Tag Archives: Exercise

Oh, a day in a life of a Personal Trainer!

So I figured out a new way to make my blog semi more interesting. Living the life of a personal trainer could get hectic to say the least and I think writing about what I go through day-to-day could be beneficial to some knowing how busy I am through the day, yet how I make time to eat and get my work outs in. Yes, working at a gym makes it a tad bit easier but trust me, excuses over power the convenience of working in a gym.

I sleep in my car. I eat in my car. I get IT (what it is) done because it HAS to be done if I want the results I so badly desire.

So here we go.

Today is Wednesday. A day where I wake up at 4am. Yay. However, I knew that it would be a crazy day so I prepared my food last night. That gave me an extra 15 minutes in bed, and trust me I enjoyed every last second.

photo 1

4:15am Wake up
4:30am In car driving, eating a Quest Bar (170c 24g carb 17g fiber 20g protein mmmmm).
5-7am Worked with a few clients
I had a cancellation from 6-630am so I took a power nap in the yoga room
7-930am I slept in my car. Sweating. It was over 80* out and I woke up to drool falling from my mouth. 1 banana was ate (105c 27g carb 1g protein).
930-1030am More clients. Met a new one. Always interesting.

Was going to work out around 11am. Thinking I needed a rest day because my entire body hurts but figured why not. However, I felt sick. I had no idea what was going on so I went home. (These posts will become more interesting once I start posting my actual work outs and progress pictures).

1130am Arrived home and ate a ‘flat-out’ wrap (90 calories 16g carb 9g fiber 9g protein) with chicken (276c 0g carb 52g protein), and greek yogurt (100c 7g carb 18g protein).

photo 2
12pm Took Marley to the forest preserve but by the time she got out of the car she was already panting and not having it. So, I did a few body weight tricep dips/squats/push ups and sprints then we headed back.

photo 3

Stopped at McDonald’s and got Marley a hamburger then finished my greek yogurt and rest of the chicken. Took another 15 min and did some jumping jacks/burpees and more squats.
Burned a total of 288 calories.

1:30-245pm Just chilled with Marley. Ate a piece of pita bread (210c 43g carb 3g fiber 8g protein) with 1 TBS all natural PB (100c 6g carb 1g fiber 4g protein).

My cuddle buddy..

My cuddle buddy..

3:30-6pm More clients. Really love them all. Between my 5:30 and 6:00 client I ate another yogurt.
6:30pm Did 10 minutes on the stairmaster and another 15 minutes on the treadmill with a client.
Burned 137 calories (yippie).

7:30pm
left for home. Stopped for gas, ate 20 almonds (139c 5g carb 5g protein), and picked up a cup of chili at my favorite restaurant (360c 16g carb 20g protein).
8pm Here we are 🙂

Going to have one more meal (but by the looks of my totals, I should have more than 1 meal lol). Most likely egg whites a little cottage cheese and broccoli. Going to chill out for the rest of night. I’ve been getting super overwhelmed lately so sleep has been my best friend. Tomorrow I get to sleep in a bit. Nothing like turning off your 3:45am alarms..

Total Macros for the day:
1,695 calories 86g carbs 125g protein.

Total Calories burned for the day:
425 calories (Weak sauce. Fail).

Definitely not what I should be eating. I am about 600 calories 100c carbs and 60g protein short for the day. I am going to continue to eat how I have been eating and starting Monday I will prepare the needed macros for the day. I will see how things go. Personally I think 2200 calories is too much but I am going to listen to what I am told and just do it. Most days I burn over 1000 calories via work outs so it’s possible that 2200 calories is needed but I am so impatient I just want to start getting lean! Patience Marissa, patience.

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Contest Winners (:

..so there was actually a big miscommunication and since that, I am announcing 5 winners. The winners are listed below however, a good majority of the people leaving responses didn’t leave a full name so I am just copying and pasting what they put. If there is a problem or a question, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment.

  1. Francesca Rodriquez.

  2. Shauna (Obstacle Course).

  3. Blessedwiththunderthighs.

  4. April (16oz of Water Challenge).

  5. Brittany (greenbean).

In order to receive the Heart Rate Monitor, the 5 people listed above need to do 3 things.. Must be following my blog (most important obviously), once that is done, all 5 winners must leave a comment with their city and state. Once all winners follow the above steps I will reply with the email address needed (for slimkicker.com), shipping address will then be taken and prize will be awarded (:

Thank you to everyone who participated and I hope I am blessed with more opportunities to share with my followers, and again thank you to slimkicker.com!

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**** yeah.

So I know it’s only Wednesday but I am already excited for the weekend.. Regardless I still have a few days to go, so I suppose I should enjoy now, well.. right now!
 
