Reality.

“Most importantly clear your mind and focus on the one goal that you’ve set out to accomplish. Never let anything or anyone distract you from pressing onward. Become confident in everything. Giving back always. Grounded through all things, and stern through all trials”

– Ashley Horner Bodybuilding.com

My head was all over the place.. but I am looking forward to looking back on all this.

I got pinched the other day. I am currently 147lbs and 22% BF (5’6). We are looking to add about 10 lbs more muscle all the while shooting for 15%. So.. exciting right.. next summer I’LL LOOK SIIIIIIICK! haha…. But that’s okay… most people put on weight then spend summer trying to take it off. No logic in that. Well… that or they starve eat egg whites and do cardio every day. Sounds super fun to me.

I am a little disappointed but excited that I am going to continue and keep reach different goals of mine. I am definitely the strongest I have ever been and I feel super accomplished about that. The next few things I want to work on are 20 pull ups in a row, hand stand push ups and to be able to so a pistol squat on my left leg. L O L.

Going to keep my head up and not let petty shit get in my way of becoming someone I never thought I could be. I am so looking forward to this next journey. Or pit stop.. you know.. in this whole road to ripped kinda theme….

Weekly Check Up :P

A lot of things are happening and seems to me that the more effort I put in, the greater the outcome. How funny that its common sense, yet until I felt like I hit rock bottom, has it really opened my eyes..

My promotion at work was accepted and it will start July 1st, hopefully making a little more money than I currently am. Considering, I am busting my ass and still living paycheck to paycheck. I know it’s not forever, but damn does each day feel like it. It’s really hard sometimes and recently has been some of the hardest. Even contemplating getting a second job, or leaving training completely till I can keep my head above water. Obviously that isn’t what I want to do but sometimes you have to do what you don’t want to do in order for everything else to fall into place. The last thing I want to do is go spend a couple of months serving and waiting tables but it has crossed my mind more than once. We will see, praying that things work out for the best.

I do have a business proposition that came about a few days ago. Someone willing to invest in what I have to offer. The hard thing? I don’t know what I have to offer.

I get so overwhelmed with things that they end up sitting on the back burner. Out of sight, out of mind. This isn’t and hasn’t been the best approach, yet I can;t seem to calm the anxiety I get from over thinking just about every damn thing. All I know is that I need to seriously put time and effort into focusing on what I want to achieve than just hoping one day I get some lucky break. No one is going to do this for me. I need to get my head out of my ass and put these dreams into sight, into true opportunities. It is right in front of me and I need to hold on for dear life.

Other than the normal life rollercoaster, my work outs/progress have been really taking my mind off everything. Instead of worrying how much money I have left till next paycheck, I am thinking about how much weight I want to progress up too, how sore my muscles are, how good I feel. Stressing my body, not my mind. Have been having super awesome workouts thanks to H @ the gym. Still learning new techniques and the proper form when lifting heavy and using it to my full potential.

6/21/13

It’s amazing to see what the body can achieve by just believing that it can be done. Now I just need to have that mind-set when discussing my future and what it holds. I can do it. Plain and simple. Whatever task is in front of me, I want to concur it. I beat myself up all the time, whether it’s not being able to finish a full set or thinking I have no potential in well, anything. It gets me down no doubt, but I will overcome these obstacles I place on myself. I will achieve greatness one way or another.

Here is a progress picture from this morning. The dude and I went to BWW after a late night fishing session. I caught probably 5 little guys, see:

My first little guy of the evening 🙂 .. and yes hes pooping.

..but ended up getting attacked by mosquitos so my pansy ass wanted to wait in the car. He ended up not caring so we left and grabbed a bite to eat. Wasn’t a horrible night, I got upset over something stupid but chose not to talk about it because I need to realize I can handle this shit on my own. It’s like breaking a bad habit. I WILL get there and hopefully it will be another piece glued back towards our trust…

Buffalo Wild Wings FTW!

I got 2 whole wheat wraps with ranch on the side but also opted for 5 boneless wings in BBQ (they were .60!!!) lol.. I didn’t care either way, I haven’t had a cheat meal in the longest time so there’s my validation. Not to mention the next day I would have a KILLER leg work out, burning over 1200 calories. Yes, 1200!! Still barely doing any cardio. Maybe about an hour a week. Yes, I could do more but I don’t think I will just yet. I know I want to be super lean but I need to figure out my body first. It’s a science and it’s almost too easy that it becomes difficult at times. But its nice when you have other people supporting you and going through the same shit. Makes it feel..less bad.. and painful.. lol. No it doesn’t actually. My body is so sore I can only imagine what tomorrow is going to feel like.

