If it were easy, well.. you know.

Everyone wants the easy way out, the magic pill, if you will. I can’t compete with an ignorant naive mind. I don’t possess enough patience. It’s a flaw, a weakness rather and something that is currently being worked on. 

The same patience I’m speaking of, is the patience these people.. your clients my clients people of the world, all need. 

The body I have, the strength I own, the knowledge I’ve acquired.. Was never made in a lab nor was it injected. It was never swallowed. Never squeezed and manipulated.. This was hardwork and consistency. This.. this took discipline.

Of course I wanted to wake up after a day of eating good, and like what I saw. Of course I’d rather take a pill then feel the lactic acid (which we can thank hydrogen not lactate for that) burning. Of course I’d rather wear some ridiculous waist trainer instead of walking up to cycle in the wee hours of the morning.

Truth is, this lifestyle isn’t easy and as far as I’ve seen, isn’t for everyone. 

I get that. I get that life isn’t easy which makes being active and healthy harder. I G E T  IT! Maybe me getting it, isn’t the problem. Maybe thinking there’s a problem, is the problem. 

A client and I got into it (not really but definitely some miscommunication) regarding meal plans and such. Apparently I said I would help her with one months and months ago but always fell thru. I wasn’t aware of this, as meal plans are very time consuming (and technically I’m not a dietician yet so, basically all I can give you is “guidelines”).  However, that is my job and hopefully as you all know, I am all about balance. Nutrition being one of the most important factors in all of this, none the less. What got to me is as I am going over the basics to this (I start my clients off small. As in, small goals nothing drastic to see how they adapt to change), she interrupts me and goes off on a tangent about how age this, and carbs that.. And I’m just sitting there like…. quiet.. until she talks about how she won’t give it 100%. How too much is going on that she’s spread too thin. 

Now.. How are you going to complain that I never helped you, make me feel like shit, when really you just didn’t want to be helped? I take this shit to heart and I am slowly realizing I can’t do that. Yes, I am trying to help clients help themselves but if they don’t want the help, it is out of my hands. I am already too hard on myself, I can’t take people’s lack of motivation as my own. I want to see these people succeed! I know how it feels to look in the mirror and not like what you see! I know what it feels like to put on clothes, not be able to fit in them, and hop back in bed and cry. I know tears. Tears fit nice, they just don’t look good. 

Emerge.

For a seed to achieve it’s greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, it’s insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn’t understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.

Justine (my BFF, left). Myself, to the right.

So here’s to growing. Here’s to coming undone. Here’s to the progress, even the challenges I will face. Here’s to being okay.

Killer leg workout: not for the timid.

Leg workout 7/30/14

140lb leg press with Leg Ext warm up 4 sets of 12-15 (DO NOT USE LEG EXT IF YOU HAVE PROBLEMS WITH YOUR KNEES).
Upped leg press to 190lbs for 2 sets. Kept leg ext weight the same.

Started with Hack squat at 50lbs (1) 25lb each side with a 50lb BB lunge.
Doubled the weight (2) 25’s on each side.
Added (1) 10 to each side.

3 sets total- h.squat was 12 reps (adding weight)
Lunges were 2 sets (14,12 reps) @50lbs. Last set was 30 reps @bw

Leg press. 3 exercises in set. (1) 25 plate on each side.
3 sets of 12-15 reps:

1. Side leg press
2. Single leg press
3. Together (feet high) (yes! 45 rep set)!

Kick backs and sumo squat. K backs= 30lbs (cable). Sumo squat= 45lb DB. Sumo squat could have been heavier, regardless, should have done on boxes to get better ROM.
3 sets of 12 reps k backs, 10 reps s squats.

Smith machine squats (2) 10’s on each side. Super set with box jumps.
3 sets of 12 squats, 10 box jumps.

Exhaustion phase.
7 sets of 12-15 leg ext.

– So I wanted to test this leg workout today. I texted my lifting partner the workout and what I thought was going to be the complete opposite response, I received a “fuck yeah.” It was awesome. I was already dreading it in my head and glad I had someone’s positivity to piggy back off. We work together. Almost balance each other out. Yet when I read that, what I just wrote, realized that’s not entirely true. We work together we’ll yes, however sometimes we are so alike, when one goes down, so does the other. Only thing I can think of while trying to make light of the situation, is that we come back stronger. We pick each other up, in due time. That’s all that matters.

Anywho this ADD chick needs to stay focused…

This work out was pretty exhausting. Since being a trail run, I wanted to push myself but since we didn’t know what to expect, we didn’t go all out beast mode on it. We could have upped the weight on cable kick backs, sumo squat and smith machine squats. As a matter of fact, it sucked but 50lb BB lunge was a tad easy too. Next week (well do a plyo metric workout on Sunday), we’ll complete this routine again, but this time upping the ante a bit.

