Tag Archives: whole foods

Grocery shopping.. 101.

So as I was grocery shopping last night, I realized how many people stand there looking at the back of whatever they just picked up. Now.. there is NOTHING wrong with this, for I do it constantly (okay maybe not constantly because I buy the same things majority of the time), but when I find something new and interesting I instantly flip it over. But do these people have any idea what they are looking for? I HIGHLY doubt it.. but I’m all for giving people the benefit of the doubt.

Do you know what I go for?
No not the calories.
Not the carbs.. not even the fats..

The ingredients.

I don’t know if people just don’t care, or don’t know what they are looking for but it’s easy. This whole fitness “phase” (I swear I see a new diet everyday, a new “magic” pill etc), but eating clean isn’t a hard concept to grasp. Like I have said before, it’s the dedication and motivation that’s challenging.

It’s simple.

Eat WHOLE foods. Foods at their natural state.. this means the less processed they are.

Here is an example:

Now.. I don’t ever buy things in packages like this, or even pick them up for that matter (I stick to the outside of the grocery store where the food is perishable..hence why I go shopping probably 3x a week lol)… but this is why. It’s a bag of “sweet potato” chips. Now.. ignore the nutrition facts and look above to the ingredients. Sweet potatoes are the FOURTH ingredient!!!!! Granted there isn’t a lot of ingredients (a long list of ingredients is a sign to put that shit back), but this defeats the purpose of calling them sweet potato chips don’t you think? This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this.. but the first time I stopped and actually was in disbelief.

What I left with that day..

See how all my food would go bad if left out for a few days? This is what you want, and what your body needs. (please excuse the russell stover smores.. they are amazing and for my mother. However I advise everyone to try one before they die. It’s like that).

My tips while grocery shopping:

  • The less ingredients the better (and make sure you can actually pronounce that shit).
  • Sugar should be the furthest on the list, or 86’d completely.
  • When buying items, like whole wheat pastas or breads, the first ingredients NEEDS TO BE WHOLE WHEAT!!!!!!! I cannot stress this enough.
  • Stick to the outside of the store. This is where you will find your fruits veggies, and meats. Pretty much the staples of my “diet”.

We need to stop counting calories and start paying attention to the things that actually matter.

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Tomorrow you said yesterday.

730am Sunday Morning..


Had thoughts about not caring about what I eat today (I am currently on a two week “binge”). I think the reason for this is because I normally start on Mondays, the beginning of the week. Or on an even numbered day. Yes. I had bad OCD when I was in the midst of my eating disordered days. I was an even girl. Volume on the TV was the worst :/ Oh, that and counting my steps. Probably why I ALWAYS look down.. I don’t know nor do I care to go in depth because I am over it 🙂
 
Off topic once again (my ADD lol) I don’t want to. I want to feel sexy again.
 
Now listen, I’m not fat, and I haven’t gained THAT much weight back from a few weeks ago..BUT I am in the uncomfortable stage..which I think I should set limits to (WHICH IS NOT GOOD I MIGHT ADD!). I don’t know my weight and I don’t think I would weigh myself till I KNEW the number would be acceptable..(yes I am starting to sound like I use too)..but honestly bare with me. Before back when I binged, I ate so much and was so uncomfortable bloated that I honestly thought the only thing I could do was puke it up. But I would ALWAYS stop myself. I thought that if I started back with my old tendencies that it would be like when I quit smoking cigs, one day I ONLY HAD A DRAG and I bought a pack the next day (thanks Meredith you asshole!)..but thats what I thought. I thought if I stuck my fingers down my throat that I would fall back to my bulimic days. Which I think I am still suffering from..my acid reflux has never been the same, but the biggest thing is the enamel on my teeth.It is literally stripped (I wouldn’t be surprised if one day I was told I had gum cancer..because I could press on my gums and they’d bleed).
 
Alright I am getting off topic ONCE again. Today is going to be prep day. My sister is leaving for her dads today so I can finally get all organized again. My meals will for the most part be all cooked. Well see how much I even got on my last Whole Foods trip. I am so broke right now it is actually getting a little scary. After the competition, then this damnlawyer shit..it’s all my fault but it sucks. I am literally working for free right now. Fuck anyways.. My personal life is affecting my overall fitness goals and that sucks. I am trying to separate the two, and after my court date I think I am going to definitely make the right changes in order to do so.

The Food Log

8am 1/2 cup greek yogurt with 1 tbs almond butter on a piece of ezekiel bread.
11am PB and J Quest Bar.
2pm- Any protein veggie mix (could have a carb if I'd like).
530pm- Protein and veggie mix.
9pm- Caesin Shake .
Yes I know I posted this and its not the end of the day but it’s sunday and I can control what meals I have and when. This will be my food log for the day. I just wanted to send out the blog before noon, hopefully get more followers asking questions :):)

The Workout

Hack Squat
5 sets total 12,12,10,8,8
Supersetted with
Wall Sits
5 sets total 30-45 seconds each.
Front Squat
50lb start, rep till failure
Superset w/Single Legged Squat
BW 8-10 reps EACH leg
Leg Ext
85lbs ^
 


Staying positive for the next few days to come. Will take it day by day, but I know I'll get there.
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Day 53 She’s afraid of being free

Suddenly..