Work out consisted of:
Squats- couple sets of 125 ( I believe.. isn’t the bar 35? 25? fuck. But 2 (45) plates) Leg Press– couple sets of 270
Leg Ext- the chica and I did about 60 for 12 reps. Little did we know that was too little, so we had to do another set or 2 of 120lbs LMAO!
w/ Body weight Lunges– 100 total
I finished with 3 sets of box squats of a little more than 125. I can’t remember though.

Didn’t have enough time, but needed to do a little more hamstring work but almost a good thing I didn’t because my legs (excuse me, ENTIRE BODY) was achey.. AKA GAME OVER!!!!!!!  ughhh ;P

Post Work Out Leftovers

(I also had extra chicken in my car because there wasn’t enough protein in one of those to even be beneficial lol). I also had an additional 40g of carbs via another piece of pita bread and a couple oz of gatorade.

..Though, decided to do a spin class with a couple of my girl clients tomorrow morning. It is such a great work out if you push yourself. You have the potential to burn 800 to over 1000 calories. Not to mention, is a great way to increase your endurance. However, my legs my lanta. Fingers crossed I’ll be able to do it tomorrow 🙂

Still eating quite a bit. Again, hopefully I will put more time into writing my food log down but in a couple of weeks I will be calorie counting so it;ll make it easier to just copy and paste. And yes you heard that right, calorie counting. Now I RARELY do this and practically tell my clients not to (for multiple reasons).. I think it becomes tedious, repetitive at times but more so overwhelming. Other than that, I think if you are consistently working out and eating the right foods, that you shouldn’t worry about how many calories you’re consuming unless 1. you AREN’T eating enough (VERY common), 2. you AREN’T losing weight/inches (the scale should NOT be your idea of a measurement of progress!!!!) 3. competing. Other than that, say NO to diets and start living a healthy lifestyle. If you aren’t being active and don’t care what you eat, weight gain is almost inevitable.. Because in the end, it is about calories in vs calories out. But in no way do I want people to start weighing and measuring food and being meticulous about it because it almost does more harm than good. Yes I will have people disagreeing with me but you also haven’t suffered multiple eating disorders and I am telling you, once you start getting carried away it no longer becomes healthy.

My breakfast for the last 2 days.. Mmmm

Here is a WHOLE WHEAT Pita (with only 4 ingredients!!!!!!!!!!!) toasted, with an ALL NATURAL PEANUT BUTTER (only ingredients are Peanuts and salt I believe), mixed with Myofusions Chocolate protein powder. Tasted like nutella (no lie).

Any who.. I am going to relax and watch a movie. I’m going to keep stretching and possibly do a little core work (since I haven’t done anything in about a week smh..).. Other than that, tonight is a well deserved rest night ;P

Bulk now, Lean later.

It’s come to my attention that people actually read my blog. I mean I know they did bu..nevermind. One of my lovely followers on Instagram (@maristheshit) last night commented about reading my blog regarding “bulking”.. It was a straight sweet thing to read but I got nervous… I write with no filter, no proofreading and am constantly saving after each paragraph interrupted by work (its my fault, im blogging during work hours meh)… It’s really my fault and not making enough time to sit down and produce a well versed or put together blog piece.. but I think of this as more as my fitness journal/journey documented via the computer. It’s shows a look into my life and how each part of my day revolves around my road to self acceptance.. from recovering disordered eater to a fitness competitor. So I apologize if I sound like a complete twat sometimes.

..on to the actual reason of this post.. I wanted to actually EXPLAIN what bulking is by definition but want it to be known of how I do things.. my way of course..

Bulking is by Urban Dictionaries definition:

Bulking is a process commonly used by an individual wishing to gain weight. Commonly used in bodybuilding (Off-Season) but will also be used by fitness enthusiast. Bulking attempts to build MUSCLE MASS

Simply it is an attempt to eat a healthy diet to gain weight, whilst minimizing fat gains. The basic principle of bulking to to consume more calories than you expend. Typically a bulking diet will consist of around 6-8 meals per day, spread out every 2-3 hours. A cleverly structured diet will show the breakdown of carbs,protein and fats. Typical bulking calories usually range from around 3000 to 6000 and should be tailored to the needs of the individual and specific goals.

 but overall by defintion:

 bulk  (blk)

n.

