’t have too busy of a day. Most of my clients cancelled. I really didn’t do a full work out either. I attempted to do a little upper body but mentally was just not there. The calories burned (286) were from taking Marley to the park. I did some lunges and a sort little exercise. I didn’t count (or track via my heart rate monitor) the sad excuse for an upper body work out I did before I had my first client. So, nothing too interesting. Nor anything to “highlight”.

1814 calories
185g car
196g protein
42g fat

286 calories burned via exercise.

Saturday:

Woke up pretty early for my first client around 8am. I had one more before I did a spin class at 9am. This is basically my only form of cardio right now. So yes, not as lean as I would like but I am not going to do what I did last contest prep and over due cardio to try to speed up the process.

Here is a picture I took Saturday:

-2

Sitting at 150lbs still. Not losing any weight, but I am not really trying to. Again. have been eating around 2000 calories and only about an hour of cardio. It is very important that the next 15 weeks, that I stay positive and in the day. Last prep, I did tooΒ  much cardio and lost my ass in fear that my abs wouldn’t show. For anyone doing a competition (actually, for any one starting a new fitness regimen) DO NOT FIGHT THE PROCESS!! Of course we all want to be lean and some of us would like to look “shredded”. It WILL come. Just be patient. I have a lot of room to play around with via my food intake and adding more cardio. You have to understand the basics before you start starving yourself to lose the weight. What ends up happening is you mess up your metabolism and will gain the weight right back. It is a vicious cycle. Do some research, or hire someone to do it for you and take each day as it comes. I promise you that it will be worth it. Ended my work day around 1:30pm.

On my way to the boys house!

On my way to the boys house!

I got home around 2 and took a shower before I headed to the boyfriend’s house. Actually, I took a shower and slept for an hour before I headed to the boyfriend’s house. He had a big party to go to that I was actually quite anxious about going too. I am not a big drinker (actually when I do drink, I don’t get drunk. So Please don’t pass the bottle, pass a motherfucking cupcake. Way worth the calories than)! I actually don’t like the whole partying lifestyle and quite frankly, just not my thing. So, that being said it was hard to see him enjoying his liquor as much as he was. I am however, not his mother and although I spoke my mind, I felt like I had no right. I want him to have fun.. but I don’t trust a lot about that lifestyle. Acting way different drunk than sober. Getting loud and acting like his friends but after a few talks with a new client of mine, and his and I’s tispy talk, I am no longer going to worry (yes, WAY easier said then done) about our relationship. I feel like I have finally found a happy medium and will continue to stay positive and pray. I don’t know. But before I choke on my words, It wasn’t that bad. Granted it was supposed to be WAY bigger than it was, I didn’t have as bad of a time as I thought I would sober. Just sat there drinking my water πŸ™‚ and eating of course. Though, not everything I wanted. There was 3 different cakes, and dips and great freakin stuff! But I held my own and my lovely boyfriend fed me meat all night. I added in my calories (although I guessed) and it came out to be like 700 calories worth of meat. Def don’t think that’s legit but whatever πŸ™‚ Still met my goal.

Well.. only because by the time I took 3 bites of his oreo cake (WHICH BTW WAS AMAZING), it was passed midnight. So I added the 150 calories of cake to the next day.

1990 Calories
158g carbs
133g protein
89g fat

317 calories burned via spin class.

Sunday Funday:

We didn’t get home till around 4am after making a pit stop at a secret fishing spot (he caught 2 bass pretty quickly and randomly) and at his buddies house. We slept in till around 12:30 ( I know!! :/) haha and headed downtown Chicago for some sushi. Knowing this, I was a little sad because it is my favorite sushi place and I really wanted to stay on my 4 week no cheat challenge. But when we got there, the owner who is one of our good friends picked out a dish that wasn’t on the menu and ordered it for me. It was basically chicken and veggies with brown rice (sauce on the side, though I just used soy sauce). I was super happy! And to think I thought all I would have would be edamame. Blah! After that, we drove home. He felt bloated (per usual) and I felt fine. It’s a whole different story when you don’t eat till you’re full. It almost feels good. Not to forget, that by 6pm I still had my abs. Hell yes! All thanks to a little challenge I created for myself. Only 10 days though!! Just 10 days and I can enjoy a full on cheat meal! So glad its my birthday too. It will be a double whammie!! yes.. I just said whammie.