Well first things first.. Yesterday was officially my first day back (in the gym) in 5 days! It didn’t go as planned but I still felt exhausted after it. People kept staring and my clothes were too tight.. and it was fucking hot.. and I was only getting hotter lol.. So I ended up just doing 3 or 4 shoulder exercises. Went as heavy as I could though.. So that is always a plus. I do want to mention to  jlgentry that I did a mile in just under 14 minutes (granted the first 2 minutes I walked).. but I started getting bad cramps .85 of a mile in lol.. At that point I knew I wasn’t going to handle going for much longer.. but a mile was SO CLOSE!! So I kept going.. Had too ..Pain is temporary –> failure is forever –> failure only occurs when you give up  = Don’t give up.… Right?
 
..any who.. I finished and walked on an incline for the remainder of the time. BUT I DID IT!! haha.. Yeah I could of probably kept going but I was trying to focus on anything but these damn cramps. My right calf started first, which I could handle.. but the stomach cramps are the worst.
 
Besides the gym, I have been doing really good with my eating. However like I mentioned in an earlier post that I am allowing myself whatever I want. I know the consequence.. and if I want it that badly, ill deal with it later. But for right now… it is working PERFECTLY! I am even starting to see my top two abs again (FUCKYEAHWHATUP!) and again, haven’t been to the gym in a week 🙂 So… with that being said I had 2 chocolate chip cookies last night. Lmfao. I was only going to have one but my mom randomly barged in my room and brought 3 more in for dude and I.. (awkward).. but I ate another one but left one (yes.. you read that right.. I LEFT A FUCKING COOKIE UNEATEN! Unfuckingreal. lol). I didn’t really think twice like I normally would. I remember years ago when I was working at  X Sport Fitness.. My mom had made cookies and I ate one.. or two probably.. okay 3 or 4 knowing me.. and immediately I went to the gym to burn it off. Fuck that. Never again do I want to be like that. Talk about hating yourself and I was fucking ruthless.
 
So I wanted to find a healthy PB cookie recipe.. and while I’ve been excited about the weekend and getting back into cooking and baking and shit, I saw on CCK’s blog a recipe for skinny vanilla cupcakes. They looked so cute unfrosted.. see:
 
 
Skinny Vanilla Cupcakes

(makes 9-10 cupcakes)

Or click if you’d prefer: Chocolate Cupcakes.

  • 1 cup spelt flour, or white flour, or Arrowhead Mills gf mix (145g)
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 2 tsp ener g powder (or 1 flax or chia egg)
  • 4 tbsp xylitol or sugar (54g)
  • 2 Nunatural stevia packets (or 2 extra tbsp sugar)
  • 1 tbsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 cup plain or vanilla yogurt of choice (Silk or SoDelicious both work) (230g)
  • 1/4 cup milk of choice (subtract 2 tbsp if using the flax or chia egg) (60g)
  • 3 tbsp coconut or veg oil (can omit, but the cupcakes will be a bit gummy) (36g)

Preheat oven to 350 F, and grease muffin tins. Combine all dry ingredients in a bowl, and mix very well. In a separate bowl, combine all wet ingredients and stir. Pour wet into dry, and mix until just combined (don’t overmix). Cook 18-20 minutes, then let sit at least 10 before removing from muffin tins.

Okayyyy so they still look fanfuckingtastic.. but what about with Reese’s Frosting from CCK?
 
Reese’s Pieces Frosting
 

(Yields almost 1/2 cup)

  • 1/4 cup peanut butter (or other nut butter)
  • 4-8 tsp pure maple syrup (click for a sugar-free alternative)
  • 2 tbsp cocoa powder
  • 4 tsp milk of choice (or more for thinner frosting)
  • 3/4 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • optional: handful of chocolate chips (the “pieces”)

Blend everything (including chips, if using) in a small food processor or Magic Bullet. If you have a bigger processor, it might be best to double the recipe so everything blends more smoothly. Best to store uneaten frosting covered in the fridge.

Or what about making my own cool whip.. Hey have I ever mentioned this before? Leave a open can of full fat coconut milk in the refrigerator overnight.. scoop the clear liquid off the top.. add vanilla.. coconut shreds (if you wish) and stevia..blend.. and there you have whipped cream!!!
 
Now do you see why I am so excited?
 
Oh.. another reason I am excited.. I AM NOW A SPONSORED ATHLETE FOR A NUTRITION COMPANY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Hell yeah.  Will go into further detail a bit later..
 
Life is going and I’m going with it..with a huge (mother) fucking smile on my face.
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8 Truths about Exercise.