She feels lost in her own life
Treading water just to keep from slipping under
And she wonders if she’s where she’s supposed to be
Tired of trying to do it right
Her dreams are just too far away to see how steps she’s making might be taking her to who she’ll be

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

She feels locked in her own life
Scared of what she might lose
If she moves away from who she was
And she’s afraid of being free
There’s a way she knows is right
And she can’t feel the things she knows and so each step she’s taking
Is a step of faith towards who she’ll be

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

And here where the night is darkest black
She feels the fear
And the light is farthest back
And through her tears
She can see the dawn
Its coming skies will clear
And the light will find her where she’s always been

And suddenly it isn’t what it used to be
And after all this time it worked out just fine
And suddenly i am where i’m supposed to be
And after all the tears, i was supposed to be here

Superchick ❤

My day in pictures…

 

BACK ATTACK WORKOUT!

Assisted lat pull down set at 
135lbs
2x 12reps120lbs
3x10repsUnilateral row
45lbs
2x 12reps60lbs
1x10reps

85lbs
1x6reps lol

Back Ext
25lbs
3x12reps

Wide grip row 
65-100lbs
4x 12 10 8 6

5 min Planks

30min treadmill
Incline 10-15
Mph 2.8-3.2

15min elliptical
Intensity 10 for 10 min
5 for 5 min

=D

So that was my day. The song lyrics just described everything I was feeling.. and I am at lost for words. Today was an overall good day. I missed a meal, and that was my own fault. Pushed hard during my workout, and feel the desire for greatness again… now lets see how long I can keep the flame burning. The pictures are of my trip to whole foods (1st picture besides the screen shot is my basket at one point, the one after that is added stuff), the third picture is my trip to Jewel (yes all in the same day), and then my meal after my workout 🙂 Pretty eventless day, lets say our prayers for a tomorrow.. 

Goodnight ❤

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Day 48-52 For someone who doesn’t like excuses, I sure have a shit ton.

Ah. Jeez. So sorry.

😦

I wish I had like a reasonable excuse as to why it has been 5 days since my last post, but I don’t.

Friday I completed my blog (it was boring, so its sitting unpublished lol), and did my 45 min of cardio that night.
Saturday morning I woke up (1130) and did 30 min of cardio on an empty stomach, and sort of rushed the rest of the time.

Around 1230 (after showering and eating) I headed out on a mini road trip, so for the weekend day 48/49 will be better off explained via pictures 🙂

So Sunday I get back. Apparently I ate BBQ chips the night before 😦 and a lot more alcohol then I had wanted too :/ So I was a little weird about that. So what do I do? Eat like shit. Why? The only excuse I could come up with is I was hungover. So I ate, nothing too bad but a whole lot of nothing healthy.

Part of Mondays Binge.

Monday comes along. I feel like shit still. Haven’t been sleeping. Start day 2 of binge.

Enter embarrassing details here.

Tuesday comes along. I feel like shit still, only one to blame is myself. That and fucking pot. Start day 3 of binge.

Enter even more embarrassing details here.

Wednesday comes along. I still feel like shit. I knew I was going to feel like shit. I am SO FUCKING OVER IT.

I have been driving home in silence lately.. trying to figure out my ways of self destruction. I literally talk myself through it. I KNOW what I am doing. I KNOW how I will feel afterwards.. and what..? I still do it?

That makes a whole lot of fucking sense doesn’t it?
no?

YEAH NO FUCKING SHIT SHERLOCK.

Yet I have no excuse. And No I do not want comments saying its okay and todays a new day and shit like that because I know that.. I am not ruining today because of yesterdays..and the day before that were complete and utter shit. No.. I am simply trying to talk my way through this feeling/emotion/lack of dopamine/ whatever the fuck it is, I am trying to U N D E R S T A N D it. Because I don’t.

My mom thought it was because I like to punish myself. FUCK THAT. Why would I LIKE to punish myself? I feel like shit. I treat people like shit when I feel like shit. I get angry when really I am sad inside. and quite frankly I have YET to find joy in my pain/punishment.

I have yet to find a balance 😦 but as God is my witness, I will work each and everyday to try and find it 🙂

So today is Wednesday. I am on spring break from school (big deal lol) so I am going to leave work my usual 30-45min early just so I can get to the gym faster.
I am ready again. GO HARD.

But is it not bizarre that technically I “fell off” exactly 1.5 months in, exactly half way through? lol….. hmmmmm…. It’s allllll good.. I just have to step it up a bit and go fucking tanning. I swear if you are ever self conscious about your body, so spray tanning. Everyone looks good tan. I. am. not. kidding.

and I think I am FINALLY going to get my nails done :):) Its been WAY too long, but I am finally not broke haha.. My reimbursement for school came yesterday WITH MY INCOME TAXES BACK!!! HOLLLLAAAAAAAA… to bad I owe like $500 to people lol.. ol well.. 😦 That’s the price you pay for having fun lol..

but back to the basics.

745am This is now my wake up time. Exactly 15 min to get ready, and 15 min to walk Marley and make a protein shake lol. This was my beautiful baby this morning..

830am HALF OF A PROTEIN SHAKE, I gave the other half to my car. 1 scoop myofusion (nasty kind, DEF picking some good shit up today).  1/2 TBS Coconut Oil, and some c. shreds Ice and Water.

11am Snacked on 1/2 chicken breast and a CCCD Lara Bar.

and possibly some almonds.. look at all the fun stuff I got at Walgreens.. Seriously me with money is NOT good, especially because I need to go to GNC and I finally get to buy my MUSCLE EGGSSS!!! HELLLLLL YEAH! I need to get Glutamine and another jug of myofusion 🙂

The almonds are on sale for Buy 1 Get 1 Free 🙂 Like I said when I put the pic on instagram, careful they are ADDICTING!!!!

