Tag Archives: healthy-living

The life of a Fitness Freak!

Finally.. a night where no alarms are set and NO obligations tomorrow. So what better to do on a Friday night at 9:53pm than to blog? Well not only do I have nothing to do (nor do I want to do anything) but I took a nap around 6:30 for about an hour and half. Not too smart of an idea because I have a feeling I will be up quite late :/ No worries. I will be in bed all night. That, or on the floor doing burpees, planks, pushups and sit ups ;D

Not kidding either.

I worked from 8am to around 2:30. My longest Saturday since working at the gym. Most people don’t like working out on the weekends which is weird. Not weird I guess, just different from my last experience at a gym. I don’t mind though. Usually it means I get the whole weekend off. I pretty much worked straight through, client after client. But scheduled around a 9am spin class. It was nice. I left about 10 minutes early to make sure I had enough time to change and to eat my post work out meal.

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Tuna, sweet potatoes and a banana. Yum (or not).

I had 2 cancellations at the end which were a bummer. Mostly because it wasted an hour of which I could have saved a little more energy to get a work out in. Instead I waited around. Spent a little more time with a previous client, then left shortly after. Being in the gym for as long as I am, I am getting use to (and loving) at home work outs. Again, mostly burpees, planks, push ups, tricep dips, other core work, body weight squats, and kettle bell (db swings). I have a few weights but nothing to extreme, so I am playing around with different rep schemes and tempos. I need to invest in more resistance bands and KB’s. I think this will also help me help clients when they are too busy to get in the gym. I had a client today say that he gets off track when he doesn’t work out. So knowing that, I HAVE A SOLUTION! NO MORE EXCUSES!!

So not much going on tonight. Since I didn’t get a work out in at the gym (besides the 50 minutes of spin class, aka cardio) and I have already taken 2 rest days this week, I got a little proactive. I went to the park and did some pull ups and rows then came home and did “lawnmowers” for a couple of sets. I want to get a picture, or at least a video, because my back is coming in real well. Even JP said something. I mentioned how I was 150lbs and he was like no way?! So I marched my happy ass over to the scale and 151 with my clothes and shoes on (also about 3 meals in and a ton of liquids. If you plan on weighing yourself I suggest doing it in the morning right when you wake up. Okay, after you go to the bathroom that is). I don’t mind being 150. Like you may know, I have suffered from many eating disorders. The scale was the enemy and would ruin my day if I was not under such and such pounds. Not anymore. I never weigh myself. Instead, I go by how I look and feel. The scale is meaningless to me. Anyways, so after I was done weighing myself, Jp commented on my back and how it looks great. Always a nice feeling to hear a compliment here and there πŸ˜‰

So that is my Friday night. Just enjoying my bed and making sure I stick to my word and blog since I knew I wouldn’t yesterday.

We left for the track around 6:30pm. I finished with my client a little early and got home, changed and packed my lunch box. LOL. Ohhhh why you ask? Remember? 4 week no cheat for this little lady! I wonder if I can do it. Actually, I will do. Just to say that I can. Now.. This means no cheat meal. However, I stole a handful of popcorn yesterday and although no clean, I still don’t consider it a cheat. It’s little things like that, that will keep you sane. I promise you. You want something, have it. Because it will be a downward spiral if you don’t. Even today, my last client and I were talking. He gained 25lbs since really staying consistent with me. I weighed and did his body fat and surprisely only about 50% was from fat, the other muscle. Which made him feel a little better. But we got to talking about how he would actually binge. Not many guys would admit that, but at least I could help him through it.

Anywhooooo..

Oh, just sitting in the car eating.

Oh, just sitting in the car eating.

Since I am not having a cheat meal till my birthday, I knew that the track would be a little tease. I usually get a burger but.. not this time 😦 The boy actually wanted a funnel cake but I made him get a beer instead so I wasn’t tempted. LOL! He wasn’t happy with me. But.. it is what it is. I ended up packing 2 quest bars, carrots blueberries and strawberries. I should have packed a little more or at least ate more because I was STARVING. We had a good time. His friend ended up getting a spot in the hat races and made it all the way till the final round! So, we ended up there quite late. I didn’t mind… For once. We had a good time. I did get upset for a minute or two because I was in the car with another one of his friends girlfriends chilling in the A/C (LOL)Β  and a situation got brought up that I had dealt with the day before. I am trying this whole “trust” thing and all of a sudden this gets brought up again. I was instantly not happy. I almost don’t even want to go into detail because i don’t want to give them the satisfication of knowing it pisses me off. I handled the situation pretty well, I’d say. Usually I’d freak and blow up at them but figured that’s exactly what they wanted. So.. I am choosing to be the bigger person and to be honest, it feels good.

It was beautiful out. That, or a sick filter!

It was beautiful out. That, or a sick filter!

MMMM Camaro.

MMMM Camaro.