 

Dragonfly in Chicago!

Dragonfly in Chicago!

We laid in bed for a bit, while the food digested. Took the dog for a walk and I left shortly after. I have to be up at 5am tomorrow and well.. it never gets any easier. Tomorrow is definitely going to be a long day, but I guess it is what it is. Hopefully have a nice little upper body work out!

1795 calories (although I MAY eat another meal. I’m not sure).
167g carbs
86g protein (fail)
57g fat

0 exercise. My lovely day off!

Time to snooze!

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Monday 36/83 (2/11)

I totally jinxed myself.

Saturday I went off my rocker. No, I jumped off that bitch.

Oh not following me? I “binged”. Not to the extent of which I have before but definitely consumed a shit load of calories thanks to none other than myself. All I did was sleep and eat chocolate and I would give it all back than have to endure the stomach pains all day sunday. After 2 hour increments of going to the bathroom, I woke up with a 4 month prego food baby looking stomach. I couldn’t even function right. I went to a couple of stores with my mom and had to leave early because the stomach pains just didn’t want to go away. So when I got home I chugged pepto and tried drinking some water. Nothing really helped except a heating pad for about 30 minutes.

I am so dumb. Literally a fucking idiot. Yes, I tell my clients not to worry and not to be upset after a binge or even a legit cheat meal but now I see how it’s so easily said then done. I feel worthless. I already have my doubts about this contest and I just threw it away for a day. Yes a day, so yes I sound like an idiot but I also feel like one. I have yet to do this the entire prep but it’s still no excuse. I have about 6.5 weeks left and here I go doing the destructive things I have done in the past. But it ends here. Maybe I just needed that, maybe it will work out for me in the end. I technically didn’t have a cheat meal last week so … a possible validation? Lol.. no.

That’s what you call an excuse ladies and gentleman!

But I am over it.

Planned my next couple of weeks which will be harder but I really want to start leaning out now. Hopefully my little abs want to make an appearance some time in the near future πŸ™‚

So, even after my baby food drama the boyfriend and I went to sushi. LOL. Hmmm… rice when already bloated? Whatever, it is what it is. We did finish off some fried ice cream because apparently I am just a born fat ass at heart. No lie. We ended up just getting a movie and relaxing the rest of the night (aka I passed out).

Things are starting to get a little nerve-racking lately. By the end of the week things will have drastically changed (for the better, I hope) and change is hard to deal with at times. He (the bf) did mention how maybe all of this will make us work harder into moving in together and how he doesn’t feel any of this will change us. It is always nice to have a little reassurance..Β  so I am starting not to worry about us that much any more. I just can’t waste time on the unknown. I must have faith that we will be okay at the end of the day, because as much as I preach, everything will be okay in the end. Everything IS done for a reason, and anything meant to be will find a way. All I do know is that I love this man very much and frankly, that’s all that matters.

For now, I want to focus on myself. Get MY shit together and have everything else fall into place.

I have faith.

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Friday 19/83 (1/25)

Wednesday of next week, I will be 8 weeks out. I am a little nervous but 2 months I believe, should be enough time. I don’t have a lot of weight to lose but it seems like when you hit 8 weeks the time flies. If I do not feel comfortable in 6-7 weeks I will opt for a show a little later. I believe there is one a week or two after that I was looking into so that will at least give me a little more time.

However, Wednesday of this week was an off day for me. Not because I wanted one but because life didn’t think I should work out. Lol.. My boyfriend ended up becoming stranded with no car so I had to move some things around. I went home and prepared a few meals and by the time I put the lids on, I had to pick him up at the train station. No big deal though (and no I didn’t beat myself up like I usually do), I was sore in all sorts of places!