Everything should be easy to follow. Might want to google the side leg press just to make sure your position is correct. Since you are at an angle, make sure your foot ankle complex is directly inline with the knee. Don’t go to heavy on this one just to make sure you don’t hurt yourself. This was a triple set, and it sucked. But, oh so good.

Dating a fit chick:

Couldn’t help not to share. Mike wrote this while I was sleeping and it’s pretty legit..

DATING A FIT CHICK:

– Must deal with constant soreness , massage skills are a bonus.

-No messing with eating schedule, nor teasing with nono food.

-Let them sleep, it’s good and leads to not being cranky, no one likes an aggravated women.

-Do not interrupt work out sessions, they’re in the zone just don’t fuck with them.

-There’s alot of crazy seeds and powders that are beneficial.

-You’re not funny when you try and make them laugh doing a workout wrong. They will walk away.

-Harder Faster Squeeze should not be taken in a sexual manner in a gym.

– DO NOT TOUCH when the word bloated is mention.

-You really find out a women can rip one with the best of them.

-Don’t get insecure if they are stronger. You can still do the manly things.

No matter how small, progress is progress!

It’s been exactly 2 months since my injury, a month since my surgery. In that time, I have lost 12lbs. In my anorexic days, I would if saw this as a good thing, and now I feel depressed thinking about all the muscle I have lost.

Maybe depressed wasn’t the right word, because although I’m super sad by it, I have yet to do the destructive habits I was once accustomed too… So maybe in light of it all, I’m making progress regardless of what the scale says..

IIFYM

I just ate a brownie. My stomach is in knots and I have a huge headache. It’s crazy how eating healthy for so long and ingesting something that isn’t, affects you so greatly.

That being said, I believe in IIFYM (if it fits your macros), to a point. Macros aka macronutrients, are your carbs proteins and fats. You are given a calorie “goal” as well as c/p/f.. And technically you could eat whatever you wanted as long as it fits in your means.

I find people are either pro clean eating or iifym. But those for iifym, seem to have a thing against clean eaters.. Making memes about it, like eating icecream in the shower.. Ext. I believe in whatever works for that person. Personally, my stomach can’t handle shit foods, nor does my mind. I feel guilty, more so because I tend to bloat pretty bad.. And who can feel happy being bloated?

Anyways, I like my clients to eat 5-6 days “clean” then treat themselves to a “cheat MEAL” once or twice a week. For different reasons.. Mostly up keep them sane. Unless you’ve been in the game for awhile.. You have habits that need to be broken, and until they are brought to the surface, many people can’t stick to a “diet”. They are too use to eating crappy and don’t feel satisfied eating chicken and veggies majority of the time..another reason I believe in eating healthy, wholesome foods, is because of vitamins and minerals. Yes, you could lose weight eating cheeseburgers all day, but sooner or later it’s going to catch up to you.

The thing is, I don’t care if you eat clean or eat icecream.. I want people to enjoy being fit. I want people to grab ahold of themselves and start treating their bodies better. I struggled for years before I took the healthy route, and I’m stunned it took that long.

Real talk.

I began a Facebook page called Fit R Us. I don’t know where I’m going with, much like this blog, though I hope to just help in any way I can. Mostly motivating articles and just being truthful about how the process of getting fit really works. No bullshit.

I feel like many people don’t understand the basics, just like myself years ago. That alone could be detrimental to ones progress. Years ago, I starved myself. Not too long ago I binged the fuck out of shit. Now, I am living healthy and happy and I hope others will too.

I posted this progress picture (see below) taken this morning (4/25/14). It’s about 2 weeks post surgery. I haven’t worked out.. and by that I have lost around 7lbs. Although not stoked about it.. There’s nothing I can do.. But wait! There is, and I have stayed completely on point on my diet (again, you know me, I use the word diet very loosely).

I have tracked my food in myfitnesspal. Which is sort if a joke unless you know what you’re doing. All my clients have downloaded it and I have manipulated the goals because 9/10 it is so wrong. I don’t really know where they come up with there numbers, but I rarely agree.

I’m staying on a 40/30/30 spilt, at around 1800 calories. And that’s not working out… Most girls would look at that number and think I’m crazy.. But I look at some peoples calorie consumption and think the same. Just remember, if you think eating less than 1000 calories is good.. Realize you will have to eat 1000 calories for the rest of your life or you’ll gain weight. Then think about if you hit a plateau.. Only way to get past it would be to add more work, or to eat less. See where I’m going here? You can eat and lose weight, you just have to be in a deficient at the end of the day.. Maybe people don’t like to work out.. But who likes to, well, not eat?

Live love LIFT!

I got the go ahead to lift lower body!

It’s been a few weeks, and I could not be happier.. Like I’ve previously mentioned, my “diet” has kept me from spiraling into a depression. I went 30 days without a chest meal, and had one last Friday. I’ve been wanting pizza and my wish was granted. Everything felt fine. My stomach did turn just a bit but I held everything together. A few hours later, we indulged in some frozen yogurt and I’ll have to say, I felt a tad guilty. I’m not sure if it was because it was late at night, but I felt I went a bit overboard. The next day however, I was back to eating like normal (instead of usually continuing the binge).