1. Size, mass, or volume, especially when very large.

2.

a. A distinct mass or portion of matter, especially a large one: the dark bulk of buildings against the sky.

b. The body of a human, especially when large or muscular.

3. The major portion or greater part: “The great bulk of necessary work can never be anything but painful” (Bertrand Russell).

4. See fiber.

5. Thickness of paper or cardboard in relation to weight.

6. A ship’s cargo.

v. bulked, bulk·ing, bulks

v.intr.

1. To be or appear to be massive in terms of size, volume, or importance; loom: Safety considerations bulked large during development of the new spacecraft.

2. To grow or increase in size or importance.

3. To cohere or form a mass: Certain paper bulks well.

v.tr.

1. To cause to swell or expand.

2. To cause to cohere or form a mass.

adj.

Being large in mass, quantity, or volume: a bulk buy; a bulk mailing.

Phrasal Verb:

bulk up

To gain weight by gaining muscle: dietary supplements that helped the weightlifters bulk up.

 

Bodybuilding.com
.. actually a fantastic site for the “bulking” phase of this lifestyle show a few steps that caught my attention..

3. Eat Enough Calories To Grow But Don’t Get Sloppy

You will most likely gain some fat when bulking. In order to gain muscle you have to eat more calories than you burn and doing so can lead to some fat gain. Some people try to stay shredded while gaining muscle by either not eating enough calories or doing too much cardio. Doing so may allow them to stay super lean but they won’t be gaining much muscle. At the other end of the spectrum some people eat everything in sight to get as many calories as they can. This strategy will definitely lead to weight gain, but a lot of that weight will be fat and not muscle. The best approach is to eat sufficient calories to gain muscle but don’t get crazy with your eating and still doing some cardio to maintain cardiovascular health.

4. Do Some Cardio While Bulking

I recommend doing 2-3, 20-30 minute sessions of cardio each week while bulking (ideally on a non-weight training day) to maintain cardiovascular health and keep you fit. Cardiovascular training improves the heart’s ability to pump blood and increases oxygen uptake into cells. Strenuous weight training can be aerobically taxing and therefore having an efficient, strong heart will allow you to train harder. In addition, a fit person burns more fat at rest than an unfit person, so doing cardio while bulking can help keep you lean.

Read the rest of the article here:

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/top-10-rules-successful-clean-bulking.html

Now.. What I am doing:

How can I explain this. When you work out you have to take into consideration that you will be burning calories **(okay it also depends if you half ass shit alright? That’s why its the best to get a heart rate monitor to track JUST how many calories you are burning. It makes that much of a difference in the long run. Have you ever seen the number of calories you burn when you run on the treadmill?? Yeah now practically cut those in half and that’s your real number of calories burned. The only cardio equipment I see that’s SEMI accurate is the stairmaster and the spin bikes.. So if you don’t understand why you aren’t losing weight, its because calories are calories no matter what. If you’re half assing your workouts but eat like you ran a marathon.. it’s going to catch up to you)** Sorry about that.. so although my heart rate monitor is sitting on my desk (my spacecaseself just needs a battery.. what the shit.. lol that’s it!) Any who, I can guessitmate the amount of calories I burned and can alter the amount of the food I consume post workout (yes this is NOT accurate.. obviously)… but I don’t always have a good workout and I need to take all of that into consideration. Shitty workout usually = shitty amount of calories burned =less food to refuel..  I have been doing this for so long that once you get the hang of it you almost don’t even have to measure anything (off season of course, competing really does get down to a science).