2pm Finishing 1/2 chicken breast and some more almonds. I will eat more later when I leave at 415ish

FINALLY FUCKING BOUGHT MUSCLE EGG!!!!!! HELLLLLL YEAH!! Cost me $75 but its chocolate EGG WHITES!!!

and then went to GNC after work and bought $55 worth of protein and a multi vitamin and 2 turbo teas 🙂 Picture will be in tomorrows blog.. 🙂

730pm

THE WORKOUT:

LEGGGSSSS FOR DAYYYYYYSSSS

Leg Press– Actually no.. I didn’t do leg press.. retard sally cakes thinks the gym is a playground and just chit chat BY the machine. Cool story bro.

Lunges– Only had 30lb DB in hand.. 2×20 reps=

100 TOTAL LUNGES!!

Squats– Went into studio for these.

15lb DB x 10 followed by
BW x 10

5 Min of Planks All supersetted. Sweating like a beast by now..

Leg Ext- Started with 135lbs lol. Maxxed out at 155lb.

Calf Raises 3×12 25lbs (my calves were cramping)

No cardio.

845pm Chipotle 🙂 Nuff said.

930pm Went to talk with a friend about a super big move that may take place soon 🙂 deets hopefully soon.

1130pm Had an AMAZING shake with the new products I got. Simply in LOVE with this flavor.

1/2c almond milk, almond butter, dymatize protein powder, a powder multi vitamin, ice and blend. So it sounds like its chocolate peanut butter but it has a WHOLE different taste, and its FANTASTIC 🙂

1145pm Went to update blog and my battery died.. So, sorry it’s just coming out now.. and I promise I wont go another week without updating lol.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 46 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Woke up at 7am =D Finally.

But never take a bubble bath right when you wake up. I wanted to stay there forever.

830am Vanilla Whey, Mini Banana, 1/2 cup coconut milk, 1TBS coconut shreds, 4 ice cubs. (IN LOVE WITH THIS RECIPE AND ONLY HAVE 2 MORE WEEKS TO ENJOY IT!!!!!) 😦

10am Was already starving, snacked on almonds.

1230pm Went to Whole Foods downtown because I needed to pick up some shit for my boss.

Seriously.. even this dude said something about it.. He has me go pick up shit from random people he  messages on craigslist… Whatever.. So as weird as it was, I said fuck it and and just typed in directions on how to get home.. and before you know it I was on North Ave where the Whole Foods was..

I got 1/4lb flank steak and  grilled cuban mojo (LOL) chicken breast.. $12.00 later.. lol.. So I ate the flank steak in the car headed home.

4pm Munched on some almonds because I am literally starving all the damn time. I need to start drinking more water. Ate this chicken breast from whole foods like stated earlier and it was delicious! 🙂 I took a pic of the ingredients too..

I made the 60 second chocolate cake because I was so needing something sweet and I really didnt want to binge.. I’ve been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO good ❤ ❤ ❤

I finished up part 1 of my homework.. Didn’t take long..  it was a discussion on 3 things we liked from this article that actually had to do with everything that intrigues me lol..

730pm Got ready for the gym..

BACCCK ATTACCCKKKKKK..

8pm Got to the gym.

Started with lat pulldowns.

Back Ext 3×10 reps 45lbs

Single Arm Row 45-60lbs

Underhand Row Maxed out at 120lbs.

30 Min Cardio

 

930pm Went home and made a protein shake. Lol.. I put applesauce and cranberries in it.. lmao.

10-12pm Went out and chit chatted with a few friends. Ate 8 almonds on the way home.

Rest of the night was whatever.. Kinda feeling a lil down in the dumps coming along.. hmmmmmmm weather…always being busy, never actually getting anything done, getting bitched at about my dog, eating late the fuck at night… getting high, needing to change some things in my life, constantly bitching and thinking the world revolves around me, wanting to be a better person, has sudden urges to cry, not depressed, just stressed and thinks crying lets a lot of emotion and fear go. 😦

 

I’ll figure it out.

Goodnight ❤

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Day 45 Boring Post.. move along.

Woke up late again. My own fault. Didn’t get to bed till 3am. Woke up at 7:50am (I usually leave at 8am).

830am Protein Shake: Vanilla Whey Coconut Shred, 1cup coconut milk 1/2 banana and ice YUM ❤

9-12pm Just snacking on almonds. I forgot all my food and I couldn’t leave.. 😦

207pm I had a brat. At least 250 calories.

425pm Headed to Whole Foods need 2 meals for tonight. I have a test today in Psych class, so I get to leave right after I am done.. shouldn’t be more then an hour which is nice. I really want to get a good work out in and I’m SUPER tired today.

Ate chicken breast in car……again……..

SQUUUUUATTTTSSSS LUNGGGESSSS AND LEG EXTSSS!!!! ❤

sorry.. super excited.

6-730pm Class started and we immediately started taking the test.. I honestly think I did OK.. I turned in some extra credit so that should help :):):)

Went home and ate some nachos 🙂 before legs.. A serving and half of pita chips (natural), ground turkey, onions, fat free moz cheese and a tablespoon of lite sour cream. SO GOOD.. Went  upstairs and chilled a bit then I started getting tired for some reason (actually I’ve been tired all day).. so i HAD to get up.