The last race was our boy and this corvette that seemed to be smoking the competition. They ended up talking before the final race and the guy wanted land. WHICH I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BUT I KNEW WAS BULLSHIT. Our guy ended up losing but it was a close race. Honestly, a good time. We left around 11:30/12 and headed to Buffalo WIld Wings to grab some food because I was starving. I ended up getting a salad, but not before I ordered celery and carrots with our drinks (seriously, I was starving). The salad was pretty good. I was debating between a wrap and this, but decided I could do without the carbs (and the wrap doesn’t have much chicken). So I figured if I was going to consume the extra calories of the ranch dressing (on the side), I would rather skip the extra carbs and go with more protein. After we were done, we went home and passed out around 1:30/2am. About 4 hours before I had to be up. Maybe that’s why I am always tired. Ugh. But.. got up no problem and started my day.

BUFFALO WILD WINGS FTW!

BUFFALO WILD WINGS FTW!

Food for the day (Spaced throughout the day. Just didn’t track the time):
Quest bar on the way to work.
Tuna, some sweet potatoes, and a banana post spin class.
1/2 c WW pasta, 99% lean ground turkey and some organic pasta sauce 2 hours later.
Blueberries and carrots not too long after that.
Another serving of the pasta mentioned above.
1/2 (or a little more. Now that I get the big container of yogurt [cheaper], I have to measure it all out and that’s just a pain when you can get the convenience of the cups) with strawberries and blueberries.
1 Kind bar (dark chocolate, nuts and sea salt. MY FAVE).
1/4c sweet potatoes.
25 Almonds.
Oh, and some Gatorade during spin.

Now.. not too sure what I want to eat next. I haven’t had eggs in a while. Maybe I will eat that with some cottage cheese. Maybe this is why I am not losing weight lol. I am not really paying attention to my calorie intake and barely doing cardio (AND EATING TOO MANY ALMONDS!!!!!). I think this week has been the most cardio I have done. I know I did a 30 minute, a 15, and a 45 min session. Maybe do some more tomorrow but don’t want to do too much. I am still pretty far out from the show I am training for (yes, I said training for not necessarily doing lol). So I will take my time and enjoy the time I don’t have to do cardio because I have a feeling a lot more cardio is in my future :/

But.. you do what you gotta do to look good right? No real progress pictures today. Maybe I will tomorrow. I do still have a flat stomach (abs when flexing) this late at night which is a good sign. So we will see. Going to cook some food for my last meal and finish cleaning my room. Ohhhhh the exciting life I live.

;D

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Leg Work Out Posted!

Can’t believe I’ve posted 3 days in a row. Lmao.. I usually get side tracked or fall asleep but dang!

Today was an alright day. I planned on going into work a few hours early to work out with H but as soon as I got there he left because he wasn’t feeling well. I was about 4 hours early so I was taking my time. Ended up talking to a few co workers for about an hour before I got started.
12pm Got to work
1pm Finally start working out. Light leg day today..

LEG DAY BABY!

My thighs look huge compared to my calves lol

My thighs look huge compared to my calves lol

I warmed up with Box Squats.
Bar @ 15reps
135lbs x 12reps supersetted with 20 BW Lunges
135lbs x 12reps another 20 Lunges
155lbs x 10reps – 20 lunges
165lbs x 8reps- 20 lunges

Leg Curl 40lbs x 12reps
45lbs x 10
50lbs x 12
Super set with abduction:
135lbs x 15
150lbs x 15
145lbs x 12
Adduction:
135lbs x 15reps
145lbs x 15reps
145lbs x 12reps

Leg Press:
180lbs x 12reps
180lbs x 12reps
270lbs x 8reps
270lbs x 8reps

Superset with 20 lunges and 10 Leg Ext @ 80lbs

Last but not least, Single Leg Squats (BW) 10ea leg with 15box jumps (3x total).

This took me about an hour and I burned roughly 600 calories. Afterwards I had about an hour and 1/2 before my next client, so I went in my car and chilled a bit. I drank a 2:1 (carbs to protein) drink but headed back in with 30 minutes left. I didn’t want to just waste the time I had, so I finished with 20 minutes of cardio.

Treadmill:
10 minutes @ 8.0 Incline w/ 3.0 speed.
5 minutes 0 incline / 1.0 speed and I LUNGED! finished with another
5 minutes 5 incline/ 1.0 speed

photo 3

You know youre working out when your knees sweat!

Afterwards, I finished 1/2 of a quest bar and ate a greek yogurt.

4pm Trained Holli and she had a kick ass work out
4:30-5:30 Two more clients.
I then had an hour in between my last apt so I went to Chipotle and ate. It seems like I am always hungry πŸ˜‰
7-7:30pm Last client and was out the door around 7:45pm

Really not counting my calories or my macros lately. I am going to enjoy this weekend and then come monday really give it my all like I mentioned previously. I am still barely doing any cardio (first session was the treadmill I did today, all week), and yet still seeing results which is so straight. I can only imagine once I start adding cardio in my schedule.. Hmm…

Spinach Strawberries Lemon and Water

Spinach Strawberries Lemon and Water

Other than that, I had a green smoothie (MY FAVE!!!), the rest of my grape nuts (lol), cottage cheese, greek yogurt, almonds, chipotle, a banana, and a protein shake. Oh.. and I just ate 1/2 of a watermelon. Yup.. Look..

