Tag Archives: Truth

No, this post was not hacked. I’m just growing up. 

I find myself grinning from ear to ear inside, so no one knows. All they see is this poker face I display for the world to see. 

That’s all they get. I’m special. I know I am. I am going places in life and although I’ve been treading water for some time now, I have yet to exhaust all my efforts. 

My time will come. Until then, I am enjoying this road of self discovery. School is tough. Probably always will be considering I will continue attending full time and working full time.. But this won’t be forever. The projects I have due mainly involve life experiences, and in doing so, I am finding my life to be quite impressive. My mother was right, (okay Justine you were too), I don’t give myself enough credit. When I get stopped by random members at the gym and go into a little detail of my hectic life, their reactions alone make me aware of just how hard I am working. 

Clients in the morning, school for a few hours, then back to another location to train 8 or so clients. Everyday I clock in to one or another location. I find the 12 minute tan, or a late start of 11 on Fridays, to be my down time. I’m usually tired, can squeeze in a cat nap here and there.. But don’t mind being incredibly busy because I feel if I had nothing to do, I’d do just that.. nothing. At one point I felt worthless because I wasn’t doing anything with my time .. And now that I have none to spare, it makes you appreciate the simplest things.. (Or make you quite irritable when people don’t respect it). 

I thank God every day for finally opening my eyes.. my heart.. but more so my mind. The woman I am becoming is something to be proud of. 

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Dear God,

I did not sleep well last night,
But I did wake up.
My muscles are sore,
But they work.
My wallet is not full,
But my belly is.
I may not have all I want,
But I have all I need.
My life is not perfect,
But my life is good.

Thank you!

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I am staying strong for once.

I have been having anxiety lately.

From the shower, to today at work and I am praying that inside I’ll feel okay. Because in my heart, I know it will be.

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The ever so anticipated progress pictures:

No explanations, no validations no more disclaimers (besides this one, that is)..

After AM show this is what I ate….

and then this is what I looked like (bloated) after breakfast..

…..btw have NO idea why my pictures are turning sideways and upside down lol. I apologize.

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Day 72 Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.

Okay so I apologize that yesterdays (or what you got today) was pointless.. Mondays and Wednesdays are SUPER draining as it is, and then you add training and  “dieting” and its like wtf. So I was having a semi nervous breakdown this morning (no thanks to my mother, but thats another time), and it seem to carry on to about mid morning. Stupid things were going wrong.. its like I couldn’t fully function lol. I am adding some more carbs (SLIGHTLY nothing drastic, just 1/4 c dry oats after a strenuous working).. I am realizing in class just how important they are, and how few weeks you should go without them. Now don’t get me wrong, I knew carbs (COMPLEX = GREAT CARBS), were good for you (just like GOOD FATS ARE TOO!!!!), but didn’t know how much. Now it does differ with everyone. Honestly, I could tell you what I do, and you guys read what I do, but everyone is different and may not work for you. You could be trying harder than I am and vice versa.. or I ate a few (shit ton) more almonds than you… lol.. there is always going to be different factors (even BMR lololol jk ill shut up now..), but in the end, I think the point is clear…

..GET MOVING AND QUIT EATING SHIT!

Guys sorry for all the rambling but since my instagram account is kinda blowing up a bit, I have been receiving a few questions (which is awesome obviously), but it’s simple and PLEASE do not get into all the equations and shananagins..Do you honestly think that Mcdonald’s is benefiting your weight loss goals? Do your part and make choices that will positively affect your life. You are what you eat remember.. Sorry.. I don’t want to be a piece of shit.

The Food Log

All liquids DRANK! (water and 1 1/2 powerades)

 830am Protein Shake (Dymatize, 1/2 water, 1/2 muscle egg, some PB2, ice)

1130am 10…turned into 12-14 almonds. lol (SEE extra calories..so I drank some tea and water a little longer for an actual meal because it seemed to have helped the cravings for food.

230pm Chicken Asparagus MUSTARD!!

505pm Chicken and Mustard and I think 10 more almonds lmfao… sorry.

9pm Protein Shake (Dymatize, Pb2, 1/4c oatmeal, ice) <– LOVE.

The Workout

Incline Chest Press (sat by the 2 cuter boys of the gym on accident).

Took 25’s started and had to put them back.. way to easy…

30 (wanted 35lbs but the whole stack of weights was empty :/)

30lbs x 15 x 1
30lbs x 12 x 2
30lbs x 8 x  1

Then I kind of stopped and looked around because EVERYTHING was taken… I decided that I was going to do triceps and chest (which WORKS out perfectly, because in most excerises you use the same muscles), but because I seemed to have lacked them last work out. So I was looking around and no chest or tricep machine was open.. okay so I was thinking of what to do to improvise, till I notice the free motion “ish” machine was open, and as I was walking up I thought someone said something and I looked back and it was the 2 cuties and he was like “oh, I didn’t say anything” and I apologized and then he asked if I was going to the machine (I was walking up too), and then asked if I wanted to super set with all of them. I don’t normally do that but it was awesome because he spotted me on a few I would have never of gotten. It felt AWESOME… but I have no one to lift with.. :/ lol anywho

Cable Flyes

50lbs x 12 x 1
50lbs x 8 x 1
80lbs x 4 x 1
105lbs x 0 x 0 lol. I couldn’t even more it… so I was like… I;m leaving. And I walked away into the yoga rooms.

Plyo Time.. 

Box Jumps. Jump Squats. Tricep (BW) Dips.

10 x 10 x 20 x 4

then

5 Min Planks*Arms were killing right here….*

then I left and went to the pec dec 🙂

40-65lbs 8-10 reps

30 Min Stairmaster – Interval HIIT (kinda…..)

Day 72 in Pictures..