Got to the gym at 8pm.

Started with

S Q U A T S!!!!

45lbs on each side… didn’t think it was that much actually hahahaha and KILLED IT.. didnt do as many reps but i got down.. did this 3 times through.

so 90lbs x 8-10reps x 3

then I got interrupted by some dude. He was actually really nice but just an awkward conversation.. asked if I was married, with any one, here with anyone, do I have time to go out, can he take me out, like what the fuck.. I had to remove my headphones AND stop my workout.. do people not know how some work outs are.. no rest, little rest, ext? what the F U CK .. not to mention his friends were all like an arms length away and making fun of him, but like I saw he was really sweet so I wasn’t bitchy.. Though I did say I’d call him when I was done working out.. I just wanted to finish my sets 😦

After he left me be,

Took off 40 lbs and did 10reps at 50lbs 2 times through.

Lunges

40 lb x 100reps  <—- YUP!!!!

At this point I was DRENCHED in sweat.. Like in my eyes couldn’t see type shit.. haha.. so I moved into the studio to do my planks so I could cool off/rest a little bit..

but in between my planks I did jump squats lol.. I just wanted to MOVE!! 🙂 so after a totaling of 5 min 30 sec of planks.

Jump Squats \/

I would perfer not leaning so forward, and get your ass down (more of a 90 degree)..

Then moved to

Leg Extensions

95 lbs-130lbs 6-12 reps.

and I was DONE!

Got Gas. then ate the left over turkey and had a cup of unsweetened applesauce then 30 min later I was starving so I ate some bad ass oatmeal.. it had coconut milk, coconut shreds, dark chocolate chips and cocoa, and cacao nibs 🙂

10am Got in bed and finally fell asleep at midnight. WHICH IS EARLY FOR ME LATELY!!!!!

Goodnight ❤

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Day 40 FRIDAY’s Blog (WP is not being nice to me).

Day 40. phew… its been 40 days of no processed foods/fast food/anything other then WHOLE foods.. Isn’t that crazy??

&& I am almost 3 months free of smoking as well. YEAH buddy <– simple things in life bring me joy now 😉

930am Protein Shake. Probiotic Myofusion (again, tastes like shit), superblend (macs,hemp,something else can’t remember) and a little bit of coconut oil ice and coconut milk I think.. fuck.. SEE THIS IS WHY I WRITE DOWN AS I GO hahah whatever give or take 50 calories.

10am got to work.

130pm Leftover steak (6oz) and broccoli, a little late on eating today. From here and till 6pm I did have a Lara Bar though because my STOMACH WAS ON FIRE…. wtf is with these hunger pains??????????

6pm Left Work, headed to Whole Foods because I ran out of food and I really wanted chicken for this weekend. Spent $15 on 3 pieces of chicken.

Awesome.

6pm-845pm I was a bad girl. I didn’t eat 😦 I was having a heart to heart about everything and time just slipped away. Car ride home ate a cold chicken breast lol.

930pm  Arrived home.

1005pm Arrived at LA Fitness.

1006pm Realized LA Fitness closes at 10pm. Can’t miss a workout.. or if I did it would just be an excuse.. and its a friday.. and we already know I don’t have a life.. so…..

1015pm Drive to Xsport in Libertyville. Beginning of my little adventure my gas light goes on… Figured I can make it to work on an empty tank I can make it 20 min down the road.

1040pm Arrive at Xsport Fitness. Realize I do not have my debit card nor cash to pay the $10 to get into Xsport.
Call Ashley and ask her if she still works out at Xsport. Hang up.
Use her name to get in.

 

Back Day Today!

 

Started with Assisted Pull ups Supersetted with Lat pulldowns.

110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10reps
110lbs 12reps – 70lbs 10 reps
95lbs 8 reps – 80lbs 8 reps
95lbs 6 reps – Then some guy sat right behind me. So I moved.

 

To the Single Arm Row.

50lbs 10reps each arm
50lbs 10reps each arm
40lbs 12reps each arm
30lbs 12reps each arm

 

Moved to the Bent Over Row (cables actually).

90lbs 12reps
100lbs 10reps
110lbs 8reps
120lbs 8reps
130lbs 6reps

11pm Realize that my gas light went off, after I already drove 10-12 miles.. and I don’t have any cash on me.

11-1130pm Tell _____ that he might have to pick me up if a reserve tank can go 40 miles. IF not, plan on coming out to LV to help me out lol.

Finish up 30 min on stair master.

1201pm Made it safely and actually got home. Made 6oz ground turkey, 1/2 banana (WHAT ITS MY WEEKEND!!) :):):)

1237pm Finishing blog. Going to bed. SEEEEE YAAAAA. Can’t wait to turn my alarm clocks off ❤

Goodnight ❤

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Day 32 Without your mind’s support, your body won’t be able to make its transformation.

Not much going on today.. I don’t feel very “rantful” or opinionated today.. I also don’t feel that bad today lol.. Even after spending about 5 min starring at my stomach. lmfao. I look horrible. That and because I AS WHITE AS F U C K. but I was thinking about it today when I was walking my bosses dog that whenever my clients ask about ab work outs and what they want to look better the most ext..
..and I always tell them, you lose weight like a box, so the outside first.. (its hard to visualize), but your abs are the last to come in.. sorry kiddos!

which is true.. and even more so about this quote. If your mind is NOT ready, either are you. You have to WANT to change. You have to WANT a better lifestyle. KNOW that you can achieve this. It is all mind over matter. && BE PATIENT (i am SLLLLLLLLLOOOOWWLYYYYY learning this even after 5 years of a fitness lifestyle!!!!!!!!)