Every now and again I actually read my “junk” email. I usually get anywhere from 50-100 emails a day regarding training or something pertaining to health. Most of them I would consider more spam then good reads but SparkPeople really has never let me down. Granted I don’t read ALL of them but when I do, it’s always something interesting and something to think about. So this post I am completely “plagiarizing” and just copy and pasting the entire article. It’s 8 truths about exercise and each one I COMPLETELY agree with, as much as we all don’t want to. Enjoy.

Working out will always feel hard.
Exercise is work. It elevates your heart rate, makes you somewhat breathless, and causes your muscles to burn. It’s tiring—sometimes exhausting. Yes, exercise does get easier with time, but it will never be “easy.” If it were easy, it wouldn’t be exercise. You see, beyond just getting your body moving (which is great but will only get you so far), exercise has to challenge you. You have to work past your comfort zone in order to train your heart, lungs, and muscles to get stronger and fitter. Over time, yes it will become easier to walk at the 3 mph pace you started, but once that becomes easy, it’s time to walk faster, which brings me to another cold, hard truth: You have to work harder as you get fitter. Think of it exercise as a challenge to continuously improve on what you just accomplished.

Not every movement or activity counts as exercise.
Let me preface this one by saying that any body movement is good for you. Whether you’re fidgeting at your desk, walking across the office to talk to a co-worker, taking a single flight of stairs instead of the elevator, or playing Wii tennis—all movement is good, especially when you’re just starting out. But here’s the real truth: Not all movement is “exercise.” The two are very, very different. For any activity to count as true exercise, it has to meet certain parameters, like lasting at least 10 continuous minutes (so those stairs you took or that walk from your car to the store doesn’t count as a workout), it has to elevate your heart rate to an aerobic level (that “hard” feeling I mentioned above), and more. If you count all of these “activities” or body movements you do each day as workouts, then you are only shortchanging yourself—and you could be hurting your weight loss efforts.

One workout may not undo a sedentary lifestyle.
Working out really matters for your health and longevity, but more research these days is telling us that simply exercising—whether 10, 30, or even 60+ minutes a day—may not be enough to offset the effects of an otherwise sedentary lifestyle. Just because you exercise doesn’t mean it’s OK to be a couch potato the other 23 hours of the day. Sitting, driving, working from a computer, sleeping—all of these “inactivities” make up the bulk of many people’s days, and the longer you sit still, the worse the effects can be on your health. I talked a little about “activity” vs. exercise above. This is where those extra non-workout activities DO matter. They may not be true workouts, but they do have benefits. More movement is good—and that is how you achieve the benefits of an active lifestyle.

You’re not burning as many calories as you think.
“Burn up to 800 calories an hour!” How often do you see phrases like that advertised on workout DVDs, group classes, and other fitness products? The truth is, most of these numbers are seriously inflated, and the average person won’t burn a fraction of that claim. This is the case for treadmills, stationary bikes and other cardio machines, too. Those “calorie burn” screens can be off by 30% or more. SparkPeople tries to be a little more conservative with the numbers we use on our Fitness Tracker, but just remember that calculators/trackers are estimates. When it comes to weight loss, you’re better off with a conservative approach to calorie burn. Assume you’re actually burning fewer calories than a tracker or machine says you are. A better way to gauge what you’re really burning is by wearing your own heart rate monitor. While a general fitness tracker would tell me that an hour of Spinning burned some 600+ calories, my HRM (using my gender, weight, and actual heart rate during the workout) showed closer to 400. That’s a big difference that could really affect one’s weight loss.

It won’t allow you to eat whatever you want.
A walk around the block doesn’t earn you a brownie. That yoga class doesn’t mean it’s OK to indulge in an ice cream sundae this weekend. How often do you “reward” yourself for working out by undoing most of your efforts with one or more dietary splurges? Remember, exercise really doesn’t burn as many calories as people assume it does, so a single workout—even a rigorous one—won’t come close to offsetting just ONE big splurge. Yet I know many people who justify their food choices by saying “I worked out today.” If weight loss is your goal, you have to keep these splurges in check; otherwise, you’ll be fighting a losing battle and never really get ahead in the calorie equation.

Exercise alone won’t change your body.
This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions I see. Most people believe that simply by exercising more, harder, or with some “magical” combination (think “muscle confusion”), they’ll get rock hard abs, chiseled arms, and toned legs. WRONG. Exercise will not change your body much at all unless you are also cutting calories. To really change your physique, you have to do both: watch your diet, consumer fewer calories than you burn, and exercise with a combination of cardio and strength training. Same goes for dieting. Cutting calories will result in some weight loss, but your body will not necessarily look more cut or toned if exercise isn’t also part of your plan.