 

Meal Prepping! Chicken and Brown Rice :)

Meal Prepping! Chicken and Brown Rice πŸ™‚

photo 2

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We grabbed some sushi and got home in time for me to watch the season finale of American Horror Story (my ALL TIME FAVORITE SHOW!!!!!). Passed out shortly after.

My favorite is the second from the left, called Nikko. Shrimp and Avocado (that I take off) over spicy crunch crab with cucumber.

My favorite is the second from the left, called Nikko. Shrimp and Avocado (that I take off) over spicy crunch crab with cucumber.

Thursday (yesterday), I did 45 solid minutes of chest. I was working out for an hour but won’t count it as such because I caught myself starring into space a few times. I don’t know what it was (maybe no pre workout, tired.. idk). I took a little more time in between sets but hey I at least got my ass to the gym. I finished with 15 minutes of stairs.

Definitely sticking with 15 minutes of cardio no matter how bad I want to do more. I need to preserve this ass!

Food wise I am still going strong. Sushi knocked me a little (the sauce is always high in fat/calories), but too be honest I skipped 2 meals on accident so I don’t think it hurt me too bad. I usually have a cheat meal on the weekends but I am going to keep it healthy.

My food for the 8 hours I am at work. Greek Yogurt, Apple, Banana, Almonds, Chicken Brown Rice Broccoli and a Quest Bar (not shown).

My food for the 8 hours I am at work. Greek Yogurt, Apple, Banana, Almonds, Chicken Brown Rice Broccoli and a Quest Bar (not shown).

My life is slowly but surely coming together, or I am getting better at handling the stress. Money issues, car issues, school issues are still.. well, issues but I am starting to allow God to get me thru them. I am headed over to my aunts after work and hopefully can get some insight on my life. It’s nice talking and getting advice some times, although I know I am going to cry once or twice.. I just know it! Ol well, sometimes I just need to let go..

I did however get my first online client of the year. So with that I am not going to go into detail about my work outs that much because that wouldn’t be fair to the folks that pay for it. I don’t mind answering any and all questions though!

Nothing really planned for the weekend. I do have an appointment to get my taxes done tomorrow and possibly a fishing show on Sunday but that’s as exciting as my weekend gets. I don’t mind (well not all the time. My Jeep is a gas guzzler and I am piss ass broke), I enjoy resting and spending time with my Mom. I think I should take her out for a little lunch date though.. It will be a nice hour or two.

Well.. that is all my friends. Going to do full body work out today (at my aunt’s house because LA Fitness closes at 10 and there’s no way I would be able to get there in time and NO WAY I am missing another work out), Hamstrings Saturday, and Shoulders on Sunday. I hope ya’lls weekend is a little more eventful than mine!

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Monday 8/83 (1/14)

Had a quiet/relaxing weekend. I find that since I live 45 minutes from not only my boyfriend but my girlfriends as well, that I stay home quite a bit. I don’t mind 75% of the time because I am one lazy motherfucker (not to mention a broke motherfucker as well), but that 25% of the time pisses me off. However, I don’t plan on changing anything anytime soon. School is starting soon. Mondays and Tuesdays I will be working from 9-5 then class from 6-9pm. The other class is still not posted which is a little bizarre to me considering it starts next Tuesday. I think this will be good for me though. Not only because I am slowly working on bettering myself ( I honestly wish I didn’t take this long to continue college, but it is what it is), but because I need to get out. I need something to put my mind at ease.The classes I am taking (health and wellness, contemporary health issues and principals of wellness coaching), are something I need for the career path I am trying to follow so I am definitely looking forward to that. It’s always nice to actually learn something that you are interested in. Hopefully this is a small stepping stone to a bigger part of my life. I might feel overwhelmed at first, so I am leaving the job search till the end of the month. I am creating little goals for myself in the time being (ie add/correct my resume, get organized ext). Small goals that will hopefully help me out in the long run so I think for now I am just going to deal with this job. I don’t want to deal with the added pressure of starting 3 classes and putting extra effort in starting a new job. I already know that I don’t want to waitress or bar-tend. I want to be in the fitness industry again. I don’t care if it’s front desk at a gym I just want to be in that atmosphere. Even if I took a pay cut, the travel from Grayslake to Northbrook costs me an entire weeks pay. However I think this could wait.