My legs are def getting defined and my shoulders are starting to round.
I am also losing the water weight/ the cellulite under my HUGE ASS!…. I will post pics after I spray tan this weekend, that get my nails done and dye my hair.

Can you believe I WENT 30 DAYS WITH NO SPRAY TAN OR FAKE NAILS! hahahahaha 😦 told you I was broke. damn imac. 2000 later……………………………………
I have a good warranty though.. LOL.

8am finished my protein shake already. it was just so good.

Having stomach problems again today. Before I thought it was because of an orange, but I didn’t have any today. Then I realized I am having ALOT of fiber/flax. LMFAO.  So I  have to be careful.

1030 Handful of Almonds

1122am On vitacost.com and I feel like I’m buying a new louis bag or something. I am getting anything my little heart desires. Like thoseeeeeee…….. GO RAW SUPERCOOKIES! haha..  I could go just down the street, but free shipping and I think they are a dollar less.. I don’t see all the flavors, nor do I have a website to go to.. So far I have lemon chocolate ginger snap original and I think spicy. superfuckingexcited.

Only spent about $40 🙂 so kinda happy. BUT I do have to buy myofusion and more aminos.. so that’s another 50-60$

😦

12pm Ate my chicken breast. Still hungry. Gonna munch on some edamame and keep surfing the internet lol.

Lifting Shoulders today though, with 30 min cardio. Kinda excited. I do love shoulders 🙂

210pm I just want to get out of here.

258pm Eating another chicken breast in about 30 min, still snacking on edamame and I only had like 5 of the raw lemon cookies.

So just an UPDATE:

Made another blog.. by popular demand. Bad Bitch of the Day. Where I post who I think is just RAVISHING! hahaha.. It’s anywhere from fitness models or personal friends ext. It is a big hit on my Facebook and someone mentioned to make a blog, okay they mentioned it more then once but 2 BLOGS???? one is hard enough!
However I don’t think BBOTD will need a lot of attention. Just daily updated pics, MAYBE bios ext. I don’t know.. I don’t know if I even should get in this mess lol.. but I’ll give it a shot.

608pm Just got home, gonna take Marley for a walk.. Sitting here writing I am getting a little bit tired.. not a good sign.. I think I may eat a meal before working out, or just lightly “snack”.. Idk I feel like I have been enjoying my fruits way to much (BUT I HAVENT HAD A LARA BAR IN A DAY OR TWO!!! haha usually I have one everyday, maybe even twice a day!) but it’s because I found cooler stuff to munch on..

So in about a week or 2 I am going to start cutting back on a few things (fruits, lara bars ext) not extremely but I do have to step it up a bit. Fruit may just be only in the am ( I find myself snacking on fruit later on in the day, which isn’t nec a bad thing because I work out at night), however, that and I need to add 15 min to my cardio sessions. 🙂

This is what I spent time on in class yesterday. =)

GETTTTTING CLOOOOOSERRRRRRRR !!! ❤ I am going to start posting bikini ideas, hopefully whoever gets this far down and reads this, leave a comment about which bikini you like.. I have like 58378932 ideas 🙂 I really wanted to do a pink this comp, but maybe a gold or a black (black always looks good!).

Anyone try these??

I wonder how good they are.. And little miss april I thought of you 🙂 but then again, I see myself eating these flax “cookies” and I could eat the whole bag. Regardless they only have like 300-400 MAX calories but still I am still learning how to listen to my body.

I am slowly figuring out where I get my stomach aches from.. I have to start writing this shit down.. because like the orange for instance, I ate it and RIGHT away (the acid i know…) KILLED my stomach.. But it only lasted like 30 min… which I think is a fine compromise to keep oranges in my life 🙂

BOULDER SHOULDERS!!!!!

Seated DB shoulder press

Lateral Raises/ supersetted with Front Raises

I am going to throw in some chest here too..

Incline chest press

Flyes

Upright row

Seated chest press

These are pictures I took today lol..
Above: In between chest press
Below: After I got home =D

942pm Just had a protein shake with chia seeds, pb2 powder and ice… I just chugged it.. didn’t taste that great.. I really REALLY need myofusion. and I am running low on aminos.. I might get them tomorrow.. who knows..

alright this blogging day is about done..OH

and I keep getting requests for personal training which is AWESOME! I charge $50 a session, and usually DONT travel, and sure as HELL don’t do it in peoples houses. I think I should just buy a huge like SUV with like cables kettle bells and other moveable workout shit and just like…… Idk travel and train lol.. I think I could make it my business.. All we would really did is like a stadium or any type of flight of stairs or a track or something ya know.. any who.. I should look into it.. I could even write my shit off for taxes because it would be my  job.. gas, my car lol ext..

HMMMMMMMMMM :):):):) Anywho.. in a good mood…. Gonna relax and hit the sack.. don’t have to be up till 9 tomorrow so I am going to take a long bubble bath 🙂

Okay so 1113pm I went and smoked with someone.. and you know what I Found out.. I am VERY opinionated.. I don’t talk badly about someone who doesn’t feel the same way, but I get so defensive. And its because I am passionate about the topic we are discussing.. Oh man……. I need to just breathe sometimes… I get so upset so quickly.. Like something I Didn’t mention before..