You have to do it forever.
A lot of people don’t like to exercise, but they manage to stick with it in order to lose weight. Once they reach that goal, it becomes easier to slack off and then lose the habit entirely. But whether your goal is to lose weight, look better, improve your health, or just plain feel good, you’re only going to reach—and maintain—that result by continuing to exercise after you reach that goal. The benefits of exercise are quickly lost, too. You actually lose your strength and endurance far faster than it took to build up (unfair, right?). You can lose muscle strength in just a couple weeks off from pumping iron, and cardiovascular endurance? It starts diminishing when you rest just 2 days! This is why it’s important to find a routine that you enjoy and can stick with for the long haul.

Routine is the exercise enemy.
I love routine as much as the next person, but the gym is not the place for it. For the best results, you have to change up your workouts often. This is good because it can help prevent boredom so you’ll stick with it, but also prevent plateaus in your progress. For creatures of habit, or exercisers who lack creativity, it can be a real challenge. There are tons of ways you can mix up your workouts without becoming a gym rat or earning a personal training certification. The important thing is that you do it. Don’t let your workouts become stale, and don’t let your muscles get too conditioned to doing the same old thing for months on end. That’s why lifelong exercisers are always reaching for new goals and trying new things. Not only is it fun, but it challenges their bodies in new ways so they always stay fit—and have fun doing it.

“One workout may not undo a sedentary lifestyle. – Is probably my favorite truth. Did you read that right? My favorite T R U T H. && I am SUPER guilty of this. This is where my patience does NOT exist, but please everyone who is reading this and is struggling, understand that it will take TIME to see changes. The best way I can try and help is to advise you to track your progress. I hated taking pictures because I hated looking at myself, but measuring also works pretty well. I am not a firm believer in the scale because it doesn’t tell you what is muscle what is fat, and muscle weighs more than fat (FYI).. I also will google this picture I saw, where the girl was thinner but weighed more. Hmm.. give me a second.
 
 
 
 
Okay so this isn’t the picture but you get what I am saying. If she didn’t take pictures and only saw the scale change (and saw she was HEAVIER), fuck I’d shit a brick. But this is what I mean. I use to be obsessed with the scale and that did nothing for me. I hope everyone truly reads through these truths and understand you have to WANT to change your lifestyle.. not just eating a salad once a week and thinking life’s unfair.
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Positivity

So the whole not blogging every day has actually made me miss posting *smh..

..sometimes less IS more.

😉

So what’s clouding Marissa’s brain lately?

I am starting to appreciate things more.

Understanding that tomorrow is NOT promised.

So why do we do the things we do? Don’t people get it? Let’s just take money for example.. it can buy anything your little heart desires except one thing…time. You’re gone when its your time.

Plain and simple.

Don’t take advantage of today. We all have the ability to be completely happy.and I truly feel we have no one to blame but ourselves.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”- Robert Anthony.

Start rethinking what you may think are “priorities”, stop fearing the inevitable and live.

Other then my lovely rants.. I am feeling pretty good. Eating has been so easy ever since I put my carbs and fruits back in the mix. I can feel myself growing already and I am s t o k e d.

The Food Log

830am Brownie Quest Bar
11am 1/2 P28 Bagel and Almond Butter
2pm Leftovers of WW pasta and Ground Turkey
5pm 3 small chicken breasts (almonds if still hungry)
830pm (don’t know if I am working out today).. so this would change but protein and fat
Last meal– Casein protein shake (slower digesting protein)

The Work Out

Probably not working out today (but you never know).. But I will list my workout from yesterday.

I trained glutes 😉

Sumo Squats
3x15x35
2x12x45

Back Ext
4x10x45 w/ calf raises

Abs (I have to discuss this at a later date lol)..

Hamstring Curl

Only 3 sets- forget the weight.. but it didn’t feel good lol.

I have been killing it in the gym.. literally walked out earlier this week not being able to walk (I split legs into 2 sessions so I train them twice a week).. I have just been focusing on form and contractions rather then reps (even though I still count most of them).. but I have been feeling really good. Have laid off cardio a bit (wont hold my breathe) so that makes it easier to kill it even more 😉

Will be in Wisconsin tomorrow night till Monday afternoon.. so that means so time in an actual gym..  Meaning hopefully we go for a lot of walks and canoeing and just stay active. I know my diet will be on point ( I actually get excited about traveling and eating healthy).. but I know one day I WILL drink lol and maybe enjoy some extra carbs here and there :):):)

Heading over to a small shop to pick up a few tank tops and a pair of shorts to wear on the boat, then stopping at sunset to pick up meat (and my healthy food to bring on the way up there).. Def hope I score some of those Sugar Free Chocolate Chip Cookies again.. Those were solid and I wouldn’t even need to “cheat” haha if I had those.. We’ll see. I am so E X C I T E D! It’ll be like a mini vaca! I’ll still be emailing and responding though (as much as I can.. up there doesn’t have much service).. but I will do my best.