Sushi Date!

Sushi Date!

Back to the weekend.. Friday night the boyfriend and I had a cute little date night at a local sushi place. It’s kind of been our go to sushi since the place we go to (Dragon Fly) is in the city. This place didn’t get good reviews at all which him and I were both surprised about. We have our two rolls (Nikko and Crunchy Flower) that we will always get but this time tried 2 new ones. They weren’t bad but they were huge and pretty much fell apart before I could get it into my mouth which pissed me off (no joke… literally pissed me off. I feel I need anger management sometime. No lie.. It’s not that I like to get angry it just happens.. It like builds up over NOTHING. INSTANTLY!!!! Or maybe I am just bi polar. However.. later on I need to go talk to someone. I don’t need medicine nor do I want it. I just want answers.. or a better understanding of why the FUCK my mind works the way it does). We left the restaurant and had intentions of going to Mavericks which is a country bar about 15 minutes away with some of my friends. We ended up just going back to my place because my boyfriend wasn’t feeling well. He had to be up early anyways so it was okay. Besides.. I love just spending alone time with him so I didn’t mind.
Marley was a good girl at the vet so she got a treat :)

Marley was a good girl at the vet so she got a treat πŸ™‚

Woke up early and had to take Marley to the vet for her annual check up and rabies shot. She got her nails trimmed too because they were so long. I excused myself from the room because last time she did that she cried and looked at me with such sadness that I felt horrible. However listening to her from even outside the room wasn’t that better 😦 But as soon as I walked back in her tail was wagging and she seemed to be doing just fine. $200 later.. back to being broke till Tuesday. I was surprised that I had that little in my bank account but it is what it is.

Breakfast!

Breakfast!

I made breakfast and a couple hours later went to the gym. Still doing full body work outs and 30 minutes cardio. Afterwards made myself a protein shake (been LOVING them lately. Have actually been using greek yogurt instead of protein powder. 1. because I’m broke.. mhmmm it’s like $35 and 2. because it’s actually pretty convenient and none of that added bullshit. It has 18g of protein and 7g of carbs). I fell asleep for about 2 hours and then cleaned my room like a mad man. Still need to go thru my clothes because I am convinced I am a hoarder when it comes to that. I hate throwing away clothes thinking I MIGHT want to wear it one day. Ol well. I also put some of my (ex boyfriends gifts) crap on ebay. The new app makes it SO easy. Check it out if you want anything Coach (hand bags and shoes), I also have 2 watches up for sale (shititsmar). Took it easy the rest of the night and passed out pretty early.

The boyfriend didn’t get home till about 2:30am from a project he was trying to finish up in a couple hours.. that didn’t go as planned. So I woke him up around 12 figuring we would get together shortly after. He called and said he needed to go back so that was a bummer. It was my rest day and I had all this time on my hands haha. I cleaned up a bit more and decided to get to the gym even though I could of taken the day off. I cooked up some pancakes (threw PB and Jelly on them) and ate that for my post work out. I made these before (up in Wisco when I decided not to go out fishing), and it was AMAZING. It tasted better when it was actual pancake mix but you cant hate on PB&J regardless. My boyfriend was upset I made it without him but I promise I will (were going back next weekend so I GOTTCHU).

My favorite flavor. Bananas Strawberries and Coconut!

My favorite flavor. Bananas Strawberries and Coconut!

This time I did the back ext machine, and some ab work outs and finished with 20 minutes on the stair master and 40 minutes on the treadmill. Made another protein shake and waited for the boy to arrive. We ended up going to Applebee’s (I was in the mood for a salad) but ended up getting steak and potatoes.. another fave of mine. I did eat a pretzel stick and a bite of a brownie but kept it really clean. I have been snacking thru out the weekend (had some chocolate.. thank my period for that one.. I kid.. I just used that as an excuse and a 200 calorie serving of pizza). I have been super good this week though. I really want to put my all into this.