:P

πŸ˜›

Lol.

Also made kale chips for a snack..

Preheat oven to 350 Coat with Olive Oil Sprinkle Salt Bake to 12-14 min

Preheat oven to 350
Coat with Olive Oil
Sprinkle Salt
Bake to 12-14 min

Going to be chilling the rest of the night with the boy. I have an early morning tomorrow. Took on a client at 8:30 just in time for my 9:15am Spin Class followed by 2 more clients. Short day but I hear tits going to be a super nice weekend so… not going to complain (for once).

Well enjoy and get moving!!!!!!!!

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Oh, a day in a life of a Personal Trainer!

So I figured out a new way to make my blog semi more interesting. Living the life of a personal trainer could get hectic to say the least and I think writing about what I go through day-to-day could be beneficial to some knowing how busy I am through the day, yet how I make time to eat and get my work outs in. Yes, working at a gym makes it a tad bit easier but trust me, excuses over power the convenience of working in a gym.

I sleep in my car. I eat in my car. I get IT (what it is) done because it HAS to be done if I want the results I so badly desire.

So here we go.

Today is Wednesday. A day where I wake up at 4am. Yay. However, I knew that it would be a crazy day so I prepared my food last night. That gave me an extra 15 minutes in bed, and trust me I enjoyed every last second.

photo 1

4:15am Wake up
4:30am In car driving, eating a Quest Bar (170c 24g carb 17g fiber 20g protein mmmmm).
5-7am Worked with a few clients
I had a cancellation from 6-630am so I took a power nap in the yoga room
7-930am I slept in my car. Sweating. It was over 80* out and I woke up to drool falling from my mouth. 1 banana was ate (105c 27g carb 1g protein).
930-1030am More clients. Met a new one. Always interesting.

Was going to work out around 11am. Thinking I needed a rest day because my entire body hurts but figured why not. However, I felt sick. I had no idea what was going on so I went home. (These posts will become more interesting once I start posting my actual work outs and progress pictures).

1130am Arrived home and ate a ‘flat-out’ wrap (90 calories 16g carb 9g fiber 9g protein) with chicken (276c 0g carb 52g protein), and greek yogurt (100c 7g carb 18g protein).

photo 2
12pm Took Marley to the forest preserve but by the time she got out of the car she was already panting and not having it. So, I did a few body weight tricep dips/squats/push ups and sprints then we headed back.

photo 3

Stopped at McDonald’s and got Marley a hamburger then finished my greek yogurt and rest of the chicken. Took another 15 min and did some jumping jacks/burpees and more squats.
Burned a total of 288 calories.

1:30-245pm Just chilled with Marley. Ate a piece of pita bread (210c 43g carb 3g fiber 8g protein) with 1 TBS all natural PB (100c 6g carb 1g fiber 4g protein).

My cuddle buddy..

My cuddle buddy..

3:30-6pm More clients. Really love them all. Between my 5:30 and 6:00 client I ate another yogurt.
6:30pm Did 10 minutes on the stairmaster and another 15 minutes on the treadmill with a client.
Burned 137 calories (yippie).

7:30pm
left for home. Stopped for gas, ate 20 almonds (139c 5g carb 5g protein), and picked up a cup of chili at my favorite restaurant (360c 16g carb 20g protein).
8pm Here we are πŸ™‚

Going to have one more meal (but by the looks of my totals, I should have more than 1 meal lol). Most likely egg whites a little cottage cheese and broccoli. Going to chill out for the rest of night. I’ve been getting super overwhelmed lately so sleep has been my best friend. Tomorrow I get to sleep in a bit. Nothing like turning off your 3:45am alarms..

Total Macros for the day:
1,695 calories 86g carbs 125g protein.

Total Calories burned for the day:
425 calories (Weak sauce. Fail).

Definitely not what I should be eating. I am about 600 calories 100c carbs and 60g protein short for the day. I am going to continue to eat how I have been eating and starting Monday I will prepare the needed macros for the day. I will see how things go. Personally I think 2200 calories is too much but I am going to listen to what I am told and just do it. Most days I burn over 1000 calories via work outs so it’s possible that 2200 calories is needed but I am so impatient I just want to start getting lean! Patience Marissa, patience.

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Happy 4th of July!

It’s already 10 pm, so what I SHOULD be doing is passing out only to wake up in 6 hours. However, I decided I needed to get started on my weekend trip to wisco sooner rather than later. The boy and I left Wednesday night around 10pm and got to the house around 2am (I believe).. We did our usual stop at the gas station before heading onto the road in which I just started doing lunges from the car to the station (not one fuck was given). It was in my best interest to work out while I was up there… but that DID not happen. I randomly did squats and push ups (and 25 BW bench dips at 12:26pm in front of a crowd of people before I went in and bought a launch pass LOL) but nothing that prevented that 2lb weight gain at the end of the trip (yes.. I gained weight. oh no!)..