  1. My Powerade problem lol.
  2. Want some asparagus with that mustard?
  3. Post Workout Munchie… (salt free cake, protein almond butter, coconut shreds).
  4. Just leaves it out so I can see it… :/
  5. Greek yogurt (plain), mixed with a packet of stevia, and a dollop of PB.. omg. I want to try!!!

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Day 62 Bikini Challenge

So fuck it. I was going to do this blog solely on my bikini choices.. But I think I am just going to go with this one, except the diamonds will be a black chain..

I really wanted pink.. Then I really wanted blue.. UGH…… fuck it.. I need to order this asap.

Update. I fucking just spent two hours with my home dawn going over bikinis. Remember when I posted before, LONNNNGGGGGGGG AGOOOOOOO, it was Jennifer Stano’s bikini and it was oh so sexy. well, I had recently seen her website fell in love with her then randomly found her on instagram one day. I commented on something regarding the bikini lol and she told me it wasn’t being produced at the moment.

Major 😦

So any who after she requested to follow me (I was on private, but YAY!!), I stalked her pictures and she has probably one of the best styles I have ever come across. Any who… I really wanted this bikini and was super stressing. So we decided to do a little spin off (I was going to do the same style but suitsyouswimwear doesn’t have a thick black chain) and give her credit in some way (inspired by..Jennifer blah you get it).. but we changed a thing or two.. (still give MAJOR credit to her and still will) but heres a pic to understand a little bit..

Pretty much the only thing that is really different is I am going to have a gold chain instead of black 😦 I really wanted black.. but the chain is a tad different. We were originally going to do the navy blue with the gold, then I went back to the coral then got super stressed… any who. I got it under control. I still have to wait to take my measurements (and def paying extra in shipping as a cause of me being the procrastinator of the year).. But just so every can see what I am dealing with.. these are the two colors. It is pretty much Jennifers cut of bikini, with the chain, but either the gold chain (because I don’t have the black in that cut), with the coral or the navy blue. Just picture it please. lol.

The Food Log

11am (yes this is the time I woke up, 1030 to be exact lol)… had my liquid egg whites and a artichoke 🙂
230pm Chipotle. One of my last days at chiptole lol.. 😦 aweee man.
530pm Made some lace cookies that failed. Also made black bean brownies.. Will try those in an hour or so…
715pm Don’t know what I am going to go make, but trying one of those brownies.. oh boy.

I didn’t look at the time but I have eaten another 3oz of steak, 1/2c corn, 1 rice cake, 2 tbs protein pb, and 3 strawberries. I don’t want to get rid of my almond butter and fruit…. but were getting closer lol. eeeeeeeek!

The Work Out

Deadlifts

60lbs x 12 reps x 2
80lbs x 8-10reps x 2

Lunges

60lbs x 20reps x 5=

100 TOTAL LUNGES!

Planks. Bosu Ball. Jump Squats. 10 minutes.

Abduction/abbduction.

Day 62 in Pictures..

  1. Finally tried my muscle egg..okay had my mother try it first but it was pretty good and super convenient.
  2. Also had an artichoke (with olive oil and garlic dipping sauce) thanks to Jenna Marbles
  3. Post Work Out (legs) Killed it. Second to last chipotle meal for a month.
  4. Take home exam.
  5. Lmfao. Ill post this recipe, but I believe this picture was before, not after (not like it would of mattered) but you should see them now. They did NOT turn out and I have no idea why. I followed everything except adding the vanilla. So I put them in a container. They hardened up a bit and I tried them again and OMG. They taste awesome. Its pretty much just almonds and cocoa powder haha so not THAT bad for you, but I am addicted. I don’t know what I did wrong but I hope to do it again. This time I think I will just cook it like brownies (and not shape them like cookies because they didn’t even hold together).
  6. So since that was a failure, I tried to do black bean brownies.
  7. But they taste like ass. No joke. They said to add 2 WHOLE BANANAS!!! ( I only added 1 and 1/2 and you can SMELL THE BANANAS IN THEM!!!!!!!) ugh lol.. but I got high and came home (and since its the weekend/cheat meal I didn’t care) cut a slice and cut up a strawberry and warmed it all up and it was awesome. lol. but not cold. cold they taste like shit.
  8. I made this for a meal (but 2 steaks) ate one, my mom ate 1/2 and I ate the other 1/2 when I came home. I literally had a buffet in front of me.
  9. What my fridge/freezer looks like (only bc I keep throwing shit away and my mom hasn’t noticed yet).
  10. Competition throw back 🙂

So today was a good day. Went to the gym, had a nice leg work out. Enjoyed lunch by myself to clear my head before my take home exam. Did that, graded it and without the 3 written questions I got like 4 wrong. Ol well. Baked a little, did some laundry. Was going to do another set of cardio but I was running out of time (excuses) and I simply didn’t want to. I gave myself the weekend to take a few deep breaths in order to start Monday off with a bang. Monday is going to be super long. Will get more into that tomorrow (Sunday, yes I know you are reading this on sunday.. Remember blogs will always be a day off lol)… but yeah chilled, mike came over and helped me with my bikini deciding. Still don’t know if I am going to keep that color but I think it’ll be good.. Fuck. Now that I am writing about it I am thinking about it more.. O m g. Should I do the coral color or the blue color with the gold chains????

So look at the bikini up top (in the coral/pink color on JS) and picture it with gold chains. Yes,? No?

Now picture that bikini in this royal blue, with the GOLD chains.. yes? no? but look how cute royal blue and gold look……

 

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

❤ ❤ ❤ Enjoy your weekend!!

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