My food from Applebee's! Yum.

My food from Applebee’s! Yum.

My 200 calorie serving of pizza.

My 200 calorie serving of pizza.

I don’t know if I am going to take a full day off of working out this week because I will be up in Wisconsin this weekend. That means no gym.. however I swear the hike up to “spot” is a work out in itself. The only thing I am worried about is the drinking. I want to drink one night (as a “cheat”) and keep it clean the rest. We go grocery shopping so I am in control of that. I really don’t think we eat that bad (we grill a lot) but I am looking forward to a place we found not to far from the house. It has everything you could ever want to eat and is just awesome. Besides that I think its going to be a fine weekend. Nothing too extravagant, which I prefer.

Keeping my cardio to 30 minutes still, but will be splitting up body parts (ie back, shoulders ext each having their own day) this week. I will still have 1 cheat meal and won’t be taking anything out just yet. I have to stay on top of the time and how long I really do have to prepare for this show. Eventually my fruit will go, my carbs will lessen, and my salt intake will drastically decrease. You would think this would upset someone, however I am super excited for the changes!

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Another day in the life..

After another shit show of a weekend I am done contemplating my relationship with Mike. Even after all the bullshit we have been through, I am done worrying. I am done over thinking, over analyzing, simply wasting my time. I am done with it all. I have finally come to the conclusion that we are with out a doubt 100% in love with each other. I obviously know he loves me and that I love him, but after this weekend I feel it.. Most likely because we get put in situations where he professes his love for me time and time again, but the reassurance is so comforting it takes all the doubt away.

I won’t go into the details of our little rendezvous but just know that it was well worth it.

Besides that, my weekend was actually pretty decent. Friday night I just went to the gym for a little bit then came home and passed out around 1120pm. Saturday woke up around 7am in time to wake the boyfriend up to head to the shop by 8. After he was taken care of, I usually pass back out but instead I tidied up a bit and headed back to the gym. I am finally starting to see progress which always makes me a little happy inside and always a good start to my constant need of motivation. After the gym I finished up my laundry and took an hour power nap. Woke up and headed out to Ashley’s house. Picked her up and went to Target for a few things I needed to get for Christmas presents. We are the worst when it comes to shopping.. we literally want e v e r y t h i n g (example: see photo below) πŸ˜‰

See? New slippers from Target :)

See? New slippers from Target πŸ™‚

Meaning we looked around the entire store at which point my stomach was getting painfully hungry. She had ideas of pizza and obviously had she caught me at a “idgaf” time I would of agreed, however I wanted to stay clean. We went to Jason’s Deli and I got a whole wheat wrap with turkey and tomatoes (ranch on the side) with some steamed veggies.

Turkey wrap!

Turkey wrap!

We then went back to her place and just chilled for a few hours while we figured out what we wanted to do. Her brother and some friends were going bowling but I wasn’t about to decline plans with my boyfriend to hang out with a bunch of guys.. that sure as fuck wouldn’t of went down smoothly so instead we waited till around 10pm to get ready to go out to a bar a town or two over. She ended up curling my hair (I have naturally curly hair and hate it.. so the entire time I was said she can’t get pissed if I don’t like it haha).. but I did and it looked cute even if my outfit didn’t.. (I wasn’t planning on going out so yes.. I looked like a scumbag). We left around 1130pm and met up with my boyfriend and a few of his friends. Ashley wasn’t drinking and I didn’t plan on it.. but of course I took a shot.. then another.. but only ended up taking 4 which is good for me.

The boyfriend and I at the Donkey Inn on Saturday.

The boyfriend and I at the Donkey Inn on Saturday.

After the spiff we encountered, I got home around 6am and passed out instantly, fully clothed and all. Slept till 2pm then headed home. I didn’t eat anything till my boyfriend came over around 6pm when we went to a sushi place down the street. We ordered about 4 rolls and was actually pretty happy with the place.

The 3rd from the left, nikko, was our favorite.

The 3rd from the left, nikko, was our favorite.