I was at bp completely on E and the pump I was on wasn’t working. I immediately started swearing.. I even thought to myself, why I was making a big deal of it.. I mean all i had to do was walk to the actual station.. whooopdeeedoo.. but then the cashier was rude as fuck and said just let it cancel out.. oh okay.. so whatever I see that it finally is at the screen I want I take the pump and put it in my tank and press the unleaded button.. ANNNNNNND NOTHING!. FUCK THAT> at that point I didn’t care I really just wanted to leave, but I practically threw the pump itself back into the holder, except it didn’t actually latch on, and I THOUGHT about leaving it,s at in the car looked out and swore even louder as I got out to put it back up (more so just making me look like an idiot), and then I reversed and shoved my credit card into the machine and it worked just fine…. All for $10 in gas because I was so pissed I didn’t wanna stand there…. then I got in the car drove off, 5 minutes later perfectly fine.

Oh.
Okay..

Goodnight ❤

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Day 27 randomly ranting

***** Sorry for the random posts! WP is going crazy on me, and is publishing things I don’t want to be published yet. My apologies!!!! This blog isn’t done yet…………..

Guys, if you want big legs you have got to squat. Girls, if you wanta shelf like, bangin’ ass you have got to squat. For the first few years of your training you should squat, squat and squat some more. Everyone’s goal should be to squat double bodyweight, at least. And I’m talking about real, full squats, at least to parallel.

Can you tell its Leg day today?

Should be after I ate 6 cookies last night. wtf? then my mom came in my room and asked if I had taken them, and I said yes. She asked what I did with them I said throw them out. I lied. She knew. She then saw the box on the end of the bed. UGH. I asked her, Im like WHAT ARE U TRYING TO DO MOM>>!>>!?!?!?

She said I need to figure out why Im doing this. and QUITE frankly. its BECAUSE I FUCKING SMOKE POT. THAT and because I was bored and have my period. I don’t know what else to say. I Had a perfectly fine day… I ate good all day. So I dk exactly what was a trigger, but the more that I think about it and try to solve it the more that it feels like a problem to me.

and I don’t want it to be a problem anymore.

I want to get past it. So thats what I plan on fucking doing.

So I will accept the fact that I ate 6 cookies last night and I will move on today without a care in the world.
I will also NOT do extra cardio to make up for the extra calories.
Iwilllovemyselfevenwhenidontwanttoo.

(Besides I did go a whole month without a cheat meal, usually id get 4 a month, lol but enough with the validation).

939am heading down stairs to make a meal. don’t know what though. Gonna hit legs at about noon.

1047am Had the last of my myofusion protein powder with super blend and coconut milk (a wonderful item I got at WF last night). I got my chicken breasts, coconut and almond milk. Edamame. Flaxseed Chips (pizza flavor), Kale Chips (DIS FUCKING GUSTING), and these 8 fucking dollar cookies that AGAIN TASTED AWFUL. ol. well 😦

and then I sat and talked with my mom for a little bit regarding addiction.

You can be addicted to ANYTHING, and its a a scary fucking thought. Some of us don’t even know it. I am trying to regain my life back everyday, and be stronger. I want my relationship with God stronger. I want to FINALLY live my life for me.

Randomly Ranting.

Getting pumped for the gym. Not so much deadlifts, because they hurt so bad (now that I’m finally going heavier!!!).. haha but Ill manage.

L I F T B I G !

12pm Hit legs HARD. Started with deadlift 12 12 10 8 6/ 50lbs 60lbs 70lbs 90lbs + bar

Resting was 10 bw squats in place.

35lb dumbbells 100 lunges

Lying down ham curl maxed OUT AT 50lbs lmao.

Then went and did 5 minutes of planks.

I was SHAKING after. Not to mention some girl at the front desk (who is always super pissed at me because I forget my key tag E V E R Y time.) well I didn’t have it again today 😦 but she asked me if I wanted to go to Sound Bar tonight lol.. why is it that everyone wants to go downtown tonight? Literally had 5 people ask me too?????

Was suppose to go see Nikki at World of Wheels but I didn’t wanna rush anything today so whatever.

115pm Chicken breast 1/2c rice and some 2% cheese.

(my cheat on the weekends are I am allowed to use cheese, condiments, and eat “more” carbs. Some people eat more PB, some actually go out and have a huge calorie/fat meal. Which is OK! it throws off your metabolism and makes it work harder). I choose not to do this anymore, or this time around because I can’t control my cheat meals. My cheat meal turns into a cheat day, so I will RESOLVE the issue, and continue to eat WHOLE foods through out this contest prep.

2pm I just finished a salt bath/bubble bath. I usually don’t take baths bc you just see yourself lying there all fat and shit. So I just take showers mostly. But to be honest, I am not THAT bad. I am white as fuck (tan skin always makes u look better), but def in good shape for being 10 weeks out 🙂 2 and 1/2 months. I could change lives in that amount of time. No reason I can’t do it myself :):):):):):):):)

In 4 days it will be 2 months since I quit smoking. WHATTTTT UPPPPP!!!! (stoked as fuck).

haha in about an hour or 2 I am going to start cooking. For todays MENU haha

Jamie Easons Turkey Meatballs
Black bean brownies
A pumpkinPizookie and
sweet potatoe fries. 🙂 YUM.