Until then, practicing patience and positivity. ❤

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If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.

Agenda for Monday:

9-5pm Work
530pm Back Work out with Taylor @ X Sport in A.H
7pm Yoga

Marley’s Agenda for Monday..

Me leaving the house today.. I forgot my lunch box and gym bag in the car.

The Food Log

830am Quest Bar (Vanilla Almond)
1130am Greek Yogurt
2pm Chicken with Mixed Veggies
530pm Chicken with Broccoli
8pm Almond Butter on P28 Bread
11pm Don’t know yet.

The Work Out:

BACK ATTACK!

Focusing on:

Lat Pull down
Pullups
and Rows

LIFTING AS HEAVY AS POSSIBLE WITHOUT LOSING FORM!

PLUS +

60 Min of YOGA.. yep. Yoga.. wtf am I gonna do? Taylor is like a super star and my dog can do a better downward dog then I can.. Not to mention my legs are so fucking sore still that I look like I have a huge load in my pants. HA… this should be fun. OH and this is my past employer lol (I worked here for 4 years).. so that should add to the interesting part.

Goals for the next 4 weeks:

  • Have a cheat (or 2) on the weekends ONLY!
  • Gym session 6 days a week for 45-60 minutes of weight resistance training.
  • Focus on growth not weight loss.

Don’t know how that last bullet will effect me. I really would LOVE to see my abs 24/7 but I also want defined arms and HUGE ass legs (not to mention, keeping my huge ass…ass). Pretty much meaning that I am going to lay off cardio a bit. I think I will do it if I feel like it (which is usually never, but hey!), but I won’t beat myself up over it. I will however, eat clean as shit. I want to see what my body is capable of. I want to stop with the excuses and stop with the dumb ass binges that happen every now and again. I think that since I am allowed back my fruits that it will subside any sugar cravings I may have. I honestly feel like that part of my life is gone. Yes I have consumed A LOT of food in the last week that wasn’t in any way shape or form good for me but I enjoyed it. I enjoyed every last bite. Yes I felt like shit afterwards and about 3 days after but I enjoyed it because I LET MYSELF! I need to learn to love myself regardless of a bloated belly or a significant muffin top. My weight doesn’t define me and as much as I am obsessed with fitness and health, I will never stray down the broken road of disordered eating again. I will never throw up or starve myself EVER again. EVER. Yes people call me obsessed and a fitness freak blahblahblah.. but they don’t know the battle I fought to get where I am. This is MY body, MY life and I will not stop the journey I am on, till I can HONESTLY say that I love myself with everything I have. Now please don’t take this like I want to be perfect, or I am striving for any of that sort, because that wouldn’t be fair. I want to accept myself as I better myself. I am doing this for me.

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Post Competition: First Day Back!

Oh wow.

Probably should of rethought my first workout and possibly of done something else rather then legs lol. I have been stoked to get back in the gym and sometimes doing legs actually frustrates me. I don’t know what it is but whenever I go super heavy (which is all the time btw) I psych myself out. I really do need to find a spotter or someone to work out with that likes to go HAM! because I am kinda over the whole training people while I work out…. I want a KICK ASS workout 365! Hmmmmm I may possibly look into getting a personal trainer for myself, maybe once a week, just to rev things up.. kick my ass.. ext ext…. It gets expensive but having someone there and pushing you I feel is usually 75% better then being alone. That, and you get some extra knowledge! Personal training is something that requires a lot of information to be studied and I think it possibly will always be continuous. Meaning, since everyones body is different and we experience a lot of daily habits and we are now prone to numerous different types of dieases, that we will always need to continue our education in this field to stay up to par. Personal training isn’t just looking good and copying and pasting each work out for each individual client…. It is more then that (and quite frankly if your trainer doesn’t tailor your work outs, dump em.. no joke).

Ok I have no idea why I just rambled on about that.. which I think was actually about nothing. Cool.

Anywho.

The Food Log:

9am Green Smoothie that tasted like complete dick. I threw in a piece of pineapple and 1/4 of a banana (banana masks ANY taste), and a scoop of strawberry banana whey (didn’t have vanilla), and it still tasted like ass. I think I put too much “green superfood” in……….. but it was disgusting.

12pm 6oz Steak w/ 2oz Whole Wheat pasta with a slice of watermelon and 2/3 grapefruit 🙂

3pm Greek Yogurt

730pm Chicken and Veggies

9-2am– 4 cheese stix and 4 drinks. lol. fuck.