After dinner, he likes something sweet, so we headed about 10 miles away to get some frozen yogurt. Always a good time with the boyfriend (fat kids at heart). Went back to my place and we had a quiet evening. Over all the weekend went well and nothing to complain about.

Berry Simple Frozen Yogurt <3

Berry Simple Frozen Yogurt ❀

I am however super excited for another week to kick my ass in the gym so Mondays aren’t all that bad anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I love not doing anything but I’ve said before, when I get motivated it’s game over. All I want to do is prep my meals and slave away at the gym day in and day out. It’s a natural high and I feel so great and accomplished the next morning. See.. THIS is the cycle that I need, not the one I’ve been accustomed to lately. But nothing to worry about, I got this shit.

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It’s about that time..

So I haven’t been to the gym in 3 days. Besides all the excuses, I think mentally its okay.

Okay.. not “okay”, but something I can get passed. The extra weight I am carrying, does put a burden on my every day life.. mood.. attitude.. just about everything that consumes me on a daily basis.. however I am taking this and using it for the better. I am slowly piecing my life together, one day at a time.

I am dedicating the next 6 weeks to see how hard I can push myself. No cheats for 2 weeks. Just a ball to the wall type attitude. I know I can do this, so I will patiently wait to say I did it πŸ™‚

This past weekend was fun though. Spent time with the boy, went to dinner and got cupcakes (something we had planned to do for awhile now).. I took the dogs to the park and they had a great time. Marley on our second trip around just decided to lay down randomly because she was tired (or hot, it was beautiful out though), but she kept truckin like a good girl! I managed to knock out 200 lunges.. randomly.. just lunging away while I walked my doggies haha.. Ohhhh a sight to see.

Here are some pictures from this weekend:

As you can see, its pretty much all the food I ate. LMAO. Ugh.. def feeling it now. Actually feeling it so much that it doesn’t even appeal to me anymore (I mean it would if the situation arise, but so far I NEED to stick with this). I know my boyfriend is 100% supportive, as my mother and what not but I still find excuses to sleep rather go to the gym first. I am though, finding different ways to boost my energy that I seem to be lacking each and every day, but I am working on it. For this week, I want to focus on my eating and getting a work out in each day. After this week, I will be doing 2 a days just to knock them out. I am hoping that waking up early and getting a kick start to my day will benefit me (okay i know it will benefit me, but really? How awesome is sleeping in a bed?.. okay not as awesome as looking in the mirror and cheesing but a close second).
So.. with all this being said, my excuses have taken a toll and I am ready to give it 100% again.

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My birthday dinner turned semi shit show.

My birthday this year fell on Tequila Tuesday at work.. where guys usually stay after and play pool get rowdy and drink beer.. or tequila lol but I decided I wanted to go to Ra sushi I think the week before.. it just so happened that it worked out perfectly to go after work (yes and miss another work out lol).. home boy doesn’t get off till 6 so I had to wait around for an hour which I didn’t mind too bad.. cept I didn’t eat another meal anticipating I’d be eating at 730-8.. well.. we made it… in time for happy hour… which started at 10… lol. So 2 hours isn’t THAT bad.. but I’m a bitch.. and even worse WHEN I’M HUNGRY!! haha.. at least I apologize for acting out of hunger. wamp. haha

so .. why a 2 hour delay? Here are some pictures…

Me waiting some more..

Me taking a picture of Matt taking a picture..

I waited till 6 then had to go to his house to shower and walk his dog.. made a pit stop and headed back to the shop to scoop Matt up so we could go to dinner.. well I wait around even longer so they could finish there game of pool.. no biggie.. headed out.. we get to the gas station and pull into a pump next to Matt to wait for him to grab cigarettes// and his hoopee breaks down. Starter .. well…. doesn’t start. Wont turn.. spend a little bit of time and realize we need to tow it. I’m fucking hungry. My fault completely. I ALWAYS have snacks and I had extra food at work but I honestly thought Id get food in my stomach digesting sooner then 6 hours after my last meal. Ohhhhhhh happppppy birthday.. lol.