..With that being said, I am consuming a lot of carbs. Bulk now, lean later! I have a banana in the morning with possible oatmeal (besides my regular protein shake). I have rice cakes throughout the day, and greek yogurt with grapes on occasion. I eat brown rice for lunch and possibly a carb pre and DEFINITELY post workout. I am also lifting HEAVY and burning many calories during a workout. I use the food to FUEL me and my workouts, then feed them after wards to they gain some shape. Once I have “filled” out, whenever I see the most progress, I will start upping my cardio and taking out foods one at a time. It may decreasing a meal in which it has carbs (never on leg day though. Leg days I EAT unless last week post comp).. Whatever it is, the longer I train and pretend to compete I will soon see my abs again..(and I can’t fucking wait). Another huge thing is you may feel uncomfortable, clothes might not feel right, may at times feel “fat”.. Like right now.. I feel bloated as hell and I just feel swollen. Like all over..Every where. lol. But it is what it is. I just have to be patient, and know that the more cardio I end up doing the leaner I will get but in good time. It’s all about calories in versus calories out and being smart about it. I want to see the kind of shape I can put on my legs and I will continue to eat and lift to do so. I think they have some potential.. ok ok.. I think I have some potential 🙂

Definition of potential: existing in possibility : capable of development into actuality.

A little peak into my everyday life… Eating rice cakes sitting in traffic, stoked about leg day.. walking Marley and her being all cute and shit and ending the day with a fantastic dinner grilled by the boy.. Really finished off the night 🙂

Food Log:

Am: Protein shake with fruit probably (Dymatize, Flaxseed and Hemp).
1030: snacked on a rice cake with a few almonds..
Another snack: greek yogurt and 1/2 c grapes..
Late Lunch: chicken “fried” rice..
On my way home (post workout): Applesauce, A few rice cakes and some protein later on after I prepped my meals when I got home..
Post Workout: A slice of Ezekiel with Nuts n More Protein PB and a small banana..
Dinner: MEAT!

See so right now I am not watching what I am eating.. or at least the amount of which I am eating. Once I get closer and closer, like mention previously, that’s when things start getting a bit rough (early morning cardio, no more cheat meals.. you know, the basics! haha)..

Make the most, and Enjoy everyday!

Getting stronger.. (in more ways than 1).

Got some bad news yesterday but thankfully it didn’t ruin my mood (I’m getting good at this bad news shit.. see.. making progress).. Went about my day as I usually do… had a great lunch.. then was planning on working out right after work (habit), but the man brought up getting Red Mango after work. Weird. I have legit been wanting ice cream (Cold stone really, McDonald’s would do too haha but I’ll take R. Mango all day for a “cheat”), for a while now. Him and I usually stop somewhere for ice cream and I have just been craving it. We have been going thru our little thing so I never mentioned it. Ironically he did 🙂 We stopped for a bite, it was nice to just look at him. I have been missing him like crazy ever since this shit went down. Granted I am lucky enough to see him everyday but its not the same. I want hugs and kisses, even a quick smell of his shirt/neck area (I’m a freak) would suffice.

Lunch 🙂 Whole wheat pasta, chicken and some brown rice mix.

Strawberries C. Chips and some Graham Crackers 🙂

We spent some time talking, then headed back to the shop where my car was. He needed to go help a friend, I needed to get my second work out in. Like every other time, we couldn’t just up and leave each other. We spent another hour talking, kissing, holding each other. This is what I want. No bullshit, No drama, just him. I am in love and I don’t see why or how we have so many people rooting against us and trying to ruin what we have. I have always been one to shrug off other peoples remarks, but its CONSUMING us. All I know is y’all can keep trying but I will try even harder. He is the man of my dreams.

Sorry, I hate to keep gushing but I am proud of him and I love to show his gorgeous face off.

ugh… sorry again. lmao.

So we finally get into both of our cars,  all the while I am thinking I am not going to do my second cardio session. I came up with excuses like my gym was closing in the next few hours (I don’t live close), or that I had a Crossfit class the morning before so I needed rest. Oh man I swear if I don’t want to do something I find every reason not too.. but as I was leaving and thinking to myself.. I decided just to do it. He goes out and does side jobs while I what? Sleep? Nah.. fuck that.. if he can run on empty so can I.

Insert how awesome I think he is and how much of a motivation he is to me.

Got home roughly around 9:15, and headed straight to the gym. I did a solid 30 minute cycle, DRIPPING sweat. My legs have been taking quite a beating lately.. here was me, after the work out.. definitely getting more shapely. Fuck. Yes.

Got home and made my casein cake with Nut’s N More PB (again.. fucking amazing and ever so simple)

1 scoop casein (I used Dymatize Cookies and Cream)
3 egg whites

I blended these together and microwaved for 55 seconds.

I then added the chocolate pb and microwaved for another 25 seconds. I take it out and mix everything together and then max the fuck out.