The Work Out:

Hack Squat 3x 90lbs
2x 110lbs

Calf Raises supersetted with Wall Sits

3x 50lbs w/ 30 sec wall sit

Front Squat

3x 10x 50

Planks- Completely half assed them.

Leg Ext

1 x 10 x 80lbs
1 x 10 x 95lbs
2 x 8-10 x 110lbs

Yeah I could NOT walk…. I can only imagine what I looked like.. lol. Today I am just hanging around. Life is started to get back to normal and I am super excited for my adventures in the gym in the next couple of months. I have a feeling I will be in the best shape of my life 🙂 Will start carb cycling after my birthday and actually pretty excited about that too haha! Everything else is kind of whatever. I am trying to get organized and all that shit, however my sister came home from college for a month and completely destroyed my room. I don’t have a place to put my shoes in my closet and for some reason finding a lot of clothes I never wore in the hamper… hmm.. Other then that, just taking life one day at a time. I put on some weight which I am learning to accept each day, but I know in the back of my head that in about a month I will be right back to where I was, and on a better road to being ripped. I will get there. Mark my word.

On to progress pics.. Should I do an entire blog, soley on the pictures or….. hmmmm.. lets see how much room it takes.. I’ll begin to upload the pics… lol… gotta love my procrastinating ass!

Okay I just posted all my progress pictures. You wanna see what I ate for this entire week????? Watch this shit..

Chocolate Dipped Cookie Dough

Buffalo Wild Wings

Driving to meet up for ice-cream.

Patiently waiting…….

COLDSTONE!!!!!!

Oreo filling flavored icecream, with oreos and PB cups ❤

Craving subway? Had 3 cookies too btw.. eat fresh bitches!

Shots @ Tommy’s for a going away party..

Taco Burrito King!!!!

Me all gay like.

Red Mango- Frozen Yogurt with oreo, brownie, and strawberries!

ONE MORE WOD! Check em out! Thanks for the shizzzz ❤

…coldstone……again.. lol same thing but with 2 oreos, a pb cup and a brownie lol.

&& this is what I look like because of this week long food-cation:

Sorry it was a screenshot via Instagram

 

So. As you can see I put on a little big of weight. For the next 4 weeks I will be having one or two cheat meals a week and continue to lift as heavy as I can. It will take me a solid 3 weeks to get back to how I was and I am perfectly ok with that! I have had SO much fun this last week, that the extra weight really doesn’t bother me. However I do continusouly feel like shit when I eat shit (coincidence? I think not). I am so ready for this.

oh btw..

maristheshit @ instagram 😉

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My Burden is Easing.

She won’t make a sound
Alone in this fight with herself and the fears whispering if she stands she’ll fall down
She wants to be found
The only way out is through everything she’s running from wants to give up and lie down.
So stand in the rain
Stand your ground

This is my brand new day starting now
I let go the things that weigh me down
And rob me of the beauty that’s to be found
And life all around
And this is my prayer without ceasing, the negative releasing
And as I rise above, my burden is easing

I am almost ready to get back in the gym again. I am stocking up on all my lovely products (Quest Bar, Myofusion, and Dymatize Protein Powders..Still have to get Nuts n’ more and PB2). It is super nice not worrying about morning cardio or your meals every 2 or 3 hours on the hour.. (yes I will continue to eating hourly but these last few days Ive just focused on when I am hungry.. which hasn’t been often because I feel like I am permanently bloated from the last few days of cheats haha)..
  1. Progress Pictures WILL be up shortly.. I just wanted to find a cool way of doing it but that was a fail and now I am just using an excuse to validate my procrastination.
  2. Recipes/ Workouts/ Food Log will be posted like prior format Monday (21st).
  3. I want my pinterest account shown on my homepage.. possible?
How do I feel? I feel fat. I have eaten whatever I wanted for the last 3 and 1/2 days and I just feel it weighing me down. I have taken this week and actually have been really enjoying myself. I have 3 months till my birthday and I want to look PROUD. Yes, proud. It took 3 months for me to get where I am now and I just know that the next 3 months in the gym are going to be SICK.. haha.. I don’t think you understand how excited I am for life to be in the happy lane.. .lol. I am a dork (I actually hate this word.. and I seem to get called it a lot….. not to mention a dork is a whale’s penis but its like so.. innocent.. not innocent but geeky? lol).. whatever.. but in all honestly I am ready to live life happy is all I meant by that weird ass sentence..
But yes this week I have been super relaxed and completely stress free. Yes I still obsess about the fact that I now “jiggle” lmfao.. but I am embracing it. Everyone knows what I’ve been through and have been SUPER cool about everything and by everything I mean about me binging.. IN PUBLIC!! hahahahaha no joke. This is super unhealthy by the way, but I was literally forcing food in me. Not even just unhealthy but rather disgusting lol. But its been fun (and super uncomfortable). I have been to some really cool places and have had a smile on my face since this past weekend. It’s lovely 🙂
BUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT all this food and every last minute of the sugar high and prego bloat is NOT worth looking in the mirror and LOVING what you see when you stand there naked. No joke. It may or may not mean a lot to you guys, and that’s most likely because you have never actually been completely satisfied, but it changes things. (Not to forget that busting ass in the gym is rewarding yes, but most of the time it SUCKS and it’s PAINFUL and it takes what seems like a really fucking LONG TIME to show sings of progress!!!) The confidence and security you gain is magical. I have been fighting for YEARS, and I can’t say I won or found some cure but I found happiness. There are still so many aspects of my life I want to change but loving myself was first.
&& Thank you everyone for the sweet sweettttt comments.  I get super cheesy and emotional ALL the time, but I’ll say it again.. I appreciate everyone who takes their time to read what I blatantly don’t proofread or filter out and still find a positive message within.. and comment with a compliment. I smile so much when I see my email filled with people who found some sort of peace when reading my rants. I really do want to extend my hand and offer anyone help in anyway that I possibly can.. please feel free to email me at anytime:

