Friday 5/83

So work out wise everything has been going great. I have been getting in the gym consistently whether Ive been tired or not. I have only been doing 30 minutes of cardio no matter if I want t o go longer or not. Again I need to remember that I have 2 and 1/2 months left and can’t lose sight of that. I don’t want to get too lean and have it become a problem later (I lost my ass last show). I just need to focus and be patient.

As far as food goes, I have also been doing well. It’s basically brown rice, oatmeal and whole wheat pastas and breads for my carbohydrates. Chicken, red meat, greek yogurt and ground turkey for protein sources, and almonds and pb for fat sources. I also enjoy fruit at the moment. Fruit is high in sugar (again, sugar is sugar) so I can enjoy it now but later on I will need to cut it completely. I haven’t really been craving anything but if my sweet tooth says hello I take a bite or two of what I want. Like last night, I ate a Hershey kiss. Just one but it made me smile 🙂 The trick to eating right, is knowing the right things to eat BUT also enjoying life for what it is. I don’t want to feel guilty anymore when it comes to food.. It really is just embarrassing to me. The key is moderation. I am sure you have heard it all before but its the truth.

Dinner with the boyfriend and the little beggar named Marley..

This is my go to meal. Brown rice chicken and broccoli. I marinate the chicken in this dressing and it’s heaven on earth.

Out side of working out, I have been struggling a little bit. I broke down yesterday (Thursday) at work because of a comment my boss made. Let it be known that I have been working here for 2 years, baby sit my bosses kids, and at his beck and call since the day I started here. Now I don’t expect royal treatment or anything of that sort, but I don’t think I deserve to be treated like this.

I am the only girl in a body shop full of men. Hmm.. recipe for disaster? Probably.. however I am a strong(er) female and can take most of what is thrown at me.. but when it boils down to it.. I just want to be respected. I have been called dumb numerous times.. retarded even. It just hurts. No one else is treated like this here at work when it comes to his employees so I often find myself wondering why..

Now.. did you catch that? I said when it comes to his employees.. when it comes to outside workers.. now that’s a different story. Numerous times I have to apologize for his behavior. I have had numerous people ask me why hes like this, why he treats people like this and I have no answer. None of which that would suffice. I am embarrassed by the way he treats people. I have no idea why someone would want to act like this.. it baffles me. He is just rude. I know he is going through a big divorce but that doesn’t mean you can disrespect people.. make them feel like shit. I don’t know if its the silver spoon he was fed with when he was younger, or the fact that he has quite a few bucks in the bank.. regardless. still no need for the amount of disrespect in that mans body.

I hope one day he realizes the amount of pain he has caused people whether he wants to believe it or not.

I have beaten myself up over this, cried numerous times but as I stand today I wont let him get the best of me. I am going to go about my day, ignoring the belittling comments and finally take the time to find a job where the people actually give a fuck. At this point I don’t care what the fuck I do for a job, I just can’t be here anymore. He doesn’t deserve it. Doesn’t deserve much really but that’s not up to me. I do have to be thankful though, if it wasn’t for AW I wouldn’t have met the love of my life (something he will never know.  Someone that mean.. that rude and disrespectful ignorant and verbally abusive to just about any and everyone will never know how to love and care for someone. He just doesn’t have it in him and I feel bad. I feel bad for you Ron. I don’t know where this all stemmed from but I really think you need a reality check).

You do know you can’t take your money to hell right?