My mom was around the corner and came into the kitchen and strangely asked what I was eating after she saw what was in my bowl.. I took a bite and made sure it was fabulous and told her she needed to try it. She said no but I make people do shit. lol. kidding.. but come on its my mom! She ate it.. and came back for seconds. No joke, haven’t tried any other flavor casein, but this together was awesome. Went upstairs after cleaning up a bit and passed out around midnight. Boy was still hard at work.. God Bless him..

Woke up around 3.. 4 and maybe 5 but didn’t get out of bed till 6.. Met up with a little lady for our first Crossfit session. It wasn’t bad at all, but it was the introductory session so its always a little easy. Not to forget I have been a personal trainer for a while so I know most of what he was saying, but none the less enjoyed it all. I really feel my shit getting back together. Working out is hard especially when you lack what gets you going, motivation. But as I have been saying before to a couple people, once you get started you’ll keep going. When the results start showing and you start feeling proud and accomplished you’ll wonder why you never started before.

I do want it to be known that miracles don’t happen over night. It took longer then 2 weeks to put on, it’ll take longer then 2 weeks to take it off. Don’t give up, and if you do remember every squat lunge and mile you can and just know you’ll be undoing it all. It gets me every time, especially when I am mid workout and I am in pain.. I remember that shit.

Any who.. did a little sprint action when I got done Crossfit.. wanted to burn some more calories I suppose.. Going about my day as usual but anticipating later tonight.. getting a little work out in then have a little movie date with the pretty boy…

Straight Cheesin’

Jamie Eason Recipe.

Lemon Protein Bars.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup oat flour
• 2 scoops vanilla whey protein
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 2 qt mix Crystal Light (preferably without aspartame)
• 4 egg whites
• 1/2 cup Splenda, Truvia, or Ideal
• 8 oz baby food applesauce
• 4 oz water

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Mix oat flour, vanilla whey protein, salt, baking soda and crystal light, in large bowl.
3. Mix egg whites, Splenda, applesauce and water in a bowl.
4. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix together.
5. Spray 8×8 glass pyrex dish with non-stick butter spray.
6. Pour ingredients into dish.
7. Bake 23 minutes.

Makes 16 squares, 2 squares per serving.

Even though I am a little pessimistic right now, I can’t take it out on my fellow followers.. so here is Jamie Eason’s Lemon Protein Bars. She is amazing in every way! Check out the bodybuilding site for more recipes from her 🙂

http://www.bodybuilding.com

The ever so anticipated progress pictures:

No explanations, no validations no more disclaimers (besides this one, that is)..

After AM show this is what I ate….

and then this is what I looked like (bloated) after breakfast..

…..btw have NO idea why my pictures are turning sideways and upside down lol. I apologize.

Post Comp/ Weekend Recap

Well that sucked.

Lmfao. I don’t even know where to begin. I wrote a Thursday post but never posted it for some reason. I’ll start from there I suppose. So I had to wake up extra early to finish cardio before I had to pick up my bosses kids for school (yeah…. I know).. But regardless the day went as planned. After work I headed over to the nail place, got acrylics and my toe nails painted. This took about an hour, at which point I went directly to Taylor’s salon. We ended up doing an all over, an eggplant color. This took about 2 hours at which point, was already 930 at night, but still made it to the gym to do some cardio and sit in the sauna. After I finished with her I went right to the hotel and tried to unwind.

Friday morning wasn’t as hectic as I thought. I got up thinking that they had a fitness center in the hotel but they didn’t. No big deal I just went to X Sport down the street, finished cardio and on the way home stopped at Sunset foods (which is like a Whole Foods), and got a turkey and some sugar free cookies for after the show. I was running a little behind only because I called Taylor’s salon and she wasn’t there yet so I waited for her text to tell me to come by. We started my tanning process a little before noon. I was there till 3 fucking o’clock. This Jan Tana BULLSHIT was just that, bullshit. Turned me black and did NOT look good sprayed on. So after I left her salon looking like a fucking moron, I went back to the hotel. I wasn’t that upset because I still had time to get sprayed (she had another solution she wanted me to try), but I fell asleep for a couple hours. I woke up at about 630pm and Mike came over. We picked up Marley and headed over to Bridgeview, Il to check in at the gym over there. I was running so fucking late. Why I took a nap before check in is beyond me, but I literally made it with 5 minutes to spare. 5 minutes. 7:55pm no joke. After all this I went back to the hotel and we just chilled. Marley was being the biggest pain in the ass and I had no idea why but Mike left for a bit and I fell back asleep.