eyesquat@gmail.com

We’ll all get there one day. Faith my friends.
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Day 93- 3 days left..

Wednesday, May 9th…

Woke up fat. No joke.

NO idea where my abs went. Possibly the more carbs I had yesterday due to a leg workout? UGH.

so guess what I did, I googled that shit.

Found the same shit I already knew, drink more water, sweat ext ext.. Did see something about preparation- H.. so I got it. Lmao. I am so bad. Do not follow what I do just yet.. the point of the cream is to apply it prior or cardio so it secretes the fluid out of that area…… *CROSSES FINGERS* *PRAYS* *BLOWS OUT A CANDLE* pleassssssssseeeeeeeeeee work..

I’ve had enough. 3 days. I can do this.

All I want is to finish this contest prep.. EAT like crap for 24 hours, then get back to my normal lifestyle. I want to eat fruit without guilt. I want to EAT TO GROW AND I WANT IT NOW!!!!!! I know I’ll lose my abs for a few days but I don’t care. You should see me at the gym late at night.. I am practically SLEEPING!!! I am trying so hard, then I beat myself up over the fact that it was possibly a shitty fucking workout. I need balance in my life. Balance and forgiveness, especially for oneself.

Alright so yesterday after my never ending work day I headed over to Taylor’s Salon after I walked Marley and ate really quick.. (@La Flavia Salon in IL).. I waited around for a bit, for her to finish with her last client then I was next! She ended up cutting about 4 inches off.. dry cut and everything. It. Looks. Awesome. Anyways after we were chit chatting.. she thought she was going to dye it as well.. well obviously a miscommunication.. haha.. so I am going back tomorrow (Thursday) for her to dye it and style it (just so I know what it looks like and if I want it up or down).. so yes.. any who.. after the haircut we went back to her house and she got ready and we hit the gym.

It was leg day.. the last leg day of this contest prep.  yep. and let me tell you I, my “rest” breaks were me shutting my eyes and trying to sleep. It was awful. The only bright side of this story is I lifted my heaviest.. weird? haha.. no joke.

Blah blah blah got home at 1130pm and passed the fuck out.

I did book the hotel, so that’s another thing off my list of things to do. Now its just a waiting game really lol. Playing around with my poses and how my “abs” look in certain poses.. I am def ready to get all pampered though. Taylor is going to do an amazing job I already know.. now if my body was up to par…..

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Don’t worry.. I’ll be confident up there because you really don’t have any other choice lmfao.. but deep down I could of done better. I just have to remind myself that I didn’t do this with the intention of trying to out beat every girl.. this was a personal goal.  Really just a set date that I needed to lose that god awful weight in and I think I at least accomplished that. Again.. just WAIT for the before and after pics.. I at least lost 25 SOLID POUNDS OF FAT. Ugh I was disgusting.

Alright that was my little update for you and again I apologize for the lack material in my blogs.. I PROMISEEEEE as soon as I get SOME energy I will put A LOT of effort into making this blog something special. I LOVE receiving the comments/feed back from you guys. It ALWAYS puts me in a better mood/ a smile on my face. So I thank you.

now, to leave you with a photo that have made my jaw drop today..

..talk about  motivation.

Now go work out! 😉

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Day 92 – Tuesday 5/8 (Last week).