630pm Just ate the yummiest food ever.. okay so remember how my cheat meals consist of good eating? Well I wanted corn.. IVE BEEN HAVING WEIRD CRAVINGS FOR CORN! and so I got these single packs. So I heated one up, got some broccoli and my blackened chicken from Whole Foods and some lite sour cream and it was fucking delish. Like. really really good.

OH and I did have a weird craving for cookie and cream ice-cream and then I passed by Culvers and the flavor of the day is cookie dough craving.. are you fucking serious?

The one before that? Oreo

and before that? Chocolate covered strawberry

I am just assuming that since these are all of my fave, that the flavor of the day will be campfire smores. Ill be so fucking pissed.

Anywho, I’m staying in today. LIKE USUAL.. lol ill start going out later, but for now I enjoy my family/fitness lifestyle right now. It makes me happy. In the summer I will be better with the whole going out thing.

In a week or two my second class starts. Hmmmm SO Mon and Wed I have class. SO those are my two days off, (besides when I need to do my cardio in the am on an empty stomach) so that means I can miss any day because of OH IM TOO TIRED BLAHBLAHBLAH.\

Actually now that I graphed that out I may not need to have another day off. I just wouldn’t do cardio and still get a 45 min leg work in.. but its still possible. It just all depends on how my legs and butt come in.

And about the whole baking thing.. I don’t know about that. it is only 7pm, but I don’t know if Im going to fill up for it.. Maybe just the black bean brownies (because I am craving something chocolate no thanks to my lady friend), and save the rest for tomorrow, show Justina how to eat healthy lol.

so that means I should clean my room before I go to bed.

Church Tomorrow.. so church taxes workout – chill. haha ❤

So all I do is surf fitness related articles websites blogs, everything.. well I was looking over for a picture to put above and stumbled on lift big eat big (the sweatshirt I’ve posted before), and found it quite interesting. although I haven’t done their workouts, i wouldn’t mind trying.

The only reason I never did cross fit or any other designed program was bc when something was supersetted, I would literally have to either run across the gym to do so, or it was impossible because of the people, Id just get frustrated (yes my excuse) but Id gonna spend some more time on this site. Im always telling eric (who told me about it years ago) that I wanna do cross fit ( I would love to do the cross fit games actually) but I never do. Ugh.. maybe thats a goal for me, like add it to my bucket list. lol.

25 Tell-Tale Signs That You Lift Big & Eat Big

This post is dedicated to all the members of the Lift Big Eat Big club.
1.Your waist may be the same size it was in high school, but you still wear 2 pant sizes bigger so your ass will fit.
2. People never ask when you will be finished with the squat rack because they don’t want to be on the receiving end of your cobra death glare.
3. Going back for seconds is not a privilege, it’s a duty.
4.Over 75% of your Facebook friends are either shirtless or have weights in their hands. The other 25% are just family members.
5. You know squat.
6. The meal is not over when you are full, the meal is over when you hate yourself.
7. A fridge full of milk and meat should last you until the end of the week.
8. Your eye twitches every time you see a set of half-squats.
9. You spend each night refreshing your gym’s homepage, waiting to see tomorrow’s workout.
10. You keep an extra stick of deodorant on hand in case of a surprise outbreak of the meat sweats.
How I look heading into the 6AM class.
11. If you had a nickel for every time you explain that firming and toning is BS, you could retire.
12.You can walk into large groups of people on the sidewalk and they will always get out of your way.
13. No, it’s not like Zumba or P90X.
14. After a day of heavy 5×5, walking down stairs is the hardest task imaginable.
15. You enjoy blacking out as runners tell you about how great their endorphin high was.
16. You don’t need to go to go to the doctor, because squats and fish oil can cure every ailment.
17. You spend more time at work reading training logs than actually working.
18. You are happy when your butt looks big in those jeans.
19. The recession doesn’t worry you nearly as much as when your new shirt is coming in the mail.
20. Being called “skinny” is offensive.
21. Have some pain? There is a MOBWOD for that.
22. Yes fat is good for you, and you make sure that everyone knows it.
23. Males shy away from the squat rack when you warm up with their max.
24. Every shirt you own has a gym logo or workout reference on it.
25. You base others self worth on their TOTAL score.

I’ve been called a meat head before, and I took it as a compliment until I realized it means idiot. L M F A O.
Funny part is< i don’t think he knew what it meant either, and maybe he did but he wasn’t the type too make fun of me.. but I suppose its true now. hahahahha ohhhhh man. . But this is dope. Im just glad that people are into lifting as much as I am. I really would love to go pro. I think that should be on my bucket list too. I don’t see why I wouldn’t lol. The more the do it, the more my name will get out there and Im sure I wouldn’t step on stage if I looked like shit. Regardless its a GREAT time. I always get so nervous, but this is truly something I thought Id never be able to do. :):)

Makes me happy, knowing that I achieved something I never thought I would. and here I go again right? lol I really want a sexy suit though. I still haven’t really decided. I don’t want jennifers white one because I will ruin it with the tan, and the coral one won’t be ready. (btw never said anything but she asked to follow me on instagram haha!), so now I will keep searching till I see one that catches my eye. It will DEF have chains on the sides though.. OK ok pointless blogging..

I am going to see if this posts tomorrow at midnight, 12:01 actually, because thats what it is set for. But apparently it already posted…. bc WP was being all weird, but well see if that works.

AND BECAUSE of the OLYMPIA, that I didn’t go too :(:( But here is a beautiful 40 year old PRO! She is beautiful.