Taylor came over at midnight (after I kept falling asleep), and we started spraying another coat of this tan called Fake Bake (which she originally wanted to use prior to using the jan tana color) but I was hesitant because its not a competition spray.. I understand it may get someone dark but on stage is awhole nother story. You should be BLACK … lol.. she finished at about 2am. She left, mike came back and I laid upright in bed for 2 hours.  Got up at 5am, took a shower to wash off the excess solution, but the entire tan came off. So at 530 am on the morning of my comp, I was about as pale as they come. Awesome.

Well, Taylor came back at 530am, and wanted to just spray just this bronzer on me but I remembered we had another bottle of a different solution made by jan tana, so.. I got naked, stood in front of the mirror and we both started applying this solution. Well.. it looked better. I guess.. if better just means I looked….. uh different? lol.. I was streaky as fuck and just getting pissed. I needed to be out the door at 7am because I had a mandatory meeting at 830am in CHICAGO (which not to mention is FUCKING BULLSHIT! that and the whole checking in at USA gym.. just is so stupid and you would think they know that this whole thing is stressful enough).. whatever.. anywho…. so as I’m getting pissed.. hair is still curly as all hell.. and still had to finish my hair and put my make up on as my tan tried to dry. Ohhhhhhhh the time just flew by. Taylor was patient as shit with me (God bless her) and we finally got all our shit together and I was on the road at 730am.. traffic was a little bad at times because of some summit shit but I got to there within 45 minutes. Not like I really could of gave a shit.. but whatever.

So I got to the theater, found a semi decent parking spot and just sat there. It was raining… I had no umbrella or anything to cover my hair body or face with… so I just sat there for another 2 minutes ready to just book it. People were piling in, and vendors were setting up.. I waited for Taylor and we got some final touches done.. Bloated, streaky, hair frizzy, and bikini too small… I felt like shit.. especially seeing these beautiful ladies.. beautiful TANNED ladies… lmao.. ughhhhhhhhh…

Alright well it was what it was.. I really didn’t have time to take any pictures (it was so packed in the pump up room), and it was STICKY in there. This is a huge problem. My hair.. yeah.. unless you know me personally you’ll never understand. my hair is fucking crazy. I could feel it getting worse. I couldn’t stop touching it. I didn’t know what to do.. not to mention NO PONYTAIL HOLDER???? Really???????????????? Since when don’t I have a scrunchie? fuck me. Yup and then they called bikini tall. Lined up. Last one in line. Couldn’t stop grabbing my ass, complete wedgie. Why? forgot bikini bite. After hours of “preparation”… yes I borrowed some but I should of done it WAY earlier.. Oh so picture me.. fidgeting with my hair, my ass, and walking like I have something in my ass. OIL SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED IN THE PUMP UP ROOM.. Guys don’t care because they are bare foot, so they just drip that shit errrrrrywhere. Yes I just  want to bitch.. Well yeah so that was me. Even on stage. Most embarrassing 5 minutes of my life. Why? I KNEW I wasn’t ready and I was just doing this because I felt obligated. Yes I worked hard but I took this like it was just something I signed up for. I wasn’t ready. I knew it. I am upset with suitsyouswimwear, my bikini was not custom made.. I was holding water like it was nobodies business… My hands are still black from the original Jan Tana tan (my elbows? Oh yeah.. I look like a giraffe or a cow.. whatever.. oh yeah.. actually… a cow fits me PERFECTLY!) Seriously though, I apologize. I’m not fat per say, but I sure did feel it. I took pictures after I got home from breakfast that are currently uploading..