So it is Tuesday, May 8..

“When we long for life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow strong in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure.” -Peter Marshal

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH oddly the days aren’t flying by like I imagined. It seems like everything has been working out in the smallest ways, therefore making life a LITTLE less stressful.  Granted I just finished a 3 hour exam and have been getting up religiously for morning cardio. The only thing I would say that I am stressing about is losing my ass even more then I have, and getting my period (TMI but I kinda feel it coming. Oh but a little FYI this happened last show too haha).. The only thing that sucks about that is bloating.. and holding water.. this = DISASTER..

 

 

Any who.. at this point, it is what it is. My favorite quote, and something I say almost daily to myself. Its a reminder that we cannot change somethings and I do believe that everything happens for a reason (STRONG believer in this).  I am just going to take this as another thing to check off that I accomplished, something that I trained for for months, something I worked damn hard at (and sometimes not so much HAHA)..  This has been a learning experience for me. As most of you may already know I have struggled with body image for quite some time now. I use to follow what everyone else was doing, and doing shit to my body that I would be ashamed of now. I did whatever I could to look good outside, so I could feel good inside. Little did I know, that was the entire battle. A pointless one. One I wouldn’t win unless I stopped fighting AGAINST the one person I was trying to love all along, myself.  I have eaten next to nothing for days, I have also binged more then one would admit too, I have taken numerous amounts of diet pills, yes I have done a lot in the 23 years I have been living. But growing up hating yourself is a full time job and I am sick of it. It makes me feel uncomfortable, ugly, useless, worthless, and then I turn mean. More so because I am sad inside, but because I am upset with myself. I feel like I failed. How can food be controlling my every move?

Because I allowed it.

No more guys. I sit here with my belly rumbling and 1/2 gallon water sitting next to me. These are different conditions. I am on the last week of my 3 month training regimen, about to walk the stage in 6 inch heels and a bikini in front of hundreds of people, and 4 judges about to critique MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

No this isn’t for everyone. Trust me.

It is more mentally challenging then it is physically. The first one I trained for I was shocked. The changes your body goes through and how your brain tries to follow along just gets demanding and you’re left confused. You have to have a happy place and I hope that happy place isn’t balls deep in a bag of Doritos. I don’t believe this was a good decision (regarding competing) in each of my situations only because I wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t ready mentally or emotionally but I did it because in my mind I needed a “goal”. I needed a time limit so I couldn’t make excuses (how’d that work out for me..). But now after this (which surprisingly I have the best attitude towards it then I ever have), I feel so much stronger. Yes I can lift a lot but I mean inside. I feel like I finally have control. Food is fuel = energy. Use it as such. Yes there is a lot of tasty foods out there and yes I think everything is okay in moderation, but why have copious amounts of fat on your body at all times?

Nothing good comes out of it.. PROVE ME WRONG I DARE YOU!

and if you tell me you don’t give a shit and you just want to enjoy food because it tastes good, fine but I can ONLY imagine what you think when you see yourself naked. Honestly.

Alright followers this is a little update/ inside my mind for ya..

Today’s schedule-

7am 30min Cardio
9-5pm Work
7pm Hair cut
830pm Leg Workout + Cardio
1030pm Sports Nutrition Project
11pm Bed

The Food Log

8am 1/4cup Oatmeal, with a 1/2 scoop protein powder, and 1/2 grapefruit.
1130am 1/2 chicken breast with asparagus
230pm 1/2 chicken breast with asparagus
500pm Brown Rice Tuna Avocado Sushi Roll (4)
800pm Some kind of protein
11pm Brown Rice Tuna Avocado Sushi Roll (4)

Just a few pictures because we know how I love to take them..

  1. What I had yesterday morning for breakfast. Awesome  ya?
  2. My meals and snack for the work hours.
  3. What my fridge looks like (see upside down again.. wtf).

The Work Out

Don’t even know. Having Taylor there should help keep my energy up (since I don’t have any)..
All I really know is we are going to be squatting A LOT.. that and lunging like we’ve never lunged before..

Should I tell her how sore she is going to be? lol.

Final Week Check List (cont)..

  • Finalizing hotel today.
  • Picked up Mac foundation, lip gloss, and eyelashes.
  • Need to buy ice packs for coolers.

Other then that, I don’t really need anything else. Everything will just happen as each day passes.. Like tomorrow might be the only day where I don’t have an appointment somewhere.. I just have my final project due for my nutrition class.. But Thursday I have a late nail appointment and that’s when I will be checking into the hotel.. Only a couple more workouts and then Friday after my tan I will just chill all day probably flexing.

HA!

Alright I am going to get back to work and hopefully things continue to stay peachy.

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