Anyways.. Our last stop before the house was Walmart, where we picked up a few things (rather healthy might I add considering the boy and I are legit fat kids) then headed to his house to get some sleep. The first day we woke up around 10:30/11 and was on the water around noon. The first day was a good one for me and I snagged quite a few different fish off different lures/flicker shads ext which is always a good time! We didn’t leave till around 10PM, yes 10 hours later.. But it was nice because it was the 4th of July and while we were driving the boat back we got to see fireworks from every angle. After that, I believe the boy blew up some shit then we headed to bed. The second day was nice too. I got to lay out for a few hours trying to salvage any color I could, while the boy was off doing his thing. Luckily I packed a few bags of fruit because we were not prepared. The sun just beat down on us and I felt dehydrated at times. I should have brought more food along but I guess I didn’t think I’d last 10 hours on the water.

Bags had watermelon, grapes, blueberries and strawberries!

Bags had watermelon, grapes, blueberries and strawberries!

The next day I believe we were out on the water around the same time but packed up around 6:30/7 to meet a couple of his friends that came down. They had a pretty rough weekend so they weren’t really feeling it. They ended up drinking (as did I but to be honest it was a complete bust. I don’t drink but after 6 shots I was still stone cold sober.. complete fail and waste of precious calories) and blowing off the rest of the fire works. We ended up all taking the ATV out and caused major trouble. In which, I lost a flip-flop, ran into a fence and had the weight of the ATV and Nizzle’s bodyweight come crashing on me.. Yeah.. things got pretty wild. Not smart. Not safe. Don’t try this at home.

-1

Surprisingly, the next morning they went home. They didn’t even go out fishing! I didn’t mind. Just more QT with the boy. We ended up going out to eat where I had a massive burger. See..? LOL and this wasn’t even the picture of the first one. This picture is actually the SECOND time I ordered it.. Yep! We went out to eat at the same place the last day before we went home and I got it again. No shit I gained 2 lbs… I ate it in the form of burgers!! Haha..

LOL

LOL

That was basically our trip. It was nice to be out in the middle of the water and not have a care in the world. Except I did (besides being on my boy’s case about being on his phone all the damn time), the minute I stepped into my bikini I was bloated. I was bloated all weekend. Yes it makes sense (going from a clean diet, to well.. not so much), but it was so embarrassing. Take this picture for example..

Bad ass fish but COME ON! Where are my abs???????!

Bad ass fish but COME ON! Where are my abs???????!

I go from having abs pre vacation to none prior. This is a progress shot I took before the vacation. And let me tell you, I looked NOTHING like this all weekend. It sucked. I worked so hard and I felt like a piece of shit. I don’t know.. But what I do know is how much I wanted to get back in the gym. I missed feeling good.

Progress Pre Vacation :/

Progress Pre Vacation :/

Here is a picture I took while waiting for the boy to put the boat on the trailer. Probably the only thing I am proud of… considering my arms have always been a weak point of mine. Still didn’t take away from looking/feeling like shit. That was/is my only complaint. I just WISH I looked good. It is so vain of me but it is what it is. Again, I worked so hard and it looked like I didn’t work out a day in my life. Such a complete and utter fail.

Yeah buddy!

Yeah buddy!

&& here are a few more pictures of the weekend and a few pictures of what I’ve been eating:

My little fishy :D

My little fishy πŸ˜€

:P

πŸ˜›

photo 3

photo 5

Shopping cart. Shit is on starting today 7/8/13!

Shopping cart. Shit is on starting today 7/8/13!

 

Def not a 1/b burger.. but would def rather see my abs then enjoy something for 5.2 minutes..

Def not a 1/b burger.. but would def rather see my abs then enjoy something for 5.2 minutes..

I am not going to stress over the 2lb weight gain, or the picture that I look terrible in. No.. I am trying to become a better person physically and mentally. I am going to push forward from this day on. I am going to give it my all and strive to be the best person inside and out that I can. I can’t keep going down the same path expecting to find a secret path. I have to CREATE it. It is up to me and only me and I will keep on trucking along till I find my way. I do have a lot of great help and a good support team now (which is way different from the last show I prepped for). So a ton of progress pictures will be on their way! Still debating whether to go into detail about what I am doing diet wise only because it is designed for ME. Following what I do may or may not be a good thing. However, I do want to keep track of macros and the progress I make in the weight room. So, maybe I will post it (with a huge disclaimer)!

Heading to bed now (11:24pm fml). I am currently training quite a bit and quite early in the mornings now so I am trying to get as much sleep as possible (that’s when muscles grow right?!) even if it means sleeping in my car. Yes, sleeping in my car. Welcome to the life of a personal trainer.

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(insert an awesome title here)!

*Have been trying to post this since last night. So yes, I am well aware today is not in fact sunday..

Sunday Funday! 

and 3 work outs later.. yep. That’s right, 3. I left the boys house around 10am and headed to the LA right by his house. I did 45 minutes of cardio 408 calories burned, 27% from fat. I went home, ate, and chit chatted with the mom. I then went to Round Lake for a full body work out, burning 813 calories, 40% from fat. I then went back home ate again, then went for an hour walk with mom and Marley. That I think burned 477 calories. That was a tough one. The minute I walked out there I started cramping up. Mom said we didn’t have to go the entire time but sometimes you just have to push yourself.