Today, a few days later.. I feel better than ever. I started tracking my food which helps in holding myself accountable.

Slowly adding in cardio but for now my focus is on lifting lower body. I’ll check in soon!

One thing after another..

Things are getting tough. It’s been 4 days since surgery and although I have amazing support, I feel myself falling into depression..

What was suppose to be a 15 minute surgery, turned into 2 and 1/2 hours, putting me to sleep twice, an incision and an extra pin (total of 5).

I was given pain meds, but after the numbness went away no medication seem to help. After a few hours, mike drove me back to the doctors, all the while tears flooded my face. They said they wrapped my hand too tight and prescribed “Mercedes Benz” of pain meds.. Only to realize those didn’t help either..

I’ve been home this entire time, taking off work. Which is hard being a personal trainer and all, considering I don’t get paid but nothing I can do. Not much I can do really, physically.. Any motion any slight pressure hurts like you wouldn’t believe.. So taking my mind off it, is something I’m struggling with.

The only thing I am happy about is the fact that I haven’t fallen to good for satisfaction. In fact, I’ve been losing weight (yes more than likely muscle WHICH SADDENS ME EVEN MORE!!!!), staying “clean” for just about a month now. I figured I wouldn’t be as active so I need to lighten up with the cookies 😛 Though, I’ve have ZERO cravings.. Not even the double layered homemade cake my mom made, made me budge. Success.

But enough of that before my mouth starts watering.. It’s been 3 weeks since I lifted upper body, and only 3 lower body workouts, I have 4 weeks to go. Doesn’t seem like much and could be a lot worse, the here and now sucks. I cry a lot.. Not having a hand, more so excruciating pain when you try to use it, makes you appreciate it that much more. I just wish I could stay positive, I’m praying that I do.

Life as I know it (for the time being)!

WOW.. it has been one hell of a roller coaster ride these last few weeks. Up and down an all around…

Lets first start off by saying how hard this is to type, considering I fractured the BLEEP out of my left hand. I just finished up with the doctor just a few short hours ago, where we decided to go ahead with surgery. I’m not saying
I’m thrilled, but happy that things should be back to normal in a few weeks. That being said, I have had two legit work outs in the last 3 weeks. Lets just say, I have been rather depressed. Seems like it’s a domino effect lately. More so, because I am constantly reminded of my lack of being able to do.. well just about anything. For the first week, I couldn’t even put my hair up, or tie my own shoes. Boy, did it make me feel guilty. Just always taking things for granted.. really made me appreciate the things in my life more. Maybe that’s why it happened… who knows..

Regardless, I am still facing challenges each and every day, and not being able to work out has made me feel .. like I lost part of myself. All I have ever known, has been working out and personal training.. and something this small has taken that from me (for the time being). I was deadlifting 255 for REPS and really pushing forward with my prep for competition. I mean.. this happened the day before I was supposed to compete in a DL comp, where the girl who won (and there was ONLY 1 GIRL in the comp) only lifted 235lbs.. let me tell you… that did not sit with me well.

Although my lifting has taken a back seat for a bit (I still lift legs as much as possible, and as much as I can), I promised myself that my “diet” will be the thing that holds me together. I was scared at first.. I was eating cookies practically every day and still  maintaining.. I was barely doing any cardio.. and then BAM! Active lifestyle cut short. I had to do something or I was going to self destruct.

So far so good.

 

To be honest, my body is taking the lack of heavy lifting extremely well. I couldn’t believe it.. I woke up and had abs sitting up! Nothing I am doing is crazy extreme.. all I am doing is watching what I eat.. aaaaaaaand passing up the cookies (just for now). I am not counting calories, my macros.. nothing.. I probably should be but until I feel its necessary, I would rather just eat. I do prep my meals still, but again, no measuring of anything. I do take spin classes every other day (heavy resistance), to get SOME activity in my life. Like I said, I would be lost without it… I mean.. it really is my life. Even if I can’t train myself, I train people for a living and now, I can’t even spot someone correctly…  😦 But.. that’s not what this is about.

It’s about appreciating life. Really.. just in general. I mean, I broke a finger and I felt hopeless at times.. I felt like I lost myself.. I felt dependent on people for the dumbest things. Shout out to Justine for tying my shoes countless times..

smh..

But it made me appreciate the fact that I still have every other working limb. That in 4 weeks, I will be healed. Where as others won’t. Where mine seems so minor compared to others. I could only imagine the pain the suffering others with major health issues face. I pray for them, and I will continue to pray for them. When something is taken from you it affects you emotionally, and some times those emotions get the best of you.

I have a lot to be thankful for. I appreciate every single client, gym goer, and just random strangers, that try to boost my moral each and every day. It has been so heart warming to know that even if people are just being nosy, they took the time to ask how I was doing. It really has made me so much more appreciative of the life I live.