Okay back on track.. so yeah blahblahblah got my happy ass off stage real fast, gathered my shit up and went to breakfast. Please see below:

How AMAZING! Only finished half of each(okay more then half of my waffle… but that’s because we were there for awhile and I knew I wasn’t going to take home a waffle.. so I couldn’t help myself!) lol my stomach was hurting.. So after breakfast I went back to the hotel to actually check in for another night.. I had called and asked for a late check out (which was $10 per extra hour) but since the room was less then $60 it was just better to not have to worry about packing up and going home since my sister just arrived back from Minnesota… so I went back up to my room and chilled out for a bit, while I did my own photo shoot.. please don’t be offended, you should know by now but I take provocative pictures.. Please see below as well:

haha yeah.. so that was me bloated.. okay even MORE bloated after that wonderful waffle creation.  Lmfao.. also stopped at a “chocolate factory” haha.. it was a tiny chocolate store I saw on the way to breakfast.. Got cookie dough dipped in chocolate.. then finished my night with Buffalo Wild Wings.. my FAVE restaurant lol and ate part of my life away there too… Ordered whatever I wanted without a care in the world. Felt awesome. I don’t remember what time I feel asleep but I woke up Sunday, at 930am feeling fully charged.

I finished packing up my shit and checked out of the hotel at 1130am and headed home. Found my sister, or rather my sisters clothes EVERYWHERE.. sucks I don’t have my own room when she comes home because she steals shit. And thinks shes entitled to whatever she wants to do.. meaning all my shit is moved and whatever lose odds and ends I may have had lying around are misplaced or taken for ransom or until I find it in her purse a week later. I took a nap for a few hours, got up, got in a fight with my sister, and about an hour later I left to go meet up with mike so we could go to coldstone. yep. coldstone.. lol

Even though it sucked because I didn’t add in enough shit lol. So it was basically ice cream.. but it was still better then chicken and broccoli. Thatsferdamnsure.

Blahblahblah and now its Monday. Clean relaxed eating now.

Literally feel awesome. I don’t have to worry about anything anymore, except lifting big and eating big! I WANT TO GROW! I have SO much potential and it sucks I did something to “track” my progress KNOWING I wasn’t ready but I will continue to go strong. I am so excited to finally be allowed almost twice as many carbs as the last month, and using that energy to kick ass in the gym.. This show was a stepping stone for bigger and better things.. I am STOKED.. seriously fucking ecstatic. Game on.

Supps 101 L-Carnitine

is a substance that helps the body turn fat into energy. Your body makes it in the liver and kidneys and stores it in the skeletal muscles, heart, brain, and sperm.

 

Dietary Sources:

Red meat (particularly lamb) and dairy products are the main food sources of carnitine. It can also be found in fish, poultry, tempeh, wheat, asparagus, avocados, and peanut butter.

Available Forms:

Carnitine is available as a supplement in a variety of forms.

• L-carnitine: the most widely available and least expensive
• Acetyl-L-carnitine: Often used in studies for Alzheimer’s disease and other brain disorders
• Propionyl-L-carnitine: Often used in studies for heart disease and peripheral vascular disease

Avoid D-carnitine supplements. They interfere with the natural form of L-carnitine and may produce unwanted side effects.

In some cases, L-carnitine may be taken by prescription or given intravenously by a health care provider.

 

 

This is what I take from GNC, $19.99

It goes GREAT with my green smoothies,  makes it a little sour.

How to Take It:

Pediatric

Don’ t give carnitine supplements to a child without your child’s health care provider’s supervision. Your child’s health care provider should first make sure that the child has a carnitine deficiency.

Adult

Recommended doses of L-carnitine vary depending on the health condition being treated. The usual dose is between 1 – 3 g per day.

Precautions:

Because supplements may have side effects or interact with medications, you should take them only under the supervision of a knowledgeable health care provider.

Side effects are generally mild. High doses (5 or more grams per day) may cause diarrhea. Other rare side effects include increased appetite, body odor, and rash.

People with the following conditions should talk to their health care provider before taking carnitine:

• Peripheral vascular disease
• High blood pressure
• Liver disease from alcoholism (cirrhosis)
• Diabetes
• Kidney disease
• History of seizures

http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/carnitine-l-000291.htm#ixzz1mqKpFScg

I put the liquid L-Carnitine in my green smoothie, like mentioned earlier. You can take it in pill form (I’m trying to stay away from pills really hence why I even bought the liquid version in the first place).

However.. after reading this… two things stood out to me:

Exercise Performance

Although carnitine is often taken to boost exercise performance, there is no evidence it works.

Weight Loss

Although L-carnitine has been marketed as a weight loss supplement, there is no scientific evidence to show that it works. Some studies do show that oral carnitine reduces fat mass, increases muscle mass, and reduces fatigue, which may contribute to weight loss in some people.