I have been working out a lot lately only having to take a few days off when I go up to Wisconsin for July 4th. Staying till sunday all I will be doing is practically eating and fishing lol. I don’t mind but definitely not a few hundred calorie work out… Planning to do a little run in the morning. Wake up run do some lunges squats.. you know a little cardio made fun. Can’t wait for the pictures to be taken. It is so beautiful I don’t think I’ll mind running one bit!

Yes.. that means I hate running.

Eating A LOT of eggs lately..

Eating A LOT of eggs lately..

Just a few things I have been eating..

GRAPENUTS ARE AMAZING. nuff' said.

GRAPENUTS ARE AMAZING. nuff’ said.

Still paying attention to what I am eating. Someone left a comment and asked if I changed my diet when I messed my shiat up… and to be honest if I did I wouldn’t remember enough to explain it. lol.. I just laid off it a bit (work out wise) and massaged the crap out of it. Speaking of which, I need to do more of. I barely stretch and I am ruining my body by not doing so (see below picture). That, or I am going to heavy too quickly. Take this picture I posted on instagram/fb the other day, hoping to get some answers..

photo 2

Do you see that dent in my leg? Apparently it’s from an IT band being too tight. Mostly likely resulting in a pulled/teared muscle. Yep. Lol. I will list the couple of websites that were posted to help explain it. I don’t have it on the other leg and it doesn’t hurt at all. Just.. weird looking. I may of first thought that it was water weight because I had a small indent in the back of my butt a little further down my hamstring. It went away the leaner I got though..

Interesting to say the least..
Last night, I went to the boys and wanted to go to dinner. While he was taking a shower I sat down and wrote my macros out. I was dead on with my carbs, a little lower on the calories but nowhere near the protein amounts. That being said, I knew I wanted a steak :). He threw out Joes Crab Shack and me being a non seafood person, meh but I agreed once I knew they served steaks. So I was excited. However, in the bathroom he was talking with a friend and “made plans” to meet at a pizza place. Now.. I wasn’t upset that he wanted to go with another couple even though I like spending time alone with him, nor was it the pizza place because this was IN FACT one of the pizza joints I am DYING to go.. it was the fact that I knew the majority of shit I’d be eating was carbs. That didn’t make me happy. I NEEDED more protein (I have been counting my macros for the last few days)!! 😦 So of course I practically through a fit because I suck at communication but seriously, don’t mess with me when it comes to food. But honestly, if I wasn’t competing or even thinking about competing I wouldn’t of cared. Could I have just dealt with it and went anyways? probably.. but who am I trying to impress? I don’t NEED to hang out with people (hence why I spend so much time at home) but what I do need to do is appreciate him and do things I sometimes don’t want to do for the sole fact of this relationship.. ugh.. always a work in progress.

MEEEEEEEEEAT!

MEEEEEEEEEAT!

*Sorry babe. I can tell you were some what upset about not hanging out with your friends just to please me. It makes me sad that I feel as selfish as I do. I don’t know. We made a pack tonight that we will work on things and I promise to keep that. But just know I am sorry okay?

So tomorrow gotta be up at 4:15 am to train a client. I will probably stay after my second to do 30 minutes of cardio before I go home. I don’t think I have any more clients till 2 because some of them are going on vacation. That will give me enough time to work out and finish the day around 9. I am leaving Wednesday night after work so getting in as many clients those 3 days as I can. So, I will be extremely tired even more than I normally am. Lucky for me, most of my next few days consist of fishing/ tanning on a boat. Looking forward to it, a little getaway. Hoping to hike this one mountain cliff thing down the street. We always pass it but the last few times we’ve been there to ice fish so obviously I aint doing shit that involves a lot of work outside in the cold. No. thank you. Not for me. Not going to happen. Ice fishing I’m at least sitting in a tent with a heater. I hate the cold. Everything about it :(.

I’ll be taking progress pictures soon (before and after vaca). Way too bloated the last few days so hoping when everything works its way out, I will be happy with what I see. Not saying I’m not. But I will be happy to wake up to my abs again. Working on those suckers too. Normally all I do is planks and I stick with a clean diet. But I want to see them more. Yes get lean but have them defined. Getting stronger though, no doubt. That’s one thing I wanted to talk about but think I should save it for another blog post. It’s in regards to how I want to be viewed by others. Not for the attention, nor would it matter what people had to say because I have heard it all before but it’s something I want people to get out of what I am trying to do.

About a week ago..

About a week ago..

Today 7/1/13

Today 7/1/13

7/1/13

7/1/13

Oh! You would think I should just blab it by now. But I want to put more thought into it unlike I feel like I do with most of these posts. I want this post to be meaningful because its something that gets brought up all the time in my life. How I view myself. A hard question that even right now, I wouldn’t be comfortable answering, but one in which I am working towards each and every day. So stay tuned. Or don’t, whatever ;P

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Friday night and I am updating my blog. Exciting much?!