Alright.. well we work at a body shop and use a towing company relatively a lot. They STILL wanted $75 to tow it not even 2 miles.. yeah. okay. So we got a chain and the shops pick up truck and he towed my ass all the way to work. Not cool. Turns sucked.. and the second one I made the chain snapped… Mind you this chain was attached to his support beam. Yeah. Okay cool. Well uh the last 250 ft I was screaming out the window “get me the FUCK out of this car”.. at LEAST 4 times. Panic attack type shit. All I could hear was the chain and it just YANKING the car.. all I had was brakes on a 92 mustang. I couldn’t do SHIT. After I calmed down a bit he actually apologized for “ruining” my birthday but I was more worried he was pissed at the whole car situation.. I would be.. time is time..

Chain snapped..

Any who.. We hope in my car and head to Ra.. a sushi place in The Glen around the block. We make it there at 9:55.. 5 minutes till happy hour that I told everyone I didn’t want to go to because 10 was too late.. lol.. hmm.. We pull up and again.. fucking starving.. but I cant find my ID that I took out of his car literally 15 minutes prior.. Cant find this shit anywhere.. Searching my gym bag that I use as my purse like a tard that I am throws it in the back seat because I randomly find my passport.. lmfao.

Made it.

Whatever.We head inside and we order shots.. well the boy and I did.. Matt wouldn’t take shots of vodka… weirdo. and then the menugasm started.. fucking love sushi. That is all.That and this beautiful picture of our food.. which we actually were still missing 2 plates..I tried everything which is surprising.. Actually enjoyed most of it.. especially the short ribs (not pictured) was fucking kill. I would of ordered 3 more plates if I could.. well.. I could of but the bartender told me to save room because they were buying me dessert.Well don’t mind if I do.Picture NOT shown because my battery died almost instantly after I took the sushi picture lol.. but Matt has it because he said he’d take it.. only after the bartender lit the candle again because I clearly wanted my damn wish haha..

Birthday shot for the birthday girl!

Heaven.

Actually Matt just texted them to me.. Here is the dessert. Fried Ice cream.
They each had one and I had 1 and 3/4… no such thing as too many calories on your birthday lol.. πŸ˜‰
Got home around midnight but didn’t go to bed for a while.. he ended up staying over because well he lives in the opposite direction and me tired and driving doesn’t work well. Overall had a good night.. wasn’t anything special or extravagant but exactly what I wanted.. now HOW I “expected” (never expect a damn thing in life).. but it was a good night. Spending some time in the city this weekend to celebrate and have a little more fun before school and my “life” starts getting overwhelming again. lol.. joy.
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Day 53 She’s afraid of being free

Suddenly..

She feels lost in her own life
Treading water just to keep from slipping under
And she wonders if she’s where she’s supposed to be
Tired of trying to do it right
Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she’s making might be taking her to who she’ll be

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose
If she moves away from who she was
And she’s afraid of being free
There’s a way she knows is right
And she can’t feel the things she knows and so each step she’s taking
Is a step of faith towards who she’ll be

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

And here where the night is darkest black
She feels the fear
And the light is farthest back
And through her tears
She can see the dawn
Its coming skies will clear
And the light will find her where she’s always been

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

Superchick ❀

My day in pictures…

Β 

BACK ATTACK WORKOUT!

Assisted lat pull down set atΒ 
135lbs
2x 12reps120lbs
3x10repsUnilateral row
45lbs
2x 12reps60lbs
1x10reps

85lbs
1x6reps lol

Back Ext
25lbs
3x12reps

Wide grip rowΒ 
65-100lbs
4x 12 10 8 6

5 min Planks

30min treadmill
Incline 10-15
Mph 2.8-3.2

15min elliptical
Intensity 10 for 10 min
5 for 5 min

=D

So that was my day. The song lyrics just described everything I was feeling.. and I am at lost for words. Today was an overall good day. I missed a meal, and that was my own fault. Pushed hard during my workout, and feel the desire for greatness again… now lets see how long I can keep the flame burning. The pictures are of my trip to whole foods (1st picture besides the screen shot is my basket at one point, the one after that is added stuff), the third picture is my trip to Jewel (yes all in the same day), and then my meal after my workout πŸ™‚ Pretty eventless day, lets say our prayers for a tomorrow..Β 

Goodnight ❀

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Day 44 We can do anything we want to do if we stick to it long enough.