&& that’s that only reason I take it.. So.. why take something that may not be good for me? Well I just bought a brand new bottle. I am currently taking no other supplements (I say I take a multi but NOT daily.. I’m a straight basket case. NOR have I taken Glutamine), and I will stop taking NINJA (my all natural pre workout).

I’m going to figure this out. Or at least try to listen to how my body feels. My energy levels have always  been low and it sucks 😦 I mean normal caffeine makes me tired. A black cup of coffee literally PUTS ME TO BED… :(:(:(:( OKOK.. so This is going to be my little experiment…. maybe my body doesn’t naturally produce enough? hmmmm…… 🙂

What others had to say about L-carnitine:

“Other than that, it’s harmless. It is pretty close to useless, because since 1996 we’ve known that it really doesn’t seem to increase athletic performance, but it’s harmless, which is a lot more than we can say for most supplements”.

 

“The effects of ALCAR supplementation benefit everybody, but are much more effective in older individuals and those with metabolic abnormalities such as dementia, metabolic syndrome, or chronic fatigue syndrome”.

 

After reading this http://www.chasefreedom.com/lcarnitine.htmlI found it’s unnecessary to take an L-Carnitine supplement unless you were maybe a vegetariansince beef is already high in it. Milk, cheese, and poultry have some as well. CLA appears beneficial when paired with a good diet and exercise program, but it’s not a miracle supplement and will not see any results if you have a bad diet and don’t bust your ass in the gym. Bottom line, CLA is the choice between the two but it’s results probably won’t be very noticeable, so the choice is up to you, (this guy was talking about taking CLA AND L-Carnitine together).

 

I’ve come to a conclusion, that I don’t think I want to take any supplements anymore. However, CLA and L-carnitine ARE produced in the body, I just don’t think I want this “junk” that doesn’t have any huge evidence resulting in weight loss. I always say there is no magic pill, and that’s true, but there ARE things that are able to help aid in weight loss.  NOTHING will help, however, if you eat like shit.

AND THEN I READ THIS:

#4: Carnitine
Carnitine is a water soluble nutrient, similar to B vitamin, that allows us to convert fat into energy. Carnitine and its derivative, acetyl L-carnitine (see below) are two of the most important nutrients for weight loss. However, for carnitine to have optimum effect, there must be adequate essential fatty acids (such as omega-3s) present in the diet. Carnitine is critical for energy formation and an active metabolism. Small amounts of carnitine can be obtained from foods such as meats and dairy products, but to get an adequate supply, we must take carnitine supplements. Carnitine provides anti-aging benefits by enhancing energy production in the cell, which is needed for cellular repair. Studies have also shown that carnitine helps prevent muscle loss during illness and also prevents the muscle loss associated with aging, known as sarcopenia. Carnitine is protective of liver function and enhances and protects the immune system, especially under stressful conditions.

Dosage Recommendation: The recommended dose for an adult under the age of 30 without ill health or obesity is approximately 500 milligrams per day. For those who are obese or have other health problems, the recommendation is 1500 to 2000 milligrams per day, taken in 500 milligram doses 3 or 4 times per day.

Carnitine Tips

• Do not take carnitine in the evening as it may interfere with sleep.
• Carnitine may be taken with or without food.
• For better utilization of fat for energy take omega 3 fish oil with carnitine.

Foods to enjoy: grass-fed beef, dairy

Found in:
Health & Weight Management

WHAT. THE. FUCK.

and another form of carnititne:

#5: Acetyl L-Carnitine
Like carnitine, acetyl-l-carnitine improves mitochondrial function, but to an even greater degree – because it can pass through the mitochondrial membrane. And like carnitine, acetyl-l-carnitine functions best when there is adequate dietary intake of omega-3 essential fatty acids. Both forms of carnitine are important in a weight loss regimen because they act as natural anti-inflammatories, they aid in transportation of fats into the mitochondria to be burned. They also enhance the sensitivity of insulin receptors, helping to decrease blood sugar and circulating levels of insulin. As we have learned, high levels of insulin are inflammatory and ‘lock’ our body fat in place.

Dosage Recommendation: 500 milligrams per day; however, individuals on a weight loss program may take up to 1500 milligrams of acetyl-carnitine daily. Consult with your physician first.

Hmm.. MAYBE.. I will think about taking CLA and L-Carnitine (and another product, but that’s for another blog), together when I get closer to competition (usually when the last stubborn pounds wont come off), but until then I’m just going to keep researching.