Cheryl Brown

Goodnight ❤

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Day 26 only cheating myself.

My pants from gap, that didnt fit now fit. Ok they dont “fit”: but I’m wearing them . HAHA.. anyways been pretty busy. I ate 2 cookies last night. I was going to eat more but I feel asleep (THANK YOU GOD SO MUCH). It’s either bc of my period or the fact that I smoked pot. Yes I smoke pot and Yes I am thinking of quitting. Right now this is where I need full dedication/motivation and I don’t think I’m all there yet. I will be, this is a work in progress and I will take it one day at a time.

I should be upset. I’m not. I went almost 30 days without “cheating.” I am SO so proud of myself.

I didn’t even really put much thought into this title, until now. Realizing that I should of put it for (what really is tomorrows blog) but noticing I kind of fucked up today (yesterday LOL) too. The reason I am not emphasizing on my bad days is because the more that I sit there and ask myself why, the more that I feel like I have a problem. I am overcoming it even if I do have one. But I need to fucking learn how to forgive myself. I can’t take back the food I eat (NO ED!), I can only r e s o l v e the issue. Work it off, hate myself for it, or nothing. I would usually hate myself for it AND do nothing. That obvious’y didn’t work. I realize that when or what I do only cheats myself. No one else is going to care so I have to. I have to CARE about myself. If only you were taught these things at a younger age … :/

930am Protein shake

1030am Lara Bar

1230-1pm Whole foods?

2pm Haven’t eaten yet. Not having a good day.

Oh and officially broke the zipper off to these pants.

230pm 1/2 chicken breast

300pm other 1/2 of the chicken breast

Black Bean Brownies Recipe

Nutritional Info: 85 calories, 1g fat, 16g carbs, 4g protein (without optional sugar)

Servings: 9

Description:

Dense, fudge-y and ultra-healthy, these brownies are a great alternative to traditional brownies! It’s amazing how they taste like chocolate and fudge and not beans! Chef’s Notes: Rolled oats run through the food processor may substituted for the instant oats. Use optional sugar if your bananas are still green and not very ripe.

Ingredients:

  • 15 ounces black beans, drained and rinsed
  • 2 whole bananas
  • cup agave nectar
  • ¼ cup unsweetened cocoa
  • 1 tbsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • ¼ cup raw sugar (optional)
  • ¼ cup instant oats

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350 F. Grease an 8×8″ pan and set aside. Combine all ingredients, except oats, in a food processor or blender and blend until smooth, scrapping sides as needed. Stir in the oats and pour batter into the pan. Bake approximately 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Allow to cool before slicing. Chef’s Note: if you find these brownies are too soft or too fudge-y, add another 1/4 cup oats or flour.

and I am making this as soon as I get home from Cardio – From ChocolateCoveredKatie (whom I love)..

Pumpkin Chocolate-Chip Pizookie

(gluten free!)

Obviously inspired by the Deep-Dish Cookie Pie.

  • 2 cans white beans or garbanzos (drained and rinsed) (500g total, once drained)
  • 1 cup quick oats
  • 1/4 cup pureed pumpkin (or butternut squash or sweet potato)
  • 2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1 and 1/2 tsp cinnamon
  • 3 T canola oil (or coconut oil)
  • 1 and 1/2 cups brown sugar (You can try adding less sugar, if you’re used to healthy desserts; I chose to use this much because the people to whom I served it are used to “normal” desserts. Also, white sugar will work if you don’t have brown. Also: I know some readers have successfully made my original pie with agave.)
  • 1 cup chocolate chips

Blend everything (except the chips) very well in a food processor. (Blend until it’s super-smooth.) Mix in chips, and pour into a pan. (I used a 10-inch springform pan, but you can use a smaller pan if you want a really deep-dish pie.) Cook at 350F for 35 minutes. Let stand at least 10 minutes before removing from the pan.

If desired, you can top this pie with Vanilla Ice Milk.

&

Vanilla Ice Milk :

  • 1/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • very scant 1/16 tsp salt (don’t omit)
  • sweetener (such as 1 stevia packet or 1T sugar)
  • 1 cup almond milk (I used unsweetened Silk. See below for substitution notes.)
  • optional: add-ins such as fruit, peanut butter, or extracts

Mix the ingredients together in 1 or 2 shallow plastic containers. Freeze. (You could also use an ice cube tray.) Once frozen, pop the blocks out of the container (I thaw for 30 seconds in the microwave first) and blend in your Vita-Mix. (If you don’t have a vita-mix, you’ll probably have to thaw longer, but you can still get a yummy ice milk.)

This ice cream—when made with almond milk—has a very light texture (perfect for summer). For a creamier texture that’s more like real ice cream, try using at least 1/4c canned coconut milk (or maybe even creamer?). You can, of course, also sub other non-dairy milks for the almond. But if you do this, play around with the amount of vanilla extract, sweetener, and add-ins. (For example, an already-sweetened milk will probably need less added sweetener.) To make it look like real ice cream, see the “ice cream trick” link at the very bottom of this post.

Nutritional Info:

  • Calories: 40
  • Fat grams: 3
  • Sugar grams: 0

Probably gonna make all this tomorrow.

I passed out last night after I went to Whole Foods and jewel last night. Spent $100. 😦 lol. then came home and literally didn’t really do anything. Just passed out. So I’m writing this today lol.

But for my blogging experience,

Goodnight ❤

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