Feeling like crap today. Had a couple of good work outs the last few days after having 4 days off. I did an upper body work out on thursday (last week) and on saturday morning I felt completely paralyzed. Even the blanket that I was sleeping with felt like concrete. I had to go into work for a few hours and even that wasn’t a good idea. I tried to show a client how to do a shoulder press with a 20lb BB and I could barely lift it. It only got worse after that. I felt like I tore shit up. The only thing I can think of is when I did BW (body weight) pull ups. I am only use to doing assisted pull ups so I figured that I ACTUALLY used my back muscles and they were NOT excited about it. THENNNNN I couldn’t even fully extend my right arm without shooting pain. H thought I pinched a nerve, but its probably my body telling me to back the fuck off for a bit. So I did. Then went back at it as soon as I felt better…. Story of my life. I feel good though outside of .. other issues.. girl issues. But they are hitting me hard. I did 30 minutes on the stair master which seem to subside the pain but as soon as I stepped off of it, pain was even worse. Luckily I only had a few more clients and got to go home and get medicine. Friday night will consist of red box and egg whites.

Why egg whites you may ask? Lmao.. Because I finally decided to track my macros (macronutrients: fats, protein, carbs) and holy shit no wonder I have been stuck at 150lbs. 8pm and I’ve already consumed 1500 calories 175g carbs 50g fat 80g protein. H and I discussed what I should be hitting and the totals were 1700 calories 180g carbs 60g fat 180g protein. So in other words.. I have 200 calories left and need about 5g carbs, 10g fat and 100g protein.. Yeah.. good luck with that. I really didn’t plan anything all I did was track what I would normally eat from day to day… Knowing that, it has truly opened my eyes considering I would probably have 1-2 more meals before I went to bed tonight.. That being said, I really need to start paying attention to what I am eating. I guess I never really cared because I wasn’t gaining weight but now I want to try to start leaning out. I am only doing about 2 sessions of 30 minutes of cardio so yes I could do more. I could also do a little more of high intensity lifting instead of counting calories/carbs ext but I don’t want to lose anything that I have worked for via cardio. I made that mistake my first bikini competition and will not do it again. That and cardio sucks. A lot. I mean.. come on.. unless you’re boxing or doing plyos or something, the treadmill/stair master and I definitely have a love hate relationship going on. I hate it, but love what cardio does for the body (well.. when you are smart about it). My polar heart rate (GOOGLE!! It is one of the best inventions ever) tracks my calories burned via my work outs and its about 4-5000 calories a week. Again, thats practically straight lifting.

So, what does 1500 calories look like? Well, today I had:

Breakfast:
1/2 c grape nuts (straight addicted to them) 200cals

1/2 c milk 60cals
1/2 c watermelon 30cals
4 pieces of turkey bacon 100cals

photo 4

Protein shake:
6oz greek yogurt 100cals
1/2 c blueberries w/ water 84cals

Post Work Out:
1 WW pita bread 200cals
2 TBS peanut butter 210cals

Dinner:
6oz chicken/beef 230cals
1c brown rice 230cals

Snack:
1/2 c cottage cheese 90cals

I also had some egg whites I didn’t account for. So.. clearly over 1500 calories. Unreal. I was probably having at least 2000 calories a day. Granted I probably burned more on those days (Only burned about 300 calories on the stair master today).. but still. That’s A LOT!

Oh man. I am def going to put more thought into what I am doing now that I am getting serious about my training. I am seeing results though and feel like I am getting stronger but that scale is NOT budging. I really could care less.. but its clearly because I am consuming a crap ton of food!

Post eating deep fried mac and cheese, funnel stix and a burger with cheese fries!

Post eating deep fried mac and cheese, funnel stix and a burger with cheese fries!

Nothing too special, but the definition I am seeing in my arms is 100% more than I have ever seen before..

Nothing too special, but the definition I am seeing in my arms is 100% more than I have ever seen before..

Here are a few progress pictures to end this blog because I am getting super tired and want to do a spin class tomorrow morning. If you haven’t tried one, I suggest you do some time. It is a GREAT work out (if you actually put effort into it) and really enhances your endurance quickly. I’ve burned over 1000 calories in a class.. meaning.. I CAN EAT! lol.. I’m jk.. don’t look at it like that, think of food as fuel. Speaking of which..Β  Had a younger girl today puke on me. Not literally.. just via my training session with her. Can you guess why? Because it was 2pm and the only thing she had was a banana. Yep.. a banana. Why on earth would you go without eating then try to train? As you may know, I’ve had my fair share of eating disorders but I don’t think I would work out that intensely. I would just starve. Yes, consuming a small amount of calories is bound to lose weight quickly but it is not healthy. You are at risk of losing muscle and not fat. So why do that when you can eat and look good? Did you read that right? YOU CAN EAT AND STILL LOOK GOOD!!!!! I just wish people listened. I didn’t have anyone telling me that what I was doing was wrong. I just saw the changes (not even good ones, just a change in the scale) and thought why stop now? Anyways, I may not know everything (CLEARLLLLLYYY I don’t) but I know and have common sense and starving.. is not worth it.

You can live a normal life without “dieting”, just eat healthy, and get moving. I can’t stress this enough.