Wow… the days are just adding up eh?

But when I think about it, that’s like 6 weeks.. you would think ID BE COMPLETELY FLAWLESS BY NOW!!!!! haha… not exactly.Β  Sorry that’s my impatient rant of the day again.. I’M GETTING BETTER I PROMISE!! it takes time, and now the way I look at is, is these are the days of the rest of my life. I will never be over weight, uncomfortable ever again. I will be healthy from here on out :):):):)

Any who.. what do you think 4 weeks of straight binging would do to someone?

At THOUSANDS of calories a day?

Do you think the weight is just going to fall right off? Lol it takes time, and for someone like myself I should know this.. Starving yourself will only get you sicker, and mentally even worse, and throwing up , honestly I think the loss of then enamel on my teeth is because of throwing up for years (all the acid).. that and I have chronic acid reflux (actually had it as a baby) but it’s only gotten worse since throwing up (NO I do NOT throw up or starve myself anymore).

All this progress is healthy eating/living. So for any of you that say you wish you had my body, ext ext.. you can.

But will you sacrifice something for it? Desserts, sugar, simple carbs, fast food ext??

And there is where people tend to stop listening or asking questions πŸ˜‰

Woke up super late this morning.

Mom was actually the one to wake me up.. and all I did was press snooze and I wake up 10 min before Im usually on the road.. no big deal I wasnt late or anything.. actually forgot to put my make up on. lol

Made a shake though.. running out of flavors to make..

830am Vanilla Whey, Maca/ Superblend Powder, coconut oil and coconut flakes with water and ice.

1030am Had to run some errands. First when to ABT and saw that there was a red mango across the street. Ive never had red mango, but Ive sure as FUCK wanted it.. So I actually wait about 20 min in the car because it didn’t open till 11am.. (even though I found out they WERE open) haha.. I walk in and start asking so many questions the dude just hands me the nutrition book..

I was literally on the verge on leaving with out getting anything 😦 because he said there was added sugar. FUCK.

NOT COOL. but he said the vanilla one didn’t, and I saw that it only had about 12g of sugar. nbd πŸ™‚ I got a little strawberry and not even a spoonful of dark chocolate bites.

Ate that on the road while I went to extreme graphics and picked up some shit that Ron ended up not even liking.. ol well.

1245pm Headed to Whole Foods after. Got 2 chicken breasts and some smoked almonds. Ate /2 of the chicken breast.

Just found out I received my financial aid, nothing what I thought I would get.. I think for the year I got 2000????????? UGHHH why do I always have to be stressed? Fine.. no big deal… I’ll just wait till tomorrow to have someone explain it to me.

Pretty simple today. Sorry going to be a boring blog post after all.. So about 430pm I ate another part of the chicken breast. Didn’t eat much because I was going to stay after work for tequila tuesday and was actually super pumped to stay..

530pm I realized Nikki was going to come and so it just so happened that Eric and I got into a little tiff.. He completely denies it, is actually taking nikki’s side. It was unbelievable. I have the ENTIRE convo on my phone between greg and i, greg and eric, and nikki and I. and THEY ARE STILL LYING ABOUT ITTTT!! and then I had to throw Mike in there because he was a witness and later after I left he told mike it never happened.. oh.. okay. Doesn’t matter Nikki lost a friend, I never had one in her.

630pm Got home, traffic sucked. Walked Marley played with her a bit. Made ground turkey and onions, it was pretty good.

8-1am I went out. lol. and I NEVER go out. I didn’t even anything bad, but didn’t study like I wanted too.

Went to bed around 3am.

Didn’t work out today. Usually have Wednesdays off but I was SUPPOSE to study :/ lol..

Goodnight ❀

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