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You know squat? … Exactly.

So .. I suppose with how many people have viewed my instagram account, has the potential to look at my blog (at LEAST once). Knowing that.. super awkward. I don’t know. I guess I always jump around from professional to .. well not so much. This blog is just a story about me and my life and how it affects my training lifestyle (i.e. eating disorders, emotional eating, plain old life situations ext). I know squat should be taken literally.. not figuratively as in my fitness “wannabe” background. I really lose all focus with insecurities present, that I know I look like a fool.

I also think I over analyze every possible situation.

I might possibly step away from the personal training part of my life till I finish school and get my head above water. Though I truly do love what I do, I have to be taken seriously and I can’t give anyone any reason to doubt me. Maybe I’ll explore other options that could possibly just be a foot in the door instead of wasting time away waitressing or cleaning fucking toilets. Although, if it paid more than what I am now.. I highly think I’d consider.

Can’t be forever right?
πŸ™‚

Anyways.. once I think I can manage an actually successful website, this one really isn’t suppose to be taken seriously. I throw in recipes, progress pictures and the word fuck in this blog but in the end the title is what it is in that manor.

On the brighter side, I attempted to squat 205 a couple of times (yes of course with a spot, who I might add, is seriously fantastic)!!!! Notice attempted.. because to be honest.. as much as I work as a personal trainer I need to focus on really getting my act together.. I want to lift heavy, as fuck, for sure but as much as I think I know what I’m doing I don’t fucking do it. Here I am telling my clients to squeeze this, do that but holy fuck it like all disappears from my mind when I train myself… I think I just need to get use to a workout buddy, a spot, simply a trainer training me. But don’t get me wrong, I fucking love it.

Just thought I’d give a clearer idea of what this blog was about. For now, it’s nothing special just random as hell thoughts, pictures and the roller coaster of a ride my life has become..

Anyways, I have to be up soon about 5 hours of sleep to wake up see if a client comes in, sit in sauna, eat take a nap and go back to work. I seriously wish W was as short of a distance that RLB was. I would go home any hour or two I had off.. because well..

I love sleep. πŸ™‚
and eating.

Like my skinny cow ice cream I am about to demolish. Strawberry Shortcake if you wanted to know.

;D

Goodnight xo

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I’m pretty boring, but hey! It’s all good.

Well.. its one thing after another lately.. Seems that life keeps kicking me when all I’m trying to do is stand up!

But I’m trying to fight back. It’s all I can do. Being proactive about the job search and the opportunities that may come my way. Really just trying to find a job where I continue to do what I love, but also get compensated for it, enough to not only pay my bills but to have SOME what of a life.. because I don’t do anything. Not exaggerating.. I work, workout, eat and sleep. Right now though, it’s not that bad. I don’t mind it because I am truly trying to get ahead in life. I don’t care to go out and drink. I’d rather prove to the world that I have a gift that I’m trying to share!

One day right.. one day.

Having a good start to the weekend though.. Went to work and did my thing, bought some groceries:

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The Essentials: Chicken, Eggs, Greek Yogurt, Cottage Cheese, Bananas and Veggie Chips. I also picked up some grapples (apples that taste like grapes), Arctic Zero Ice cream that has only 150 calories for the entire pint and Skinny Cow Snickerdoodle Ice cream Sandwiches. I’ve tried the Strawberry Shortcake and they were fantastic. The Cookies & Dough Bars are crap, so I will see how the SD ones are. Also want to try the Cookies & Cream Sandwiches but they didn’t have them in stock. Probably because SC has been sold for $6.50 and Walmart was selling them for $3.50!!!! MMMM.. remember.. calories in vs calories out (and everything in moderation!)!!

..arrived home and went for a 5+ mile walk with Marley and my mom. It was nice. We spent about 2 hours and afterwards picked up some salads:

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All my mom was doing was talking about pizza, about a mile left of our walk and I was actually contemplating it as well! Haha.. I can always go for some pizza πŸ™‚ But we chose to do salads instead which is always better.. well.. not always because well.. pizza will ALWAYS be better.. just not.. better for you. lol. Besides, going out for sushi later so I can save my carbs for then πŸ˜‰

Speaking of carbs and walking, I have been taking some time off from lifting. Nothing too crazy but after that dead lift I was out of commission (lol). That definitely took A LOT out of me and I wasn’t expecting it. It was nice to lift my heaviest but my body took a toll. I suppose it’s a give/take relationship (: It’s not horrible though.. yes I am fiening (sp?) for the gym but taking time off to fully recover is the right thing to do. Some of my clients think working through the pain all the time, never missing a work out, ext is better.. but (not in all cases) it could be working against you. LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! If you think you should take some time off, TAKE IT! The gym will always be there. Don’t risk injury for calories being burned. You can always stay active without going to the gym and stressing your body to the max. Go out for a BRISK (yes BRISK) walk, jog a little.. do body weight exercises (squats, lunges, wall sits, planks) during commercials. Just get moving and you don’t have to stress about always making time for the gym. Get creative and working out won’t be so horrible.

I do watch my calories (or how much “bad” stuff) I eat when I don’t make it to the gym. Yes if you are working out in a home gym or with weights you’ll burn more calories but if you can’t make it to the gym DON’T STRESS! Just watch what you’re eating. Stick to clean foods so you don’t feel even more guilty about not walking in the doors of a LA Fitness or X Sport… Because once again, it’s about calories in vs calories out. Just be conscious.. not naive. You know what you should do, shouldnt do.. what to eat, what you “shouldn’t” eat.. Just live your life in moderation and the weight won’t pile on when you stop being as active (especially in times of injury/surgery ext. This is when people gain the most weight. When they physically can’t exercise).

Don’t make exercising a chore, nor limit yourself to a “diet” because you don’t need to! Trust me! Just start eating healthy (foods that are GOOD for you!!!!), go for walks/jogs/runs, join a bike club, SOMETHING to get the heart going and you will start getting more and more motivated by how wonderful you feel πŸ™‚

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Monday 29/83 (2/4)

So here is my first progress picture:

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I had another one where my stomach was showing but honestly with how my legs looked, I looked WAY too disproportional. So I decided to go with this one.

Like I’ve mentioned before, I have barely done any cardio (in the fear I’d lose my ass) and still eating quiet a few carbs. While I was in bed last night I was playing around on my calender on my phone and setting a few reminders. Adding an hour of cardio in about 2 weeks (currently doing 30 minutes of cardio after my life session), taking out fruit 4 weeks out and so forth.

I have been creeping a couple peoples pictures on instagram and have been actually getting quite nervous. I feel like I am not going to be ready. I shouldn’t even think this because I still have 7 weeks left to go. I just get nervous sometimes. I barely have my abs and my arms are always slacking. The only thing I feel good about is my legs. I do know that once I start taking out a little bit of carbs and my fruit and up cardio that I should start seeing more results, but the clock is ticking!

Either way, I will be happy with my body because it is TEN times better than it was before I started. I just need to keep up the momentum even after I compete. I really don’t see a problem with it either. New things are arising so getting into the gym everyday will NOT be a problem.Β  Not only that but I honestly haven’t binged once. UGH! I keep wanting to blog about cheating and bingeing and just haven’t gotten around to it. I just think its really important to know that you can have whatever you want as long as it is in moderation. I always feel like shit after I binge and feel so guilty that it turns into a vicious cycle.

Not this time.

I can honestly say I feel so much better regarding my relationship with food. I have found the joy in treating my body to the food that it deserves, not the bullshit cravings I create in my head. Yes it is nice to splurge and eat moms homemade apple crisp (last night..oops!), but one serving was enough to satisfy myself with. Yes, I could of ate the whole pan. Yes, I could of felt guilty and consumed a thousand more calories just because. But I no longer want to. I want to live my life and love the body I was given. I am taking all of this time and putting it into the gym that I actually feel guilty when I “snack”. Now this isn’t right either but you have to understand I am trying to compete here in a few weeks. Anyone just living the healthy lifestyle should not feel guilty because of one or two hershey kisses!

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Saturday 27/83 (2/2)

Haven’t posted much because nothing much is new.

Still working at my shitty job. Practically paying to work there. Things are in the works and I pray to God for every door that he has opened for me recently.

The boy and I are doing good. Rolling with the punches I would say. Mostly because I am still insecure as FUCK but working on it everyday. Luckily he is a great man and just as most guys would say, putting up with it. I have been bitching at him lately because of his drinking. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal but needs to know that not only am I not about that “life” but I also come from an alcoholic background. He isn’t binge drinking like lets say, some of his friends are but I also have never been with someone who casually drinks as much as he does. I just want him to be careful, that’s all. That and well…. I don’t trust many people’s decisions when they are under the influence and I will leave it at that.
In regards to training, I am still going strong. I just started to add cardio in my schedule because I hit the 8 week mark just yesterday. I am gettingΒ  a bit nervous but have to realize that its a solid 2 months away. A lot can be done in that amount of time. I just have to use it wisely. About 3 or 4 days ago, I did deadlifts for the first time in a while. About 2 days after that workout I was so sore. The next day, even worse. Now, don’t get me wrong I KNOW how being soreΒ  but this felt like I was tearing things whenever I bent down. It was BAD. Now, I am all better and still going as hard as I can.

My diet has still consisted of brown rice, oatmeal, whole wheat pastas and the occasional fiber tortilla (I use for morning wraps of eggs and ground turkey). Eggs, ground turkey, chicken and protein powders. I also still have some fruit in my diet. I won’t take anything out just yet, but relying on the added cardio to lose a little bit of weight. I want to “preserve” any muscle I have for the time being.

In about 2-3 weeks, I will add more cardio and take out fruits and possibly lower the amount of carbs I am currently eating. I just hope I can keep my ass. It really is THAT important.

Everything else in my life, seems to be looking up. I haven’t binged like I have in past contest preps which I find is extremely amazing. I think it’s because if I want something, I have it. It’s as simple as that. Thinking of writing a blog post about cheat meals. I truly think its important to live a little, especially when you are not dieting for a show.

Hope all is well.

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